Zoro's Odyssey
by CardboardHut
Summary: Zoro returns (by no design of his own) to the island of Ilium, a country that exists outside of World Government jurisdiction, though not for long if nothing is done. Queen Helena desperately needs his help, but may be too prideful to accept it. -a standalone sequel to The Straw Hats and the Iliad. Takes place directly after the timeskip, before Zoro and Perona reach Saobody.
1. Chapter 1 - Vivre Ilium!

**Note from the Author:** Well, hi guys! Sorry it took me so long to get this up and running. Motherhood is...well, it ain't easy. Worth it, sure, but not easy. (Go hug your mom and tell her thank you.) Finding time to write is now a challenge, hardcore. But an even bigger challenge is keeping my creative mind sharp. I highly doubt I will be able to get onto a regular update schedule like the last one. (And as you may have guessed, NaNoWriMo did NOT happen for me this year, alas).

So, if you are new here, this story is a sequel to The Straw Hats and the Iliad. I am trying to write it with enough exposition woven into the beginning that it can stand alone; if you haven't read Iliad, you'll have to let me know if I did alright with that.

A note: the name Helena is pronounced "He-lain-a", not the more common "Hel-en-a."

* * *

Ch. 1 – Vivre Ilium!

T'was a pity that the likes of Roronoa Zoro could not appreciate the noble art of phrenology, Perona thought to herself as she watched the wrinkles in his sizeable forehead deepen the longer she tried to get his attention. Then again, despite Hogback's insistence that the size of one's forehead indicated some level of intelligence, Zoro wasn't exactly the sharpest nail in the coffin, was he?

She eyed him in displeasure as he pointedly ignored her. He sat cross-legged and meditating aft on their little casket shaped sailing-vessel, but though he had warned her to leave him alone during those times, she felt their current predicament worthy of his notice.

"HEY!" she'd floated up to him and shouted directly in his ear this time. He recoiled away from her, swearing, and summarily overbalanced and fell overboard.

When he surfaced, his face had gone a lovely, apoplectic shade of crimson, warm and angry despite the cold ocean. "What is wrong with you?" he snarled in that ugly, deep voice of his.

The ghost girl giggled her characteristic, hollow giggle, but did nothing to help him back on board. She didn't feel it worth the effort of returning to her body, which currently slouched in a chair under the cross-shaped mast at the center of their little boat.

As it turned out, he really didn't need her help much anyway. The boat rocked violently as he slumped back on board. When it settled, he glared at her, again wrinkling that sizeable forehead of his. How could it be so big yet he so dumb? Truly Dr. Hogback would have fun studying the anomaly.

"I swear, one of us is going to end up killing the other before this little trip is done," Zoro informed her, hand resting on his katana. Her eyes flickered to his swords, but she knew it was an empty threat.

"Hmm, well, you should just be grateful I'm here to navigate for you," Perona informed him, twirling her parasol. "After I dump your ungrateful butt at the Archipelago, I'm taking this lovely little boat to search for Moria-sama."

"Lovely my arse," Zoro cursed, wringing out his threadbare, soaking wet shirt. "Beats me why Mihawk likes to travel on this thing."

"I think traveling in a coffin is romantic," Perona said dreamily.

"And cramped," Zoro put in unhelpfully. His tone became decidedly more cheerful when he went on, "Hey! There's an island ahead."

"Yes, that's what I was trying to tell you," Perona replied dully. "The weather's been steady and warm for a while now. I think it's a summer island. In fact," she narrowed her eyes as dark clouds blotted out the sun. "I think a summer storm is on its way."

"Good thing we'll make landfall soon then," Zoro grunted. "Maybe we can look for a bigger boat and some supplies."

"And I can finally buy some new clothes!" Perona put in excitedly. "Something black and mysterious. –Hey, you need clothes that fit. If you'll carry my bags, I _could_ help you shop…"

"And put me in a bear costume again? No thanks," Zoro retaliated.

Perona hummed a disappointed response, but then her own brow furrowed. "Something's weird though."

"What?" Zoro asked. He was now looking at the island ahead through narrowed eyes. It was obviously inhabited; they could see a harbor set into the mouth of a bay, and what looked like a large walled off city a little ways beyond it. At the center of the island stood an enormous mountain, so high it disappeared into the clouds.

"Well, I didn't think there was a Summer Island between Gloom Island and Saobody, but the vivre card you gave me is pointing right at it!"

Zoro's eyes widened and he swore. "No…"

"You know this place?" Perona asked.

"We are NOT landing there," Zoro informed her. "Let me see that vivre card!"

The wind started to pick up. "But the storm, we have to land…!"

"No!" Zoro insisted.

Though they'd entered into the island's climate, the storm came up as fast as anything on the grand line. It almost felt like an act of the gods, Perona thought. The waves darkened and grew, the wind strengthened and blew, pushing them around the island and away from the harbor.

"Get back into your body, idiot!" Zoro called to her, bracing himself against the swirling ship as she floated after him in a frenzy.

"B-but someone should keep a lookout. We're getting close enough to run agr…"

As she said it she heard a sickening crunch. In horror she watched the tiny coffin boat Mihawk had lent them break up into matchsticks as it smashed into a breaching reef. Zoro disappeared beneath the waves, and the last thing she remembered was seeing her uninhabited body fly from its throne-like chair toward the angry ocean as she watched from above. Then everything went black.

* * *

Perona awoke the devil-only-knew how long later to find herself face down in warm, wet sand. Her limbs felt like they'd been gutted and taxidermied; stuffed with soggy cotton like her old zombie minions. It was a moment or two before she even attempted to push herself upright, but something heavy lay across her back, holding her down.

Unable to move, with pins and needles threatening to shoot through her dead arms, she decided enough was enough and went into ghost mode. Leaving her leaden body in the sand, she floated through the obstruction holding her down only to give a start when she realized what, or rather _who_ it was.

"You idiot!" she snapped, forgetting her lack of corporeality and attempting to smack Zoro on the back of the head. It was he who held her down, one of his heavy, muscular arms splayed out across her back as he lay unconscious beside her.

"Hey!" she screamed in his ear.

He offered no response, and the unthinkable suddenly occurred to her.

"Hey!" she bawled out again, tears stinging her eyes this time. "You didn't go and die trying to save me, did you? I won't forgive you if you did, you know. Wake up!"

Again he didn't stir. A few of her ghost companions popped out of her, wailing with her as her spirit whirled around in useless figure-eight patterns.

"You jerk! You jerk! I hate you so much!"

Her sobs came to a sudden halt as a feral noise rent the warm, late afternoon air.

 _HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahnnnnnnnnnnnk…_

The ghost girl's abnormally wide eyes grew, if possible, wider as she tried to place the sound. It seemed to be coming from the mouth of a cave not far off.

 _HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhnk!_

The timbre was inhuman, possibly a spirit or a monster of some sort. Well, if it was something like that, she shouldn't have anything to fear, right? She was, after all, the Ghost Princess. Summoning a few more hollow ghosts to her side, she turned toward the cave.

HaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhNNNNNKKKKKKKK!

In the harsh afternoon light, Perona could see that the cave couldn't be any earthly being's home – a rockslide blocked up its entrance. Either the sound came from within the rocks themselves, or perhaps behind the spill of rocks blocking its mouth.

"What the-?" Zoro's voice behind her drew her gaze.

"You're alive!" she said, too distracted by their current plight to hide her relief. The large man stumbled to his feet, hand on his swords.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHNK!

Quick and bright as lightning, something white shot out of the cave toward them. Just as quickly Perona shot some of her ghosts at it, hoping against hope that her power would prove effective against whatever unholy being besieged them.

"Honk!"

The creature fell to the earth in a flurry of white feathers, its avian face forlorn as Perona's depressing powers took effect.

"It's a…! It's a…!" Perona stuttered.

"Congratulations, Ghost Girl, you just took down a goose," Zoro informed her glibly, poking at the large bird with one of his unsheathed swords.

"I just caught us dinner thank you very much!" Perona stuck her tongue out at him, wondering why she had been so sad over his potential death a moment ago.

Zoro made a humming noise, squatting down by the enormous bird to inspect it. Meanwhile Perona zipped back into her body. It took a moment for her to get her sodden limbs working again. When she did, she glanced back at the swordsman to see that he hadn't moved.

"What are you waiting for, idiot? We haven't had a decent meal in ages!" Perona reminded him. The afternoon sun beat down on her brow, and she lamented the loss of her parasol. "Spit it and cook it for me! It's the least you can do for me after I…"

She trailed off. She was about to insist he serve her based on her merits as his navigator, but remembered that she'd not only gotten them shipwrecked, but that he had just risked his life to pull her from the drink in the middle of a summer storm.

"I told you! I'm not your servant!" Zoro insisted, glowering at her. He turned back to the goose, and went on more demurely. "Anyway, it doesn't seem sporting to kill it while it's too depressed to move."

"My powers are every bit as 'sporting' as your swords, you jerk," Perona asserted, but Zoro still waited patiently for the hollow-hollow fruit's after effects to wear off.

Perona was positive the bird would take flight as soon as it lifted its head from where it had hidden it in depressed shame beneath its wings, and then amen to their dinner plans (she had forgotten that Zoro could throw his slashes). To her surprise, when it recovered it didn't even try to escape. Instead it leapt at Zoro where he squatted, grabbing him by the nose between the toes of its webbed feet.

"HEY!" Zoro snapped, flailing uselessly, his sword having fallen from his lap in the wake of such a sudden and strange attack.

"HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!"

"GEROFF YOU CRAZY BIRD!"

"Holo-holo-holo-holo! " Perona couldn't help laughing loudly at Zoro's expense. "That bird is nuts! What kind of goose grabs people with its toes when its beak is so much more effective?"

The goose paused to look at her a moment, expression pensive. Still holding Zoro's nose between the toes of its surprisingly flexible webbed feet, it started pecking him on the head.

"Wow! It understood me!" Perona laughed harder. "Holo-holo-holo-holo! I would help you out, but my powers just aren't 'sporting,' are they?"

Zoro grabbed the bird about the middle and pried it away from his face. He glared into its oddly blue eyes for a moment, deepening those trenches on that sizeable forehead of his as he did.

"You remind me of a certain, frustrating king I know," he informed it. The goose ceased its struggling, and matched his gaze, turning its head sideways to look him in the eye before wiggling its fluffy, goosey eyebrows. Was it just Perona's imagination, or did that goose have a little curlicue of a beard?

"No…" Zoro started, dropping the goose as it honked loudly in protest. "You're not really King Cygnus, are you?"

The goose had landed in a fluffy heap, and so stood, smoothing its ruffled feathers before nodding curtly.

"How?" Zoro spluttered, then he shook his head. "No. I don't care. Perona, we need to get out of here. Now. Before the queen finds out I'm here."

"The Queen Goose?" Perona asked. "Why would you be afraid of her?"

Zoro at first snorted as if the idea were preposterous, but then seemed to change his mind. He rounded on Cygnus. "Don't tell me the gods turned you all into geese or something."

Cygnus shook his head vigorously, but then held his wings toward Zoro, clasping his feathers as though pleading with him.

"I…think he wants you to help him?" Perona supplied unnecessarily.

"Look, _Pops._ I'd love to help, but Helena kind of banished me in a sense. I haven't accomplished what I set out to do, so…OW!"

The goose had pecked him sharply in the kneecaps.

"We could always roast you for dinner you know!" Zoro snarled at him, then realized that on top of attacking his kneecaps, the goose had stolen one of his katana. It took off into the nearby woods with Zoro scrambling after it, shouting curses.

"I could help him," Perona thought aloud to one of her ghosts, walking casually after them, "But I think I'll wait. After all, it's not sporting."

* * *

Sometime later, with the sun sinking down in the sky, Zoro still hadn't caught up with Cygnus. In fact, he'd lost sight of him entirely. The stupid ghost girl was no help. She meandered along, always a few yards behind him, enjoying the scenery. He slowed his pace, then stopped, looking for some sort of sign to show him which way the goose had gone.

"I'm tired," Perona whined. "Let's take a rest!"

"No! We need to find that stupid Cygnus and get out of here."

"UUGH!" Perona groaned. "You lost him, didn't you?"

"He _wanted_ me to follow him, I'm sure he hasn't gone far," Zoro replied irritably.

Zoro heard quickened footsteps behind him. Before he knew it, Perona had jumped up on his back.

"Hey, I'm not going to carry…" he started, making to dump her, but she interrupted.

"Just look after my body for a sec, jerk."

Her body turned to deadweight on his shoulders as Perona's spirit floated into the air above them. "Time to get a bird's eye view," she chortled. "Get it, _bird's eye_? Cause we're looking for a bird."

"Yeah, yeah, very clever," Zoro replied flatly.

"I wasn't talking to _you,_ " Perona informed him, turning instead to a plethora of her ghosts. They appeared to giggle at her wit before scattering in search of their missing goose.

"See anything, Ghost Girl?" he called up to her after a while.

"That's Ghost _Princess_ ," she corrected haughtily before floating down to Zoro.

"Still nothing," she hummed. "So who is this goose king, anyway? And why didn't you just cut him down with one of your other swords?"

"That goose isn't really a goose," Zoro informed her.

"Yeah, I guess I gathered as much," she yawned. "So he's some king person trapped as a goose? What did you do to his queen to make her hate you, though? Oh, let me guess!" She placed a hand dreamily on her cheek, "Was it some sort of horrible, romantic scandal? You're really a prince!" she said excitedly. "And the current king killed your father then married your mother. Your father's ghost told you of the murder, and you returned to avenge his death, but nearly went mad in the process. You duel and kill your father with a poisoned blade, and your mother drank poison and…"

When she happened a glance back at Zoro, the man wore a thoroughly unamused expression. "This isn't some corny play you know."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. As if you could be royalty…"

Zoro chose to ignore that comment. "The queen doesn't hate me. And the king and queen of this island aren't married," Zoro informed her. "They are father and daughter."

"Oh…well… that's…unusual…" Perona started.

Zoro sighed. "Look at the Vivre card I gave you. It belongs to the queen."

Perona zoomed back into her body. Retrieving the card, she didn't get off of Zoro's back, rather held it in front of both of their faces for both to read. As he had expected, he'd given her the wrong card. Instead of a simple scribble of Rayleigh's name, it carried a longer message:

 _"Beloved_ ," it began. Perona read the word aloud with some disbelief before reading on. " _I don't want to see your face in Ilium again until you're the world's greatest swordmaster."_

He hadn't actually read the card in almost three years, but he had the words on it memorized. Perona nearly choked him in her grip when she read aloud how it had been signed:

"Your loving _wife_?! You're _married?!_ You never said you were married!"

"What does it matter?" Zoro asked. Her knee grip around him tightened to increase her balance as she started pounding him in the head with her fists.

"What if I had fallen in love with you, you jerk? We've been together for almost two years! Anything could have happened! You should have said something or I could have gotten the wrong impression! Honestly, do you know _nothing_ about girls? I mean, you don't even wear a ring!"

"Yes I do!" Zoro replied, dropping her so she would stop pounding him. He went to show her the katana that bore his wedding band, only to remember that that was the sword Cygnus had taken.

"You're such a liar," Perona spat, getting red in the face as she sat herself up where she had fallen.

"It's not like you asked," Zoro replied with a calm shrug. "How was I supposed to know you were interested in me?"

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" Perona shrieked indignantly, jumping to her feet. She flipped one of her pigtails and went on more sedately, "It's the principle of the thing. So anyway, who is this woman crazy enough to say yes to _your_ marriage proposal?"

"Actually, she proposed to me first…" Zoro started.

"Wait!" Perona cut him off. "You said that vivre card belonged to the queen of this island. Don't tell me you're married to…"

"That's right, Ghost _Girl_."

"Wait, does that mean _you're_ a…you're a…"

"I'm not a King," Zoro informed her. "I haven't been crowned. I'm just the queen's consort, nothing more."

"But if you're married to her, and the king of the island is her father, that means you have a goose for a…"

A rustle in the trees above them drew their attention upward. Perona gripped his arm suddenly in fear as they both finished her sentence together:

"Father-in-Law…"

The goose appeared out of nowhere, dropping Zoro's sword on the swordsman's head. Like a white clad ninja, he dropped from the trees, aiming his sharp beak at Zoro's head.

"Ow! Hey! What did I do this time?" he demanded, shielding his head and pushing Perona away.

"Oh, nothing," Perona pointed out with a mischievous gleam in her eye, "Just led a poor girl on. I swear Mr. King, sir. I had _no_ idea he was married. What a cad. In his defense," she flipped one of her pigtails. "Love _is_ a hurricane."

At the word "hurricane," the goose gave but a moment's pause. His unnaturally blue eyes glowed with an angry fire, and he rounded on Zoro in a veritable flurry of pecking, hissing, and biting.

"ARGH! See if I ever save _your_ life again," Zoro grumbled at Perona.

"Excuse me?" Perona asked above the noise. "Who saved _whom_ first?"

"I never asked for your help!" Zoro snarled at her, grabbing Cygnus by the neck and holding him at arm's length.

"Hmm, but it seems his Majesty, King Goosey needs ours," Perona said, as Cygnus tried to honk but only managed to choke out a squeak."I know you're mad at him, Mr. King, sir. But what did you need our help for? And if we help you, can you get us a boat?"

A little blue in the face, "King Goosey" turned to nod vigorously at Perona. Zoro let him flutter to the ground, though the now avian king made sure to clip his son-in-law on the back of the head with his wings as he went.

"So, let me guess, you need help turning human again," Perona went on.

Cygnus nodded, honking.

"Do you know what we need to do to help you?" she went on.

More nodding.

"Perfect! So all you need to do is lead the way," she said, clapping her hands in delight. "Now, this boat you're going to lend us," she bent down toward him and started poking the bird in the chest. "I want it manned with servants who will bring me hot cocoa and bagel sandwiches and…"

"Hold up," Zoro cut her off, squaring himself towards his father-in-law. "If we help you, is Queen Helena going to find out about this?"

Cygnus shrugged his wings.

"Look. Technically I'm not supposed to be here, so…"

"Whether or not you run into her, we _do_ need a boat…" Perona started.

"I will strap logs together to make a raft if I have to," Zoro informed her. "Cygnus, you know your daughter won't want to see me. It will just make things harder."

Cygnus let out a few indignant honks, gesturing toward Perona. Zoro quickly grasped his meaning.

"That girl is my guide. Choose to believe whatever you want; I've stayed true to Helena. That's not why I don't want her to see me."

Cygnus eyed him incredulously. Zoro could practically see the words "Hurricane Lover" running through the king's mind. Well, that was his problem, not Zoro's.

"So, do we have a deal? We help you, you give us a boat, but Helena doesn't see me."

Cygnus hesitated, but at last he must have realized he didn't have much choice. He nodded.

"Alright," Zoro said, "Lead the way."


	2. Chapter 2 - Hollow Spy

Ch. 2 – Hollow Spy

"Have we been here before?" Zoro asked aloud to no one in particular, his head cocked to one side as he surveyed the scene.

"Honk honk honk honk honk?" Cygnus asked, his head cocked the same way as his son-in-law's, stroking his feathery beard.

"Nah."

"Hahnk…"

"Couldn't be…"

"Honk honk…"

"It just _looks_ the same…"

"Honk honk _honk_ honk honk…"

"YES!" Perona shrieked. "This is OBVIOUSLY the beach where we washed up! We've been going in circles."

Zoro and the goose exchanged confused glances while Perona felt the need to point out the obvious to the two dunderheads:

"See, beach covered in debris?" she said, pointing to the sand. "Caved in cave?" she pointed to the cave. "Breaching reef?" she pointed out into the ocean.

Comprehension dawned in both of their faces, but slowly. Perona groaned.

"UGH! You two are hopeless!" she informed them, then continued sensibly. "Look, the sun's practically down. It's a new moon. We won't be able to see anything at this rate. I say we hunker down for the night."

"What's the matter, Ghost Girl?" Zoro asked, "I thought you liked the dark."

Perona knew he was only yanking her chain, but he still managed to get the rise out of her he was looking for. "Even I'M not stupid enough to go hiking through underbrush in the pitch black, you jerk! Now get us some dinner. You too, goosey."

"Why us?" Zoro asked.

"Because you're the ones who got us lost, idiot," she snapped. "I'll set up camp here."

"A pampered "princess" like you knows how to build a fire?"

"Actually, I do," Perona retorted. "And I bet I'll do a better job building it than you will at getting anything to cook on it…"

"HONK!" Cygnus cut in, holding his wings crossed over his face.

"What is it, King Goosey?" Perona asked. "No fire?"

Cygnus nodded vigorously.

"But…but we haven't eaten in ages!" Perona insisted. That was a bit of an exaggeration. They had brought food on their boat. What she meant was that they hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

"Is someone after you or something?" Zoro asked Cygnus.

The goose made no move to respond, and instead disappeared into the brush. Zoro and Perona exchanged bemused glances until the goose reappeared a moment later with a wild peach in his beak. He dropped this into Perona's hand.

"Fruit for dinner, huh?" she said. "Well, I guess it's better than nothing." She scratched Cygnus's feathered head. The goose seemed to melt happily beneath her fingers.

"What about me?" Zoro asked.

Cygnus pecked his toes.

* * *

As Cygnus had implied something about enemies, Perona had set up her hollow ghosts to act as an alarm system should they be attacked by night. That meant they could all get some much needed rest. Of course, rest for her body didn't mean she needed rest for her spirit. While the other two snoozed, she projected herself into the night.

"Time to get an idea of the lay of the land," she murmured to herself, floating above their fireless campsite into the tepid night air. "Those stupid boys couldn't navigate themselves out of a lidless coffin."

Taking to the sky, she quickly spotted at least one recognizable landmark. – They were a few miles walk from the big, walled city they had seen when the storm had rolled in. She knew by now, from conversation with Zoro, that it was called Ilium, and it was capitol of the island, also called Ilium.

"The Kingdom of Ilium on the Island of Ilium set in the City of Ilium," she giggled. "How…original. At least it's easy to remember."

Just outside the walls was a portside town with quaint, clean, gabled houses. Though outside of the main city, it was by no means a poorer district – an enormous mansion graced the port itself. This town Perona had learned was called Mycenae, and it was mostly populated by sea prism miners and craftsmen.

"I can't believe Zoro's married to the queen of the country that produces most of the world's sea prism," Perona gushed as she flew, remembering more of what Zoro had told her. "Or that such a country would be so…small."

She didn't have to fly very high to see the island in its entirety. Ilium and Mycenae weren't the only populated areas, but together they comprised the majority of the island's population to be sure. In the distance, Perona could see a handful of towns, a city or two, and some agricultural communities with huge, sweeping fields. None could compete with the grandeur of the capitol.

Bu then, an enormously tall mountain did take up much of the middle of the island and mostly blocked her view of the other side. Some of the city of Ilium sloped up onto the side of mountain itself, which helped raise the palace to a point of prominence.

"Speaking of Zoro's queen…" Perona eyed the pillared palace with interest. "I wonder what she's like."

* * *

Guided by her ghost spies, Perona's first thought was to look for Her Majesty in the throne room. She had forgotten the late hour, as both Moria and Mihawk had a tendency to conduct their business well after dark. When she did find the throne room, she found it occupied, though not by the queen.

Peeking through an enormous circular window set into the roof of the marbled throne room, Perona's brow furrowed. If Queen Helena wasn't there to conduct state business, why was her throne room full of soldiers? Were they soldiers? Their clothes certainly weren't uniform, but all the men were armed.

The rowdy bunch seemed to be having some sort of a late night feast. Some of them had definitely had too much wine, and lay passed out on the floor, but the majority looked like they were good to party til dawn. They sang and talked loudly with the apparent comradery of long-time friends.

Perona was no stranger to unusual décor. Moria-Sama liked to decorate his walls with Zombies, after all. Still, she couldn't quite make sense of the room's centerpiece. Twelve steel axes ran perpendicular to the throne, held in place by what looked like tree roots. Sure it had its aesthetic, but if the queen were a swordsman as Zoro said, why the axes?

Swordsman! That's what the men all had in common! Swords! – Perona narrowed her eyes. The men weren't dressed like soldiers; they were dressed like princes. Like suitors!

"So much for Zoro and his fidelity," Perona whispered excitedly to one of her ghosts. "She's the one who's not staying true to _him_! Holo holo holo holo…sucker."

A small, group near the throne caught her attention. A pair of coxcombs dressed to the nines in silks and tall, powdered wigs spoke conspiratorially with a third man, dark of complexion and more humble and pensive in his bearing. Soon a fourth man joined them, this one boasting the figure of a gobslotch, though he deported himself with more propriety than the majority of men in the room. He wore a snappy suit and top hat, and carried an umbrella, not a sword.

Perona floated down toward them, keeping within the walls themselves as best she could until she could properly hide in the shadow of the queen's imposing but empty throne. One of the fancy nancies was speaking:

"You think the queen's been avoiding us all this time?" he asked, his voice foppish and shrill. "The nerve! It is an insult to the entire Kingdom of Macaroni! Is it not, Prince Popinjay?"

He turned to the powdered man beside him, who was so like him they could only be brothers. Popinjay nodded so energetically he almost lost his wig. "Oh, indeed Pompadour, indeed!" His powdered brow furrowed indignantly at the perceived offense.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that, mon," the swarthy man put in. He had a musical rhythm to his voice, which stood in stark relief to the shrillness of the two Princes. Where they wore ridiculous coiffures and bejeweled rapiers, he had a pair of practical looking machetes strapped to his back, almost hidden beneath a long mop of dreadlocked hair. "Queen Helena must have her reasons for keeping this from us."

"I can't imagine what they could be," the round, mustachioed man said. "And to be honest, I'm surprised I had to come here like it's my job and tell you all this. She's seriously kept this up for two years?"

"Mr. Bags!" Trilled the one called Pompadour. "She said she was making a funeral shroud for her late husband, what were we supposed to say?"

 _Late?_ Perona thought, intrigued. _They think Zoro's dead?_

"I've seen the shroud," Popinjay put in, pulling out a fan and flittering it toward himself elegantly. "It's not like she's pretending to make something that doesn't exist."

"We've all seen it, mon," the rhythmic one said, "I really think there's an explanation."

"What explanation could there possibly be?" the mustachioed Mr. Bags retorted, blowing a few large bubbles from the pipe sticking out of his superb white mustache. "She hasn't been making any progress on it for two years? Really? And let's not forget what I just told you about Iliad royalty. If one of the royal family dies, their body is taken by Hades straight to Elysium. The God of Death leaves a pomegranate in their stead, to be planted in the sacred pomegranate groves behind the castle. Queen Helena's dead husband doesn't need a shroud. There's no body to shroud it with!"

"Just let me go talk to her, mon."

"Hm, indeed. Confront her for all of us, will you?" Pompadour said. "I expect to see her first thing tomorrow morning, acting as the hostess she has hitherto refused to be!"

The self-elected messenger turned from the group, and Perona caught a glimpse of his rather handsome face. Well, he wasn't really Perona's type (she was more into the pale and pulseless), but she could acknowledge a good looking specimen when she saw one. His keen eyes, furrowed in frustration, were a striking shade of cerulean against the mocha of his skin. She followed him out into a hallway as surreptitiously as she could, managing to avoid his sharp gaze.

"She's a smart woman," the suitor murmured to himself. "If I were her, I'd avoid us too."

As they made their way down the hall, Perona's anticipation grew. What would the woman dumb enough to marry a meat head like Zoro look like? She was a Queen, so Perona begrudgingly admitted that she must be beautiful. But she couldn't be intelligent. Zoro's ridiculously enormous forehead being the exception to Dr. Hogback's phrenologic rule of intelligence, Queen Helena had to have a teeny, tiny, itty bitty forehead.

Her unwitting guide appeared to be headed toward a carved wooden door at the end of the hallway. Perona quickly realized that she wasn't going to be able to eavesdrop without being seen unless she found a window. Spiriting herself through a wall, again guided by her ghost spies, she managed to get a glimpse into the room before the suitor arrived.

Perona was quite disappointed to discover that Queen Helena had a perfectly normal sized forehead, thank you very much. In fact, whatever she'd been expecting, she hadn't been expecting _this._

* * *

Queen Helena de Zoro ni Cygnes et Leda of the Line of Prometheus remained oblivious to the gothic spy floating just outside her study window. She had far too much to do to worry about the innocuous judgements of a silly girl, even if she had noticed her presence.

Helena took a sip of hot coffee from a mug on her desk, well aware that the night was warm, but desperate for the boost of caffeine as she tried to get all of the day's work done. Though she'd already dressed down for the day, she knew she had a few hours to go at least. Wearing her very favorite and most comfortable green-striped pajamas, she gazed through a pair of reading glasses at the paperwork before her, muttering to herself before she signed it and marked it with her royal seal.

As she signed and read documents, approving this proposition, rejecting that contract, she also managed another, rather important knitting project. She held it before her as she worked through legal affairs, only her hands were too busy for such a craft; instead she held the pair of sharp wooden knitting needles between her remarkably dexterous toes. If anyone were watching her closely, they'd see that she was in fact _un_ knitting at the moment – removing stitches on the funeral shroud that had served for two years as her excuse to stay away from the army of suitors plaguing her throne room.

If she had been thinking of Zoro at all at present, it would simply be to acknowledge that she felt several decades older than when last she'd seen him. She knew that her cropped platinum hair now held strands of silver, which became more and more visible as the days passed. Before the year was out, she would probably be as white-haired as her father, who'd also blanched young.

Speaking of her father...

Helena glanced at the transponder snail on her desk. She'd been waiting all afternoon to hear back from General Hector about the search for Ilium's former King. That he still hadn't reported in made her antsy.

Cygnus had been missing for several days now at least. And he wasn't the only one. Several of Helena's best men had also disappeared, a few here, a few there, over the past few months. By now it felt like a good chunk of her army had vanished into thin air. Her father had disappeared in search of them. Now she feared that Hector had done the same.

Feet never slowing in their work on the fine silk yarn, she'd just reached out a hand to the transponder snail when a knock came to the door of her study.

"Enter," she said, then regretted it when the suitor cautiously opened the door.

"Mr. Calypso," she said, tearing the reading glasses from before her flashing brown eyes. "Just what do you think you are doing here? I thought I had strictly relegated you and the rest of the suitors to the throne room."

"Ya, mon, I know," Calypso responded, eyes wide in his face. He seemed less shocked by her anger than he was to see her in her pajamas. It wasn't like she ever allowed herself to appear before the princes in anything less formal than her military attire.

"State your business!" she snapped, straightening out of the contorted position she'd been in and lowering her knitting to the floor.

She could see his gaze lingering on the scar on her neck; an old, deep battle wound. Though she didn't hide it intentionally like she used to, she didn't flaunt it either. It was a doozy, and one of her most prized. It ran all the way from under her ear, across her chest and through her hip; not that he could see that. Very few in fact ever had.

"Look, I came to warn you. The others have caught on to your ruse," he said.

"What are you babbling about?"

"That thing you're knitting right now," he said. "Or should I say, unknitting. It's all a lie, no? Your husband has no need of a funeral shroud."

A loud crunch from under Helena's desk announced the unintentional demise of her wooden knitting needles as they met their end between her strong toes. Despite her anger, she managed a genuinely amused, though small smile.

"How long have you known?" she asked.

"Over a year now, mon," he said with a charming grin. The man had beautiful teeth. "I thought that even a Queen who was all thumbs…er…toes at knitting to begin with would have figured it out at least by then. Any time any of us have seen you, it's been with needles in your feet. It can't have taken this long."

"So you told all of your buddies out there that I've been weaving by day and unweaving by night?"

"No," he replied. "Mr. Bags did. It was Popinjay and Pompadour who contacted him and asked."

 _And why,_ Helena thought to herself, _Would the two Princes of Macaroni be in contact with our World Government Liaison?_

"I see…" she started.

"Queen Helena," Calypso started respectfully. "What I don't understand is why you feel the need to lie to us. I always thought you were a woman of integrity, at least that's what your people tell me. If you don't like any of the suitors, why don't you just say so, mon?"

Helena sighed. Back when she had first begun her reign she would have thrown all the suitors out in a heartbeat. Heaven knew she could take any or all of them with a sword. But things had changed. She was a wiser woman now than she was back then; at least, her father thought so.

"Is it because you like being courted this way?" His lip curled at her slyly. "Has someone captured your heart?"

Helena stared at him, unsure how to react to such a blatant comment. Just what did he think he was implying?

"Let me make something abundantly clear to you," she said, standing. She was a good head taller than he, and used the fact to loom over him as intimidatingly as she could manage in her striped pajamas. "My husband could still be alive. Even if he is not; I have no intention of remarrying."

"I thought you needed to produce an heir…"

"Do you think to counsel me, sir?" she spat. "And just what would a drum-maker know about the affairs of state?"

For that was all he was. All the men in her halls, so far as she could tell, were Princes or Knights. But Calypso was a simple craftsman, a musician, who, so far as she understood, had come to Ilium on a whim and stayed for reasons of his own. Reasons she knew all too well as he smiled becomingly at her now.

"Perhaps as much as a pirate did," he replied with a wink, clearly not stung by her attempt to pull rank. "Or your former Lieutenant General…"

That he even thought to bring up Troy almost drove her to draw her swords. The royal rapiers lay in their sheaths, strapped to the back of her desk chair, well within reach. She'd been doing so well lately, it seemed a shame to ruin a good streak by skewering someone.

"Get out," she said sharply instead, pointing toward the door.

"If you say so, mon," he cajoled. "Just thought I'd remind you…"

"Out."

"…that you deserve more than the pirate who abandoned you for adventure on the high seas."

The door swung shut behind him before Helena could respond. A little flabbergasted at his boldness, she mouthed wordlessly after him for a few moments, before finally saying aloud:

"One day I'm going to chop that man's smirking head off."

"What's holding you back?"

Helena looked up to see her friend and mentor, Lieutenant Andromache now standing in the doorway. That she hadn't bothered to knock didn't surprise her – Ann had probably been eavesdropping on the exchange.

Helena seated herself, schooling her expression into something more neutral. "Father wouldn't like it," she said with composure, taking a sip of her now tepid coffee.

"Last I checked, your Father is no longer in charge," Andromache replied. "Not since you were crowned."

Helena wasn't going to argue with her about this today. Andromache had been something of a surrogate mother to her, and often took it upon herself to act as Helena's advisor. It was out of line, but Ann pressed it because she knew she could get away with it.

"Speaking of my Father, I've been meaning to get in touch with you regarding the search. Have you heard back from your husband, General Hector?"

"I haven't," Andromache sighed, removing the enormous sword from her back so she could drape herself sideways into a comfortable armchair near Helena's desk. "I was hoping you had. That's why I came to speak with you. –Hey, you know that man has a point. If you wanted to drive the suitors out, you could."

"You know very well why I can't."

"So what are your thoughts on Calypso?" Ann asked point blank. "I mean, he is the only man in the bunch who shows any shred of decency. Not to mention he's handsome, decent with a blade, and he sure can dance…"

"Can you please keep to the topic at hand," Helena snapped. "A considerable portion of my men, my father, and now your husband are missing. I have half a mind to go out to the eastern wood in search of them myself."

"Ah, but now that you've been found out, you're going to have to spend your time playing hostess to those sprauncy posers, aren't you?" Andromache reminded her. "Give Hector at least another day. He knows what he's doing."

"Aren't you worried?" Helena asked, brows knit in concern.

"Of course I am," Ann replied, "I have a very capable husband. I trust he'll come through." There seemed to be a subtext to her words, but it was shattered when she again changed the subject, "So, are you in love with Calypso?"

"I am not in love with anyone," Helena said with cool indifference.

"Not even Zoro?" Andromache asked, a would-be innocent smile spreading across her pixyish face.

Helena felt a jolt at direct mention of his name. Andromache seemed to realize her mistake, because she stiffened upright in her chair at the change in Helena's demeanor.

"There is only one person that truly has my heart," Helena intoned with a soft but deadly note of anger. She got to her feet, slinging four sword sheaths across her shoulders. "And if you have followed your orders correctly, that person is waiting for me in my bedchamber at this moment, is that correct?"

Andromache, though normally not one to balk when Helena got angry, appeared appropriately alarmed. "Yes, asleep actually. But that's a different kind of love, Helena. It's something, but it can't fix the hole in your heart…"

"I believe I am finished for the day," Helena said. She kicked the now useless shroud aside, leaving a messy pile of papers and a half empty cup of cold coffee on her desk as she strode toward the door. She turned just before making her exit and met Andromache's gaze:

"Do not mention his name again," she articulated. "I don't care if he's dead or alive. He is not welcome here."

* * *

Perona grinned to herself as she hovered outside the study window. She couldn't help herself; the misery of the situation was just too delicious.

"What a complete disaster," she giggled to one of her ghosts. "Zoro doesn't realize she's cheating on him. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him. But I guess first I need to check out this eastern wood. Maybe I can get a clue about King Goosey."

Thoroughly pleased with her now completed clandestine mission, she took to the night sky giggling to herself, a trail of grinning hollow ghosts tittering in her wake.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Queen's Secrets

**Note from the Author** : Some of you thought Helena and Zoro couldn't possibly have a child. I'm wondering how you figure...I thought I made it pretty clear that they consummated the marriage. Um...

Anyway, please don't judge Helena too harshly. The poor dear has been through a lot...

* * *

Ch. 3 – The Queen's Secrets

The following sunrise found Helena in the Grove of Kings behind the palace. She had just completed her pre-dawn workout, and so wore a short, thin chiton despite the slight chill of the morning mist. Though it was technically considered athletic attire, Helena saw nothing inappropriate with visiting the graves of royalty dressed in the traditional garb of the ancients.

She had arrived carrying two bouquets. One, an arrangement of waterlilies, she had already placed in a fork in her mother's pomegranate tree. The other, a small blue bundle of forget-me-nots, she clutched loosely in one hand as, with world-weary eyes, she searched for another, smaller grave.

It didn't take long for her to find what she was looking for. She'd tread the route to this particular sapling many times before. Kneeling before it, she placed a hand on the young bark and smiled a sad sort of smile.

"So it's true what they say, mon."

Helena rarely if ever saw anyone in the sacred groves these days. She looked sharply up at Calypso, demanding to know why he was there without posing the question in so many words.

"And what exactly do they say, sir?" she asked, her tone icy.

"That this place is a graveyard. Pretty for a graveyard," he observed, keeping a safe distance from the Queen and the various swords strapped to her person. "Though I'd heard it was once even more beautiful."

Helena settled herself into a half lotus position in front of the small sapling, reaching forward to place the forget-me-nots at the root of the tree. Another dying bouquet from the day before rested there. This she took up and laid aside in one ritual motion. She would pick it up to take with her when she left to begin the day.

"The trees here are normally in blossom all year round," Helena informed him. "But they haven't born blossom or fruit for almost two years now." A smirk teased her lips as she glanced back at him. "A certain Queen went out of her way to anger the gods. I believe her ancestors may be demonstrating their disapproval."

"Does that tree belong to the young prince?" Calypso asked, motioning to the sapling before her. "The one you lost?"

Helena reached forward to fiddle with the knot of a worn black bandana that had been tied about the trunk. She didn't answer Calypso, nor did she speak until she'd tightened the knot to her liking.

"Why are you here?" she asked in a dull voice. "You are interrupting my morning meditation."

"I came because I wanted to speak to you before you come to court today, mon," he informed her quietly. "I want you to know that I told the others that you'd finished the shroud last night."

"Not that I've been lying to them?"

"I'm sure many suspect it, but at the very least they do not have a confirmation, mon. Your integrity remains intact."

Helena snorted. Integrity? If she felt like she had any of that any more, she would have driven all of the suitors out ages ago. It wasn't like any of them stood a chance of winning her hand anyway.

Calypso made to leave the grove, and Helena almost let him go without saying a word. But then, he'd spoken of her integrity. It made her miss the woman she used to be:

"Mr. Calypso," she said quietly as he passed her, and he paused. "Thank you, truly."

A smile spread across his charming face. "It weren't no matter, mon," he replied, and he kept walking.

Helena watched him go for a moment before she turned back to the grave before her. Though almost two years had passed, looking at it still made her heart ache. Her fingers brushed a bronze plaque at its base, near the flowers she had just placed:

 _In Memory of Prince Telemachus du Helena et Zoro of the Line of Prometheus_

Kissing the tips of her fingers, she planted the kiss at the heart of the tree before settling back into her half lotus position. There was a time when she used to bow to a statue of Athena before her daily meditation, but she forwent such a ritual now. Allowing her eyes to fall shut, she let the rustling whisper of the trees wash through her, bringing with it a sense of peace and communion with the dead.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the Queen, Roronoa Zoro also sat cross-legged in mediation only a few miles away. With his face toward the ocean and the rising sun, he let the familiar sound of the ocean's waves cleanse his emotions. He knew he needed to face the coming day with a clean slate, or he might do something he'd regret. – like visit Helena.

There were certain things Zoro didn't talk about, not even to himself if he could help it. One of those things was his love for the woman he had married here ages ago. It had been hard enough to leave her the first time, and he knew that if he saw her again he ran the risk of giving up everything he had worked for for the past two years. Helena wouldn't want that.

He couldn't help but wonder about her now, though. She had barely been coronated when he'd left her. He'd had no doubts as to her ability to rule, but how had her first few years as queen gone? Had she changed much? Would she still want him back when the adventure was done?

Images of her briefly flashed unbidden behind his eyelids: her smile, her swords, her scars. He opened his eyes to try to shake her from his mind. He'd have to start his meditation over again.

Of course, it would help if the stupid Ghost Girl weren't hovering over him. Her upside down face and pigtails were the first thing he saw.

"Holo holo holo holo," she giggled as he recoiled away from her.

"Would you stop doing that?" he growled. She ignored him.

"I know something you don't know," she sing-songed, flipping herself right-side up.

"Do I look like I care?" he asked peevishly.

"You should," she trilled obnoxiously. "I know where we need to go to save King Goosey."

"Great…" Zoro started with little enthusiasm.

"And your wife thinks you're dead."

"WHAT?"

Perona was the type of person to take delight in other people's misery. Her expression turned positively euphoric as she went on: "She thinks you're dead, and she's taken on a lover," she simpered.

"HONK?!"

Zoro hadn't realized Cygnus was awake and listening to the conversation. The goose looked about as shocked as Zoro felt.

"HONK honk honk honk honk! HONK HONK!" Cygnus started pacing along the beach, his wings balled into some semblance of fists. Zoro could practically hear him saying: " _I raised her better than this! What is she thinking?"_

 _So you didn't know anything about that either, huh?_ He thought.

"In fact, there's a whole army of suitors camped out in her throne room," Perona went on, giggling.

"Is this true?" Zoro asked Cygnus.

The goose king turned to him, sighed, and nodded.

"Soooooo," Perona asked, swirling around Zoro in delight. "Are we going to go storm the castle and take back what's yours? Give your wife a good proper spanking?"

Zoro raised a brow at this, then smirked. "No," he said definitively.

Perona ceased in her happy, weightless dance to stare at him. Cygnus looked equally surprised.

"If Helena's taken a lover or wants to entertain suitors, what's it to me?" Zoro pointed out. "She's not being untrue. As you said, she thinks I'm dead."

"Yeah, but, you're _not_ ," Perona insisted. "Shouldn't you let her know?"

"I will," Zoro replied. "When the Straw Hats make a comeback, she'll know I'm alive. Or Cygnus can tell her when we've left. After that it's up to her how to proceed. Knowing her sense of honor, I don't really have anything to worry about. And anyway, why embarrass her?"

Zoro felt perfectly satisfied with this answer. Cygnus and Perona seemed surprised, but then, the decision wasn't up to them, was it?

* * *

After a meager breakfast, it wasn't long before the party of three had started off again. This time, Perona insisted on being carried so she could float above them and serve as their guide. Zoro grumblingly agreed to lug her around on his back, internally acknowledging that the ghost girl would probably get them wherever they needed to go faster than Cygnus would.

Speaking of the king, he still looked furious about the morning's revelation. Stomping about as much as a goose could, with his beak and neck extended low to the ground, looking straight and sharp like a javelin, he wasn't doing much to hide his frustration.

They'd walked in silence for most of the way. Well, Cygnus had let out a grumbled little honk every now and then, but Zoro finally decided to make conversation:

"You do realize Perona has got to be making that part up, right?"

Cygnus looked up at him quizzically.

"Look, Perona's really not the most reliable source of gossip. She likes to embellish for the sake of making things sound more miserable," Zoro explained. "You and I both know that Helena wouldn't risk the legitimacy of the throne by taking on a lover. She loves Ilium too much for that."

Cygnus' posture became decidedly less rigid as he pondered this. His expression cleared after a moment's thought, then he nodded to Zoro and gave a decidedly more positive sounding, "Honk."

"Right?" Zoro replied, cracking a bit of a smile. "The suitor thing I can believe, if she really thinks I'm dead." Cygnus nodded to confirm. "But a lover? Helena's too honorable for that…"

* * *

Now bathed and dressed for the day, Helena sat at her vanity mirror and made a face at herself as she applied the last of her make up. Not that she had gussied herself up too much – she didn't want to give those rotten suitors any ideas.

No servants helped her as alone she styled her tastefully cropped hair. Only a select few people were allowed in her room these days. Anyway, it wasn't like she wasn't capable of dressing and grooming herself.

Satisfied with her hair, she placed the comb back on her vanity. Her eyes lingered for barely a moment on a crystalline bowl of water sitting on her vanity countertop. A live lotus blossom floated therein, but the gift did not make her majesty smile.

Taking a white porcelain crown from a special, velvet lined box, she placed it carefully on her brow. Its gracefully carved laurel leaf motif was almost lost in her whitening hair. It curled around her forehead over an orange tourmaline charm in the form of small sun, which glittered like faceted gold in the morning light.

A blur of motion out of the corner of her eye made her turn sharply away from her morning ablutions. Drawing a rapier from the sheath hanging on the back of her chair, she whirled toward the ornate French doors leading out to her balcony. Through their windows she could see the figure of a man just swinging over her marble balcony railing.

"Halt or I run you through," she said, standing with sword at the ready. "Don't you set one foot in this room."

"It's just me, your Royal Loveliness," a familiar voice called.

She lowered the blade. "Paris," she said, unlatching the door. Her eyes lingered a moment on a broken pane. It had been that way for a few years, but she had expressly left it unfixed. She pushed it out of her mind: "Paris, what were you thinking, climbing up here in broad daylight? What if you had been seen?"

"I had to see you again," he said, a little breathless from the climb. He flipped his pretty chestnut brown hair from his eyes and straightened his uniform – a white tunic with two rows of gold buttons, dark slacks, a snappy red cape. As an archer he wore a large wooden bow across his back, but his quiver held swords, not arrows.

"Idiot," she said, not unfondly. Casting her eyes about quickly to see if anyone were watching, she grabbed him by his tunic and pulled him roughly inside. Then she drew the curtains.

* * *

Helena could have been more careful. Someone _had_ in fact been watching. From the palace gardens, Calypso caught sight of Paris climbing to her balcony. Hiding behind a convenient pillar, he watched as the Queen furtively pulled the handsome young man into her bedchamber.

Calypso shook his head slowly to himself. So her majesty had resisted the suitors because she already had a paramour! This new discovery didn't deter him so much as make him grin.

"Oh, it is on, mon," he chortled, and walked with determined step back to the palace.


	4. Chapter 4 - Chit Chat

Note from the Author: Chitty chitty chat chat chitty chat chat! - sorry this chapter is mostly dialogue. So much information and so many characters I am trying to juggle here. I promise there will be more action in the next chapter.

I am trying to keep the chapters shorter, which is another reason I didn't hit action like I wanted to. Iliad had such a wide range in word count per upload. I really want to keep it between 3000 and 5000 words per chapter. It looks like if I do that I may be able to update at least every other week.

Fun fact: the character Sirena may or may not be based on the fantastic Kate Rusby. I honestly don't know much about her, other than that I love her music, so I don't claim a similar personality or situation. But if Oda can have celebrity lookalikes, so can I!

A Guest Reviewer (Are you Not-a-Fanatic-Just-a-Fan? What happened to your login? I left reviews on one of your stories!) asked a very good question about the Pomegranate Groves. - Do they actually eat the fruit, and wouldn't that be kind of gross? I figure they use the juice to make special ceremonial wine. Good question. (and remember, their bodies don't turn into the trees, their bodies are taken to Elysium. The pomegranate is more like a memento, and Hades' calling card. So if they do drink the wine, it really wouldn't be that gross would it? Still kinda creepy I guess, I dunno.)

* * *

Ch. 4 – Chit Chat

Hidden in the darkened cabin of a navy warship, a large man sat in shadow, impatiently drumming blue, draconian fingers against the table before him. The tap tap tap of sharp, untrimmed finger-nails on wood echoed around the cabin, making the young cadet standing across the table from him sweat bullets beneath her white marine baseball cap.

"Run that by me again-ain,"the shadowed figure hissed. To anyone unfamiliar with the man, they might have thought two people spoke in tandem, the one voice just out of sync with the other. "Circe said _what-at_ exactly-ly?"

The underling gulped. "Um," she squeaked. "Captain Circe said that King Cygnus de Leda has gone missing, Vice Admiral Regent, sir."

The draconian hand gripped at the wood, sending a screech around the room as it tore up 5 perfect curlicue wood-shavings from the tabletop. "I generally consider myself a patient man-an," he informed the cadet sniveling before him, "Except when I'm hungry-y. Tell your captain-ain that I want that goose on a plate by nightfall-all, or it is SHE-E who I'll be having for dinner-er."

"Yes, sir. I'll tell Captain Circe, sir," the cadet squeaked. She saluted and beat a hasty retreat.

"Why must I deal with such ineptitude-ude," the man called Regent grumbled to himself, leaning forward to rub the ache out of one of his foreheads. In so doing, his faces caught what little dawnlight filtered through one of the room's portholes, revealing that the man had what appeared to be two heads. – Or rather, one head that had been split almost completely in half. Where the split ran through the middle of his face, it had grown back into two mal-formed faces, the middle halves crooked and covered in flaky patches of reptilian blue scales. The split came to a stop just below his mouth, the two head lobes connecting at the chin, so that the heads balanced on his meaty shoulders like some giant, horrific valentine's heart.

"Tell me about it," a pompous voice said, its owner swaggering into the room without otherwise announcing himself. "Did you know that our allies, the princes all actually believed that Queen Helena had been knitting a funeral shroud for her late husband for nearly two years? I doubt any of those sprauncies carry an ounce of common sense between them."

"Mr. Bags-ags," Regent hissed, his two out of sync mouths forming their own echo. "What-at are you doing aboard my ship-ip?"

"Well, I came to ask a little favor of you, like it's my job," Mr. Bags replied, puffing a few bubbles out of his pipe. "You see, I'm still trying to confirm my theory…"

"You still actually think that the Queen-een has hidden Roronoa Zoro-ro on the island-and for this long-ong?" Regent asked, raising one of his four purple eyebrows dubiously. "If I didn't know any better-etter, I'd say you're as naïve-ive as those Princes, Bags-ags. Roronoa is dead-ead."

"Yes, well. That's what we told Her Majesty, and the rest of the world, like it's our job," Mr. Bags replied nonchalantly, seating himself across from the Vice Admiral with no trepidation. He was apparently used to the man's ghoulish appearance. "It has certainly made Ilium more vulnerable, wouldn't you say?"

"What-at? His death hasn't been confirmed-irmed?"

"Not a bit of it," Bags smiled as Regent balked at this revelation. "Though if I tell the truth like it's my job, I have to admit that his death seems _likely_. After all, when Kuma sent him flying he'd just lost a fight with Admiral Kizaru. But even before fighting the Admiral, reports say that he was heavily injured, and mysteriously so. Anyway, he and the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates, aside from the Captain, have not been seen in almost two years."

"Yet you have your doubts-oubts."

"Well, one can't be too careful." Bags shrugged his portly shoulders. "For this little coup to go according to plan, you must not overlook anyone who might have access to the God powers, correct? You wouldn't want to make that mistake again, would you?"

Bags pointedly looked the Vice Admiral up and down. Regent growled in retaliation, baring the fangs lining both his mouths.

"Anyway, I've been hearing rumors of late that her majesty has someone sharing her bed," Bags puffed a few more pensive bubbles from his pipe. "I know the Queen like it's my job – known her since she was a child; she's not likely to bed anyone but her husband. Even after all she's been through, she's more honorable than she gives herself credit."

"I really don't care-are," Regent snarled. "So long as King Cygnus-nus ends up on my dinner plate-ate, I'll be satisfied-ied."

"Well, let me just check for Roronoa like it's my job, and once we're sure he's not around we can follow through, eh?"

"We don't have much time-ime," Regent pointed out. "If we are to make our move-ove, it must be during the City of Dionysus Festival tonight-ight."

"Yes, well, remember to keep it quick and clean, or you'll be facing down another mask like it's your job, hmm? We've been working on this for two years; it would be a shame to flub it all up now," Bags told him. "And remember to kill the queen before you roast your bird, eh? It'll be easier to deal with an immortal goose than an immortal swordswoman. Hmm, I wonder what an immortal goose would taste like. Would it reform in your belly or…?"

"I still don't believe-ieve what you say about the royals becoming immortal here-ere."

"Only if they're the last surviving heir," Bags replied. "I've been liaison with this country for years like it's my job, Regent. Believe me, I know it better than my own home town. But back to the point, if Roronoa is here there is going to be trouble."

"What do you suggest-est we do-oo?"

"Well, I have intel that a certain marine vessel is passing by this area today; in fact, they'll be near enough to contact by snail within the hour," Bags informed him, smiling beneath his mustache. "The Captain is one of the youngest on record, and possesses extraordinary skill with Observation Haki. Not only that, but I have it on secret intelligence like it's my job that he happens to _know_ Roronoa Zoro personally."

"I'm listening-ing," Regent said, his ten knobbly fingers forming a tent as he gazed over them through four eyes, two human hazel, two crooked and lizard-yellow.

"Well it's come to my attention, like it's my job, that you're sending a party of marines disguised as suitors to the Queen today in preparation for the coup, is that right?" Bags went on. Regent nodded his two head lobes, not questioning how the ex-Rear Admiral seemed to know his plans. "Send this Captain in with them. Tell him to search the castle with his skill while the others try to take on the Queen's Challenge. Have him report back his findings."

"And do I debrief this young Captain-ain on our plans-ans?"

"That is up to you, sir," Mr. Bags replied, lifting his portly girth out of the chair and stretching his chubby limbs. "I warn you, he is of the more honorable sort. He stood up to Akainu after the War of the Best. Nearly got himself fried. He's not afraid to contradict authority, even at risk of his life."

"Ah, so _he's-e's_ the one you're talking about-out," Regent replied. "Yes, I remember him-im. They made him-im a captain-ain?"

"He's loyal, strong, and ambitious. Aside from that little hiccup, we haven't had any trouble with him," Bags informed him. "Besides; better to send in someone more honorable than you or I to scope this out. He's got the bearings of someone trustworthy after all."

"I see-ee…" Regent murmured, stroking his scaly chin. "Well, I'll just make sure he understands our plans-ans from the proper perspective-ive. After all, Ilium is a dangerous country-try, and an unstable ally-ly. Crushing her is in everyone's best interest-est."

"Oh, indeed," Bags replied with a nod. He turned to leave, then added over his shoulder. "Just be sure to leave out the part about your grudge match with the king, hmm? I'm not sure he'll understand like it's his job."

"It _IS_ -s his job-ob," Regent pointed out with a snarl.

"You'd think that would mean more to some people," Bags shrugged.

* * *

"Why Blue! I haven't seen you here at Homer's in a while. You here for a drink?"

"It's a bit early to be drinking, mon," Calypso Blue replied, seating himself at the bar. "I'm just here to grab breakfast. The usual, Sirena."

"Still won't take advantage of the free food at the palace, huh?" Sirena asked, sliding him a glass of water before calling his order to the back.

The barmaid was in the prime of her life but had a prettish, youthful sort of demeanor. Her hair circled her oval face in a well-kempt bouquet of curls, dark hickory brown but for a few golden ringlets here and there within the hurly-burly. A wreath of white satin rosebuds rested in her hair, but otherwise comfort was obviously more important to her than style: she sported a plain white tank and baggy blue jeans under her dark green serving apron.

"The Chef there's pretty good I hear," she went on. She spoke in pleasant, smooth tones that brought to mind green patchwork fields and purple moors, "Chef Bettah. – he's Bettah than old Feta…"

"The Chef who used to work there?" Calypso chuckled. He'd caught the tumbler of water she'd slid to him and swilled it thoughtfully, listening to the ice clink invitingly against the glass. "Is it true that he rode off with an army of giant mice, mon?"

"I saw it myself! What an odd man," Sirena laughed. "No one misses his cooking, that's for sure. Then again, none of the suitors would be bothering Her Majesty if Feta were still around. His food was enough to drive anyone away."

"Maybe that's why King Cygnus hired him on, mon," Calypso pointed out.

"Anyway, they have to treat you at the palace, so long as you're pursuing her Majesty's hand," Sirena reminded him. "You're her guest after all; the Sun Queen can't afford to go offending people these days."

"You know I can't stand the way those Princes act, mon. None of them are even trying to win her challenge anymore," Calypso shook his head, brow furrowed.

A dinging bell in the back let Sirena know the food was ready. She turned to retrieve it as Calypso went on:

"They know they can't win so they're just trying to wear Her Majesty down, hoping she'll pick one of them out of desperation."

Sirena turned back and set the plate before him in time to see him straighten up and puff out his chest a bit:

"I refuse to act like them, mon!"

Sirena chuckled at his bravado. "Hmm, well, if you're so noble, why do you keep hanging out with the rest of the royal rabble?" She flicked her head, moving a brown curl from her dark eyes. "Seems to me you're no different from the rest of them, even if you're not a mooch."

"Queen Helena is an admirable woman," Calypso replied, shrugging. "The way I see it, she needs a friend among all those losers, mon."

"Aww, so you're trying to win her over like that, eh?" Sirena smiled. "That's actually kinda sweet."

"It won't work though," a tenor voice cut in. Calypso turned to see the barstool next to him suddenly occupied by a man with a sleepy sort of face surrounded by a wild tangle of unkempt hair. He lazily strummed a chord on the lute lying across his lap. "You still haven't figured out how to cut through those axes, Blue?" He yawned.

"Not with a machete in my mouth, mon!" Calypso laughed. "I'd like to see you try it, Orpheus."

"Me? I'm just a singer who waits tables on the side," Orpheus replied, strumming another chord before yawning again. "What would I know about swordsmanship?"

"It was rhetorical, mon," Calypso said, looking at the musician dubiously. "Though I've noticed a lot of Helena's citizens seem to know a thing or two about the blade; even the non-soldiers."

"Well, a few years ago, they were all trying to win Her Majesty's hand, weren't they? This one included," Sirena pointed out, grabbing Orpheus playfully by the ear. He batted her away.

"I didn't try _that_ hard," he insisted, and Sirena planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I feel bad for anyone who tries to take over this country," Sirena said proudly. "Our soldiers are well trained, but even we civilians could do some damage if we had to. Ilium's been living on the brink of war for centuries after all."

"Yeah, we can do some damage all right," Orpheus said with a yawn, "Tell that to all the people who died when Nemo set a bunch of monsters loose in the city."

"Hey, we were taken by surprise, we were!" Sirena insisted. "The people who died were caught with their drawers down is all. Anyway, we learned from our mistake, didn't we? We're a force to be reckoned with I tell you. Helena and her armies aren't the only powers around here."

She bared her fists and looked anything but threatening, making the men laugh. If some of the civilians had a bit of training, Sirena definitely wasn't one of them, Calypso noticed. She made her fists with her thumbs on the inside, a sure way to break them when throwing a punch.

"Not to mention those God Powers I keep hearing about, mon," Calypso went on casually, "Are they really as incredible as they say?"

"Yes, provided the gods'll even serve Helena the Heretic anymore," Orpheus drawled with another yawn, only to be smacked upside the head by Sirena.

"Don't call her that!"

"What? It's the truth! That's what she is!" Orpheus insisted. "Everyone calls her that these days."

"Yes, but we're her friends," Sirena scolded. "And some of us still think of the miracle she performed on our behalf as the Sun Queen. – anyway, the Gods will always come to the royal family's aid. She's not the first to make them angry."

"She is the first on record to declare war on one of them…"

"That's enough," Sirena snapped. "You're talking about her like she's some distant political figure. She's not."

"She is these days."

"But we _know_ her," Sirena insisted.

" _Knew_ ," Orpheus insisted back.

"I admit, that's one of the reasons I came here this morning, mon," Calypso interrupted. "I just discovered that competition for Her Majesty's affections is steeper than I realized…"

"What, is there someone who actually has the queen's heart?" Sirena asked, clapping her hands in excitement. "Goody! Do tell."

"I'm not going to say, mon," Calypso replied, ignoring Sirena as her lip immediately pouted into a puppy face. "I just came because you were her friends. I need your advice."

"Ha! You want to win her over, cut through the axes," Orpheus said flatly, yawning again. "There's no other way to do it."

"That's not true," Sirena spluttered. "We watched Helena fall in love in this very pub. Isn't that right, Homer?" She called the last bit to the chef and owner in the back room. He didn't stop his work longer than to wave cheerily without turning to them. A pair of dark glasses over his eyes indicated that he couldn't use them, but he managed to navigate his way around the kitchen with apparent ease.

Orpheus burst out laughing. "You're not talking about Troy are you?"

"That's precisely who I'm talking about," Sirena said, pinning him with a glare.

"Listen, Blue. You've got to meet her on her terms or she won't accept you." Orpheus sat up as he spoke, setting aside his lute and facing Calypso with his expression finally serious. "We told you about her old flame, Troy. He did everything a guy could do for a girl like her, but she wouldn't accept him unless he could defeat her in a duel."

"Turned out he was kind of a psychopath," Sirena added with a shrug.

"Well, true," Orpheus snickered with a nod, stifling the impending yawn this time.

"We do know how Troy got her to fall for him, though," Sirena went on. "See, he brought her here. He got her to dance."

"That's true. Helena the Heretic loooves to dance."

Sirena smacked Orpheus on the back of the head again. "I told you not to call her that."

"Hmm," Calypso stroked his goateed chin pensively. "She doesn't seem like one who likes to dance, mon. She's so, so…"

"Snippy?" Orpheus supplied, ignoring Sirena's ensuing glare.

"That," Calypso agreed. "But she's also so…"

"Serious," Sirena put in.

Calypso nodded. "Yes, but I guess I can't imagine her dancing because she's so…"

"Surly?"

"Stressed?"

"Sad," Calypso said decisively at last. "Dance seems like something people do when they are, you know, _happy,_ mon."

"She seems more angry than sad if you ask me…" Orpheus put in, the words mostly lost in a yawn, but Sirena spoke over him:

"It's also something people do to try and make themselves feel better," she suggested brightly as she started to untie her apron. She went on to excuse herself, "We're on in a few minutes, Orpheus. Mind you tune up before we start."

"Yeah, yeah," Orpheus drawled. "Knock 'em dead as always, Sirena," he added, smacking her smartly in the backside as she walked past.

Calypso pinned him with a glare.

"What? She's my wife!" Orpheus defended.

Calypso didn't back down, and finally Orpheus had to look away.

"So if you want to get the Queen to dance you could have consulted the royal dance masters, but they're out at sea picking up the latest dances from neighboring kingdoms," the sleepy musician said, bluntly returning to the old subject. "Now _there's_ a cute couple. They had a baby a few months ago, did I tell you?"

Calypso shook his head, though it seemed more of an outward demonstration of some private internal dialogue, rather than a response to the question.

"Of course, the very _loyal_ but _lonely_ party planner at the palace, Nysa could probably help you arrange something. Get a nice ball going," he rambled purposefully. "If you really want to get romantic, talk to old _widow_ Diddy, the Queen's fashion designer. Every girl likes to put on a pretty dress and dance you know…"

"I'm really not interested in getting the queen to dance, mon," Calypso told him sharply. The conversation was starting to get on his nerves.

"What, really?" Orpheus asked, a look of mild surprise lifting the eyebrows on his sleepy features. "You came all the way out here for nothing then. I don't think we've got anything more for you, sorry."

"No, mon," Calypso replied with a handsome grin. "You've both helped immensely. But it's as you said, her first flame didn't fully win her over did he? I don't want to court her the way _he_ did."

"I don't follow…" Orpheus started.

"Troy didn't win her in the end, did he?"

Orpheus' sleepy eyes finally opened all the way in an expression of shocked understanding. "You mean…?"

"That's right, mon," Calypso said chipperly. "If I want the queen to wife I have to behave like her husband, hm?"

* * *

"I don't like this," Captain Coby murmured aloud for the umpteenth time that morning as they made their way through the main street at the center of Ilium toward the palace. They trailed behind a small regiment of other marines, all decked out and looking slightly ridiculous in their royal disguises. "Regent is a Vice Admiral. He should have command of Observation Haki. Why doesn't he go in and do this himself?"

"Do the big wigs ever go in to do menial projects like this, Captain Coby-San?" his companion, Helmeppo pointed out.

Though they had a decent amount of distance between them and the other 'suitors,' and though the streets were pretty loud and busy that morning, they made sure to keep their voices down so as not to be overheard.

"No need to be so formal," Coby reminded him. Vice-Captain Helmeppo had this weird habit of using his title instead of his name these days. – ever since they had been promoted. Maybe it was because he liked being called Vice-Captain in return. "And what you say would make sense, except they called us off of our own official business to go do this. Something doesn't add up."

"Well, he kind of draws the eye, right? Maybe he just doesn't want to draw attention to himself, what with that pair of heads and all." Helmeppo went on to nudge him in the ribs. "Anyway, you should take it as a compliment, you prodigy, you."

Coby flushed a bit at the praise and couldn't help a grin, but it quickly faded. "And then there's this thing about going in in disguise." Coby eyed his fancy waist-coat and tailored slacks uneasily. Helmeppo had been more than willing to don a crown and pumpkin pants, but something about it had Coby's nerves on edge. "I was tempted to tell him I'd go in as a marine or not at all."

"That guys is pretty scary. When you even _suggested_ not going in disguise, he looked like he would have you for lunch," Helmeppo reminded him with a shiver. "Hey, look on the bright side. It's not every day that we get to go undercover…"

"We go undercover all the time, Helmeppo-San. As marine inspectors."

"It's not every day we get to go undercover as _Princes_ to infiltrate a deadly enemy kingdom," Helmeppo went on, slightly miffed. "Come on, Coby. Can't we just try to enjoy ourselves?"

"You're looking forward to competing for the Queen's hand, aren't you?" Coby asked, shooting his friend a sly grin.

"Hey, I could win you know!"

"I suppose…"

"What's the hesitation there?" Helmeppo demanded. "Come on, show some confidence in your friend, eh?"

"Well, think about who she was married to _before_ ," Coby pointed out. "The test she set up is supposed to pit you against _him._ "

"Yeah, well, Zoro's dead so…"

Coby's usually sunny countenance immediately turned. "Don't say that. I refused to believe it then, and I refuse to believe it now."

"They obviously don't believe he's dead or they wouldn't be sending us in would they?"

"That does give me hope," Coby smiled again. "That's the one good thing I can see in all this. If I go in there, I can prove my theory. Luffy-san is still alive, so Zoro-san must be too."

"You have no problem with setting his wife up for assassination, then?" Helmeppo asked.

Coby sighed. Before he could respond, Helmeppo went on:

"And let's just pause for a moment to dwell on that particular revelation. Can you believe that Zoro was actually married?"

" _Is_ married," Coby corrected. "Now that I think about it, I remember it being big news that Queen Helena of Ilium had finally found a husband – it made the front page even – but they never said who it was."

Coby hadn't paid much mind to it then, but now that he recalled, he remembered seeing the Queen in her wedding clothes on the front cover. She'd worn a kimono, not the typical wedding dress one would expect. He smiled to himself: Zoro had probably liked that.

"I guess the Government didn't want it getting out that a famous Pirate had beaten them at their attempts at Ilium's throne. The fact that this island even exists outside their jurisdiction can't sit well with them."

"Ilium's dangerous, Coby," Helmeppo reminded him. "They have the power to destroy the world. Remember what Vice-Admiral Regent said."

"Yes, but if they have that kind of power, why haven't they done it yet?" Coby pointed out. "So far as I've seen, this country does not behave as a threat. In fact…" he trailed off uncomfortably.

"What?" Helmeppo prodded

"Well, I've noticed that the government has a good deal to gain by taking over: namely the sea prism…"

Helmeppo nodded. "So I reiterate my earlier question: are you really ok with setting this country and its Queen up for a fall?" Helmeppo asked. "For that matter, are you ok with setting _Zoro_ up for a fall?"

"Zoro's a pirate and we're marines," Coby reminded him. "We may be friends, but we're enemies."

"But it's just so sneaky and underhanded," Helmeppo egged, wiggling his blonde brows behind his sunglasses. "And anyway, his Queen isn't a pirate, is she?"

Coby knew that Helmeppo wasn't about to admit that he himself was bothered by the orders they had been given. He was obviously enjoying Coby's discomfort, though, and taking full advantage of the chance to play shoulder-angel. Coby knew he deserved it; whenever Helmeppo wanted to bend the rules, it was always Coby who was reminding him where they stood. The tables had turned now, and the Vice-Captain couldn't help but rub it in.

"It was a direct order…" Coby started stiffly.

"Like that's ever stopped you before," Helmeppo said with a snort.

"Let's just scope things out, ok," Coby reasoned. "Make sure we're on the right side of all of this."

"No complaints here," Helmeppo replied, straightening out his wasp-waisted overcoat and putting a monocle to his eye. They had just arrived at the palace's imposing front steps, and Helmeppo took on a pompous tone. "Let's have a look at this Queen, shall we Prince Cobalt?"

Coby smiled despite himself. "Indeed Prince Helmetus, indeed."


	5. Chapter 5 - Moo

Note from the Author: I should just stop making any promises to my readers whatsoever, eh? This took me three weeks to write. At least it's a long update...right?

Sorry again that I can't seem to help introducing new characters. One Piece OCs are just so fun to create. I give Dragoscilvio credit for helping me brainstorm Cassandra's bundle of character quirks. I ended up using a lot of her ideas.

* * *

Ch. 5 – Moo

"Cows," Zoro observed, staring at the grazing herd before him.

" _Lots_ of cows," Perona added, grinning malevolently.

"Lunch!" They both cried together, raising their weapons of choice with hungry gusto.

"HONK!"

Before they could launch slash or ghost, respectively, Cygnus jumped onto the wooden fence separating them from the enormous field of cattle. He waved his wings and honked emphatically at the two pirates, who made woebegone faces in response.

"Aw, come on, King Goosey," Perona whined. "We are pirates after all. We pillage. It's a thing."

"Anyway, we've got to get a decent meal sometime." Zoro's stomach growled right on cue, emphasizing his point. "If this is about the fire thing…"

"HONK!" Cygnus cried, interrupting him. He pointed to the cattle, saluted, and marched in place on the fence post.

Zoro and Perona exchanged a bemused glance.

"Do you understand him?" Perona asked.

"Nope," Zoro said with a shrug. "Come on."

The pirates hopped the fence, bypassing Cygnus without a second glance. They approached their prey cautiously, crouched and prepared for a fight. Especially when Perona pointed out:

"These cows don't have udders."

"Bulls," Zoro grunted, swords at the ready. "Careful. They're more aggressive."

"Do I look stupid?" Perona asked, ghosts swirling around her hands.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Zoro retorted, smirking.

Perona stuck her tongue out at him, but her expression quickly became focused as she turned back to the huddle of bulls before her. A moment passed in silence, broken only by the lowing of the unsuspecting cattle. Then, yelling together in unison, the pirates launched themselves at their respective targets.

To their surprise, the bulls had more flight than fight in them. They charged away in fear, mooing blue murder to anyone who would listen. Still determined to have beef for breakfast, Zoro and Perona gave chase only to stop short as each found his or her path suddenly impeded.

Zoro's particular impediment was none other than his father-in-law, who flew down in front of him, honking and hissing, and completely blocking his vision. Perona ground to a halt for a much fluffier reason: a small, brown bunny rabbit. The little cotton tail waved its arms frantically at her, only to be scooped unwillingly into the Ghost Princess' arms a moment later.

"You are so cute!" she squealed, rubbing her face into his soft fur.

"Hmm, I suppose rabbit tastes ok too," Zoro started, wrist twitching antsily with katana in hand.

"Don't you dare!" Perona snarled, cuddling the squirming ball of fluff protectively to her as Cygnus launched another pecking attack at Zoro's kneecaps.

"GOOSE IS DELICIOUS!" Zoro reminded him, but it did nothing to deter the king. Grabbing Zoro by the nose with his webbed toes, Cygnus pulled him down to eye level so he could glare at his son-in-law eye to eye.

"Alright, alright!" Zoro snapped, sheathing his swords. "What's your problem?"

Zoro rubbed his sore nose and watched the king waddle away from him with his beak struck haughtily in the air. It was then that Zoro noticed the cattle behaving strangely. At a few honks from Cygnus, they formed obvious lines, no, ranks! Taking a knee, each cow bowed to the avian king, and Zoro finally understood.

"These aren't cows…" he started.

"Yeah, they're bulls. We already established that," Perona ceased her cuddling to snark back. It gave the rabbit a chance to escape, which he did with a will. He found a handy twig and raised it at Perona threateningly from a safe distance.

"No, I mean, these are soldiers!" Zoro pointed out, waving an arm at the kneeling bovines.

Cygnus snorted, if indeed a goose could snort; he made a derisive sound anyway, but Zoro ignored him as Perona went on:

"Well, your wife did say a lot of her men had just gone missing."

"Who're you, then?" Zoro asked the rabbit. "You don't look even remotely familiar."

The rabbit flushed at being asked its identity. He attempted to hide behind his little twig spear, waving an arm dismissively as if to say his identity didn't matter. Unfortunately the twig was a dead give-away.

"Hector?!" Zoro gasped in disbelief.

The rabbit shook his head vigorously in denial just as Cygnus nodded. Zoro let out a belly laugh.

"What's so funny?" Perona asked. "He's darling!"

"Exactly! I mean, ehem, nothing. Nothing's funny." Zoro cleared his throat, trying not to laugh anymore at the man's expense. "Good to see you again, General."

The rabbit attempted a snarl that came out as a squeak, and raised the twig like a spear again, which only succeeded in making him look even more adorable. Zoro snorted, unable to completely stifle his amusement. Hector was usually as big and burly as Franky; someone obviously had a sense of humor.

"So you all got turned into animals, huh?" Zoro asked, resisting the urge to reach down and pat Hector's fluffy head. A sudden feeling of alarm shot through him when he realized: "Wait, Helena's not here too is she?"

Cygnus, Hector, and the cow soldiers all shook their heads.

"So she's not some animal? I'm not going to run into her by accident?"

They shook their heads some more and Perona let out a groan:

"Zoro, I TOLD you. She's back at the palace with her suitors and her _lover_ …"

Hector and the cows balked at the word and immediately started squeaking and mooing at Cygnus in confusion.

 _Rabbits squeak?_ –the thought passed through Zoro's mind, but he didn't dwell on it because Perona went on over the sudden din:

"Yeesh, if you're just so darn worried about her seeing your _face_ …!"

She grabbed a brown paper bag, which happened to be blowing by in the wind. Poking one sizeable eyehole out with her fingers and straightening the bag with a sharp flourish, she promptly shoved the bag over Zoro's head.

"There," She said, dusting off her hands in satisfaction. "Feel better?"

"Uh, the hole's on the wrong side," Zoro pointed out, twisting the bag so that he could see out of it with his good eye, which meant that the bag sat at an angle on his head. He tested his range of vision and found it adequate if not satisfactory. "Alright, now what?"

He turned back to Cygnus, who had a wing over his face as though he were stifling a giggle. He honked something, indicating Zoro's face, and the whole herd burst into moos of laughter.

"Yeah, yeah. Lemme guess. You just told them I look better this way," Zoro said flatly. At least the cows weren't still freaking out about the whole lover rumor. How could any of them believe that? Zoro had only known Helena personally for three weeks, and he knew her better than the people who had known her for a lifetime apparently.

Cygnus pulled a beak-full of grass, dropped it into his wings, and then plopped it on his head before dissolving into honking giggles.

"Are you seriously going on about my hair again?" Zoro snapped. "Look, this actually isn't a bad plan…"

Ok, so a paper bag maybe wasn't the most dignified option. But Perona had led them uncomfortably close to the city walls before making a sharp turn and bringing them here; the closer they had gotten, the more nervous Zoro had become. A mask was a good idea. Not that he wanted Helena to see him with a bag over his head either, but at least the bag didn't have any grease stains or weird smells.

That Perona had found such a convenient piece of litter really didn't strike anyone as strange. The field in which they stood wasn't exactly the tidiest. In fact, though it did have grass for the grazing, it resembled more of a pigsty than a meadow.

"Holo holo holo holo," Perona's unique laugh pierced above the rest. But then she went on to answer his question. "I told you, we need to go to that barn over there."

She pointed, indicating a rickety building that could probably have been classified as a barn at one time. Now it looked more like a rather large, rather ramshackle sort of shack. Peeling red paint, missing shingles, boarded up windows – clearly it had been abandoned ages ago.

But then, the litter around the field was fresh.

"There was a woman there, wearing overalls," Perona wrinkled her nose. "So not cute. – but get this, she was talking to a navy soldier guy: chewing him out for losing, 'that goose king.'"

Zoro nodded, agreeing that it sounded suspicious. Perona burst into laughter again.

"Holo holo holo holo! – Sorry. I just can't take you seriously right now," she giggled. "Ehem, so anyway, as I was watching, she reached out and turned the navy guy into a goose! Said if she couldn't find the king by sundown today, he'd be on some guy's dinner plate in the king's place."

Cygnus honked, throwing off little tufts of down as a shiver visibly passed through him from head to toe.

"Someone seriously wants to cook and eat you?" Zoro asked him, feeling slightly guilty for his own threats to turn Cygnus into dinner. Only slightly.

Hector squeaked, drawing their attention down to him. Using the twig as a stylus, he drew something in a convenient patch of mud. It looked like a peach with horns.

"Devil fruit," Zoro grunted, kneeling down for a better look. "Figures."

Hector nodded.

"Hey, speaking of, why haven't you used your powers to fight this lady?" Zoro asked the General. "Rabbit or not, I'd think you'd be more than a match for her."

The rabbit held up the twig, appeared to concentrate on it to no effect, then shrugged his shoulders.

"Your powers are locked in this form, huh? Interesting." Zoro turned his gaze to the distant barn. "Well, if it's a devil fruit we're up against, all we've got to do is knock her out, eh? Sounds simple enough."

Hector shook his head, then drew the navy seagull.

"She's a marine?"

Hector nodded and saluted.

"She's a captain?"

He nodded again.

"So what?" Zoro asked, cocking his head within the paper bag.

Before Hector could give him an answer, pantomimed or otherwise, a distant ringing pealed through the air. The rabbit squeaked in surprise, then grabbed his floppy ears and pulled them down hard as if trying to keep out the sound. The cows mooed to one another in alarm and Cygnus honked, covering his head with his wings.

Mere seconds after the bell came a voice, loud enough to be heard over the cattle's din:

" _Yodel lay eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"_

The cows and Cygnus went rigid at the awful imitation of yodeling. Not that Zoro was a connoisseur, but he was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to sound like someone falling to their death.

Regardless of how awful the sound, the animals all turned stiffly as though hypnotized, and started goose-stepping as one toward the distant barn and the yodeling voice.

Apparently Hector had successfully blocked out the sound because the Rabbit hadn't moved except to tie his ears under his chin. Hopping onto Zoro's shoulder, he thumped the swordsman once with his foot, pointing toward Cygnus with his twig spear.

" _Yodel lay heeehehehehehehehehehehehehe!"_

The mesmerized herd picked up the pace as the yodeling did (though now it sounded like a witch having a seizure). Their goose-stepping turned into a synchronized stampede. Cygnus took wing. Hector thumped Zoro's shoulder harder in desperation.

Zoro got the message and took to running beside the dangerous herd. If Cygnus was captured he was apparently going to end up as someone's dinner. But Zoro couldn't exactly cut him down from the sky without hurting him.

He'd just started to formulate a plan that involved a no swords-style dragon twister, which was sure to send a few cows airborne as collateral, but Perona solved their problem a little more simply:

"Negative Hollow!"

Cygnus' wings and head drooped as soon as the ghost passed through him. He fell from the sky into Zoro's arms. The swordsman didn't waste time; he quickly tossed his father-in-law to Perona like a football.

The ghost girl caught him in a small poof of downy feathers. "Aww, you are so much cuter when you aren't hissing and honking," she informed him, cradling him to her and smoothing the ruffled fluff on his forlorn head.

"Get him out of here!" Zoro shouted to her as he continued running.

"What are you going to do?" Perona shouted back.

Zoro took a running leap and landed squarely on the back of the largest bull there: a big, orange thing with a bushy mane. The creature was too hypnotized to try and buck him, so he got to his feet on the bull's back and crouched at the ready, flicking a katana a thumb's width out of its sheath

"I've got a date with a marine captain!" he called back through the paper bag. "Don't tell my wife!"

* * *

"Watch and learn, fellas! Watch and learn," Helmeppo shouted for all to hear before dramatically clamping down on the hilt of one of his kukri blades.

The Vice-Captain stood disguised before the queen, facing the twelve steel axes rooted into her palace floor. From her throne, she watched his antics with a bored look on her face, and didn't flinch when Helmeppo's blade made contact with the first axe, only to rebound with a loud pinging sound.

Like many of the marines and princes before him, he only succeeded in cracking his teeth. As he grasped his mouth in pain, a middle-aged woman with purple hair, a kilt, and a clipboard approached him.

"Complimentary Dental Service. This way," she said shortly, writing Helmeppo's pseudonym on her clipboard and directing him toward a door on the side.

Leaning against a wall in a covert corner of the throne room, Coby watched the proceedings, wincing on his friend's behalf. He had been trying to use the distraction of the Queen's challenge to scope out the palace with his Haki, but so far hadn't found Zoro or anything else of interest.

A man suddenly threw an arm chummily around Coby's shoulders, taking him by surprise:

"Shelfie!" he cried cheerfully.

He had what appeared to be a camera snail on a stick, which he held up to take a picture of himself, and Coby's startled face. "Welcome to the palace! Name's Paris! Where do you hail from?"

"Uh, I'm Prince Cobalt," Coby lied, rubbing the flash from his eyes. "I'm from Shell Kingdom."

"The Shell Kingdom, huh? Never heard of it. Well, except a few minutes ago that is, when I met that bloke who just tried his, uh, teeth at the axes. What was his name again…?"

"Helmetus," Coby replied. "We're from the East Blue."

"Came a long way just to sit around and watch," the man pointed out. Coby winced. Maybe they should have made up a country closer. "Are you two brothers? You don't look related, but if you come from the same kingdom…"

As they spoke, Paris took another few 'shelfies,' striking a number of poses while Coby just blinked in confusion.

"Cousins," he managed to sputter out their rehearsed backstory, still a bit confused by the flashes of light. "He's the one in line for the throne. I'm just here as moral support."

"So you're really not going to give it a go, eh?"

"Nah," Coby idly fingered the jeweled rapier that was part of his costume. He knew how to use a sword now: Garp had made sure of that. But he preferred to fight with his fists. "I know my own abilities. I'd rather leave here with all of my teeth."

Anyway, Coby really didn't feel right competing for the hand of Zoro's wife, even if the pirate really was dead. Not that he would be telling Paris that.

Paris seemed impressed by his answer. "I guess you're smarter than the rest of us."

"And who might you be?" Coby asked, trying to remain congenial as well as redirect what had started to feel like an interrogation. "If you don't mind my saying, you don't look like a royal."

"Me? Oh, Zeus, no! I'm not a prince like you fellows. I'm just one of the Queen's old admirers. I am a bit of a fanboy, though: it's exciting to meet royalty from all over the world," Paris said, posing for another 'shelfie' as he smoothed back his flop of brown hair. He took a few more pictures of himself and Coby (mostly himself) from different angles for good measure. "Anyway, there's no rule that only royalty can compete. I've been after the queen's hand for years! Long before her last husband."

"Zoro-san! Er…I mean, Roronoa Zoro. Did you know him?" Coby asked, hardly stifling his excitement.

"Oh, yes!" Paris said with a nod, "Bit of a scary guy. Saved the kingdom, though; he and his captain. Oh, and he defeated Queen Helena in a duel, twice!"

Coby smiled to himself at mention of Zoro and Luffy rescuing a kingdom, but the last part gave him pause:

"He defeated the queen in a duel?"

"Oh yeah, back then she was offering her hand to anyone who could beat her. Up until that point, no one ever had," Paris paused, then backtracked, "Well, rumor has it she lost to Dracule Mihawk, but he wasn't interested in her kingdom. – other than that though, she was undefeated until Roronoa showed up."

"She's that good, huh?" Coby asked, turning to eye the queen. He could already tell she was strong based on her aura alone. Even without using his haki he could see past her long, elegant build: the muscle tone in her arms said she was more than a pretty face. That and the well-kempt but well-used swords hanging within reach on the back of her throne. "Why doesn't she duel the suitors now?"

"Well, she's not just looking for someone as good as she is anymore, is she?" Paris pointed out. "She's looking for someone as good as _he_ was."

"Seems like she could clear the throne room that way, though…" Coby mused. "How long have some of these guys been hanging around here, anyway?"

"Geez, you sure don't act like a prince. Most of the guys here don't give two figs about that sort of thing."

Coby flushed. Weren't princes supposed to be noble? Maybe not. Drat. He knew Helmeppo would be better at this; he had once lived a pretty pampered life and knew what it was like to always have his way. That was why they decided that between the two of them, the captain would be the lesser prince.

Coby was spared further embarrassment when a loud voice rang suddenly through the hall, silencing all chatter and drawing the collective gaze toward the entrance of the throne room:

"Repent, Helena the Heretic! Repent or watch Ilium fall, dontcha-know!"

A figure cloaked in violet darkened the doorway. Hunched and hideous, the elderly woman threw back her hood to reveal a thinning, wiry bird's nest of red-gray hair. She pinned Queen Helena with a glare through a tiny pair of glasses, which kept slipping from off of her tiny bulb of a nose.

The Queen genuinely smiled for the first time that morning, which made Coby knit his brows in confusion. Wasn't the crazy woman calling her to repentance a second ago?

"Hello, Cassandra. Back again?" Helena asked cheerfully.

The prophetess waddled her way past the suitors and axes to stand before the queen. The guards followed her, carrying spears, but they didn't otherwise move to stop her.

"Got to keep trying, dontcha-know," the woman said with a grin. "You look thin, Majesty. You really should be eating more." She reached into her cloak and produced two rolls of chocolate sandwich cookies, which she tossed to Helena. "You should have six small meals a day. But watch your carbs."

"Aw, you even brought my favorite. Double stuffed," Helena chuckled, catching the gift easily.

"And don't think I've forgotten all of you," the old biddy went on, addressing the guards. She quickly handed out juice boxes, which they all accepted, grinning. "You work so hard, dontcha-know. Make sure you're drinking 8 glasses of water a day, and watch your sugar intake."

Coby couldn't figure out where the old woman could be keeping all of it, but then he caught a glimpse beneath her cloak when she went to grab a bag of fruit snacks and toss it to Paris. It turned out she didn't actually have a hunched back. She was just really short and wore a backpack beneath the cloak. A back pack of snacks, apparently.

"You're still here, you fool?" the woman called out to him. "Most of the other natives have had the sense to give up by now, dontcha-know."

"Actually, most of them were deployed," Paris murmured to Coby under his breath. "They're all soldiers and such. – and good riddance. I was having a hard time competing with that Menelaus jerk…"

Despite what he said, he seemed worried about something.

"Aren't you a soldier?" Coby asked, eyeing his uniform.

"I'm a palace guard," Paris replied proudly, striking a pose with his snack and taking another shelfie.

"Deployed where…?" Coby asked, only to forget his question when a bag of cookies came flying his way. He caught it deftly in one hand, than blinked at it in surprise.

A murmur ran through the room and Paris turned to stare at him.

"You could do to fatten up too, Prince whoever-you-are," Cassandra informed him. "Just watch out for trans-fats dontcha-know."

The cookies she'd just thrown him contained the very fats she warned against, Coby noticed. What an eccentric woman.

Coby looked up from the odd gift to see everyone in the throne room staring at him, including the Queen. Her russet eyes bored into him for a short moment, just long enough for Coby to wonder if she saw through him. A moment later she turned back to the prophetess:

"Well, go ahead, Cassandra. Let's hear it."

"Right, right," the old woman said, smiling as she pushing her glasses up her tiny nose. Her countenance turned on a dime, as with firey indignation she raised a fist at the queen:

"Repent, Queen Helena! The longer you live in sin, the more devastating the destruction!"

An angry tension super-charged the air, and the room seemed to darken as the woman went on. Yet Queen Helena looked on with a bored expression on her face, placidly munching on one of her cookies.

"Cleanse the temple or the walls of our city will be reduced to rubble, dontcha-know!" Cassandra roared, rising as high as her short stature would allow so she could attempt to glare Helena in the eyes. "Repent or Ilium _will_ fall! Your reign will end awash in the blood of your people!"

A guard just happened to finish his juicebox at that moment, and a loud slurping sound punctuated the end of Cassandra's speech. The prophetess became docile once more:

"And make sure you're getting 8 hours of sleep a night, darling. You look bushed, dontcha-know," she said. "But be sure to adhere to a sleep schedule."

Helena smiled. "Yes, thank you Cassandra. Do come back tomorrow, I enjoy our little chats."

"Give my regards to your father," Cassandra replied, turning to go.

"What, no snack for him?" Helena asked, one brow raised in amusement. "You usually ask me to give it to him for you when he's away."

"No, I wouldn't want to fatten him up too much," the prophetess said mysteriously. "Good-day, Your Majesty."

"I take it that's a daily occurrence?" Coby asked Paris when the room started to return to normal.

Before Paris could respond, a swarthy man with dreadlocks appeared out of nowhere, rounding on Coby:

"How'd you get her to give you the cookies, mon?" he demanded. "I've been trying for almost two years!"

"Calypso's right. You are the first non-Iliad suitor she's given a snack to," Paris informed Coby, grinning as he tossed some fruit snacks into his mouth.

"She doesn't give cookies to anyone unless she likes them, mon. What did you do?!"

"Nothing," Coby said, shrugging and chuckling awkwardly. "I've never even seen her before."

"Maybe it's an omen," Paris pointed out, taking a snack shelfie with Coby as he spoke. "You sure you don't want to try your teeth at the axes?"

Coby chuckled. "If I do, I won't have any teeth left to eat the cookies with."

"Fair point," Paris laughed. "I like you Prince Cobalt. You plan on sticking around?"

Coby shrugged. "I guess that depends on Helmetus. I doubt he'll want to try again." Truth be told, he and Helmeppo were going to return to their own duties as soon as he'd vetted the palace for Zoro, but he didn't want to sound like the visit was too casual, especially after he'd told them he'd travelled all the way from the East Blue. "Oh, where is the Queen going?"

Helena had just gotten to her feet, one package of unopened cookies in her hand.

"Usually she leaves after this, mon, and we don't see her for another couple of days," Calypso said. "But…Ah ha. Thought so."

Just as Helena stood, a pair of flouncy princes in ridiculously tall powdered wigs confronted her. They spoke in such piercing voices it was impossible not to overhear what they had to say:

"Your Majesty, if we may be so bold, you are finished with your husband's shroud," the first one shrilled, "We have not seen much of you in all this time we have stayed as guests within your palace, and we would like a chance at knowing our hostess better."

"Yes, yes, her highness has been most elusive," the second nodded. He had been fluttering a fan at himself, but he snapped it shut and dared to tap the Queen on the shoulder with it chummily.

Coby was pretty sure the phrase "if looks could kill" applied here. Queen Helena breathed in sharply at having her personal space so callously invaded, but the Prince in question did not back down. He poked her shoulder with the fan as she glared at him with a deeply furrowed and twitching brow:

"Of course, one would hate to believe you have been _avoiding_ us, Majesty," he said pointedly. "Naturally you wouldn't want to offend any of your neighbors and allies. Not that I mean to imply anything by that…" He gave her a sly look that really wasn't all that sly.

"Of course not, Prince Popinjay," Helena answered at last. "And I would bid you excuse me for a mere hour. I have a pressing lunch engagement…"

The two princes looked as though they were about to speak, but Helena held up a hand.

"After which time, I will return to join you," she added flatly. "Nysa," she turned to the kilted woman with the clipboard. "Please have lunch set up for these gentlemen on the garden lawn. After I return we will all amuse ourselves with a rousing game of…" she paused, eyeing the crowd before finishing the sentence with an only partially stifled grimace. "Croquet…?"

This was met with a smattering of applause, and a bunch of proper men saying things like, "Jolly good!" and "Huzzah!" and "Charmante!"

The Queen sighed, then beat a hasty retreat.

"Lunch appointment, huh?" Coby asked.

"Excuse me, gents," Paris said, stashing his shelfie stick. "Gotta go! Nature calls."

Paris disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. Calypso pursed his lips and shook his head after him:

"Could you be any more obvious, mon?" he muttered to himself.

Coby didn't bother asking him what he meant. This was the perfect opportunity to spy on the Queen! Perhaps she was going to lunch with none other than her husband!

Excusing himself to go look after his now dentally impared 'cousin,' he made his way toward the the complimentary dental care, but quickly found a quiet corner in the hallway where he could concentrate. All the while he kept his haki honed in on Helena.

He could easily sense her aura now that he recognized it. He knew Paris' as well. Calypso's though…Coby hadn't meant to notice him, but the man's aura was ridiculously powerful. –on parr with the Queen's, in fact. Perhaps even stronger than her's!

He was certainly stronger than any of the contenders in Helena's court, yet he seemed so humble and unassuming. The man had been trying to win cookies from an old lady for pity's sake! Coby was starting to wish he'd asked more about him, just to sate his curiosity. Whoever he was, he wasn't a marine, and he certainly didn't seem like a prince.

No time for that now. The Queen had paused to talk to Paris, who had definitely not left for a bathroom break. Coby couldn't overhear their conversation at this distance, but he could tell from their posture that the discussion at hand was intimate.

He flushed. Paris wasn't the Queen's lover, was he? What on earth could he be whispering in her ear about?

After spying on them long enough for them to attend to the Queen's "lunch appointment," he soon discovered one thing for relative certain: Zoro wasn't the one sharing the Queen's bed at night. Pulling out a transponder snail, he quickly made his report.

* * *

Perona was starting to grow impatient waiting around with King Cygnus. She sat under a tree in the woods near the city walls, lip pouted, arms and legs crossed with one finger tapping her bicep as she watched the goose pace nervously back and forth.

She'd sent a ghost to guide Zoro back to them ages ago. What on earth could be taking him so long?

It wasn't like she was worried about him or anything. Just annoyed. Yeah, annoyed. He should know better than to keep them waiting. Anyway, he shouldn't make his father-in-law worry. The King had started molting for pity's sake!

"For all his faults, King Goosey, you know he's actually really strong," Perona tried to reassure him. "If it's really as easy as knocking some lady out, you'll be back to yourself in no time."

Before Cygnus could reply, they both heard a distinctive giggle. Perona's ghost guide had returned. A rustle in the bushes signaled someone more corporeal accompanied it, but if Cygnus hadn't transformed back into a human, that meant Zoro hadn't succeeded, right?"

Perona jumped to her feet, summoning a few more ghosts just in case. "Get behind me your Majesty," she barked, nerves on edge. Cygnus complied.

The ghost guide she'd sent to help Zoro giggled some more.

"What are you laughing about?" Perona snapped.

Her ghost spy quickly flew toward her, nearly invisible in the midday light filtering through the trees. It alighted on her shoulder and quickly whispered something in her ear.

"WHAT?" she cried, stumbling back to trip over the goose standing behind her.

Cygnus squeaked out a honk, trying desperately to get out from underneath her. By the time he had wiggled himself free, he could see what Perona had discovered before him. He honked in dismay just as Perona cried out:

"Zoro, you idiot!"

For a surly, one-eyed, mint-green fox had just stepped through the bushes. He did not look pleased.


	6. Chapter 6 - Coby and the Fox

Ch. 6 – Coby and the Fox

The early afternoon found Coby still in the company of the queen and her suitors. He sat beneath a tree on the lawn, finally digging into those cookies Cassandra had thrown at him. After all, one shouldn't eat dessert until after the meal.

Speaking of: lunch had been fantastic. They had been served traditional fare from Helena's country: stuffed grape leaves, a layered dish called Moussaka, octopus served with pasta, tossed salads, honey and baklava. The Queen returned in time to hear her guests' compliments to the chef. No one had any complaints, but while the suitors obviously enjoyed their free meal, Coby heard Helena mutter under her breath about missing the old cook, Feta.

The game of croquet to follow proved entertaining, mostly because the Queen was so fantastically bad at it. She kept hitting the balls too hard in obvious impatience, though her eye-hand coordination was excellent. That meant she sent the other players balls flying every which way when she hit them, sometimes smacking bystanding princes in the process. – Coby was starting to wonder, by the trollish grin on her face, if she weren't playing badly on purpose.

Helmeppo had asked Coby more than once when they'd be leaving. He was still stinging (literally and metaphorically) over his failure in the throne room. Coby insisted on staying, however, because he wanted a word with the Queen. His opportunity arose when she broke a mallet in half. Declaring herself as having lost by default, she excused herself to the sidelines where a cushioned wicker throne (the grand lawn chair could be described as nothing less) sat against the trunk of an enormous, blooming laurel tree.

He had purposely planted himself in the shade of said tree hoping for an opportunity like this. Leaning against the trunk, he nonchalantly sat with his back to the throne and waited. - He waited for her to remove her swords and lay them within reach across the back of the throne, waited for the servant accompanying her to give her something cool to drink in a martini glass, waited for the servant to leave, waited for just the right moment, when they could be construed as relatively alone.

He waited too long. She spoke before he did.

"Well, Captain Coby," she said. He could hear the amusement like a soft smile in her voice. "Did you get the information you came for?"

He stiffened, no longer leaning back against the trunk that separated them.

"How did you…?"

"My Head of Palace Security is exceptionally good," she informed him. "He knew you marines were coming before you got here. –made sure to inform me early this morning. Let me guess – you're planning an assassination attempt during the festival tonight, when you think my guards and I will be too drunk to defend ourselves."

"That's…"

"Well, I can assure you, I do not get drunk," she went on darkly. "I have never been drunk in my life, and tonight doesn't seem like a good time to start."

Coby chuckled. She was good. Really good. He was kind of relieved. "If you knew about the assassination attempt, why did you let us in?"

"Simple. I'm not afraid of you," she replied, taking a sip of whatever it was she had in her martini glass. He didn't see it, but she took the olive from said glass, made a face, and flicked it onto the lawn. She chuckled. "Well, maybe if I'm honest with myself, I'm looking forward to the excitement. I haven't had a good rumble in a while. I hope your men are ready for a fight."

He glanced over his shoulder at her. While he couldn't see her directly with the chair in the way, he could see her sheathed swords. They gleamed almost cheerfully in the afternoon light, and her strong aura pulsed with a determined energy.

"But they aren't _your_ men, are they Captain?" she went on after a pause. "Yours are safely on a ship in our harbor. These marines answer to someone else. You were sent here on another mission, and your superiors know they can't expect you to stick around for something as dark and underhanded as assassination."

Coby smirked. "How do you know that?"

"Remember that man who took your picture?"

"He's your Head of Palace Security, isn't he?" Coby surmised. "I was wondering why he kept asking me such pointed questions. So is he actually competing for your hand or…?"

"We ran your face through the Navy Database," she said, pointedly ignoring the last question.

"You have access to the Navy Database?"

"Like I said. I have an extremely capable Head of Security, even if he likes to abuse that Camera Snail we gave him," she chuckled, "Please tell me he didn't call them 'shell-fies' or whatever…"

"He did."

She groaned. "Well, as I was saying, we ran you and your buddy, Helmeppo Morgan. Interesting pair, you two. He's got Daddy issues, and you're on a mission to make the marines into what they're supposed to be. Did you really stand up to Akainu during the war of the best?"

"Scariest day of my life."

Helena laughed pleasantly, stifling the sound so as not to draw attention to herself, or to him. "I can believe it," she said, then went on: "That day you unlocked something; a power called Observation Haki, in the which you are now extremely adept. I confess, we don't know much about it here in Ilium, but from the sounds of it, it would make you the ideal _spy_ now, wouldn't it?"

"Her Majesty has remarkable intuition," Coby replied noncommittally.

"The one thing I can't figure out is what you've been sent here to discover," Helena informed him. "We have been no less than transparent with you people."

"I will answer that for you," Coby said quietly. "But first I really want to know: why does the World Government want you dead? Is it really just about the Sea Prism? I was told you're dangerous to the world at large, but I just can't fathom how one tiny Island can cause such a huge government so much concern."

"So they haven't told you about the God Powers," Helena murmured in reply. "Let me just put it to you this way: Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Hades? You heard of them?"

"Sure, in myths," Coby said.

"Oh, they're real," Helena told him blandly. "This island is their homeland. Any member of the royal family has access to their powers. If we wanted to, we could wipe out the World Government simply by borrowing the mask of one of the gods."

"Then why haven't you?"

"The price is steep," Helena replied. "The powers aren't free, and an undertaking like that would require sacrifices we would never make. Of course, your people don't realize that. They desperately want to get one of their own into our family so they can use the powers for themselves. So much so that your so-called Akainu and his men killed my mother and tried to kidnap me from her womb. They tried to raze Ilium to the ground because Father and Mother refused to betroth me to one of your Celestial Dragons."

"They kidnapped you as a baby?" Coby spluttered. He wanted to tell himself that was outside the scope of what the World Government would ever do. But he had seen the corruption in the system up close and personal. And Akainu? – he would do anything in the name of justice. "They would have made you into a child bride?"

"Yes, from what we've heard, that was their intention," Helena told him. "I would have been a slave, and your Celestial Dragons would have had access to the God Powers."

"No," Coby gasped. "I've made a terrible mistake."

"What do you mean?" Helena asked, her voice suddenly tense.

"You asked me about my mission," Coby heaved. "I was sent here because I knew your husband. They wanted me to see if you were hiding him here in the palace."

"You knew him?" Helena breathed. "But if they sent you here to find him, that means they lied to me. They must believe he's…"

"Of course he's still alive," Coby exclaimed passionately. "He's Roronoa Zoro! The man destined to become the World's Greatest Swordsman! It'll take more than a fight with a measly Warlord to kill him!"

"You're lying," Helena spat, her anger taking him off guard. "He can't be alive! If he is, _he_ died in vain!"

Coby couldn't even begin to fathom what she meant.

Overcome with emotion, her voice grew louder as she rambled on, angrier still. "It wasn't just a warlord! It was an Admiral too! Don't you dare try to give me false hope! Dammit, Zoro! Why couldn't you have died properly? You left everything so ambiguous that I don't know what to believe."

"That's not what matters right now," Coby tried to insist. "Your Majesty, I didn't find your husband here, I…"

"Of course you didn't, because he's _dead,"_ Helena snapped.

A wave of energy radiated from her and knocked him out of his hiding place behind the tree. For someone who didn't know what haki was, she sure possessed a lot of it. He should have realized it before: she did have a commanding presence.

Before he could regain his tongue, another voice spoke, sending a chill down Coby's spine:

"Good Afternoon, Majesty. Thought I'd stop by for a visit, like it's my job."

Bags!

"Nice day," he went on, "Though if you don't mind my observing, you don't seem to be enjoying the sunshine. Is that Prince over there bothering you?"

Coby looked up at him, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that he was in a heap of trouble. That didn't matter now: he had to communicate something to the Queen before it was too late!

"Shut up, Bags," Helena snarled, all royal decorum gone. "Take your spying Captain and leave."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," he said composedly, "But I'd be happy to escort this young man out for you. Prince Cobalt, was it?"

"Majesty, wait!" Coby cried, jumping to his feet. "You need to know…!"

"Can't you see you've done enough?" Bags cut him off, grabbing him roughly by the arm. "Come along then. Or should I get the guards like it's my job?"

It was then Coby caught sight of Helena's face. The anger and denial in her voice became all the more real now that he could see her haunted eyes. He didn't know what about Zoro angered her, but his supposed death had obviously wounded her to her core. –So much so in fact that the mere mention of him turned the usually cool and composed queen into this fierce and frightening, jaggedly broken woman.

Coby didn't try to say any more. He knew by now she was not in the frame of mind to listen.

* * *

To Coby's surprise, Bags only escorted him as far as the palace steps before releasing him without malice. The captain hadn't tried to resist. –Nevermind that he was several decades younger and over a foot taller than the squat, mustachioed man. He could see the terrifyingly powerful opponent behind the portly façade.

"Aren't you taking me to Regent?" he asked, turning to face Bags with wide eyes. Up until that very moment he'd been almost positive he was headed toward demotion or death: considering the type of people he now knew he was working with, he had suspected the later. Though he fought to keep his voice steady, his knees still shook at the prospect.

Bags looked like he was about to respond, but his beady black eyes widened when he caught sight of something still clutched unwittingly in the captain's hand:

"Are those Cassandra's cookies?" the chubby man asked. "How'd you get her to give them to you? I've been trying for years like it's my job!"

"Oh, uh…" Coby looked down. "Do you want some?"

He said the latter out of polite habit, then realized how stupid it sounded given the circumstance.

"No, no, it's the principle of _getting_ a snack from Cassandra that counts!" Bags exclaimed.

"Enough," Coby snapped, crumpling the bag shut in a shaking fist. "Why aren't you reporting me to Regent?"

"Why would I do that, Captain?" Bags asked, puffing a few bubbles from his pipe. "Do you know what that man would do to you if he found out what you almost did?"

Coby shuddered. Something told him he was better off _not_ knowing.

"You're not the only one who uses Observation Haki, lad," Bags went on. "I may not be as adept as you are, but I know a trick or two like it's my job. I heard what you were about to tell the Queen. You'd best be keeping that tidbit to yourself, if you know what's good for you."

"What's going to happen to her?" Coby asked.

"That's really none of your business anymore, Captain," Bags said, turning away from him and swinging his signature black umbrella around his arm as he walked back up the steps.

Mustering his courage, Coby stomped after him and grabbed him by the arm:

"No, _what's going to happen to her_ ," Coby insisted, teeth bared. "You can't hurt her, she's…"

"No longer your concern," Bags replied coolly. He went on in an almost grandfatherly tone: "Think on this, boy. I stopped you from committing high treason in there, but you were close enough that I don't think Regent or any of his superiors will care."

That was certainly a chilling thought. Regent answered to the Admirals, yes, but also the Fleet Admiral himself, whom Helena had already mentioned was no friend to her country. Chances were pretty high that he'd approved all of this himself.

Bags went on calmly: "I'm willing to keep what I observed to myself because I was the fool who brought an honorable man like you onto this mission in the first place. But if you mention any of the classified information from your report to _anyone_ …" His voice didn't change at all as he went on: "I will kill you and all of your men like it's my job."

Coby released him, shaking with anger now more than fear. It was one thing to threaten _him_ ; it was another entirely to threaten his _crew_. They were innocent in all this. He knew better than to try and argue that point, though, so he tried another tack:

"She knows about the assassination, Bags," he called to the fat man's retreating form. "She saw right through our disguises. Regent should pull all his men now; they'll only get killed if that woman draws her swords."

"Of course she saw through you," Bags replied, not turning back around. "Regent and I planned it that way."

"What…?!"

"You're dismissed, Captain," Bags called, still not slowing or turning. "Return to your other assignment like it's your job."

He swaggered the rest of the way up the palace steps, casually swinging that umbrella of his as though he hadn't a care in the world. – as if people's lives didn't hang in the balance.

With clenched teeth and fists, Coby watched Bags disappear behind the palace doors. Anger shot through him, making his shoulders shake. Like lightning looking for an outlet, the emotion finally released itself through the end of Coby's fist as he slammed it into a nearby pillar.

The heavy white marble shattered beneath years of training. Yet despite how strong the Captain had worked so hard to become, he still wasn't strong enough to stop the likes of Bags or Regent. More marines, not to mention Zoro's family, would be sacrificed for other people's corrupt ambitions. It sullied everything the Marines stood for.

"Whoa, I haven't seen you lose it like that since, like, ever."

Helmeppo had just emerged from the palace doors, lifting his sunglasses so he could get a clearer view of Coby's handiwork. The pillar crumbled in a cloud of smoke, drawing the eye of civilians walking through a nearby plaza.

"Come on, Vice-Captain," Coby growled. "We're leaving…" He turned and started to walk in the direction of the docks, despite the civilian stares.

"Finally!" Helmeppo exclaimed, falling in step with him. "But before we go, I think you should hear what some of the other Marine-Prince guys in there were saying. You're not going to like it…"

"Just what I need. More bad news," Coby grumbled, but he let Helmeppo say his piece. By the time he had finished, Coby had stopped in his tracks and swore under his breath.

"Captain Coby-San…?"

"This is bigger than I ever realized," he replied. "Are we really just supposed to sail away as though none of this is happening? We need to tell someone, but who…?"

His eyes widened as he picked up a familiar aura on his peripheral. Though he hadn't seen this person in years, not since before his haki had awakened, he recognized him almost immediately.

"Zoro…?"

"Huh?"

"Come on!" Coby cried, taking off running. "I think I've found someone who can help!"

* * *

 _"I can't believe you got yourself turned into a fox!"_

Of all the strange things that had happened in Zoro's life, being chewed out by his Father-in-Law in the form of a goose definitely ranked pretty high. Cygnus honked, and Zoro could tell he was honking, but he heard the words within the sound. This must be what Chopper felt like.

" _Of all the idiotic…!"_

" _You know, you're really one to talk,"_ Zoro reminded him. The words came out in a yip. _So that's what the fox says,_ he thought _._

Cygnus stopped, his beak hanging open unattractively with a swallowed retort. Clearly he couldn't really say anything to defend himself. After all, he'd been goosified long before Zoro had been foxified.

The King regained his regal composure. Well, as regal as any goose could compose oneself anyway.

 _"I see you finally understand what I'm saying,"_ Cygnus went on demurely. " _Well, I suppose that's one good thing to come from all this."_

 _"Your Majesties, if I may, bickering isn't going to solve anything,"_ Hector put in with a cute little high-pitched sigh. The rabbit had escaped Circe along with Zoro. " _We need to come up with a plan."_

" _Uh, keep that singular, Hector,"_ Zoro told him. He wasn't any Majesty. " _But you're right. I'm not staying like this any longer than I have to…"_

 _"At least you get to be a carnivore,"_ Hector put in with a twitch of his adorable bunny whiskers.

"WILL YOU GUYS QUIT CUTTING ME OUT OF THE CONVERSATION?!" Perona squealed _,_ drawing their gaze up to her looming form. "I'm here too you know! Ugh! Zoro! You're such a moron! Why did you have to go get turned into a cute cuddly fox just when I need you to be a big scary jerk! Now how am I going to get my yacht with servants who will bring me bagel sandwiches and hot cocoa?"

" _I am not cute…_!" Zoro growled, right as Cygnus put in:

" _I don't recall promising a_ yacht."

" _…or cuddly! Right, Hector?!"_

" _Are you trying to rub it in, Roronoa? Because…"_

" _Hold up,"_ Zoro raised a paw to silence everyone, one of his ears twitching. " _Someone's coming_."

He could not only hear the voices (his animal sense certainly helped pick up on that), he sensed a pretty powerful presence coming their way. Well, they were hidden just off of a path that ran by the city walls. Anyone could be walking this way. But someone this strong might just be the female marine captain who had gotten them into this mess in the first place.

Zoro crept cautiously toward the path, trying not to trip. He still wasn't quite used to walking on four legs, or even _having_ forelegs, for that matter. As he neared the path, he picked up on the voices more clearly and realized he recognized them.

"Captain, _slow down_! Who have you found?"

"Wait and see! You're not going to believe it!"

Coby cleared a bend in the path, bounding into sight with an excited look on his face. Zoro smirked to himself. Hadn't that blond dude (what was his name again?) just called Coby 'Captain'? It looked like the kid was moving up in the world.

What was he wearing though? He was still a marine, wasn't he? Why the fancy get-up? The blond guy looked even more ridiculous, almost like a…like a…

Like a prince.

Zoro growled involuntarily. These two weren't making moves on his wife, were they?

Coby reached Zoro's hiding place well before his companion did. Zoro had kept himself low to the ground beneath a bush, hoping his green fur would make him hard to spot. To his dismay, Coby looked right at him.

The Marine's brow furrowed in confusion. He took his glasses off of his forehead and put them over his eyes, crouching down to Zoro's level and squinting at him in surprise.

"Zoro-San…?" he asked in a quiet voice. "Zoro-San, is that really _you_?"

Zoro shook his head in denial, then realized he'd given himself away by responding at all. Coby chuckled, replacing his glasses on the floral bandana surrounding his messy pink hair.

"What happened to you, Zoro?" he asked, "You sure look, uh, different…"

"Coby?" that was that blond guy again. He was still several yards away. "Why have you stopped?"

"Hey, I sense there are other people with you," Coby murmured urgently to Zoro. "Can they be trusted?"

Zoro blinked at him in confusion, but nodded.

"COBY!"

Coby chuckled again. "Stay out of sight," he whispered to Zoro. "If Helmeppo-San sees you like this, he'll never let you live it down you know. Anyway, this might be for the best."

Seating himself in the grass by the road, Coby effectively blocked Zoro and the bush he had taken cover in as Helmeppo arrived, panting:

"What, are we taking a break?" he wheezed, leaning down on his knees to try and catch his breath. "Don't stop on my account. I could run like this for hours! Just tell me who we're trying to find!"

"We'll get to that, Helmeppo-San," Coby said dismissively. "Before we do, I wanted to go over what you told me again. You know. That thing you heard from the other marines while we were undercover today in Queen Helena's court."

 _Undercover marines, huh? This should be interesting_ , Zoro thought.

 _"There are marines undercover with the suitors?"_ Hector whispered beside him. " _That's a new development. When I left, Paris had vetted all of the Princes in there a long time ago."_

 _"Maybe they just showed up,"_ Zoro pointed out.

"You've already forgotten?" Helmeppo asked Coby. "Geez, Captain. What were we running off in a panic for if you can't even remember what I told you? So Queen Helena's supposed to be assassinated tonight, right?"

"Right, her and her family…" Coby said with a nod. "Supposedly her father has already been captured.

Hector and Zoro exchanged glances. They'd known Cygnus was in danger, but Helena? – speaking of the goose, he'd followed Hector. He was too big to fit under the bush, but he could hide behind it. He had stuck his long gangly neck through the leaves beside Zoro and Hector so he could hear better. A few feet beyond him, Perona listened from behind a tree.

"So they briefed us on that, but they never told us _how_ they intended to kill her," Helmeppo went on. "Like, we assumed our guys were just going to gang up on her…"

Zoro snorted. " _Helena could take them."_ Hector and Cygnus nodded beside him in agreement.

"But it turns out our guys are just the distraction. While she and her people are busy fighting the disguised marines, the actual Princes are going to seal off the throne room and set off these gas canister things. Deadly stuff. One whiff and you're done for," Helmeppo shuddered. "Imagine if we'd stuck around, huh? The guys were asking why I didn't have a mask. All of them have been prepped to survive the fight."

"From what I understand they never intended for the two of us to stay," Coby informed him. "I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe we should take it as a compliment that they wouldn't expect us to, well, murder an innocent woman like that."

"Innocent?" Helmeppo asked, facing him. "Regent said she was dangerous and unstable…"

 _"Regent?"_ Cygnus hissed. " _Not_ that _Regent…"_

" _It must be someone else,"_ Hector put in. " _If memory serves, Your Majesty blew his head off."_

 _"Wait,_ that _guy?"_ Zoro asked, but before he could confirm his suspicion Coby went on:

"But it doesn't stop there, does it?" he prodded. "This isn't just a government takeover. They're going to try to annihilate the capital, civilians included."

"Yeah, even I draw the line there," Helmeppo said, brow furrowed.

"Remind me how they were going to do it?"

"You feeling ok, Coby? Usually your memory is better than this," Helmeppo asked, rapping on Coby's head with his knuckles as though testing it for ripeness.

"Humor me," Coby insisted, pushing his arm away.

"Well, it's a festival tonight. Some City of Dionysus thing. – supposed to be lots of booze and people in masks and stuff. The palace gives out this special free wine; it'll be on practically every street corner. But it's already been laced with poison. Some of our guys snuck out of the throne room and did it earlier today."

"Not the same stuff they're using to kill the Queen, something a little less strong," Coby clarified.

"Yeah, might kill anybody with a weak constitution," Helmeppo said. "But they don't want to risk killing the sea prism miners along with everyone else. They're too valuable. Something about trade secrets." Helmeppo shrugged. "It'll leave everyone weak and easy to subjugate, though. Apparently they expect the people to revolt once they kill the queen."

"Her people are strong," Coby observed. "An uprising could easily turn into an out and out battle."

"Which is why they've also stationed a bunch of marines in disguise around the city," Helmeppo went on. "The masks and costumes and things make it kind of convenient. If anyone tries to rebel or fight back, civilian or soldier alike, it'll be easy to take them down."

"The festival starts at sundown, which is when they'll start distributing the wine I imagine," Coby said.

"Yeah; around that time, one of the Princes is supposed to signal everyone in the throne room by tossing his fan in the air. Some guy named Popinjay."

"We really should warn the Queen," Coby said, glancing briefly back at the bush behind him. "But Bags has us over a barrel…"

"He does?" This was news to Helmeppo apparently. "Is that why we came all the way out here to talk to…whoever it is you've said you've found."

"He's threatened the lives of my crew, who are not part of this takeover," Coby entreated Zoro quietly, though he turned his gaze back toward Helmeppo and the road. "I want to do more, I really do. If it were just about me, I'd go to the Queen myself in a heartbeat." He paused, the sighed. "Then again, I did kind of make her mad. I doubt she'd listen to me anyway."

"Captain Coby-San…?"

Coby got to his feet. "No need to be so formal, Vice-Captain. Let's get back to the ship. I think it's best that we get as far away from Ilium as soon as possible."

"But what about…?"

"When the takeover doesn't go according to plan, I suspect we will be the first to be blamed," Coby pointed out.

"But why won't it go according to plan? We haven't told anyone!"

Coby shot Helmeppo a mysterious smile:

"Exactly, Vice-Captain. We haven't told anyone. We just had a conversation here, privately, outside the walls where we couldn't possibly have been overheard."

"Tch," Helmeppo glanced into the woods, lifting his sunglasses and squinting for a moment. When he saw no one, he turned and started walking back up the path. "Sometimes I wonder about you Coby." He said, shrugging. "Like, did Garp hit you one too many times in the head or something? You do really weird stuff sometimes. – like nearly get yourself fried by an Admiral…"

Coby had turned up the path, but didn't yet follow his companion. "One more thing, Zoro," he said under his breath. "I was sent here to find you. I didn't report you because I didn't discover you until now. Knowing what I do now, I don't _plan_ to report you." He heaved a heavy sigh, "But there is something I did report. I didn't realize it was such a big deal at the time, but I told Regent that you have…"

He stopped short, turning to look sharply behind him. Zoro sensed it too.

" _Get back,"_ he growled to the others. " _It's her."_

Hector swore. " _If she starts yodeling…"_ he'd already tied his ears under his chin.

"Negative hollow," Perona whispered, hitting all three of them with ghosts. Right in time too:

" _Yodelayskreeeeeeeeeeeeeee_!"

Zoro was too depressed to care that the nails-on-a-chalkboard sound made his sensitive fox ears want to bleed. Or that he heard a familiar drawl address Coby a moment later.

"Well, howdy, yer royal highness," the alto twanged. "Name's Circe. You seen a green fox 'round here? I think that varmint done made off with my goose. I gotta teach 'im a lesson."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I haven't seen anything like that," Coby lied, stiffening nervously.

The kid's sincere personality made him a terrible liar. Zoro might have groaned, but then he sighed quietly instead. He probably deserved to get caught anyway.

"Huh. Well, I'm sure he'll come to me eventually. _Yodelulu-boo-hoo_!"

Zoro also figured he deserved to hear such terrible yodeling. If only Circe had turned him into a more fitting form, like a toad, or a worm.

Coby stood there awkwardly a moment longer, apparently not sure what to do. Zoro couldn't see them from where he lay in a sad little heap in the underbrush, but from the sound of the yodeling, Circe hadn't moved.

"Uh, can I help you?" the woman twanged after a moment.

"I, uh…" Coby started. "N-No, uh, no, I was just leaving."

"Alrighty then, see ya around," Circe said non-chalantly. " _Yodel-ah-ahchoo_!"

"Gesundheit," Coby said politely, and by the sound of his voice Zoro could tell the Captain had already started to walk away.

Wait, Coby had needed to tell him something important, hadn't he? Zoro started to straighten up onto his four paws to follow, only to have another ghost knock him to the ground, wallowing in negativity.

"Stay down for now, Foxy-woxy," Perona whispered to him, stroking his velvety ears. Had he been in a normal frame of mind he might have nipped at her hand. "We have to wait for her to move on."

It was a while before Circe moved her search elsewhere. By then Coby was long gone.


	7. Chapter 7 - Perona's Plan

Note from the Author: weekly updates now? Say what? ...I wouldn't get used to it. Anyway, shorter chapter this week. Read. Review. Enjoy.

* * *

Ch. 7 – Perona's Plan

"Hey, mon! This has been fun, but I can think of a better way to pass the time!"

Calypso's pronouncement to Paris rang out across the lawn. The Head of Palace security paused, resting his croquet mallet on his shoulder as he gave Calypso an inquisitive look.

Helena hardly noticed them over her own inner turmoil. Her mind remained focused on the marine captain she had dismissed. He had been trying to tell her something, something important, but she had allowed her emotions to get the better of her.

They were still getting the better of her.

Zoro. Some days she could think on him fondly, other days not so much. This week fell into the latter category. She was approaching the anniversary of his supposed death now. It was a date etched into her memory, and not just for its nearness to the City of Dionysus festival. While one would think that the idea that he could still be alive would be enough to erase the remorse of that day, it only compounded it with guilt and self-loathing for her own weakness of character. She should have been stronger. If Zoro really was alive, it was only a matter of time before he found out. – then again, _he_ should have been stronger too. Zoro never should have died in the first place!

"I hear you were one of the semi-finalists in the last tournament ever to take place for her Majesty's hand, mon," Calypso went on. He glanced at Helena to see if she were watching. While the Queen looked their way, her mind was far distant.

Paris puffed out his chest. "You heard correctly," he boasted. "The only one who could beat me, her Grace excluded of course, was the former Lieutenant General."

"Well, I am curious to see what Ilium's finest has to offer," Calypso pronounced pointedly. "Care for a duel?"

"Sure, if you think a Drum-maker can hold his own against a trained guard like me," Paris said with bravado.

The princes cleared a space in excitement as Paris took his bow off of his shoulders and pulled a sword from his quiver. Calypso flicked one of his machetes an inch from its sheath.

"Further back! Further back!" Nysa, the palace event planner cried, waving her clipboard frantically. Yes, with the way Paris fought, the Princes would be in danger if they stood too close. That was no real concern to Helena though. Anyway, her mind remained on the marine captain who had known her husband.

-Her husband who was probably still alive. Of course he was. Dammit. She should have realized!

Helena sighed, briefly hiding her face in a hand. She needed to get a grip on her spiraling emotions before they revealed themselves in an unseemly display. Normally in these situations it was best to walk away until she could get her thoughts in order.

She stood, retrieving her swords from where they hung about her wicker throne. At the precise moment she made to sling them over her shoulder, Paris launched the first attack, firing a sword from his bow. Drawing with precision timing, Calypso deflected the blade with ease.

Both men cried out in alarm, however, when they realized that the sword's new trajectory sent it directly toward the Queen.

In less than a blink, Helena drew her most famous rapier. Known as Peleus, it had been given to the royal family by the god Hephaestus an age ago. Blessed with the ability only to defend, and never to hurt the royal family, it had hung unused as decoration by the side of many a King's wife before now. Thus known as the lesser Queen's Blade by its years of disuse, it had only come to be recognized as a deadly weapon in the hands of her mother before her. Years of training had helped Helena to carry on that tradition.

And a few days of training with the man known as Pirate Hunter had taught her to cut steel.

She sliced through the blade spinning toward her, effortlessly reminding her "guests" what kind of woman they were dealing with. Just as quickly she sheathed Peleus, her mouth set in a hard line beneath her even harder eyes.

Her face held no triumph, showed no pride at her own accomplishment. In reality she was still battling the dratted emotions threatening to overwhelm her, and so kept her face schooled into a neutral mask. To those looking on, however, her emotionlessness made her seem fiercely angry.

"I believe I should like to take a walk," she pronounced blandly. "Excuse me, gentlemen."

Never mind that the swordfight was taking place for her benefit, a fact to which she wasn't completely blind, her Majesty walked toward the palace gardens with apparent indifference. Even Popinjay and Pompadour were too shocked, and perhaps too frightened of her, to try to detain her.

Walking slowly between the paused duel, Helena only stopped for a brief moment when she'd passed the two combatants.

"Oh, and Paris?" she said, turning to glance over her shoulder at him.

He blinked at her. "Yes, Majesty?"

"Please don't put Ilium to shame. We have a reputation to keep."

* * *

With Circe safely gone, Perona stood over her strange little flock of animals as they yipped and squeaked and honked at each other, obviously making plans with the new information the Navy Captain had given them. Of course, she had an investment in the way this all came out too – her yacht and cocoa hung in the balance:

"Eh-hem," she fake-coughed after a while. They didn't stop squabbling. "EH HEM!"

Still they didn't pay her any attention. Squatting down beside them, she sent a chubby, round little ghost to sit in the middle of their conspiratorial circle. It exploded with a snap of her fingers.

This knocked Hector, Cygnus, and Zoro onto their backs, successfully dazing them.

"' _Eh hem,'_ I said!"

They finally turned to her. They didn't look amused, but she didn't need them happy, she needed them to listen.

"I don't know what plan you guys are trying to form, but I think I've got this figured out," she informed them flatly. "Don't look at me like that, Zoro. You forget that I was one of Moria-Sama's commanders! I know a thing or two about strategy. So listen up! If we're going to do this thing, we've got to do it with style."

Goose and Rabbit glanced incredulously at the Fox, who shrugged as if to say they may as well hear her out.

Perona flicked Zoro's pointed ear, delighted to see him flinch. He was a lot easier to boss around in this form:

"So we've got three objectives, right? We've got to save the Queen, we've got to save the city, and we've got to get you guys turned back into humans."

The three beasts nodded.

"I think I'm the best suited to confront Circe," Perona informed them. As a form of demonstration she left her body, allowing her astral form to circle above them for a moment before settling back in to reanimate herself. "I doubt she can turn my spirit into an animal. She'll be no match for me."

Zoro shook his head and yipped at her.

"Aw, are you worried about me? That's so sweet…"

Zoro snorted and stole Hector's twig spear. With his still rather dexterous mouth he quickly wrote:

 _You need to warn Helena._

"You'd think that, wouldn't you," Perona told him, patting him condescendingly on the head. "After all, of the four of us, I'm the only one who can still talk. But here's the way I see it. You want to save your Wifey, Zoro, but if you stop the Princes and the World Government from their betrayal entirely, they'll get off scot-free and they'll be back to bothering her sooner or later."

Cygnus nodded, lifting his wings emphatically as if to say this is what he'd been trying to tell the others.

"I'm a Princess too you know, I know how this stuff works," Perona put in dreamily.

Zoro snorted, then looked conveniently interested in the forest canopy when Perona turned to glare at him.

"I think what we really need is for Queen Helena's true love to make a brilliant comeback," Perona went on again with that same dreamy tone, blushing at the romantic prospect. As she went on she grew more excited, pumping a fist in the air: "You need to appear in that throne room and take back what's yours. Dispatch her lover! Drive out the frauds. But do it at just the right time to reveal them all for what they really are! Assassins! Traitors!"

Zoro's alarmed expression was enough to say he did not at all like this idea. Hector and Cygnus had slowly started nodding in agreement though. That was three against one. Perona grinned and pressed it:

"So we need you to transform at just the right moment, right? Turn into a human in the middle of Helena's court and scare the pants off of everybody!"

Zoro shook his head. Cygnus and Hector nodded even faster.

"That means timing is everything," Perona pointed out excitedly. "But we can't wait for that precise moment to start taking care of the poisoned wine. So we'll set all of the cow-soldiers loose in the middle of the city with orders to smash all of the barrels to smithereens. We'll have a regular running of the bulls!"

Cygnus and Hector both grinned at the prospect. Zoro wrote something with his stick:

 _Circe?_

"Oh, don't worry. I'll keep her distracted so she can't start yodeling again. But first we need to stash my body someplace safe. I am NOT keeping it unguarded here in the middle of the woods. Sorry, boys, but none of you have sharp enough teeth or claws for my liking. – Though you are pretty adorable. Especially you, General Cotton-tail."

Cygnus preened. Hector's ears visibly drooped.

"I could use my ghosts as sentries, but I really should keep all my powers focused on Circe…"

Hector stole back his twig:

 _Palace?_

"Aw, that's an excellent idea! You are so sweet!" Before Hector could hop away, Perona scooped him up in a bone-crushing hug. "I wonder what you look like as a human. Do you have a girlfriend?"

Zoro and Cygnus both chortled as Hector wiggled his way free. When he landed on the forest floor, he turned and immediately pointed as though to a wedding band on his left forepaw.

"What? You want me to marry you?" Perona asked, squealing with excitement. "If you're cute and promise to serve me forever, I'll say yes!"

Hector shook his head with all his might, pointing to himself and the ring paw over and over again, but Perona was too wound up to notice.

* * *

Of course, Perona probably had second thoughts about marrying the likes of Hector when he showed her what he meant by leaving her body at the palace. Getting her inside the palace itself would have proven too tricky to accomplish without being seen, and it wasn't like Hector or Cygnus could vouch for her in the forms they were in. It would also be harder to guarantee she wouldn't be found.

So instead Hector led her and the others to one of the now empty soldier barracks on the castle grounds.

"WHAT?!" she shrieked when he pointed into the tidy though now slightly dusty room. It belonged to some of the soldiers who had first fallen under Circe's power, which meant there was no threat of anyone walking in by accident. It had serviceable though decidedly less than luxurious bunk beds, all neatly made and folded with hospital corners (Hector was satisfied to note), but Perona was less than pleased:

"I thought when you said PALACE you meant you'd put me up in a nice king-sized four poster with a puffy comforter and cute stuffed animals!" she wailed. "You're so mean, Mr. Cotton-tail!"

" _Wow, Roronoa,_ " Hector squeaked, pulling his ears down in an attempt keep out the sound of Perona's whining. " _I thought she said she was once one of Moria's commanders…"_

He received no response.

" _Roronoa?"_

Hector and Cygnus exchanged glances, then looked the room over, but Zoro was nowhere to be found.

" _That idiot_ ," Cygnus honk-sighed. " _He got himself lost again. I'll go look for him. You two should start working on Circe and the cows. We only have a few hours til sundown."_

" _Yes, Majesty."_

Hector saluted after the manner of the Iliad army, pounding one paw to his chest. It was only after Cygnus had taken wing outside the barrack doors that it occurred to Hector:

" _Wait, sire! You'll get lost too!"_

But Cygnus was already too far away to hear him.

* * *

Helena walked for a while before she found herself satisfactorily alone. Unfortunately, and somewhat unusually, the only part of the public palace gardens she found unoccupied that day was a portion dedicated to the goddess, Aphrodite.

Walled in by carefully cultivated rose bushes for privacy, the small garden was usually favored by young lovers. Then again, today was a festival, and perhaps all of the young folk were out enjoying the atmosphere in the main city, Helena thought. Never mind that Helena could feasibly be considered one of the "young folk" herself.

The grey-haired and jaded Queen faced a fountain amidst the roses, her gaze resting in the form of a glare on the white marble statue at its center.

It depicted a shapely woman in a flowing gown, her come-hither eyes only partially obscured by a mask of scalloped seashells. White marble roses, carved with delicate precision, graced the goddess' puffy cloud of an afro.

"You're a real witch, you know that?" Helena told the goddess acerbically. "You're lucky I don't destroy your temple next."

The goddess didn't respond.

"You hate me and you hate him for the same petty reason Hera did," Helena pointed out above the chatter of the fountain. "For all I know, you're on her side. Feel free to keep punishing me. I'm not about to let up."

The blank eyes beneath the mask seemed to smile with sarcastic defiance at the Queen, reveling in her pain. It was the last straw for Helena that day. Before she quite knew what had happened, the Goddess' roundish head lay in the water of the fountain, cleanly removed from the rest of the statue.

Breathing hard, Helena looked down at Peleus still clutched in her shaking hand. A glimmer of green reflected from a small emerald set into a gold band welded into the hilt of the blade: her wedding band.

The flashing gem held her gaze, and seemed to drain away all of her angry energy, bringing the proud woman to her knees. Releasing the blade to clatter onto the cobbles beside her, Helena folded arms against the lip of the fountain, hid her face, and wept.

Finding private places to weep had been more difficult of late. Her bedroom was no longer one of them. She kept the tears silent, lest anyone should happen upon her in a state of naked emotion.

It wasn't long into her catharsis that she realized someone indeed stood over her. It felt like someone big, someone terrifyingly strong, someone dangerous. One of her hands crept to the sword lying beside her. Without turning, hardly thinking, her blade rested on the throat of the interloper before she lifted her head.

"Don't move," she warned, turning to face him. When here gaze met that of the intruder's, she blinked away tears in surprise, thinking for a moment she had perhaps fallen asleep and was having a strange dream.

For standing beside her on the lip of the fountain, unafraid of her drawn blade, was nothing more than a mangy, moss-green, one-eyed fox.


	8. Chapter 8 - Aphrodite's Garden

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I am sorry ahead of time for what happens at the end of this chapter.

**Some notes of interest**

-Machete style sword fighting looks really similar to fencing. Check it out on youtube if interested.

-I know that Cupid is Roman not Greek, but Eros sounds too...um...erotic. So I stuck with the Roman name.

-I love writing romance. It's my weakness, I confess. (and I'm changing the genre heading on this from Adventure/Family to Adventure/Romance, because let's face it, this is becoming way more romantic than I thought it would be). Zoro is so romantically constipated that it was almost a relief to write this chapter. But I'm still sorry. So sorry.

...

...

...also, please review for this chapter. I really need to know what you think before I proceed.

* * *

Ch. 8 – Aphrodite's Garden

"Brave little fellow, aren't you?" Helena said, lowering her sword.

Zoro stared at her, still finding it hard to believe that the one person he'd been trying to avoid was the one person he'd run straight into. She looked so different, and it wasn't just that she'd cut her hair. Her countenance was harder somehow. She looked exhausted too, but that was nothing new. She was always running herself ragged for the Kingdom. Had she still not learned to delegate after all this time?

And then there was the angry outburst he'd just witnessed. He knew Helena to be an emotional person, for all she did to try and hide it, but she had a lot of self-control most of the time. It had come as a bit of a shock to see her destroy a statue of one of the gods. She had always been so pious. What had happened to her these past few years? Something was definitely wrong.

She moved to wipe the tears from her face with the back of a fist. "Sorry, you kind of caught me at a bad time." She chuckled. "Who am I kidding? It's never a good time with me these days. Still, I probably could have fooled you into thinking otherwise, but I just had some bad news," she paused, her brows furrowed. "Or is it good news? Hard to say."

Zoro continued to stare at her, unsure what action to take next. He wasn't even sure why he'd stepped out of hiding in the first place. If he was honest with himself it was probably because he couldn't stand to watch her cry anymore; regardless now he was starting to regret it. What if she figured out who he was?

"Have you heard of the pirate, Roronoa Zoro?" she asked him. Her voice took on a daydreamy kind of quality as she leaned back against the fountain's edge. "Real tough guy. Artist with a sword…or three, as the case may be. He went to death and back for me, saved my entire kingdom even. He was without question one of the most amazing men I've ever known…"

Zoro sat on his haunches and puffed out his chest a bit. Well, if she put it that way, he was pretty amazing, wasn't he?

"…and I made the idiot mistake of marrying that handsome lout."

Uh. Had she just complimented or insulted him? He cocked his head in confusion.

"I guess I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter, and neither did he, but we could have waited… _should_ have waited. We were both too stubborn though. And I guess we were in love, so there's that…" Helena heaved a sigh.

Yes, they were in love. What was with the regret? Zoro hadn't regretted it. Not once. – but she looked so sad…

Zoro padded a few steps toward her, an inquisitive grunt escaping him. Helena held out a hand to him, and while the human in him wanted to take her hand in his, he realized it would have given him away. Instead he nuzzled it affectionately. In response she started to scratch him behind the ears, which felt amazing.

"You know, he died about two years ago. So they say, anyway. And because he died, I…." Her gaze became distant. "I wasn't strong enough…"

What did she mean by that? Zoro took a step away from her and the distractingly delicious scratching, his heart sinking.

"He could still be alive, you know. In fact, just today I met someone who told me that the World Government never actually confirmed his death. They lied to me, but what's new? I should have guessed, but even if I had I would still have chosen to think of him as dead because if I choose to hope…" She chuckled an ironic, sad sort of chuckle. "Well, he could die all over again, couldn't he? And that would be more than a weakling like me can handle apparently… "

So this was his fault. Why had it never occurred to him that his failure could have affected her? While she had forbidden him from reading or otherwise receiving news of Ilium while they were apart, she hadn't been so kind to herself with regard to news about him. He should have realized – should have sent her word that he was alright.

Hopping down from the fountain's edge, he settled himself into her lap so he could be closer to her. Turned out it meant getting his back scratched, which was a nice added bonus.

"Not just fearless, you're a friendly little guy too, huh?" she asked, smiling that beautiful smile of hers, though the sadness did not leave her eyes. "You're a bit scruffy, but you don't act wild. I bet you're somebody's pet."

He snorted in derision. As if!

Helena laughed. Zoro had almost forgotten how much he loved the sound.

"Ok, or not," she chuckled. "If you were you'd be a stray, eh? You certainly haven't seen a bath in ages. I didn't know a fox could get moss in his fur like that."

She paused, squinting at him.

"Wait a minute, this isn't moss. Your fur is actually green! I've never seen green fur like this before…" she stopped scratching and ran her fingers through the fur in question. "You know it's the exact same color as his hair…"

He looked up at her in time to catch the look of suspicion on her face. Oops.

"Your eye…" she said, picking him up and looking into it searchingly. "It's grey like steel."

Zoro looked away, trying to be nonchalant. Yup, he'd allowed himself to get too close to her. This was not going to end well.

"Wait a minute…" Helena held him up higher, her eyes narrowing as they looked at the fur on his chest. She turned to glare him in the face, "You have a scar just like his. On your feet too." She investigated his ankles.

Busted.

"Zoro?! Is that you?"

Well, maybe if he didn't nod or shake his head like he'd done with Coby she'd realize how ludicrous it sounded.

When he didn't respond, Helena lowered him slowly.

"No, you're not him, are you?" she said softly. The disappointment in her voice made him feel guilty. Her shoulders started to shake, which turned into a chortle, which turned into a laugh. "That would be ridiculous. More likely you've been sent by the gods to torment me some more. Yeah, real funny!"

She threw her head back and shouted the last part to the heavens. Her hands tightened dangerously around Zoro, squeezing the breath out of him in the form of a little squeak.

"What, did you think you'd trick me into telling everyone I'm married to a fox? You're a riot, Hera!" she called. She lifted Zoro up in one hand and gave him a little shake as he yipped in protest. "It's not going to work! I'm done with you, _all_ of you, you hear? I'm done!"

Finished with her show of empty bravado, the Queen's hand thankfully slackened around him and he jumped free of her grip, gasping for air.

"I'm done…" she repeated quietly, curling until she hid her face against her knees.

Zoro watched her shoulders start to shake some more, knowing full well she wasn't laughing this time. His conscience tore at him. He had reduced her to this.

 _"Hey,"_ he yipped at her, knowing she wouldn't understand him.

She didn't look up.

" _I'll make this right,"_ he told her. " _Helena…"_

He placed a paw on her arm. She didn't seem to notice:

"I was such a fool," she murmured. "Zoro, wherever you are I'm sorry, I…"

He pressed his face into her trembling side, wishing he were human again so he could hold her, so he could at the very least apologize.

 _"I should have been stronger_ ," they both said together.

* * *

"Hmph, well, I guess I should have thought of doing something like that," Hera simpered to herself. "How deliciously ironic that she doesn't recognize him, all out of suspicion of little old me."

Athena looked up sharply from where she too spied on the suffering couple. She pinned a glare on the Queen of the Gods, who lounged languidly in her white marble throne. The peacock mask Hera wore hid all but the satisfied smirk on her face.

"Haven't you done enough damage?" Athena snapped at her.

"This wasn't my fault this time," Hera exclaimed.

"Anyway, aren't we going to talk about what just happened here," Aphrodite put in angrily. "She just beheaded me in effigy! What did I ever do to her? I led her to her true love, didn't I?"

" _I_ did," Athena reminded her. "Don't pretend innocence here. You hate Zoro just as much as Hera does."

Aphrodite pulled out a makeup compact, eyeing her reflection as she fluffed her afro and pouted her comely, full lips. "He's just blind is all," she muttered, applying pink lipstick. "Obviously needs to get his eyes checked."

"Eye," Athena put in facetiously.

Now satisfied with her appearance, Aphrodite rounded on her. "You're just pretending not to be bitter because you totally _lost_ the beauty contest, honey. Hera and I may have tied, but you weren't even in the running."

"Jealousy has nothing to do with it," Athena growled. "You two have taken this far enough. Especially _you_ , Hera. – because of what you have done, Ilium is on the brink of destruction."

"Because of what _I've_ done!" Hera exclaimed. "It's the mortals who've caused all of this! He should have chosen me as the fairest. I am the Queen of the Gods after all. – and let's not get started on Helena's over-reaction to my revenge. She destroyed my temple for starters!"

"And now she's destroyed my statue!" Aphrodite exclaimed, pointing to a still pool of water on the marbled floor of the Olympiads' throne room. A scrying glass. It was through said portal the three goddesses spied on Zoro and Helena. "Well, I'm not about to let that go unpunished."

"But Zeus decreed…"

Aphrodite apparently didn't care what Zeus had decreed. She dipped a pink fingernail into the pool, adding new ripples as she dragged it through the image of Helena and the fox.

"That should spice things up," she said, flicking her finger dry in satisfaction.

"What did you do?" Athena demanded.

"I just found our favorite little Heretic some comfort is all," Aphrodite replied. "Someone was looking for her. I just helped him find his way."

* * *

When Helena had cried herself out, she finally noticed that the fox hadn't left her side.

"Look, little guy. I don't blame you for being part of Hera's stupid prank. The gods use people at their least whim you know." She reached down and patted his head. "You've probably got far better things to do than listen to the ramblings of a weak, stupid woman. If you're here because you think I've got food, you probably would be better off a little closer to the palace. Nip at some of those princes while you're there for me, eh?"

 _Oh, gladly,_ Zoro thought malevolently.

He had hated Perona's plan to begin with, but now that he realized how badly Helena needed him, he wasn't about to leave. Appearing out of nowhere in the middle of Helena's court suddenly had a lot of appeal.

Zoro backed away from her, looking her once over. Her eyes had red rims, but she had wiped her face clear of tears, and she wore a crooked smile as she looked down at him. Satisfied that she would be alright for the time being, he yipped at her once, then turned to go. He paused halfway under a rose bush when he heard a voice.

"Here you are, mon."

Zoro looked up as Helena did to see a man standing at one of the garden's entrances.

"Mr. Calypso," Helena replied, getting to her feet. Her voice was steady. "I apologize for leaving, I…"

"No, I was out of line," he told her. "I thought that if I challenged your lover I could finally get your attention."

"It's alright, I…wait, what?" Helena stared at him.

Zoro stared at him harder.

"Sorry, Majesty. I have discovered the secret of who shares your bed," he went on shamelessly.

"Who shares my…?" Helena's brow furrowed as her mouth hung open in confusion. "You think Paris and I…?"

"There's really no use denying it, mon. I saw him climb your balcony this morning."

Helena's gaping mouth turned into a wide smile which turned into a laugh. It was this Calypso person's turn to look confused.

"Yup! You caught me," Helena giggled, holding her arms out wide theatrically. "I have a lover. Paris, in fact. Well, why not? One can be surrounded by admirers and still feel lonely, hm?"

A wave of relief swept Zoro. He could tell Helena was lying. And Paris of all people? Seriously? Who could honestly believe that?

"I beat your lover, mon." Apparently Calypso could. Whoever this guy was he clearly didn't know Helena like Zoro did. "Playing by the rules you used to play by, does this mean I get to _become_ your lover?"

"Oh dear," Helena said, wiping amused tears from her eyes. "You're telling me he lost? And after all I told him not to put Ilium to shame."

"Don't take it too hard. mon. He's not Ilium's finest, after all," Calypso said, grinning. He drew a machete from a sheath hanging on his back. " _You_ are."

Smooth.

"Perhaps in defeating him, I have shown you he's not worthy of your bed, mon," Calypso shrugged, and went on with confidence. "Perhaps in defeating _you_ , I show you that _I_ am."

"I'm not sure it works like that," Helena chuckled.

"Allow me to convince you."

Helena eyed him for a moment. Though she hesitated, Zoro could see she was dying to try her sword against his. After all, she'd never been one to back down from a challenge. He found himself half hoping she'd accept just for the chance of seeing her put the smug dastard in his place.

He got his wish.

"Fine," she said, drawing Peleus slowly. "But I am not promising _anything_ , sir. The requirement for my hand has already been set, and I'm not about to change it."

Calypso smiled. "I'm not after your hand, mon," he said, winking at her. "I'm after _you_."

* * *

"Ha! You really think that smooth talking scoundrel is going to get the Queen to fall for him?" Athena laughed. "He's so not her type."

Aphrodite smiled in return. "For a goddess of Wisdom, you aren't very bright are you," she said.

Athena stopped short, narrowing her eyes through the slits in the helmet covering her face.

"Zeus said no more meddling."

"So go cry to Daddy," Aphrodite simpered. "Love is _my_ territory, honey. You tried your hand at some chemistry before, but I'm about to show you how it's really done."

* * *

"Crossing the Rubicon!"

Zoro was pretty familiar with the old ritual. It made him a bit nostalgic to see Helena do it again. First she flipped her sword into the air. Catching it in her left hand, she used the momentum of the spin to carve a line in the ground before flipping the sword across her back to return it to her right. Then she stepped across the line in a classic fencer's stance, one hand raised behind her.

All of this happened in a matter of seconds. Much like tying on his bandana, it was a ritual to help her focus her concentration. He'd never actually stopped to ask her what the Rubicon was, and why it was such a big deal to cross it. All he knew was that any man who thought to challenge her was in trouble the moment she did.

"Fancy," Calypso said, smirking. He spun the machete around one hand and then the other several times, flipped it in the air and caught it, then winked at her again. Helena chortled.

"Oh no, I guess I should just give up now," she said, shrugging in defeat. "I'm afraid I focus my training on, you know, swordsmanship, not baton twirling."

"Oh don't worry, mon. We're just getting started."

Calypso also settled into a type of fencing stance. With one hand holding the machete steadily before him, he kept the other hand at his side, resting on the sword still sheathed at his back. Though he didn't look or act like a prince, the stance lent him a regal sort of poise. He definitely knew what he was doing.

Calypso made the first move, lunging toward Helena, though not with full power. Testing her, perhaps? He made five slashes in all before he whirled around her and repeated the pattern again.

 _Clash. Clash. Clink-clink. Clash._

It was ridiculously basic swordsmanship for someone who practically reeked of haki. Zoro narrowed his eye. The man obviously had an endgame, but why the child's play?

 _Clash. Clash. Clink-clink. Clash._

Helena let him have his fun, never once lowering her guard despite the simplicity of the sword patterns.

 _Slow. Slow. Quick-quick. Slow._

"I take it the gentleman likes to tango?" Helena asked, an amused smile tweaking the corner of her lips.

"So you caught on, mon," Calypso replied, grinning broadly. "Ah, but you're tense, just waiting for me to change the pattern. Why not launch an attack yourself?"

"I'm trying to figure you out," Helena replied, narrowing her eyes. "You defeated my, uh, lover after all. He's not exactly weak. Just who are you?"

Before Calypso replied, Helena did lash out, changing the pattern.

 _Clink. Clink. Clink. Clash! Clink. Clink. Clink. Clash!_

"Mm, bachata," Calypso murmured, raising a brow at her seductively. "That one's pretty spicy."

Tango? Bachata? What were they talking about? Some kind of foreign cuisine?

"Haven't danced either in a very long time," Helena admitted.

Ah. Dances. Helena had always loved to dance.

"Not even with your lover?"

"A queen doesn't exactly have time for frivolity," Helena pointed out, dodging the question about Paris.

"More's the pity, mon," Calypso said. "Your husband, then?"

Helena shook her head, smiling a small smile to herself. "He didn't really dance much."

"No?"

"Only when he had to."

 _Hey! I did too dance!_ Zoro thought to her, starting to feel angry though he couldn't be sure why. After all, despite his denials she was telling the truth.

Calypso changed the sword pattern again:

 _Clink-clink, clash! Clink-clink, clash!_

"Salsa?" Helena asked, her grin widening. "Switch it to Merengue and the fight's really on."

Ok, now Zoro was fairly convinced they had to be talking about food. Why did all these dances sound like dishes, anyway? Spicy dishes…

"Well, what are you waiting for, 'Elena?" Calypso goaded. "It's your turn after all."

Ok, what was with the first name basis? And it was Huh-lena, with an H. Idiot. Learn to talk.

Whatever a Merengue was, it was fast. Helena switched the pattern to a quick, even one-two one-two. As she had predicted, the fight finally began in earnest, breaking all obvious molds.

Zoro could tell even before the fight began that this Calypso person was much stronger than Helena, both physically and by the power of his aura. It hadn't worried him. He'd watched Helena win in a tournament against quite a few men stronger than she. Her sword style didn't rely on physical strength, it relied on speed and flexibility, on finesse. And she wasn't exactly weak herself.

Long ago, she had shown him that there was more than one kind strength in swordplay. It looked like this Calypso person was about to learn the same lesson.

"You're amazing, mon," Calypso said sincerely after a few real passes.

"Well, what did you expect? Anyway, you're not so bad yourself," Helena went on with furrowed brow. "Really though! Where did you come from? I know you're not Navy. Are you a pirate?"

"Are those really the only two possibilities, mon?" Calypso asked. "I can assure you, I am no pirate."

"You can assure me, huh?"

"Try again, mon. Though if you haven't guessed after knowing me nearly two years, I don't think you will." Calypso bumped his brows at her goadingly.

So they'd known each other a while. Zoro had kind of gathered as much, what with all the playful banter.

"You're some kind of palace guard? A king's soldier?"

As she spoke, they made a few more passes at one another. Calypso shook his head to both inquiries.

"Revolutionary?"

"Not even close," Calypso snorted.

"Police?"

Calypso seemed to hesitate at this one, though ultimately he shook his head, still grinning.

"We're neither of us giving this our full strength, mon," he pointed out. "Let's see if you can keep up."

Then he disappeared.

Zoro's eye widened. He'd seen that technique before.

He was too distracted by what happened next to think on it. Calypso hadn't actually vanished, he was just moving too fast for the naked eye to keep up. Zoro had seen Helena best Captain Kuro using a similar technique before, so it came as no surprise that she managed to block him.

Only Calypso didn't attack in a normal way. Yes, Helena blocked his sword, but he had also reached his free hand around her waist, pulling her close to him, though their crossed blades kept her bending back and away.

"I beg your pardon!" she spluttered indignantly, her cheeks flushing.

Obviously enjoying her agitation, Calypso did something fancy with his feet, catching the back of one of her knees and forcing it to bend so that he dipped her backwards with the force of their crossed blades.

"I bet her majesty has never danced like this before," he murmured to her alluringly, his face unnervingly close to hers.

Ok, that was the last straw. Friendly banter was one thing, but Zoro wasn't about to sit around and watch the cad seduce his wife!

He made to leap from hiding, his ultimate goal to bite Calypso's bare ankles. Unfortunately he didn't count on having a tail. It had somehow gotten caught in the rose bush.

"You, sir, are out of line," Helena informed Calypso. Zoro stopped his struggling and watched in satisfaction as his wife kicked up one of her flexible legs, smashing her foot into the brazen scamp's dreadlocked head.

At least, that's what should have happened. Predicting her movement, Calypso adjusted his grip on her waist, spotting her in a backwards flip as though they really were dance partners. The flip gave them both space to recover, and Helena turned to glare at him, puffing out her cheeks in flustered anger as she held her blade between them.

"You'd better draw that other sword," she warned.

With her free hand, she pulled a second and then a third sword from the sheaths on her back. Launching them skyward one after the other, she jumped at Calypso, blocking his machete with Peleus and kicking off of his chest so she could catch the other rapiers in her toes midair. By the time she landed, she'd already drawn her fourth sword; a long, sea prism dagger.

Great. All swords were out. Hopefully that meant she intended to end this quickly. Zoro didn't know how much more he could take.

"Hard to dance with swords in your feet, mon," Calypso pointed out.

"I'm not here to dance," Helena snapped.

"Pity for one so graceful."

Helena's brow furrowed in frustration at the blatant flirting. "Try this on for grace," she growled, launching herself at him with all four blades bared.

Instead of doing as she'd advised and drawing his other machete, Calypso sheathed the first one. Dodging easily through the whirlwind of her blades, he spun her through his arms, determined to continue the dance.

And Helena could do nothing about it.

Zoro's gritted his teeth. – Calypso wasn't just good, he was ridiculously good. Better than Helena by far; perhaps even as good as himself. He'd been toying with her from the beginning. All the flirting hadn't been simply to throw her off her game, though he had certainly done that – it had been in earnest.

Just like the first time when he trapped her in a dip, he guided her from one pose to the next, never once falling victim to her blades.

"You are so elegant," he told her unabashedly.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she blustered, her face getting redder and redder by the second. "And I'll have you know…whoa!"

He had just moved her into another position. Though she tried to catch him with her foot swords, he'd timed a jump just right, stepping on both blades. He caught her by the wrist as she lost her balance, guiding Peleus away from his side, but also keeping her from landing in a completely inelegant heap on the ground.

"I'll have you know, I generally prefer men who are _taller_ than I am," she grumped. It was a petty attempt to gain back some dignity, but Calypso didn't even flinch at the jab.

"Generally?" He asked, raising his brows. He pulled her up to her full height against him, looking up into her eyes without any hint of embarrassment for his own lack of altitude. "Does that mean you make exceptions, mon? Because I'd love to be one."

"You…!" she obviously didn't know what to say to this. He spun her where she stood, dodging her blades as before, then trapped her once more against him, this time with her back to him. Though he'd just shown how she stood a head above him, he'd manipulated her perfectly to his height so that his head rested on her shoulder.

He turned her head, kissing the scar Mihawk had given her. –The one on her neck that started just beneath her ear. When he spoke his tone had changed entirely:

"Why would a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman like you insist on pursuing men who are out to hurt you?" he asked with quiet sincerity. "Your first love betrayed you. Your husband abandoned you. Don't you think you deserve better than that?"

Helena had stiffened at his kiss, but at his words the tension left her body completely. They had a similar effect on Zoro, who felt the angry, jealous energy siphon out of him into the tilled earth beneath his paws.

Calypso was right. Helena deserved better.

The Queen lowered her swords and bowed her head.

"I do not pursue love," she confessed softly. "I never have. A man strong enough to defeat me is a man strong enough to protect what matters most to me."

"Your kingdom, mon?"

"My people."

Calypso released her, but he wasn't really letting her go. With a vulnerable look of loneliness in her tired eyes, she turned to him just a little too slowly as he launched himself at her, finally drawing one of his machetes. He used it to deflect all four of her half-ready blades, knocked her to the ground and pinned her. She winced as he drove his machete into the earth beside her neck in a clear sign of victory.

"It's not right, mon," he told her. He caressed her face with his free hand, searching her eyes as he spoke. "You have just as much a right to love and happiness as any of they."

He leaned in to kiss her, but she released one of her swords and held her fingers to his lips.

"No, Blue," she told him resolutely, calling him by his first name for the first time. "Because I am their Queen."

* * *

"Nice trick with the rose bush there," Hera simpered to Aphrodite. "You stopped Zoro from interrupting a very interesting duel."

"It doesn't matter," Athena gloated, "I told you she'd never…what are you doing?"

For Aphrodite had pulled a small crossbow from a heart-shaped purse at her side. It was so tiny that its miniature arrows were more like darts really, but all the gods knew it could have deadly results.

"I am teaching that little fox and his wife a lesson," Aphrodite snarked, cocking the tiny weapon and pointing it at the image of Helena in the water of the scrying glass.

"That's not Cupid's, is it?...NO!"

Just as Aphrodite made to pull the trigger, Athena lunged, trying to knock the weapon out of Aphrodite's hand. Too late. It went off with an adorable little _pew_ sound, the tiny arrow disappearing into the pool of water.

Aphrodite pulled up the little crossbrow and blew on it as though blowing steam off of the barrel of a gun. "You threw off my aim!" she pouted.

"You missed?" Athena gasped in relief, turning her gaze to the pool.

"Oh no, I got her," Aphrodite's pink lips spread into a smile. "But only a graze. Just enough to get her to drop that iron wall she keeps around her heart, if only for a moment. It should be enough to accomplish my purpose."

"Which is?" Hera chirped from where she'd watched the proceedings with interest from her throne.

"Breaking her husband's heart."

* * *

"Hey, I won, mon," Calypso pointed out, lightly kissing the hand that had blocked him. "That has to count for something."

"I said no promises," Helena pointed out. "And anyway, you didn't win."

"How do you figure?" he asked.

"I'd lean back very slowly if I were you."

Calypso straightened up tentatively, glancing over his shoulder as he did. Helena had one of her foot rapiers clutched in both of her sandaled feet, pointing the sharp blade straight at the base of his skull.

Zoro had seen it before Calypso had. The match had ended in a draw, as both opponents could easily have killed the other at the same time. It didn't make him feel any better though. Helena should have lost. In fact, if she knew what was good for her, she probably should have made Calypso her lover a long time ago. Maybe then Zoro wouldn't have found her crying alone in the garden.

Calypso grinned, retrieved his machete, and sheathed it. "A tie then," he acknowledged.

Helena lowered her sword. "It might not have been if you'd focused a little more on fighting and a little less on flirting."

"Don't pretend you didn't like it, mon," he put in coyly.

Helena sighed. "Anyway, where were you three years ago?"

Zoro could swear he felt Mihawk's dagger again. The regret in her words cut him to the core.

Calypso had straightened up off of her, and was in the process of helping her sit upright, when he paused, lifting an eyebrow:

"Wait, does that mean you…?"

Helena's mouth dropped open. "No, I didn't mean to say that!"

"You as good as admitted you like me, mon."

"No!"

Helena tried to deny it, but Zoro knew better. And so did Calypso. The handsome man didn't waste any more time with words. He pulled the Queen onto his lap, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

And for a moment, if only a moment, Helena kissed him back.


	9. Chapter 9 - Dreams and Revelations

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Thank you so much, everyone, for being willing to review that last chapter. Confession, I wanted reviews because I was honest to goodness afraid you'd all leave me after writing that. Glad to know you are still on board. Also, I enjoyed chatting with some of you through PM and playing devil's advocate to your ideas/arguments. I personally love Calypso as a character. He's fun to write, I love his character design, and i love his fighting style. Do I love him being with Helena?

OF COURSE NOT. But it was still the most fun I've had writing a fight scene in a while. Plus, he can get away with saying uber cheesy romantic things. Zoro generally cannot. And he knows it. Which is why he doesn't say them. (Though I want it noted that Calypso's first few line in this chapter made me cringe. He had to say it, though. It becomes important later.)

So hopefully Helena can redeem herself a bit in this chapter. Those of you who were angry with her can let me know what you think on that front.

* * *

Ch. 9 – Dreams and Revelations

"Do you have any idea what you've just done?!" Athena raged, staring in horror at the image of Helena and Calypso in the scry glass. Fox Zoro was nowhere in sight. Aphrodite had already released him from the rose bush, and he'd turned and padded away despondently. What more did he need to see?

Aphrodite most assuredly would have said something snarky in response, but Athena didn't give her a chance. Retrieving her spear from where it lay beside her own throne, she swung the weapon wide, using it to knock Aphrodite to the ground.

"Congratulations. You've just destroyed Ilium's one hope of survival," Athena snarled, looming dangerously over Aphrodite with her spear pointed at the goddess' throat. "I've worked for years to tie that man to her, and now he's going to leave and never return. Have you forgotten that our powers are inextricably linked to the bloodline of Ilium's royalty? If we continue to betray them…!"

"What's going on here?!" Zeus thundered, descending upon the throne room on the back of a thundercloud. His mask hid his face, but not his rage. His beard always got a bit more staticky when he was angry, and currently stuck out at odd angles, sparking. "Athena, stand down!"

"Ah, just in time, Pumpkin," Hera simpered. "Athena just attacked Aphrodite in a fit of jealousy!"

"Jealousy? I highly doubt that," Zeus growled. "Why are any of you using the scry glass? It is forbidden to interact with the mortals right now, especially _that_ mortal."

He pointed at Helena, then paused and did a double take at the image in the water.

"Hey, that guy's got some pretty smooth moves," he said excitedly, a scroll and plume materializing in front of him so he could take notes. "Good work, Aphrodite!"

"Father!" Athena snapped, and Zeus seemed to remember himself.

He turned to glare at Aphrodite. "What did you do?" he asked the Love Goddess accusingly.

"Is it really such a bad thing for the Queen to get a little love and attention after so long?" Aphrodite pouted, batting her eyes at Zeus through her shell mask. He grew flustered under her flirtatious gaze. "The man Athena found for her isn't exactly the most attentive of husbands you know."

"Hmm, well, I suppose not," he said, giggling. He still turned to look suspiciously at Hera. "But why are you alright with this?"

"Maybe I've forgiven her," Hera said with a shrug.

"And maybe Tartarus has frozen over," Athena said bitingly. "My Lord, Zeus. They have just…"

"Pulled a harmless prank," Zeus interrupted, waving a hand over the scrying glass. The image disappeared. "For once can I come home to my family not bickering. Please?"

"Consult your Fates, and then tell me what they've done is harmless," Athena cried. "Through them you have the foresight, Father, you know that…!"

"That's quite enough, Athena."

Athena stiffened. This wasn't the first time he'd dismissed her without hearing her through these past two years, and she'd had it. Swinging her spear over her shoulder, she turned and stormed off.

"What's eating her?" Zeus asked.

"Oh, she's just sad and single," Aphrodite replied. "Turn the scry back on! It was just getting good!"

Zeus looked at her in feigned disapproval, then grinned and did as she asked.

* * *

Calypso pulled away for a moment, his mouth a bare tantalizing inch from hers.

"Run away with me," he breathed. "Right now, 'Elena. Leave all of this behind."

"I can't…" she started, and he kissed her again.

Running away certainly had its allure. It had been years since Helena had felt like she was more than her crown or her blades. Every decision she made held such weight, every mistake, every moment of weakness came at such heavy costs. For a few seconds in Calypso's arms she felt like she could be free of all of it. For just one vulnerable moment she allowed herself to be a woman, not a queen. The last time she had felt like this…

Well, it had been with Zoro, hadn't it?

The euphoria passed the second he crossed her mind. What in Hades was she doing? She pushed Calypso away, gasping out, "Zeus Almighty!" and holding her head.

"What? What's wrong?" Calypso asked, not relaxing his hold on her.

"This is!" she exclaimed, then spluttered out. "My husband could still be alive! He probably _is_ still alive. Why else would the World Government lie to me?"

"That coward doesn't deserve you."

Helena felt her heart flop. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve him," she breathed. "Oh, gods…"

This wasn't like her! She knew herself, and this was not at all like her. Sure, she liked Calypso. He had been kind and respectful to her, until now that is. Just who did he think he was, kissing the Queen like this? And she had noticed his hands starting to wander. Well, he'd told her his intentions weren't honorable from the start of their duel – he wanted to be her lover, not her husband.

But even if she liked him, that didn't mean she had ever intended to act on those feelings. She'd liked Troy quite a bit too, hadn't she? She knew better than to let her guard down around men. Especially men intentionally trying to charm her. Especially men like Calypso who were obviously so good at it. Just how many women had he been with before her, anyway? He certainly wasn't a novice at this kind of thing.

"Hey, the idea of your man being alive didn't bother you with your _last_ lover," Calypso pointed out.

"Who are you?" Helena asked, narrowing her eyes at him. "A god in disguise? Zeus Almighty, you're not Zeus are you?"

Calypso grinned at this. Oops. She hadn't meant it as a compliment.

"No, that's giving you way too much credit," she said, pushing him away with a hand to his chest. She stood and he overbalanced, arms helicoptering as he fell over. "The only other thing I can think of is a privateer, like the Schichibukai. Maybe you work for one of them."

"'Elena…" he started.

"But then why the whole lover gambit?" she thought aloud as he scrambled to get to his feet after her. "Anybody who's after power would be more interested in my hand than me. Hmm…I suppose you could be a bounty hunter, but if you're this good, you'd think people would have heard of you by now."

He grasped her hand, momentarily regaining his smooth composure.

"I find it sad that you live in such a constant state of suspicion, mon," Calypso informed her with quiet sincerity. "Isn't it possible that I'm just an ordinary man who's fallen in love with you?"

Helena laughed. Oh, he didn't like that. His expression went sour.

"No ordinary man could fight me like you just did," she pointed out, snatching her hand from his and shaking a finger at him. "Look, you really want to impress me? Tell me who you really are. If you can't do that I suggest you leave and not come back."

He gaped at her.

"Zoro was always straightforward with me. It's not just his swordsmanship that's the standard, you see," she said, her smile broadening. "He was also a better kisser. So there's that."

It was a low blow, but she wasn't feeling particularly merciful at the moment. She had the notion that saying it would hit Calypso where it counted. She was right. His brow furrowed and he mouthed at her, trying to form a coherent retort.

"Well, what else would you expect from a man who works out his mouth every day?" she giggled. Thinking about their workouts together hit her with a wave of happy nostalgia, and she sighed wistfully. "Gods, I miss that man. When I was around him I felt like I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. – he never let me sit around feeling sorry for myself. And he certainly never would have encouraged me to run from my responsibilities like a certain someone just did."

She glanced back at Calypso, who had his jaw clenched inside his mouth, biting back anger.

"What are you still doing here? If you don't have an ulterior motive for trying to get into my bed, I would think that I'd insulted you enough to get you to leave by now."

Maybe she ought to be a little more careful. She now knew the man was better than she was with a sword, and as she had just pointed out, she had no idea who he really was or what his motives were.

Thankfully the anger left his face, and his hands went nowhere near his swords. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he spoke in a calm, even tone:

"It gives me no pleasure to keep secrets from you, mon. For now it's better for everyone that you don't know who I am," he told her steadily, all the more charming now for having turned off the charm. "I am not an ordinary man, but moments like this I wish I was. Your husband is a lucky man."

Aw, Tartarus. He just had to be mature about it and make her feel awful for having verbally flayed him, didn't he? Well, she was definitely her father's daughter when it came to running at the mouth.

He held out a hand to her, and they shook.

"It was a good duel," he told her. "I hope your husband returns soon for your sake."

"He won't," Helena replied, grinning. "He's not to return until he's the world's greatest swordsman. He knows he's not welcome to show his face here until then."

"Oh, you're going to need him a lot sooner than that, mon," he said cryptically, turning to leave.

Helena had just turned a suspicious glance at the statue she had beheaded earlier, but the foreboding comment wasn't entirely lost on her. She looked sharply back toward him.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

He had disappeared.

Helena stared at the spot pensively for a moment, then turned her gaze back to Aphrodite. Narrowing her eyes, she raised her sword and pointed it at the round head lying in the water of the fountain:

"Try something like that again and your temple is next," she warned.

* * *

"Oh no! She found me out!" Aphrodite said with mock trepidation. "Unfortunately it's too late to do her any good. The damage has been done."

Hera giggled. "Poor little fox. Tune the mirror to Roronoa Zoro, would you Pumpkin? I want to see him mope."

"Roronoa?" Zeus asked with a start. "Wait, he didn't see all that did he?"

Hera and Aphrodite glanced at each other, realizing their mistake.

"I sent my storm to bring him here so he could help save Ilium! What have you two done?" Zeus thundered.

"I didn't do anything! It was all her!" Hera cried, pointing at Aphrodite. The Love Goddess glared at her.

Lightning started to gather in Zeus' sable beard as dark thundercaps formed around Olympus. In the sudden gloom, he grew larger like a billowing storm cloud, his voice a terrifying rumble.

"You vixens have caused nothing but trouble since that stupid beauty contest," he growled, electricity crackling about his person. "Perhaps I should destroy your beauty entirely so we never have to worry about it again."

A shaft of lightning appeared in each hand as he loomed threateningly over the cowering goddesses.

"Pumpkin, please!" Hera cried.

Heedless of her pleas, Zeus roared, launching the lightning.

He'd purposely missed by inches, but it was enough to scare the wits out of both goddesses. They fled the throne room, shrieking in dismay.

When they had gone, Zeus allowed himself to shrink back to a human size, sighing. He let the thunderclouds roll harmlessly away from the throne room. They would hit Ilium proper in a matter of minutes, causing a short cloudburst. Dionysus wouldn't like his festival being rained on, but it couldn't be helped now.

Turning to the scry glass, Zeus waved a hand, searching the image until he found a certain little green fox. The creature looked about as miserable as could be expected. Something had to be done.

Or perhaps something was already being done. From the looks of it, Athena was on the move. He shouldn't condone her attempt at interacting with a mortal, but as long as she didn't talk to him directly he might be able to let it slide.

Dipping a finger into the magic pool, Zeus again regained control of his storm, using it to guide the fox where he wanted.

"You're welcome, Athena," he smirked.

* * *

 _"Calypso Blue,"_ Zoro rumbled under his breath. " _What kind of name is Calypso Blue? –sounds like crayon. Or a stripper…"_

Zoro hadn't thought it would hurt like this.

Sure, he'd told Perona and Cygnus that he didn't care if Helena had a lover. That it would be easy to forgive her if she had, knowing that she thought he was dead. It was something else entirely though to actually watch her fall in love with another man.

Perhaps it wasn't even that so much as hearing her imply she regretted knowing him. That she wished the other guy had shown up first.

But who could really blame her? Calypso had a point when he said Helena deserved more. It was the truth that Zoro had kind of abandoned her. Oh, sure, she'd been the one who arranged to have the crew kidnap him, but she'd only done it because it was what he wanted deep down, and she knew it. If he'd really wanted to stay, the crew wouldn't have been able to stop him. Meanwhile all of the little rules and provisos Helena had come up with were meant to keep him as unchained and guilt free as possible, yet had left her bound here, struggling to move on when he'd been defeated by Kuma. He ought to be surprised that she'd held out for as long as she had.

He thought of how he'd found her crying in the garden. He knew her, knew what it took to reduce her to tears like that. The sad thing was, he'd made her cry like that before. It was a sure bet Mr. Calypso twinkle-toes Blue hadn't. The man hadn't struggled at all with courting her or telling her how beautiful she was. Zoro had failed so miserably at showing her he loved her that up until their actual wedding, Helena had been convinced he felt the opposite. It was a wonder he had ever won her heart in the first place.

"Muah ha ha ha! I have defeated Hewena the Sun Queen and now she's mine!" a young voice rang out. "Now I can stawrt my empiwre and take over the worwd!"

Zoro hadn't really paid much attention to where he was going. He'd wound up in one of the main streets of the city, where the City of Dionysus Festival was just getting underway. He glanced toward the sound of the voice and saw a young boy, no more than seven or so, waiving two sticks at an older kid who, by the looks of it, was probably his brother.

"No, Nemo!" the older kid replied, "I beat her before you did! That means to get to her you have to go through me!"

"Wowonoa Zowo!" the younger kid cried in mock anger. "How did you escape my powewrs? No matter! I kiwl you now!"

The older kid had three sticks in his hands. He clumsily shoved one in his mouth, then went on the attack, slashing at his brother with his makeshift swords.

Despite his recent heartbreak, Zoro couldn't help but stop and stare. The little twerps were reenacting his fight with Troy du Noir, making it up as they went because they obviously didn't know the real details of how it actually happened.

"Muah ha ha ha!" the younger brother evil laughed again, "You wiwl nevewr defeat me! No one can cut dawkness!"

"No one except me!" the older brother said. He lunged with one of his sticks, guiding it between the other kid's arm and his side so he could pretend to be stabbed.

"No! Aahhhhhhh!" the younger brother enacted a dramatic death while the elder one held up his sword stick in triumph.

"I saved Queen Helena!" he cried victoriously. "Now we'll get married and have a big party, and everyone gets free churros!"

 _And then I'll sail away and leave her to fall in love with some jerk with dreadlocks,_ Zoro thought miserably.

The younger kid jumped up. "Ok, my turn!"

"What? No!" the older one said as the younger tried to steal one of his sticks.

"You said I got to be Zowo next!" the kid whined. When the older one wouldn't give in, he started crying.

 _Trust me, kid. You wouldn't want to be me right now._

The fox turned away, taking in his surroundings through a weary eye. The street had been decked out with purple and green ribbons and streamers, and sported numerous stalls selling everything from food to toys to carved wooden masks. There was a stage at the end of the street where a band had started to set up. It was a bit early on for the festival to begin in earnest, but there were plenty of people already out in the streets, most wearing colorful costumes and painted masks.

A lot of the masks were more like half masks really – carved and wooden. They resembled the ones he'd seen the gods wearing; some in fact were exact imitations. Most were about the size of masquerade masks, but some were enormous, making their wearer look taller.

A little girl with bright orange hair caught his eye. She wore a sparkling gold cape and carried a fake wooden sword that had been spray painted to look golden. Was it his imagination, or was that little girl supposed to be dressed like Nami? Next he saw someone wearing a godlike wooden mask with a long nose. He recognized that face. Better not tell Usopp he'd been codified as an Iliad demi-God. At least he hadn't convinced anyone that he'd become an actual God or they'd never hear the end of it.

A mom and her child walked by, the mom wearing a purple chiton like the one Robin had worn when she'd been there. Her child wore a headband with reindeer antlers. They were dressed as the two heroes who'd rallied the people to save the Queen's life from Apollo's arrow.

A couple of guys walked past, teenagers who obviously thought they were too cool to dress up and so had done the bare minimum. One had drawn on a curly eyebrow. Another had dyed his hair green. Zoro saw a lot of green hair, actually. At first he thought nothing of it, but then he realized that it was an actual fashion trend among Iliad boys and teenagers, not just a costume for the festival. Cygnus couldn't be happy about that.

When they were a bit further down the street, the guy with the curly eyebrow said something snarky to his green haired companion, and a fist fight broke out. Zoro almost smiled.

And then he saw a young kid wearing a straw hat with a red band around it. The kid's mom had just handed him a souvlaki skewer, and he downed it in one gulp. "Was that good?" he asked, "Did I eat just like Straw Hat Luffy?"

"Yes, you did, honey," the mom said, grinning. "Praise be to the gods the day that man inspired you to actually finish your dinner."

Seeing a kid so like Luffy actually did coax a smile out of the despondent fox. Helena may have betrayed him, but at least he still had the crew, right?

Anyway, they were more of a family to him than she had ever been. Hadn't he sailed with them much longer than he'd been with her? Three weeks, they'd known one another. Three bare weeks. In fact, he'd accepted her marriage proposal after knowing her for one! Why on earth did they think that had been enough time? Did they think they were living in a fairy tale?

Well, the fairy tale was over.

The smile he'd momentarily regained had disappeared by now, and he stopped mid-street, staring at nothing. Honor had driven him to accept her proposal in order to save her kingdom and her life from the likes of Troy. It had been honor, not love. He had never loved her, he told himself forcibly. And she had never loved him.

Well, what did honor dictate he do now? Helena was going to be assassinated tonight. Angry and hurt as he was, he didn't exactly want her dead. He'd really rather not see or speak to her again, but could the others really handle it without him?

The band at the end of the street struck up a tune. Some song he'd never heard of about some Heretic Queen who'd declared war on Hera for killing her baby or something. He didn't really know enough about Ilium's history to recognize the story.

Lightning crashed overhead before the song really got underway, not that Zoro was paying much attention to it anyway. Clouds appeared out of nowhere, and soon everyone on the street let out a collective cry as a sudden downpour drove them to find shelter.

Amidst the helter-skelter of dashing, splashing feet, the green fox just trudged despondently on, still trying to make up his mind about what he should do. Soon he was too cold and soaked to care.

Glancing around, he found he'd left the street and ended up in a wide, abandoned plaza. The only shelter in sight happened to be a large, imposing temple of rose colored stone. He recognized the helmeted goddess' statue in front of it. It belonged to Athena.

He never would have guessed that the storm had intentionally led him here. Trying to shake himself dry as he'd seen dogs do, he made his way to Athena's statue and found a dry place beneath its plinth where he could watch the rain.

His stomach rumbled. Well, they hadn't exactly had a chance to eat a decent lunch, or any truly decent sort of meal since they'd crashed here. Exhausted, hungry and depressed, Zoro flopped down, resting his head on his paws. Soon his eye grew heavy, and he fell fast asleep.

* * *

He should have expected to dream of her.

At first the dream was nothing more than flashes of memory, many of them hostile. He remembered the first time they'd locked eyes with each other at sea. It wasn't exactly love at first sight. He was trying to stop her from killing the crew, and she was hell-bent on keeping them from descending on her already besieged kingdom. It had been storming then, too.

He dreamed of stabbing her through the shoulder, ending their second duel in his victory. That's what had started this whole mess. He'd beaten her a third time too, when he'd had to keep her stupid drunken self from hurting anybody in the last round of the tournaments.

Everything else passed in a flurry of images. Fighting Troy. Finding her dead. Trying to fight Hades and ultimately succumbing.

One moment stood out for some reason. It was torturous to watch, but he saw between flashes of angry memories the moment Apollo shot her with his arrow. Her echoing scream of pain still haunted him to this day.

It was that scream that jolted him into a different memory, one he didn't talk about, or even think about if he could help it. At first glance it was something completely unrelated to her, but he knew better. Helena had helped him to survive one of the most harrowing experiences of his life, and she didn't even know it.

He dreamt of Kuma.

He dreamt of taking on his captain's pain.

Though he couldn't exactly feel the pain in the dream, he remembered it vividly. Though he knew it was a dream, he felt the same sense of agonized dread as if he were staring death in the face all over again.

And he remembered how the memory of her had come unbidden to him then, in the very midst of his agony. How he had not seen, but rather felt her presence as though she stood behind him, holding him up. Even then he'd known it was the memory of her, not her actual person that bolstered him, but he had seemed to hear her say:

"If I could bear the pain of a million, you can bear the pain of one."

 _This isn't just any one person's pain_ , he had tried to plead with her as the agony made him yearn for death. _This is Luffy's. His body can withstand things mine can't._

"You promised you'd come back to me," she had told him sternly. " –promised me, your Captain, and your friend, Kuina that you would become the World's Strongest. You will not die here. We won't allow it."

Memories of the other two people she'd mentioned made it seem as if they too stood beside him.

"Still not strong enough," Kuina simpered at him. "You've got a long way to go, Zoro."

 _Like you can talk, kid. You fell down a freakin' staircase._

"Zoro, who said you could die in my place!" Luffy snapped.

"You're supposed to be stronger than me, Zoro," Helena's memory reminded him. "Apollo's arrow was a million times worse than this."

 _Yeah. And it killed you. Unless your father's going to show up and argue with Hades for me, I don't think I've really got a choice here. Maybe if I were at my full strength…_

"Lame excuse," Kuina cut in cheekily.

"Zoro, I've come to a decision," Luffy put in as though he'd thought it out. "You're not allowed to die."

 _Dammit, Luffy…_

"Don't fall," Helena told him. "Don't fall. Don't budge. Help will come. You know your friends will come."

When the pain finally ended, Hades appeared, all dressed in black but for a bone white, expressionless mask. He held a long, elegant hand toward the Swordsman invitingly.

The mask still had a crack in it, held together by Band-Aids. Apparently still frightened of Zoro's Captain, the God of Death did not forcibly try to take him. Instead he tried to lure him with the sound of Kuina's voice, tempting him to rest.

The other memories didn't say anything more to him, but he seemed to feel Helena still there behind him, holding him up.

"You promised…" she pled. "You promised you'd come back to me…"

Thinking of her and the others gave him the strength to cross his arms and glare Death in the face. He could feel the gold pomegranate blossom forming on his hand, but he refused to look down at it, to look away from Hades for even a second.

 _I'm not going anywhere,_ he thought to Hades, lacking the strength to speak. _Just try and take me. I'll smash that mask clean off your face._

After what felt like hours, Sanji finally came, the blossom disappeared, and Hades fled.

Zoro had almost forgotten what Helena had been to him in that moment. In making her provisos, she had forged herself into a talisman. –A talisman that wouldn't allow him to die until his promises to her were met, like Kuina and like Luffy.

Only unlike with Kuina or Luffy, Helena had purposely sacrificed her own needs to become this for him. Though he gave her the chance, the temptation to make him stay with her, she had given him up because she loved him like no other woman ever could, or even should.

The dream shifted, and Zoro found himself again facing Kuma in Grove 12. The sound of bubbles popping clued him in to where he was. Only this wasn't a memory this time. If it had been a memory, Zoro would have had his swords.

Instead he stood facing the Warlord, swordless, powerless. Not that he'd been able to do much of anything the last time. He heard a scream. That sounded like Helena.

"Zoro, no!" she cried, and he turned to see her running toward him. What was that bundle she was carrying? It looked like…

…a baby?

It _was_ a baby. A newborn. Somehow he knew at first glance that it was a boy.

"Get back!" Zoro warned. She too was swordless. What did she think she was doing?

Despite his warnings, his wife soon stood behind him as Kuma charged up one of his beams. Zoro turned to Helena to try and push her out of the way just as the beam struck him in the back. It passed through him, hit the baby, hit her.

A woman laughed. It sounded like that stupid peacock goddess, Hera.

* * *

Zoro woke with a start.

The rain had stopped and the clouds had passed. The sun had just started its descent. Zoro sneezed, noticing for the first time the grey owl feather resting on the end of his nose.

" _Ok, I'm asking!_ " he roared, popping up onto all four paws and turning to the statue of Athena. " _What the Hell was that supposed to mean?"_

He got no response.

" _Don't pretend you don't understand me!"_ he growled. " _Why was Helena at Grove 12? And why was she carrying a kid…?"_

Though Athena still didn't answer, his eye widened, and he took a step away from her, stumbling over his tail.

" _You've got to be kidding me,"_ he said in realization, staring back up at her from where he now sat in a rain puddle.

Athena still didn't respond.

" _Answer me!"_ He let loose a stream of profanities that would have made even Sanji blush. Festival goers, now out in force with the rain out of the way, stopped to stare as a little green fox shook his paw and yipped maniacally at the silent idol.

" _At least send your stupid bird!"_ Zoro snarled at last.

To his surprise he actually heard the flapping of wings. Turning sharply, he saw, not Athena's owl, but a big, blue-eyed white goose with fluffy eyebrows and a curlicue of a beard.

" _There you are_ ," Cygnus honked, descending to land beside him. " _I've been looking all over for you, fool! We're running out of time."_

" _You,_ " Zoro growled, all of his fur standing on end. Cygnus took a step back in alarm as Zoro showed all his teeth. " _Just when were you planning on telling me that I have a son?"_


	10. Chapter 10 - Plans Go Awry

Note from the Author: So I haven't wanted to say anything and jinx it, but it looks like Fridays are my new update days (if the past few weeks have been any indication). I've found a writing groove lately. Let's hope it lasts.

Thanks again for the reviews, etc! So I haven't heard anyone theorize about who Calypso might be. You're about to find out; I'd love to hear what your theories were prior to this chapter. Did any of you guess right?

* * *

Ch. 10 – Plans Go Awry

In one of the festively bedecked streets of Mycenae, a drum-maker sat with his wares. He'd managed to save most of them from the sudden downpour a few minutes earlier; his stall had a nice canvas covering, so he got to kick back while some of the other vendors had scrambled to save their merchandise.

He held a Ukulele, which he strummed with deft fingers, casually making up a tune as a means of attracting passersby.

 _When you meet a beautiful woman, beware_

 _Her smile is a trap, mon, her eyes are a snare!_

 _She'll kiss you, then lose you, and say fair is fair_

 _Then go find another with never a care._

"Blue, I didn't expect to see you out here!"

Calypso looked up to see Sirena, wearing a sequined dress meant to evoke a mermaid if the shells in her curls were any indication. She removed a glittering silver mask when she saw him, revealing eyebrows knit in concern

"Weren't you going to try to win over Queen Helena?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't think that woman can be won, mon," Calypso replied as nonchalantly as he could. "She's got a heart of stone."

"She turned you down, huh?" Orpheus put in with a yawn that turned into a smirk. He too was dressed like some sort of sea creature. Sirena had him by the arm. "I bet that had to hurt."

Calypso kept strumming and didn't respond, which made Orpheus laugh.

"I'm right, aren't I? Ya ha ha…! Oof!"

Sirena had just nudged him in the ribs.

"Hey, we're about to go perform at the docks," Sirena told him, smiling. "You should come play with us. You might be able to sell a few more drums that way."

"Nah, I'm good mon," Calypso insisted.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out this time, Blue. I wouldn't give up on her, though," Sirena went on. "She's had it really rough with men, you know."

"By her choosing," Orpheus pointed out under his breath, then purposely yawned when Sirena shot a glare his way.

"And she really loved her husband, too," Sirena went on, ignoring him.

"Tell me about it, mon," Calypso replied despondently, then muttered: "Better kisser my a—"

He spoke so quietly Sirena hadn't heard him. She might have smacked him for the foul language otherwise.

"Well, see you around, Blue," she said. "Oh, Homer! Wait!" She took off after the owner of _Homer's_ , saving him from blindly stumbling into a stall of glasswork.

"I'm surprised to see you two out and about, mon," Calypso said to Orpheus, barely audible over his ukulele. "You trying to get her killed?"

"What's that matter to you?" Orpheus shot back, though he kept his voice equally quiet. "You never protect the women you're with."

"I never go after women who deserve the protection," Calypso retorted. "You just had to marry a sweet girl like that, didn't you?"

"Whatever. It wasn't a problem until you showed up," Orpheus growled. "Anyway, it's not like I could have kept her from the festival without being obvious. I'll just keep her away from the palace wine. You think the Navy's plan is going to work?"

"Maybe," Calypso replied. "You'd better hope so. If not, you can kiss your sweet little wife goodbye, mon. I've got orders from the top. If we have to mobilize, anybody who's formed a family here will have to annihilate them."

"You bastard," Orpheus breathed. "You come waltzing in here like you know what it's like. Some of us have been undercover for decades. The dress maker at the palace for instance…"

Calypso suddenly shot up, grabbing Orpheus by the collar of his shirt and pulling him down to his eye-level. "You all knew what you were getting into when you were assigned here," Calypso snarled in his face. "You can't talk, anyway. You've been here less than five years."

"Yeah, well, Cipher Pole 4 has been in this country for centuries," Orpheus pleaded, trying not to look him in the face. "And not once has this unit been mobilized."

"You expect me to feel sorry for you, mon?" Calypso growled, releasing him. He settled back down with his ukulele as Orpheus stumbled to the ground, eyes wide. "They say the laziest agents choose this unit thinking they can escape having to work; evidently you are one of them."

Orpheus had no response to this. It was obviously true.

"Get out of my sight," he ordered, then added with less venom: "You're starting to draw attention, mon."

"Damn womanizer," Orpheus spat. "It's no wonder you couldn't seduce the Queen. She's got standards, after all. I bet she heard all about your reputation in town. That nickname you've carried from island to island."

"Oh, she has. Only she doesn't think the stories are about me, mon, and when she hears them she doesn't believe them," he said, grinning his charming, toothy grin. "Before that there was someone else here with the same nickname."

"I bet that had to be a blow to your ego."

"I will find that man one day, mon," Calypso said, still grinning. "And I will end him. After all, there can only be one Hurricane Lover."

* * *

" _Alright, Hurricane, just calm down…"_ Cygnus started, holding his wings out defensively in front of him.

Tacking on the old nickname certainly didn't help. Especially considering what Zoro had just discovered about Helena having a paramour. He pushed that detail out of his mind. Cygnus didn't need to know about Calypso. But Zoro definitely needed to know about his son.

" _You purposely kept this from me, didn't you!"_ he barked. " _Why?"_

 _"Look, if you hadn't noticed, the sun is starting to set. Can't we talk about this later?"_

Zoro growled in response.

" _Hold that thought,"_ Cygnus said. He raised his wings and started hissing. For a moment Zoro thought he was trying to put on some macho, animalistic display to try and intimidate him.

As it turned out, it wasn't him the king was trying to intimidate. A pair of toga'd policeman had started sneaking up on Zoro with a net. They balked at the sight of the angry goose, tripping backward away from him in surprise.

" _They think you're rabid,"_ Cygnus informed him out of the corner of his beak.

" _Oh, I'll show them rabid,"_ Zoro snarled. " _When I tear a certain goose limb from limb!"_

" _That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?"_

Zoro released a vulpine snarl, letting his father-in-law know he was done playing games. The latter flinched, but quickly regained his composure.

" _Fine, fine. But we might need to find somewhere a little more private to talk,"_ he conceded. " _Bear with me, this may or may not work…"_

The policemen were just recovering from their initial shock. Now convinced they had two wild animals to catch, they rallied themselves, their large nets in hand.

Cygnus hissed at them again, flapping his wings and holding them open wide. The policemen flinched, shooting each other nervous glares.

"You get him," one said.

"No YOU get him."

If Zoro weren't in such a foul mood, he might have been impressed. The King specialized in fighting his battles with his sharp tongue, and occasionally his toes; Zoro hadn't realized that Cygnus had anything of a warrior in him. Perhaps becoming an animal had made him bolder.

"Fine," the first policemen said, "I'll get the angry goose. You get the diseased, green fox."

" _Diseased?"_ Zoro snorted indignantly.

" _Alright, here goes nothing,"_ Cygnus honked.

He'd given himself enough space to get at least something of a running start. He took to the air, albeit clumsily, then circled back and grabbed Zoro by the ears with his webbed goose toes.

" _OW!"_ Zoro barked, writhing. " _Are you insane?"_

 _"I've been accused of worse!"_ Cygnus laughed. " _Now stop your wiggling, you ninny. That is, unless you want me to drop you."_

The Priests of Athena still talk of the day that a goose landed on top of their Lady's temple. Well versed in augury, this particular bird-sign had them flummoxed. They knew what it meant for a hawk to arrive carrying a snake for example, but a white goose carrying a green fox? Was it good luck or bad? The omen remained an unsolved mystery in the centuries to come, something for scholars to talk of in superior, analytic tones.

Cygnus released Zoro none to gently on the slanted stone rooftop, leaving the fox to scramble for footing. He might have blamed the goose for doing it on purpose if Cygnus hadn't crash landed a moment later, obviously still not fully used to his avian body. Fortunately for both of them, the temple had a flat lip at the edge of the roof, giving them a somewhat comfortable, or at least not slanted place to sit.

The temple towered above the street below, keeping them out of sight and soon out of mind of the police and other slightly alarmed festival goers below. It also offered a fantastic view of the white marble palace, even though they were nearer to Mycanae than the city center.

Zoro planted himself on the lip of the roof, catching Cygnus by the tail feathers with a ready paw when the king nearly rolled off. He honked out his thanks, and soon had found himself a comfortable perch.

To all appearances, Zoro's initial anger had cooled. He stared at the palace in silence, waiting for the King to speak.

" _Listen…"_ Cygnus started after he'd smoothed his ruffled feathers _. "This really isn't a great time to go into all of this."_

Zoro said nothing. The rosy light of evening painted the pillars of the distant palace a light coral pink, but they still had another couple of hours at least.

 _"Don't you care what happens to Helena?"_

Zoro didn't twitch.

" _Wait, you are going to help us follow through with Perona's plan, aren't you?"_

" _I never agreed to anything,"_ Zoro pointed out, still staring at the distant palace. " _You can make it work without me."_

" _Hmph,"_ Cygnus grumped. " _You two and your stupid rules. You really think she doesn't want to see your face right now? Helena needs you."_

 _"My_ son _, Cygnus,"_ Zoro reminded him.

" _She loves you, too,"_ the King said flatly. _"Gods only know why. When you died she was devastated. The sooner she learns you're alright…"_

" _My SON, Cygnus,"_ Zoro emphasized, his hackles rising again as he tried to ignore the stabbing sensation in his chest at Cygnus' words.

" _You told me when you married her that you knew you couldn't give her what she deserved,"_ Cygnus harumphed. He seemed awfully eager to change the subject. " _I guess you were right."_

 _"Yeah, I guess I was!"_ Zoro snarled. " _You know, she told me the main reason she wanted to find a husband strong enough to protect her when she couldn't defend herself; her mother died in childbirth because_ you _couldn't save her."_ Cygnus had dealt him a low blow, he didn't see why he couldn't do the same. " _One of her greatest fears was childbirth, and I wasn't there for her. How could I have been when no one even thought to tell me she was pregnant?!"_

 _"Helena wouldn't let us,"_ Cygnus informed him, his feathers starting to stick up the more ruffled he got emotionally. " _Those stupid rules she made…"_

 _"You seem awfully set on me breaking them now,"_ Zoro reminded him.

" _Maybe because I've learned we should have broken them before,"_ Cygnus said heavily, deflating. He sighed and looked away. " _Zoro, you don't have a son…"_

" _Don't try to lie to me…!"_ Zoro started.

" _Let me finish,"_ Cygnus snapped, meeting his gaze now. " _You don't_ have _a son, you_ had _a son."_

 _"What…?"_ A wave of foreboding swept over him, and his ears flattened involuntarily against his head.

 _"His name was Telemachus du Helena et Zoro,"_ Cygnus went on quietly, avoiding Zoro's gaze. " _He's dead."_

There couldn't have been a worse possible moment for a stampede of bulls to come barreling through the street. Led by a little brown rabbit who rode the fastest of the pack while holding a tiny stick in the air, the herd crashed into a large stack of barrels on one of the street corners, shattering all of them before moving on to another pile just down the way.

Zoro barely witnessed the incredible scene unfolding on the street below them. The sudden revelation about his son made him feel as though he had nemomora poisoning again. –the sound seemed to disappear around him, like he had suddenly been dunked underwater. A chill washed over him in a feverish wave, and he saw his dream over and over again in his mind's eye. -Saw the beam of light pass through him to hit Helena and their child.

Hector led his bovine troops onward, and the ruckus died down almost as quickly as it had started.

" _It looks like that part of the plan worked at least,"_ Cygnus muttered.

" _What happened to him?"_ Zoro asked. His voice was steady, though his body shook with emotion. " _How did he die?"_

Cygnus bowed his head, but didn't respond.

 _"Tell me!"_ Zoro demanded.

Cygnus sighed heavily. " _If you want to know that, you'll need to talk to Helena herself,"_ he said.

A new chill washed over Zoro, but this time it had nothing to do with emotion. He recognized the prickly pins-and-needles type of feeling from when Circe had transformed him into a fox earlier that day. He saw his nose shrink, felt his ears settle themselves to the sides rather than the top of his head. His skin started to glow beneath his fur, itching as it elongated back into his normal human limbs.

A moment later, the goose and the fox no longer sat on the temple roof. They'd been replaced by their human counterparts.

Cygnus staggered, nearly falling face forward off of the roof as he flapped his long lanky arms to no affect. Zoro caught him by the belt of his pleated royal robe, yanking him back so he stumbled and landed on his now featherless backside.

"Well!" Cygnus gasped, his golden laurel crown askew. "It looks like Perona defeated Circe a mite early!"

He was just as tall and gangly as Zoro remembered, but he'd definitely put on some muscle. It made sense. When he and Zoro had first met, Cygnus had only recently recovered the strength to walk free of a wheelchair. Still, the muscle had more tone than Zoro might have expected. The king also had a sword strapped to his side; a longsword Zoro recognized as belonging to Cygnus, though he'd never actually seen the man carry it.

Zoro had reappeared in the same clothes he'd fought Circe in. He pulled the paper bag off of his head, eyeing it in distaste before he crumpled it and tossed it onto the street below.

"I'm going to need a better mask," Zoro said flatly. "That one's a liability."

"You didn't see that to begin with?" Cygnus asked, one fluffy eyebrow raised. He adjusted the crown over his prematurely white hair, tightening his ponytail to keep the flyaways out of his face. "Does this mean you're going to see Helena then?"

"You don't really leave me much of a choice," Zoro pointed out in ill humor.

Cygnus smiled. Stroking his well-groomed goatee, he looked Zoro once over thoughtfully.

"Hmm, well, I guess we can be glad Perona's plan went slightly awry. You look like a castaway," he wrinkled his nose. "Smell like one too. Come, let's get you ready."

"I'm not making some grand entrance," Zoro insisted. "Let's just find Helena and tell her about the assassination."

"Yes, yes," Cygnus said absentmindedly staring at the street below. "Roronoa, we have a bit of a problem."

"What?" Zoro grunted.

Cygnus looked up at him, fluffy brows knitted in concern. "How do we get down?"

* * *

"Bad business at the palace tonight, mon," the drum-maker said to the short, portly man inspecting his wares. The vendor had one of his own drums in his lap, and beat on it from time to time to show off its pleasant, hollow sound.

"Bad business, you say?" his customer replied, stroking his magnificent white mustache. "Don't tell me you've grown attached to the Queen."

"If she'd have run away with me, she would have survived."

"Oh ho ho!" the man laughed loudly, clutching his round belly. "You tried to seduce her after all, did you? After I warned you at the outset of this mission that it wouldn't work. I shouldn't be surprised." He stuck a bubble pipe in his mouth, puffing a few bubbles into the darkening air. "You do tend to string women along like it's your job, mm? But why try to undermine Regent's plan?"

"There's no guarantee that it will work, mon," Calypso said quietly. "But if I could have gotten 'Elena to fall in love with me, I'd have neutralized her as a threat, no? Then our stupid, lazy agents wouldn't have to mobilize and embarrass themselves."

"I suppose," Mr. Bags mused. "At least for a time. You'd have to marry her for that to fully work though."

"I would have gotten to that, mon," Calypso pointed out. "If Roronoa showed up, I'd have killed him in combat, simple enough. Then she'd have seen me as worthy of the throne. If he didn't show up, well, with me as her lover I doubt she'd have chosen another."

"You're that confident, are you?" Bags laughed again. "It's not like you could have stayed true to her."

"Keeping a woman isn't about staying true," Calypso said. He picked up another one of his drums. "None of these instruments care how many I play, so long as I fully appreciate the beauty of their individual voice while I play them. You see the woman you're with the moment you're with her, enjoy her uniqueness and beauty, then move on when the tune is done."

"Blue, you'd as soon kill any one of your lovers as make love to them," Bags reminded him. The words implied disgust, but the musician knew better. Bags had assigned him over this mission particularly for his ruthlessness. If there was anyone who could whip CP4 into shape, it was Calypso Blue.

"Which is why making the Queen one of mine would neutralize her, yes?" he pointed out, smirking as he continued to play on one of the drums. "It's a lot easier to slip a knife between someone's ribs when you've got her in your arms, mon."

"Hmm, well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. You've been flirting with her from the beginning, like it's your job…"

"Hard to resist," Calypso interjected with a grin.

"But why wait until the last minute to try to, as you say, make her one of yours?" Bags asked.

"I don't go after women that don't deserve to be played," Calypso said, shrugging. "Even I'm not that heartless. Any woman I get close to must be dispensable."

"Are you implying she is no longer a good woman?"

"Oh, she's got a lover, mon," he said. "She's pretended moral superiority all this time, but I saw her meet up with him on her balcony just this morning."

"Wait, you don't mean Paris, do you? The one you challenged to a duel like it's your job?" Bags asked.

"That's the one, mon," Calypso said, confidently tapping away on his drum.

"Paris du Priam?" Bags repeated in disbelief.

"Yup."

"Paris du Priam. The Head of Palace Security who's been pretending to be one of her suitors so he could gather information on all of you, Paris du Priam?" Bags said flatly, one eyebrow lifted in disbelief. "Helena's undercover agent who would have every reason to meet with her in private so as not to blow his cover, Paris du Priam? THAT Paris du Priam?"

Calypso's jolly drum beats slowed. "Uh…"

"You nitwit!" Bags exclaimed.

"For the record," Calypso said, tenting his fingers pensively in front of him, "You never told me he was the Head of her Security."

"I didn't think I had to!" Bags cried, throwing his fat hands in the air. "It was OBVIOUS! You were there for almost two years, and you didn't notice him taking pictures of everyone?!"

"Hey, she admitted he was her lover, mon!" Calypso defended.

"Of course she did!" Bags spat. "She wouldn't want to blow his cover. Not to mention we now have it on good authority that she's been hiding…!"

He stopped short as a herd of bulls came charging through the already vacant side street. Most of the festival goers had left to watch the performance at the docks, so the bulls continued almost entirely unimpeded to the end of the street, where stood a stack of barrels marked with the royal seal. The soldiers set to guard the barrels could do nothing but leap aside as the herd trampled the wine into a muddy, splintered, undrinkable mess.

"Uh, is it just me, or was there a rabbit riding one of those cows…?" Calypso spluttered, wide-eyed.

"Drat it all! Was there?" Bags cursed under his breath.

"He was holding a twig like a spear, mon," Calypso said.

"That means these are Captain Circe's…!"

The cows and their rabbity leader suddenly let off a warm golden light. In a matter of seconds, hooves branched out into feet and hands, snouts shrank into noses, moos turned to shouts. The bovine army turned back into a regular army.

The men got off of their hands and knees, slapping each other on the back and laughing.

"Huzzah!"

"We're back!"

"Phew! I thought that woman was going to turn us into beef steak!"

"Uh, General…?"

The last comment came from an average sized soldier, who currently shook beneath the enormous bulk of the infamous General Hector de Andromache. The massive man let out a big-hearted laugh, dismounting from the poor young soldier's shoulders before he collapsed.

"Alright men!" the General cried, tossing the twig aside and raising a real spear this time. "We've still got the rest of Mycanae to clear! Spread out, spread the word! The Palace wine is off limits!"

"Hmm, it would appear Regent's plan is already going awry," Bags murmured.

"Your orders, mon?" Calypso asked under his breath.

"Do nothing for now," he replied. "I need to get in touch with the Vice Admiral. If Circe's been defeated, chances are King Cygnus has escaped, and they'll need to call off the assassination. Taking down the Kingdom requires a coordinated attack or we'll have the god powers to worry about."

"Think he'll listen to you?" Calypso asked dubiously.

Bags sighed. "I have to try. In the meantime, do nothing until I've contacted you. Got that?"

Calypso saluted jauntily. "Like it's my job, mon."


	11. Ch 11 - No Match for the Ghost Princess

Note from the Author: See, I totally jinxed it. As soon as I said I had an update schedule, I wasn't able to get the chapter written in time.

So, FYI I imagine Nausicaa talking like Jimmy Fallon's "Ew" girl. (Also, that little boy pretending to be Troy a few chapters back is totally Cat Bug from Bravest Warriors. Circe sounds like Apple Jack from My Little Pony. Yeah, call Oda...I've already got my voice actors picked out, ha ha!)

* * *

Ch. 11 – No Match for the Ghost Princess

With her abnormally large eyes abnormally larger than usual, Perona stared down at the woman in overalls lying unconscious at her feet. Beating Circe had been a good deal easier than she had anticipated, and it was putting her in a foul mood.

"You ruined our plans, I hope you know!" she shouted to the unconscious captain. "Now Zoro won't be able to make his dramatic, romantic entrance! Geez, what's wrong with the navy these days?"

She turned to another unconscious woman, well, more a girl really, wearing a Navy ball cap.

"You weren't much help at all!" Perona added. "Couldn't you have at least TRIED to make it a fight?"

She turned to her ghosts. "Humph. Well, obviously they were just no match for one of Moria-sama's commanders," she said, shrugging. "I guess I had better get back to the others. Holo-holo-holo-holo!"

* * *

Early that morning, Captain Circe would never have believed she could be beaten at all, much less by a spritely young woman with pig tails. She had her fair share of worries though as she called her men to order.

"Listen here, you no good bleaters," she said, marching through their ranks with her hands clasped behind her back. She wore her captain's jacket over a pair of well-mucked overalls, her frizzy red hair barely tamed into a pair of braids on either side of her head. "You'd better have good news for me, or poor Bruce over there will end up on the Vice Admiral's dinner plate."

Poor Bruce honked despondently from where Circe had tied him up to the barn with a leash of old, fraying rope. He wasn't quite as pure white a goose as the king, but he'd do in a pinch, grey feathers and all.

Circe listened with growing impatience as one after another her marines reported that their search through the night and into the morning had proven fruitless; Ilium's King remained at large. When they had finished fessing up to their failure, Circe eyed them all disdainfully.

"Alright, back to being sheep then, you useless good for nothings," she grumped. "Baaa!" At the sound her cadets started to glow. Their white marine uniforms seemed to puff out and frizz, their faces turned long and ebony black. Within a few moments, Circe had a herd of a few dozen sheep gazing at her despondently.

"Wow, that's, like, totes awful," a squealy voice said, drawing Circe's gaze. "Like, what are you going to do, Mom?"

The Captain turned to where her sixteen-year-old daughter sat chawing away at a sliver of neon green mint chewing gum. 'Bring-Your-Daughter-to-Work Day' couldn't have fallen at a worse time.

"Nausicaa, darlin, could you chew a little less loudly? Momma's tryin' to think."

Nausicaa stuck her tongue out, revealing one of her many piercings. Honestly, what had her father been thinking, letting her perforate herself like that while Circe was away on the job? That's what she got for marrying a city slicker.

"An' fix yer hat, fer Pete's sake!"

The Navy ball cap Circe had given her sat at a jaunt over the girl's pastel rainbow hair. Despite her mother's commands, the girl did nothing to adjust it so it would actually serve its purpose, and used her hand instead to shield her eyes from the sun.

"So, like, are you really going to feed that dude to the Vice Admiral?" Nausicaa asked, carefully using a wrapper to take the gum from her mouth before flicking it to the ground. "That's, like, totes cray cray."

"Only if we don't find the king, darlin'," Circe informed her as the teen pulled out a king-sized candy bar and started peeling away the wrapper. "I've got to keep order in them there ranks. Brucey over there fell asleep on the job and let the King sneak away, y'see."

"So you're, like, going to feed the King to Regent if you catch him then?" Nausicaa asked, face contorted in disgust. "Mom, that's like, cannibalism, isn't it? Ew!"

"It's not cannibalism," Circe insisted. "Not if they're in the form of animals."

"Well, um, if you say so, I guess," Nausicaa said with her mouth full of chocolate. "Oh Em Gee! Didn't that cadet say Regent is going to eat you instead if you, like, don't deliver? You can't turn _yourself_ into a goose, and, like, if you could, like, why would you?"

Circe decided it was best not to frighten her daughter by telling her that though Regent had never eaten a human in human form so far as she knew, she wouldn't put it past him. After all, he was part dragon.

"Let's just find the royal pain before it comes to that, hm?" Circe said.

"Ok, well, I've noticed someone in the field for the past few minutes," Nausicaa said, tossing her candy wrapper on the ground. Circe said nothing to protest the litter. "Like, do you want me to check it out with my powers?"

"Why else would I let you toss yer garbage all over my field?" Circe snapped. "Make yerself useful, darlin'!"

Nausicaa closed her eyes and for a moment the piles of litter at her feet dimmed to the color of old newspaper, albeit so briefly that if one blinked they'd have missed it. A moment later, Nausicaa's eyes shot open and she smiled.

"Your goose is, like, over there with, like, two other people. One of them's a girl with big pink pigtail's. The other's got one of my bags over his face. El Oh El." She giggled. "Must be totes ugly. He's way ripped though, and he's got some swords, too."

"One of the Queen's soldiers, maybe?"

"I'unno," Nausicaa shrugged. "He's, like, not wearing a uniform. Oh, General Rabbit is with them too."

"Hmm…well, what are we waiting for? Let's call the herd over!"

She lifted up a large cowbell and started to ring it. Not that the bell served any real purpose, it just made her feel more like a rancher. She'd found it in the dilapidated barn.

Next she started to yodel. Nausicaa covered her ears at the sound –naturally, because Circe was so loud; it had nothing to do with the quality of her yodeling of course. She had always had a special talent for yodeling.

"Get out of sight, darlin'," Circe instructed her as the rumble of a cattle stampede announced their approach. "You just let your momma handle this."

"But moooom, can't I help? I'm good for more than spying!" the girl whined and Circe shot her a glare. Nausicaa pouted stubbornly, forcing her mother to change up the yodeling a bit.

The teenager's eyes widened beneath her heavily painted eyelids as in a hypnotized trance the sheep soldiers all started crowding around the fence post on which she sat. They nudged and pushed her until she was forced to stand up, then nudged her some more. She stumbled and squealed loudly about gross, dirty animals and how she was getting mud on her converse shoes. Soon she disappeared behind the side of the barn furthest from the field.

Leaving a few of her disguised sheep soldiers to guard Nausicaa, Circe allowed the rest to meander back into the barnyard. They played the part of sheep convincingly mostly because she'd had them disguised like this off and on for a while. They knew better than to complain by now.

A moment later the cows came into sight, running toward the sonorous sound of Circe's voice. She immediately noticed the big swordsman her daughter had warned her about. He stood on the bare back of the largest of the herd – a big, mean looking, orange bull with a bushy beard hiding his muzzle. The Queen's General, trapped in rabbit form, sat perched on the swordsman's shoulder. The clever rodent had tied his ears under his chin to keep from falling under her spell.

Her goose, however, was nowhere in sight. Nor did she see the girl her daughter had mentioned.

"Well, boy howdy. Ain't it nice to have company." She leaned her mature, squat frame back against the side of the barn, taking a piece of wheat from her front overall pocket and sticking it between her teeth.. "What do they call you in these here parts, Cyclops?"

"Thanks for the lift, big guy," the swordsman said to the bull he'd been riding, ignoring her for the time being. He leapt nimbly off of his bovine steed, landing with perfect balance atop the fence post her daughter had been sitting on earlier. "If I had to venture a guess, I'd say you're probably Menelaus."

The bull nodded, free of Circe's power a few seconds after she stopped yodeling.

"I see you know these fellas," Circe went on. She acted nonchalant, but her nerves were on high alert as she eyed the three katana at his side. "You a friend of the king's then?"

"Something like that," the Cyclops replied. He eyed her in the same way she eyed him, pretending to be nonchalant though he kept one of his swords a thumbswidth out of it sheath. It surprised her a bit. She usually had a way with getting people to lower their guard: the accent helped, and generally people didn't expect much out of a slightly flabby, older woman. "You the Navy Captain I've been hearing about?"

Circe turned to show him the seagull on her dirty white coat, pointing at it with her thumb. "I guess that depends on what you've been hearing about me, stranger."

"Only that a certain goose I know would rather I take you down before he ends up on someone's dinner plate." The swordsman jumped down from his post, crouching into a fighter's stance now, though he didn't draw.

"You mind tellin' me where that feathered fella's got himself off to?" Circe asked, grinning as winning a grin as she could muster. "I'm in a right fix without him."

"Yeah, I bet you are," the Cyclops said, narrowing his eye.

"So where's your girlie friend?" she went on, still leaning against the barn. "She planning on ambushing me or something? Or did she run off with my goose?"

The Cyclops didn't say anything, eye still narrowed beneath the paper bag. The rabbit leapt off of his shoulder in preparation for the inevitable fight.

While Circe hadn't gotten the swordsman to lower his guard, she had managed to keep his attention on her. He didn't seem to notice as the herd of sheep meandering into a circle around him.

She spat out her stick of wheat, grin widening as she stood upright. "Well, maybe I should ambush you first! Baaaa!"

At the sound, her marines shed their wool, transforming back into humans in a bright flash of golden light. As they were used to the transformation, they had already reared up on their hind legs, swords and guns at the ready as they changed. The Cyclops didn't stand a chance.

At least, that's what she thought. One moment her men were leaping in the air, bleeting battle cries as they went in for the attack, the next they lay in the mud around him in heaps.

The men she'd had guarding her daughter charged out from behind the barn, sabers raised. At least they had the sense not to try sniping him with their rifles. – that would have drawn attention to Nausicaa, putting her in danger.

"I'd get away from that barn if I were you, kid."

Somehow he knew Nausicaa was there anyway! A haki user! –that didn't bode well.

The Cyclops let loose a flying slash, and though they blocked it with their sabers, it sent her remaining men flying back into the barn, punching a hole through it. The slash followed them, splitting the barn in half horizontally and cutting through Poor Bruce's rope. The goose flew free with a honk of joy, only managing to escape because Circe was so distracted by the rickety barn collapsing into rubble behind her.

She took in a breath to yodel, thinking to make the cattle charge the fence and come to her aid. It was no use; the Cyclops was already after her. Though she drew a revolver and started to unload it in his direction, she knew she was finished the instant he locked his single eye on her.

Just as he charged her, the bag around his head contracted, catching him like a clothesline and knocking him flat onto his back. He quickly sat upright, but before he could get to his feet, the bag floored him again, face forward this time.

He scrambled to get the piece of litter off of his face, only to have it drag him a few feet through the dirt. A final attempt to get upright only ended in his getting pulled through the air by his head to land on his side at Circe's feet.

"I _told_ you my litter litter fruit was good for more than just spying," Nausicaa said, coming out of her hiding place.

" _Ol' McCirce had a farm, ee ay ee ay oh_ ," Circe sang. _"And on that farm she had a fox, ee ay ee ay oh!_ " She reached down and tapped the Cyclops on an exposed part of his skin. He started to glow, his limbs shrinking as green fur sprouted all over his body. An instant later she held a dazed green fox by the scruff of the neck. " _With a…_ heh heh, well, unfortunately for you I don't know _what_ sound a fox makes. That means there won't be any turnin' you back. Sorry, pard."

"Aw, he's totes adorbs, huh?" Nausicaa squealed, then rounded on her mother. "Why didn't you baa at him or whatever, huh? He, like, almost killed you, Mom!"

"I already told you, hon. I can't use my animal calls to transform anyone unless they've been under my spell already within the past twenty-four hours," she explained, eyeing the fox in disdain. He came to his senses and started wriggling angrily in her grip, trying to nip at her hand without success. "Anyway, he wouldn't have killed me, darlin. He flipped his sword around, see. Would have knocked me out I reckon, but he's apparently got a chivalrous streak, doncha little fella?"

The fox growled at her.

"Aw, is that why you, like, warned me before you slashed the barn in half?" Nausicaa asked him. "That was way sweet of you. If I'd been next to it, I would have gotten my clothes all dirty."

Circe and the cycloptic fox stared at her for a moment. The barn falling on her clearly would have done more than get her clothes dirty. Rolling her eyes, the Marine Captain decided not to point that out. Her daughter had always had a weird obsession with hygiene.

"So, are you, like, going to make him show you were the goose king is?" Nausicaa prodded.

"Darlin', you read my mind," Circe replied. Dropping the fox, she took in a breath to use her mind control yodel, only to stop a moment later when a rabbit jump-kicked her hard in the back of the knee, dropping her into a crouch. Seeing his opportunity, the fox head-butted her in the gut, knocking the wind clean out of her.

As quickly as he had appeared, the rabbit was gone, taking the fox with him. By the time Circe got the breath back to yodel, they were obviously out of range; she couldn't make them come back to her.

"Oh noes!" Nausicaa exclaimed in her cutesy way. "What are we gonna do, Mom?"

"I'll tell ya what we're gonna do. We're gonna find that fox," she growled. "Use yer litter litter fruit to spy around and see what you can find."

"But Mom, I've, like, only dropped my litter in this field and the city."

"Then you check the city, I'll look through the forest," Circe growled. "They can't have gone far."

* * *

Several hours of fruitless searching later, Circe returned to the barn in a foul mood. She hadn't found the fox, or the rabbit. She had, however, found a goose, whom she dragged by his webbed feet as she stormed back to her hideout. His head bounced along the ground, and he let out a pathetic honk every now and again, but he made no signs of resistance.

Her daughter was waiting for her, wearing a cranky scowl.

"I looked everywhere," she reported despondently. "Wait, is that…?"

"This here whack-doodle is Bruce," Circe grumped, lifting the despondent goose up for Nausicaa to see. "I still haven't found the king."

"Oh em gee. Are you going to feed that marine to Regent, then?" the girl exclaimed. "That's so not right. You're going to have to do it, aren't you? Ew!"

"I reckon so," Circe said, lifting up Poor Bruce so she could get a good look at him. "I dunno if he'll buy it though."

An explosion turned both their heads toward the field. Nausicaa closed her eyes and the trash around her dimmed.

"Ring your bell and start yodeling, mom!" she cried. "The cows are getting loose!"

Circe did just that, yodeling at the top of her lungs. Only no cows came running.

"Um…they're sitting in the far side of the field all like, meh," Nausicaa reported.

"Like meh?" Circe asked. Sometimes she wondered if her daughter spoke a different language.

"Like, sad or something," she tried to clarify. "They've stopped running and they're, like, too depressed to come to you. Weird."

Circe stared at her. She'd understood her this time, she just couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. "My cows are…depressed?"

"I might have something to do with that! Holo-holo-holo-holo!"

Circe and her daughter stared at the other side of the fence, where a girlish young woman with pink pigtails stood giggling with her hands on her hips. She looked at them through unnaturally large eyes, her gaze made sinister by the long bangs overshadowing her face.

"Who 'n blue blazes 'r you?" Circe demanded.

"Mom, it's that chick I saw with that foxy swordsman earlier," Nausicaa informed her.

"So _you're_ the one what ran off with mah goose!" Circe exclaimed, bearing her teeth.

"Yeah, he's long gone by now," the girl replied. "You're never going to find him."

"I will if I've got you to lead me to 'im," Circe informed her, hopping the fence. "Them pink piggily wiggily tails o' yers put me in mind of just the right animal too."

"What?" the girl shrieked, waving her hands out in front of her in alarm. "Not a pig! I'm too cute to be a pig!"

" _Ol' McCirce had a farm, ee ay ee ay oh_!"

"No! No! No!" her soon-to-be victim cried, shaking her head in protest. Circe grinned evilly, but she should have realized something was fishy when the girl didn't try to flee.

" _And on that farm she had a_ pig _…!"_ the Captain reached out to grab her, only to grab hold of nothing. Her sturdy, work-worn hands passed straight through the girl as though she were a…

"Ghost!" Nausicaa shrieked in alarm.

"Holo-holo-holo-holo!" The girl started floating for effect, grinning evilly at them. "That's Ghost _Princess_ to you, Tacky."

"Tacky?" Nausicaa blustered angrily, glancing at her leggings and too-big shirt, then looking back up at her. "My clothes are totes lit. At least I don't dress like I came out of a Tim Burton movie. Ew!"

"It's not your clothes so much as your piercings. You're trying too hard," the self-proclaimed 'Ghost Princess' went on. "Less is more, honey."

"Says the girl wearing too much eyeliner."

"Says the girl who has _how_ many different colors of highlights in her hair? Did a unicorn throw up on your head?"

"Darlin', she does have a point," Circe interjected. "Yer a right fashion disaster."

"YOU CAN'T TALK, OVERALLS!" both girls shrieked, only Nausicaa said 'Mom' instead of 'overalls.'

"At least they're _practical_ ," Circe muttered under her breath.

"Hey!" Nausicaa cried, "I hear mooing!" She closed her eyes, the trash around her dimmed as she spied on a distant part of the field. "They're, like, getting away again, Mom! That rabbit is herding them!"

"We'll see about that!"

Circe raised her cowbell, took in a breath, let out the first, warbling note…

"Negative Hollow!"

Something struck her through the chest and she fell to her knees at the Ghost Princess' feet, feeling lower than she'd ever felt in her life.

"I belong on Regent's dinner plate," she moaned. "As a chicken, not a goose."

She started letting out dejected clucking noises into the muddy grass. Bruce the Goose had escaped her grip as she lay wallowing on the ground, and looked at her with his bruised head cocked to one side. He didn't waste any more time escaping after that though. Soon he'd disappeared into the forest again, honking in delight at his re-found freedom.

"What did you do to her?" Nausicaa shrieked. Circe barely heard her over her own chicken noises.

"Just had to keep her from stopping our plans. See, I get a yacht when all this is over."

"Like, dub tee eff does a ghost need a yacht for? For realsies?" Nausicaa asked. "Whatever. Looks like it's up to me to stop you."

"And just how do you plan on doing that, you punk wannabe?"

"I prefer non-conformist with a touch of indie," Nausicaa replied. "Anywho, so, like, I can't touch you, but maybe my powers can."

The ghost girl's eyes widened.

"All right, garbage. Let's show this dumb goth what we can do." Nausicaa closed her eyes. " _Ghosts of meals past!"_

The various wrappers, paper bags, soda cans, and take out boxes dimmed around her, then let off a noxious-looking yellow steam.

"That is disgusting," the ghost girl pointed out.

"I know, right?" Nausicaa agreed. "My power is kinda, ew."

The steam formed itself into a humanoid, gaseous figure, which reached out to the Ghost Princess, enveloping her in a stifling embrace. She covered her mouth and nose, coughing.

"So, like, can a ghost suffocate?" Nausicaa asked. "I guess I'm about to find out."

"No you're not," the Ghost Princess coughed. "Negative Hollow!"

A pair of miniature ghosts flew from her hand, striking Nausicaa the same way it had struck Circe moments before.

"My next tattoo should be of a poop emoji…" Nausicaa lamented, faceplanting in the mud.

"You've got a tattoo?" Circe cried, coming to her senses. "What in tarnation was yer pa thinkin'?"

Nausicaa didn't sass back, or do much of anything except sigh disconsolately, curling into fetal position and mussing her clothes further. Circe knew it was bad when the clothing conscious teen didn't complain about getting dirty.

Unfortunately for the Ghost Princess though, Nausicaa's ' _Ghost of Meals Past´_ remained in effect, stifling her in a warm, garbage scented cloud. That mixed with the smell of the cow pasture had to be practically unbearable. She plugged her nose, her cheeks ballooning like a pufferfish as she kicked her legs midair in protest.

"Well, looks like that should hold yeh," Circe said, her face grim. "I take it mah cows 'r outta range by now. But yer power only lasts so long. Once Nausicaa comes too, she can take her little ghostie offa yeh…provided yeh tell us where mah goose done flew off to."

The Ghost Princess' face had started to turn blue. Tears stung her eyes.

"Aw, don't be such a drama queen. It ain't gonna suffocate yeh. It may stink, but you can still breathe."

A tiny ghost appeared in their captive's hand, and she snapped her fingers. The ghost detonated, lighting up the stink cloud like miniature sun. The explosion to follow sent both Nausicaa and Circe flying back into the fence around the cow pasture, smashing it and leaving both women dazed.

"You two think you can get away with treating me like this? _"_ their attacker shrieked. The explosion apparently had no effect on her incorporeal form. "I told you, _I_ am a _Princess!"_

Circe and her daughter stared up at her with wide eyes as she grew larger and larger, towering over them. The rays of the just setting sun shone through her, but the shock of seeing her transform suddenly into a giantess made her seem solid enough. Especially when she lifted one of her red leather boots up to overshadow them.

"I hope you think twice next time you try to pull a stunt like that! Holo-holo-holo-holo!" She lowered her foot, to all appearances completely crushing her opponents.

* * *

Perona lifted her foot and gazed in horror at her handiwork. Both Captain Circe and her stupid litter-litter daughter were out cold.

"Wait! I was just trying to psych you out!" she cried. "You weren't supposed to faint yet!"

She swore, shrinking back to her normal size.

"Wake up, you two! WAKE UP!" she whined, but she knew it was already too late. "Darn it! You ruined our plans, I hope you know! Now Zoro won't be able to make his dramatic, romantic entrance!"

She wrinkled her nose.

"Geez, what's wrong with the navy these days?"


	12. Chapter 12 - Ready to Party

**Note from the Author** : Hey guys! Good news! I've built up somewhat of a buffer. That means I can guarantee an update next week too. Woot!

Also, I forgot to give credit where credit is due. Nausicaa's character quirk I can attribute to Not-a-fanatic-just-a-fan, who suggested I make someone who talks in milennialisms (totes adorbs, cray cray, etc). Good show, Not-a-fanatic, good show.

I am pretty sure I am done introducing OCs after this chapter. I think. Finally. Maybe. - wait! J/K, there's like one more very important one. but other than that. I'm done introducing OCs. For now. Probably.

* * *

Ch. 12 – Ready to Party

"He doesn't want Fop, good sir. He wants Dapper Dan!" the King insisted, slamming his hand on the stall counter. "He's a Dapper Dan Man!"

"I can order it for you," the stall keeper drawled, "Have it in in about two weeks."

"Forget it!" Cygnus fumed, turning back to Zoro.

"Uh…I don't use hair gel," Zoro tried to put in helpfully, dressed now in new clothes from the next stall over. They stood in one of Ilium's festively bedecked street markets, closer to the palace than Athena's Temple had been. This was their last stop; they didn't have time for anything else, what with the lengthening shadows announcing the approach of sundown.

"It's _pomade_ , not hair gel you cretin! And maybe that's why you always look so scruffy."

Zoro didn't let the jab get to him, feeling a bit surreal as he realized that the whole scenario was the closest his Father-in-Law had ever come to showing him affection. Zoro knew Cygnus was going out of his way to make him look nice for Helena's sake, but it was kind of nice all the same. They'd even stopped by a bathhouse, though they weren't able to relax there for more than a quarter of an hour if that.

"What are you wearing?" Cygnus said with a start, looking him up and down with an expression of disbelief.

"You said to pick something I like…" Zoro said, looking down at the comfortable black jeans, boots and plain black T-shirt.

"That's not a costume," Cygnus insisted.

"Uh, how about this?" Zoro asked, grabbing a blank white mask and slapping it over his face. "Look! I'm Hades!"

Cygnus actually chuckled at this. He had a wry sort of laugh like his daughter's, and Zoro smiled despite himself.

"You know Hades' mask covers _all_ of his face."

"Uh, yeah. I've met the guy," Zoro reminded him, lowering the mask. "But if I wear a full mask I won't be able to use all of my swords. Anyway, he wears a toga thing and a cloak too. Think of it as a, uh…I dunno, a modern interpretation?"

"Well, it's bad luck to dress as Hades," Cygnus said, then he grinned that sly, knowing grin he got when he knew something he didn't intend to share. "But after all, it _is_ a _modern_ interpretation. Yes, I do believe it's perfect. We should get you a cloak or something though, to complete the look."

"How about this?" Perona piped up from beside them, holding out a black, hooded jacket.

Cygnus and Zoro both gave a start. They'd vaguely noticed the frilly pink person next to them, but had been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn't realized who it actually was.

"Oh, it's you," Zoro observed. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting ready for the party, same as you," Perona replied.

"And, uh, what are you supposed to be?" Zoro asked.

Perona waved a shepherds crook in front of his nose and pointed at the small retinue of ghosts that always followed her around. They'd grown puffy little coats. "Isn't it obvious? I'm Little Bo Peep!" She twirled, showing her ridiculously fluffy dress to full effect. "Well? What do you think?"

"You look like a cupcake," Zoro told her honestly.

"Jerk, who asked you anyway?" Perona snapped.

"Uh, _you_ did," Zoro pointed out. He ended up face down in the street a moment later, wishing he were an earthworm.

"You look lovely, my dear," Cygnus put in more diplomatically, minding his manners to avoid also becoming victim to one of her negativity sheep.

Perona gasped.

"YOU'RE KING GOOSEY!" she exclaimed. "Oh my gosh! You even kind of LOOK like a goose!"

Cygnus' eyebrow twitched. "Am I to take that as a compliment?"

"Nope!" Perona giggled.

"Honk!" He grabbed her ear in his toes, boxing it as she flailed. "Don't you forget that I am a _King_ , Missy! Not to mention one of your elders! You will treat me with respect!"

He ended up face down in the street next to Zoro, wishing he were dirt.

When the effects of Perona's powers had worn off and everyone had calmed down, Zoro set about trying on the jacket she'd found. It actually fit pretty well, and looked decent. They bought it and the white mask without further fuss.

"So I hope you can get us into the palace," Perona told Cygnus as she led the way toward it. "I checked there for you guys first. They aren't letting any outside guests come in."

"Really?" Cygnus asked in genuine surprise. "That's odd. Normally the party at the palace is open to the public. Helena and I enjoy seeing the costumes that the people come up with."

Despite Perona's best efforts to serve as a guide, her two directionally challenged companions had trouble walking in a straight line. For a brief moment they took an accidental detour away from her and into another festive city side street.

"Oo-Waaaah!" a child said, running past Cygnus and Zoro as they looked around, trying to get their bearings. "I'm the palace ghost child!"

A woman who had to be the child's mother ran up behind him, catching him and lifting him off of his feet. "Now none of that," she said sternly. "You said you wanted to be a ghost, not that ghost in particular. It's…" she caught sight of Cygnus and her eyes opened wide. "…disrespectful," she finished, gaping at him. She bowed to him suddenly, still clutching her struggling son. "Your Majesty! I am so sorry. We meant no disrespect to the Queen…!"

"Oh," Cygnus chuckled in a slightly forced manner. "Do you think I'm actually King Cygnus? I've been told I look like him, so I tried to dress the part."

"You're very like him," the woman said, eyeing him suspiciously. "I work in the palace, so I'd know. I'm afraid I know all about the ghost stories too. I never should have told him..."

"Ah," Cygnus said, glancing uneasily at Zoro, who's brow lifted in curiosity. "Well, they are, after all, just stories…"

"I've heard that ghost," the woman insisted. "Back right after Her Majesty lost the prince to Hera's jealousy. I heard that child wailing in the halls from beyond the grave, tormenting his mother when she couldn't reach him. It was downright cruel what they did to her, but I don't suppose it's for us to question the gods. Likely she deserves her punishment."

Cygnus and Zoro both stiffened at this.

" _Helena the Heretic lost her only son_!" the boy sang out suddenly, " _Her man insulted Hera, now she has no one_!"

"Hush!" his mother scolded, clapping a hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry. We've told him that song is rude, but he just won't listen."

Cygnus flexed his toes within his sandals, but apparently decided against giving the impudent rascal a proper pinching. "I'm sure he can't help it. That song is pretty catchy, and they play it on every street corner on nights like this," he said casually. The mother relaxed and put her son down. "Well, it was nice talking to you. Enjoy the festival."

Cygnus turned to walk away, and Zoro made to follow but found his way blocked by the ghost boy. He'd stopped short in front of Zoro, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at the pirate with narrowed eyes.

"Your costume's pretty good," he said analytically. "But Roronoa Zoro wears white. How else is he supposed to beat Nemo?"

"I'll keep that in mind," Zoro replied. He might have chuckled, but his mind was still reeling with what he'd just heard. "What was THAT about?" he growled to Cygnus when they were out of earshot of the child and his mother. "Our son is a ghost? And why are they calling Helena a Heretic? What's Hera got to do with any of this?"

"I'm surprised you haven't heard the songs already. You know Helena destroyed Hera's temple at least, yes?"

Zoro's brow furrowed and he shook his head. He remembered his dream; remembered hearing Hera's vindictive laughter as the beam passed through him to hit Helena and their son. "Why did she…? Did Hera do something to our son?"

"I already told you, if you want to know more you will have to speak with my daughter," Cygnus insisted.

"Maybe," Zoro said, "Or maybe I should just go back and talk to that kid. He seems plenty willing to say what everyone else is afraid to."

"All you will get out here on the street are rumors that have been mystified into tall tales," Cygnus pointed out crisply. "If it's the truth you're after…"

"THERE YOU ARE!" Perona shrieked, marching up to them with her arms pumping. "Don't make me put leashes on you!"

Zoro followed Cygnus and Perona in a sulky silence after that, chewing on what he'd learned with a feeling of foreboding forming in the pit of his stomach. That kid had sung about Helena the Heretic; had spoken of the gods torturing her with the cries of their dead child, as though they held him in torment beyond the grave. The absentee father of said child was likely the last person she wanted to see after enduring all that. Anyway, hadn't the song said something about Helena's _man_ ticking Hera off?

Maybe he didn't want to know what had happened to their child after all. He might not like what he discovered. He already regretted seeing Helena once today, right?

He stopped short in the street, and Perona and Cygnus both turned to look at him, the later with concern creasing his brows. Zoro took a deep breath to steady himself, then tied on his bandana, put on his mask, and pulled his hood up.

"What, getting into the festive spirit?" Cygnus asked in relief.

"That kid was like the fifth person to tell me I got my costume wrong," Zoro replied tetchily. "I'm tired of losing my own lookalike contest."

* * *

There were few trifles in life that grated on Her Majesty's nerves quite like trying on a new dress for a royal function. Not that she had anything against feminine apparel; it was just that the formal wear made her feel vulnerable. Floor length satin and layers of chiffon tended to get in the way of her fighting style. And tonight of all nights she needed every sword free.

"Diddy," she said flatly, eyeing the woman's latest fashion concoction with displeasure. "I chose to dress as Persephone tonight so I could wear something traditional and, um, less, uh…less….Just less."

The ninety-year-old fashion designer inspected the gown through a pair of thick-framed, non-prescription square-rimmed glasses. These she wore over a smaller pair of prescription bifocals, which were actually useful. "You told me you didn't want a corset…"

"Yes, well…" Helena started.

"And as you can see, there's no corset."

The elderly woman tossed a striped scarf around her thin, aged shoulders, revealing that the plain, crimin brand sweatshirt beneath it said, " _#adulting."_ She turned the dress form on which the gown rested, pinching the green satin waist to show that it indeed had no corset, nor even boning beneath.

"I also said…"

"That you never again wanted to wear a dress as large and cumbersome as the one you wore at your coronation. This dress is neither large nor cumbersome."

Helena sighed, wondering why she even bothered arguing fashion with a woman who insisted on wearing a false mustache. Mustaches were "in" these days, but Diddy claimed she'd been into them before they'd become the latest trend. She'd also dyed her hair green "before it was cool." (Actually, she'd first done it right after Zoro left, at the same time that everyone else started doing it). Now it looked ombre grey to green, probably as both a fashion statement and to keep from having to dye it as often.

"Diddy, you know I respect that you work hard to try and show me in my best light," Helena put in diplomatically, "But amongst the suitors I'd really feel more comfortable if I had access to the use of my foot swords…"

"And you do!" Diddy said, raising her perfectly penciled eyebrows excitedly. She had a diamond stud in her eyebrow, and wore smokey eyeshadow, making her dark eyes all the more expressive. "Check this out."

The floor length, emerald gown had a tulip style part in the front. Helena had assumed at first glance that it would open to another layer of fabric beneath. To her surprise it opened to nothing.

"And look! I have matching trousers for you to wear beneath it!" Diddy exclaimed, holding out the article of clothing proudly. "You see! Have I ever failed to deliver before?"

"Ah, so it's got ties, that's good," Helena said, dodging the question as she inspected the gown further. The ties to which she referred were a pair of ribbons that could hold the dress open like a curtain.

"And open-toed sandals, see!" Diddy held up the green, strappy shoes, thankfully without heels. They'd been designed to look like vines, completing the 'spring goddess' look. "Ok, why the long face _now?_ What have I done wrong this time?"

"It's beautiful," Helena said, forcing a smile.

"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?" Diddy pouted.

"I know why," a voice said from the door to the fitting room. "But if I may, Little Swan, it might not be a bad thing to put your best foot forward tonight."

"Papa!" Helena exclaimed, turning sharply toward Cygnus. She ran to embrace him, laughing out of sheer relief. "Dear Gods, I was so worried about you! Where in Hades have you been? Did you find Hector and the others? Are they all right?"

"They're fine," he said. "Diddy, if I may, I need a moment alone with my daughter."

Diddy had stared at him from the second he'd made his presence known, her expression pensive.

"Diddy?" Cygnus prodded.

"Ah, yes. I'm sorry, I just…" the elderly though spry woman shook her head quickly as though to clear it. "Just one more thing." She retrieved a large velvet box, holding it toward Helena. "This is a gift from my grandson, Agamemnon, and from his daughter, Raqueline. They wanted to thank you for all the work you've done to help them recover the sea prism business."

Helena opened the box to find an intricate circlet of silver, diamonds, and sea prism porcelain. It had been shaped to look like delicate vines, and woven with golden pomegranate blossoms. The Queen smiled, and for Diddy's benefit she placed it on her head in place of her usual crown. It fit perfectly around her brow.

"It's beautiful. Raqueline does amazing work, as always," Helena said. "Tell them both thank you from me."

"Of course, Your Majesty." Diddy bowed and exited.

"You see," Cygnus told her the moment Diddy had gone. "You've done good work. The economy is better than ever."

"I suppose," Helena said. She stood in front of a floor length mirror in the fashion designer's work room. Turning her head one way and the other, she inspected the gift, which had come from the most prominent businessman in the country and his talented artisan daughter. The thin, delicate metalwork of the wreath was so beautiful that it distracted her for a moment, but she quickly returned to the matter at hand. "Father, what's going on. Where have you been?"

"We'll have to go into that later," he said. "Helena, I came to warn you. Tonight there will be…"

"An attempt on my life?" Helena asked. She turned to the dress form and started unbuttoning the back of the gown. Diddy didn't believe in zippers, much to Helena's annoyance. "Yes, I know. The Princes and a bunch of marines are going to try something at the party tonight. Sundown I believe is the appointed time."

Cygnus smiled at her, though she didn't see it. She was too busy wrestling the dress free of the dress form. "You knew?" he asked in surprise. "Dear gods, of course you knew. That's why you've closed the palace party off from the public."

"Wouldn't want any of our citizens getting caught in the crosshairs, would we?" Helena pointed out. "Not that I anticipate crosshairs."

"What do you mean?" Cygnus asked as she took the gown behind a partition so she could start changing. "You do know _how_ the attempt is going to take place, I hope."

"Well, at first I thought they'd just try the classic _et tu Brute_ , but just this afternoon Paris discovered that they were going to try to poison me using some gas canisters they've set up around the throne room," Helena said, grinning. "I told you that man was the right one for the security position. – Anyway, we're pretty sure we've located all of the bombs. The servants have secretly replaced all of the poison with a harmless vapor. Should be quite a show, but I don't expect anyone will get hurt."

"So you mean to let them think they are going through with it? Why the drama?"

"Don't you see? This is the chance we've been waiting for!" Helena exclaimed, struggling to get the dress over her head. It had been made to fit like a glove, which didn't leave much wiggle room. Normally she'd have Diddy's help, but her father had just dismissed her. "You told me to do everything I can to avoid a war with our neighboring countries, so I've played nice with those ninnies for the past two years. But when I prove that their intentions are a bald-faced lie, I can finally kick them to the curb!"

She came out from behind the partition, a little pink in the face from tussling with the gown. As she walked she attempted to button up the back of the dress on her own, grinning in triumph over her plan. She paused in her buttoning, the smile on her face fading when she caught the pensive expression furrowing her father's brow.

"Please don't tell me I can't kick them out after this," she pleaded.

"This is bigger than an assassination or revenge attempt on just you, Helena," Cygnus pointed out to her. "They are conspiring with the World Government to take over the country."

"Yes, I know," Helena said. "They tried poisoning the pomegranate wine we give to the citizens during the festival. We switched the barrels out, though, and…"

Cygnus let out a chuckle. "You switched the barrels out?" he asked. "Oh dear. I suppose we just wasted a whole lot of good wine."

"What do you mean?" Helena asked. She again attempted to button up the back of her own dress, and though she got partway up, her father soon came to her aid. She stood in front of the big mirror so they could still look at one another as they spoke.

"Well, Hector and his men just smashed all the wine barrels to keep everyone from drinking it," he said as his fingers worked the buttons.

"No!" Helena turned, her dress still half open in the back as she looked at her father in consternation. "Father, that will have alerted our enemies that we're on to them! Now they'll call off the assassination! How will I kick out all of the stupid princes now?"

Her father met her frustrated gaze with a pensive one of his own, then he shook his head slowly, turning her calmly back around so he could finish buttoning the back of her dress. "You won't have to worry about any more suitors after tonight," he said, a mischievous smile tweaking his lips.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she started.

"Though I don't think they will call the assassination off," he said, not answering her question. He paused in his buttoning, and she could see in the mirror that his gaze rested on the wicked scratch scar on her back. "Not if Regent is in charge."

"Regent?" Helena gasped, "Father, you don't mean… _that_ Regent?"

"That's precisely who I mean," Cygnus said quietly, his blue eyes flashing up at her and revealing the angry father behind his calm words.

"I thought you blew his head off with the Mask of Zeus."

"So did I, but apparently his devil fruit power allowed him to survive somehow," Cygnus informed her, pursing his lips. "To be honest, I believe it's me that he's after more than you. I was planning on laying low during the party, but perhaps if I make an appearance they will try to go through with the assassination, if only so Regent can get his revenge."

He finished the last button then stepped back so Helena could retrieve and put on a pair glittering diamond earrings; if one looked closely enough, they had the form of a skull. Persephone was the Queen of the Underworld after all. Cygnus placed a matching skull necklace about his daughter's slender neck as she pulled on a pair of black satin gloves.

"You look lovely, Little Swan," he told her when they had finished. "This really is a good night for you to look your best."

He knew she didn't like to make it seem like she was flirting with the suitors. For the past two years she'd put away anything in her wardrobe that could come across as too attractive or too feminine. "I suppose if this is the last night I have to see any of those creeps, I don't mind letting them see me like this," she said, fastening a diamond skull bracelet about her wrist.

She turned to him, a little surprised to see her father studying her with a proud look on his face. It took a lot to please him, she knew. Her new floral crown was a little crooked after all her work with the dress, and he lifted it off of her head in order to straighten it.

"I know the burdens of the crown have weighed heavily on you these past few years," he told her sincerely. "And I know I seem to do nothing but criticize. But Helena, you have come a long way. I can honestly say that you bear it well."

He kissed her forehead tenderly, then replaced the crown. When he released it, Helena took one of his hands and pressed it to her cheek. "Thank you, Papa," she said. "That means a lot coming from you."

* * *

After destroying all of the wine barrels, General Hector had quickly though strategically set his men around the city and Mycenae, just in case those hidden marines he'd heard about decided to attack any civilians. When he was sure his orders would be carried out, he had returned the palace.

He wanted to address the Queen directly, but she was occupied getting ready for the party that night. Anyway, she had a Head of Palace security for a reason. Hector found his younger brother, Paris in the palace infirmary, surrounded by beautiful nurses.

"Hector!" he whined when the General walked through the door. The younger of the two brothers held up a mirror, blocking his face from view. "Hector, Calypso ruined my beautiful face!"

Hector braced himself for what he'd see as Paris lowered the mirror. When the General finally had a full view, he raised a heavy brow incredulously.

"Oh, did you cut yourself shaving?"

The pretty boy had split the side of his chin. It hardly needed a few butterfly bandages, much less stitches.

"You beast! Have some sympathy!" Paris wailed, and one of the nurses leaned his head against her shoulder, stroking his hair.

"Uh, could you give us a moment, ladies?" Hector asked. "Palace business."

"Wait!" Paris cried as the ladies let out a collective moan. "One more shellfie, ladies. I'll post it on my Instaclam."

They crowded around Paris as he held up the snail camera on a stick. "Sad, sickie faces!" he said, frowning melodramatically. The nurses pouted out their lips, looking more like ducks than anything. When he'd taken the picture, the nurses filed out, though not without first planting a number of kisses on his person.

"Aw, come on, Hector. Don't be jealous," Paris prodded, completely misinterpreting the General's unamused expression. "I know even with my mangled face I can get more ladies than you ever have, but…"

"You have got to be kidding me," Hector said flatly. "Paris, while you've been goofing around here, were you even aware that the Queen is about to be…?"

"Assassinated?" Paris supplied, inspecting his face in the mirror again. "Yes, yes, that's old news. We've got it all taken care of."

"It's not going to happen like you think," Hector went on, "The Marines disguised as princes are just…"

"Decoys, yes," Paris said dismissively. "The poison's been found and dealt with. So are you done trying to do my job, or can we go back to talking about the matter at hand here?" he indicated his hardly scuffed face.

Hector blinked at him. "Wait, you already knew?"

"Brother mine, why must you always doubt me?" Paris sighed dramatically to his reflection, smoothing back the hair that had fallen into his eyes. "I also know that King Cygnus has been found; rather, that he just arrived at the palace and brought two mystery guests into the party. I've had my people working on identifying them. One appears to be Perona aka the Ghost Princess, one of the late Gecko Moria's commanders. Still working on why Cygnus would have her with him…"

So she really was one of Moria's commanders, for all she acted like a twit. "She's not a hostile," Hector informed him. "She's on our side."

"That's good to know. I'm still working on the identity of the second guest, but it's only a matter of time before…"

Hector grinned at him slyly. "Oh, so you mean there's actually something I know that you don't?"

Paris finally lowered the mirror, looking at him with an unamused expression. "Ok, fine. Spill."

"No, I don't think I will," Hector said with a grin.

"Are you going to make me beg? You know I can get it out of you."

Paris and Hector had many brothers, of which Hector was the eldest and Paris was the youngest. While Paris drove Hector crazy just about all of the time, he also had the advantage of being baby brother, something he'd known how to milk since before he could walk.

He pouted out his lower lip, letting it tremble. Hector covered his eyes and turned away:

"No! Anything but that!" he cried in genuine consternation, inundated with an overwhelming wave of flashbacks .– He saw Paris pouting like that as a baby wanting to be held, as a toddler wanting a cookie, as a kid wanting to sneak out without their dad knowing.

"Pwease, Hectow?" Paris pleaded, his chocolate brown eyes round and pleading. "Pa-weeeeease?"

Not the Pwease! Anything but the Pwease! Hector dared another glimpse at him, and regretted it. With that one look, Paris finally broke him.

"Argh! FINE!" Hector glanced about furtively, noticing a couple of Paris' security agents standing by the door, but no infirmary personnel. He still leaned in conspiratorially and whispered the identity of Cygnus' second guest into Paris' ear.

Paris gave a start, dropping the mirror in surprise. He stared at Hector.

"You're sure?" he gasped. "You're _sure_ you're sure?"

"Positive," Hector said. "I've also spoken to the King. He wants me to…" he leaned in furtively and whispered the plan Cygnus had disclosed to him. Paris' eyes grew, if possible, wider.

"Hm, I really don't think Queen Helena-Chan is going to like that," he said. "We should really run it by her first. Anyway, shouldn't you be out in the streets with your troops in case the WG tries anything tonight? You were aware that they have some of their men disguised as civilians, yes?"

Hector nodded. "They have their orders. They'll be fine. Anyway, if we tell Helena, we'll ruin the surprise!" he pointed out. "Her father is authority enough for me."

"I guess so," Paris replied. "Huh. Now I'm thinking about leaving the infirmary. I don't want to miss the fun. But if I go before the doctors are done with me, I could scar!"

"They said you could leave a few hours ago," one of the agents by the door reminded him, making Hector snort. Of course Paris had only stayed behind to flirt with the nurses.

"It's ok, little bro," Hector said, patting him on the shoulder, "Chicks dig scars, you know."

"Is that true?" Paris asked, turning his puppy eyes on the second agent, who happened to be female.

"Uh…yes sir," she said in a no-nonsense kind of voice.

"Good enough for me!" Paris said, throwing off his blankets and leaping out of bed as Hector rolled his eyes. "Let's get this party started!"


	13. Chapter 13 - Lord Death and His Lady

**Note from the Author:** So I'm really not sure what happened last week. The website glitched when I tried to upload the chapter, and despite attempts to re-upload, I don't think the update email went out. Fingers are crossed for this week.

So I've been building to this for a long time. I hope it meets expectations. On this particular chapter and/or the next one, I'd appreciate reviews just to get a pulse for how you're feeling about this story thus far.

\- I guess by way of explanation, my husband refuses to be my sounding board any more because he just can't stand the way Zoro and Helena are treating each other. He doesn't want to hear more of the story until they are happy again. Which is going to happen, I promise. So if you feel like walking away after this chapter, know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Also know that I never intended the dramafest that this tale has become. Originally it was going to be a short story. Zoro shows up, cuts through some axes, there's some kissing, Zoro goes back to sea happy to have seen Helena. Short, sweet, fun, to the point. -But then, somehow their dead son became a thing. And Calypso showed up- yeah, that guy's particularly messed up my plans (and you know he's happy about it).

So yeah, now I have to lie in the bed I've made. It's been painful to write, particularly this chapter and the one after it. I can only imagine what all of you are thinking. (Hence I ask for reviews so I can actually KNOW what you're thinking).

* * *

Ch. 13 – Lord Death and His Lady

From a quiet corner of the throne room, Zoro watched the princes milling about in their glittering festival finery. Though he hid behind the safety of his mask, he pulled his black hood further over his head to ensure he wouldn't be recognized.

"You know your swords are going to give you away sooner than anything else," Perona pointed out, stuffing her face with a creampuff and other snacks she'd retrieved from the hors d'oeuvre table.

"Yeah, or the fact that you're the only girl here besides the servants," Zoro noted, placing a hand defensively over his swords. His jacket half hid them from the casual observer; he just hoped Helena wouldn't notice them. "Did you have to come along?"

With the party closed off from the public, the only people attending it were Helena's suitors. Cygnus had been able to get them in, obviously, but had disappeared soon after that, leaving Perona and Zoro to their own devices for the time being. The Queen herself had yet to make an appearance.

"Of course I had to come along! Do you know what indignities I suffered on your account?" Perona cried, looking about as ruffled as her dress. "At least this way I get to see you make your romantic, dramatic entrance. And laugh as you mess it up horribly. Holo-holo-holo! You're not really the romantic type, you know that?"

As if he needed the reminder. "I'm not making any sort of entrance. I just need to talk to Helena about something and get out. – and make sure she doesn't get assassinated." All the better if she didn't recognize him in the process, but he doubted he'd be so lucky, even with the mask. Then again, he _had_ lost his own lookalike contest….

"Going to find out if she has a lover or not?" Perona goaded. "I know you don't believe me."

Zoro remained silent. He wasn't about to tell the likes of Perona about Helena's little tryst in the garden. Speaking of, Zoro had yet to spot that Calypso jerk. Quite a few of the suiters wore masks, so it was possible he was there, but Zoro didn't see any dreadlocks either.

Perona grabbed his arm and shook it in excitement. "She's here!" she half-whispered, half screamed in his ear. "That's her! That's her! That's her!"

Conversation immediately ceased as all eyes turned toward the elegant figure making her way across the marbled tile, trailing flowers and green satin in her wake. Though a small masquerade mask shaded her eyes, her poise gave her away. Queen Helena was every bit as regal as her title suggested.

Her mask was two toned, one side green satin framed with cheerful blossoms, the other black and austere with rigid angles. The moment Perona saw it she apparently couldn't resist muttering, "Guess it fits, her being two-faced and all…"

"What?" Zoro snapped. He'd heard her; he just wanted to let her know she was out of line.

"Nothing," Perona said quickly. "Wonder who she's supposed to be dressed as."

"She's the goddess, Persephone," Cygnus put in cheerfully, appearing by Zoro's side. The King had changed into cleaner clothes, but did not wear a costume. Perhaps he wanted to be recognized. "I don't suppose you're familiar with the story _?"_

He glanced slyly at Zoro, who shook his head.

"Well, she's married to the Lord of the Underworld."

Zoro glanced down at his black duds, his mouth pursed in an unamused line. "So we match. How cute," he intoned blandly, glaring at his Father-in-Law as though it were his fault.

" _I_ thought so!" Cygnus said, throwing him a wink.

"Papa, who are your friends?"

Zoro's heart stopped at the sound of her voice.

"You don't look like one of the princes," Helena observed looking him up and down.

Zoro cursed inwardly when he realized what she meant. He'd chosen ordinary street clothes when the rest of her suitors were all wearing their finest. That meant he stood out from the crowd.

"Interesting costume choice…" she went on. "You know it's bad luck to dress as Hades."

"It's a _modern interpretation_ ," Cygnus informed her chipperly. "Helena, these are some friends of mine, visiting from far away."

Helena's small mask hid the confusion on her face but not from her voice. "At a time like this?" she said through a forced smile.

"Oh, they're fine, they're fine," Cygnus said, waving a hand dismissively. He turned to Perona and Zoro, "Come you two. You will sit beside the Queen to dine tonight."

"What?" Helena gasped, but then seemed to remember her manners. "Of course. Any friends of Father's are friends of mine."

Helena and Cygnus led the way to the enormous banquet table, which curved around a strange centerpiece. Zoro eyed it with curiosity; twelve thick steel axes held up in a line by a mess of tree roots digging into the marble flooring – that must have been Hector's doing. What were they there for?

As they walked, Zoro overheard Helena whisper harshly to her father: "What on Gaia's green earth are you thinking? Putting them beside me in a place of honor will put your friends in danger. More particularly that man. The Princes will think…"

"Don't worry about it," Cygnus replied unapologetically. "These two helped me out of a tight spot. I need to repay them for the kindness."

The table ran in front of Helena's throne. She seated herself, thereby inviting the other guests to do the same. A pair of foppish princes dressed as birds in high powdered wigs tried to take the seats on her right and left, then gave a start as they noticed the King.

"Your Majesty!" one man shrilled. Zoro recognized him but didn't recall his name. He'd competed for Helena's hand back when Zoro had last been here. "I…I thought you were…uh…"

"On holiday?" Cygnus supplied with a sickly sweet smile. "I couldn't miss the City of Dionysus Festival, could I, Prince Pompadour? I don't suppose you could move away from my seat?"

Pompadour backed away as Cygnus took his place at Helena's right. The powdered man grabbed the arm of his fellow prince, who had just taken Perona by the hand:

"En Chante, Mademoiselle!" he said, kissing her fingers. "Where do _you_ hail from? Are you a neighboring Princess?"

Perona snatched her hand away. "Yes I am," she said haughtily, clearly pleased at being recognized as the royalty she proclaimed herself to be. "Now take a hike, buster."

"Come on, Popinjay," Pompadour growled at his brother, dragging him away. Popinjay complied, but first he flicked open his fan, fluttering it toward his face as he winked at Perona with wouldbe charm.

Helena turned to Zoro, gesturing toward the cushioned chair at her left. "Please be seated, friend. I apologize for my earlier manner. You are most welcome here."

She seemed relieved not to be sitting by Popinjay and Pompadour. Zoro took his seat without further fuss, though he had started to sweat bullets beneath his mask. Cygnus had set them up with the perfect opportunity to talk. Maybe he could find a way to learn what he needed to without her recognizing who he was, but he'd have to be clever.

Perona sat beside Zoro, grinning at him eagerly. She was clearly excited for him to make that dramatic, romantic entrance she kept talking about. Too bad. Zoro fully intended to disappoint her.

As the meal commenced, Helena turned to him, smiling an easy, polite sort of smile. "Where do you hail from, stranger?" she asked.

Not ready to give himself away, unsure how to answer her, Zoro remained silent.

"Taciturn fellow, hm?" Helena observed. "Your costume was well chosen then. Might I enquire as to how you helped my father? He hasn't been particularly forthcoming about where he's been the past few days."

Zoro was spared having to answer her when Cygnus stood, tapping a fork on one of his glasses to draw everyone's attention.

"Friends, I have an announcement!" he proclaimed. "This silly competition for my daughter's hand has gone on long enough. It is time she remarried."

A wave of excited murmurs passed through the room, as well as some confused glances. Zoro noticed the two powdered princes from earlier talking furtively into a transponder snail half hidden in one of their fancy silk jackets. It appeared Cygnus was trying to throw them off, along with their assassination plans. Unfortunately Helena didn't know that:

"Excuse me?" she hissed, starting to rise. Her father caught her by the shoulder, and looked at her sternly.

"You forget, my dear, that Queen or not, as your father I still have the right by law to give you away in marriage."

"I should have changed that law when I had the chance," she muttered under her breath, and Zoro couldn't help a smirk. Yes, that law had caused her some trouble in the past. He had told her to change it back then, and she hadn't listened.

"Now, choosing among you is beyond me, unless you have a preference my dear," Cygnus said, turning toward her with a twinkle in his eye.

Well, here was her chance to choose that Calypso jerk. Helena was apparently too gobsmacked to get his name out, leastways she mouthed wordlessly at her father until he went on:

"As I thought." He turned toward the suitors again. "Well, I must remain a man of my word; the competition with the axes remains in force. However, as we really need to end this before my daughter is too old to give me grandchildren…" Helena released an indignant huff, but Cygnus continued as though she were a prize horse to be bred: "Instead of having to cut _through_ all of the axes by blade of mouth, we'll just see who can leave the _biggest dent_ by blade of mouth, shall we?"

"Oo, he's good," Perona whispered in Zoro's ear. "He's set it up perfectly for you."

"This has been the competition for her hand?" Zoro whispered back, contemplating the axes now that he saw them in a new light. "They have to cut through those axes with a sword in their mouth?"

"See, she's been waiting for you to come take her back," Perona giggled. "Guess you left her to wait too long, or she wouldn't have taken on a _lov…"_

Zoro pushed her away before she could goad him further. He chanced a glance back at his wife, who stared helplessly at the men lining up to try once more for her hand.

"Father, please don't do this," she pleaded.

Of course she was nervous. After all, her vertically challenged though exceptionally strong boyfriend was nowhere in sight. Gazing out over the crowd of suitors, Zoro was certain of it now; for whatever reason, Calypso was not at the party. That meant that as far as Helena knew, he'd lost his final chance at her hand.

"Trust me, daughter mine. I know what I am doing," Cygnus tried to reassure her. She didn't look particularly reassured.

Sunset came and went as each Prince tried his teeth at the axes. Cygnus had successfully forestalled any assassination attempt. – and knocked out some of their teeth. He kept glancing at Zoro, obviously wondering when his Son-in-Law would use the chance to make his presence known.

"You should give it a try," Perona said loudly, nudging him.

Helena turned to look at him as if daring him to even think about it. Zoro didn't move.

So far, no one had managed to cut through the first axe, though a few (probably Marines in disguise) had left some sizeable marks. The clipboard woman, Nysa, stood by and measured each dent as they formed, then dutifully scribbled down each man's stats.

Before they'd gotten more than halfway through the hopeful suitors, Helena stood, her mouth set in a hard line. She tied the front of her gown open to reveal the fitted leggings and sandals she wore beneath. Drawing Peleus, she vaulted over the table in front of her, somehow managing it without knocking dishes, food, and silverware to the floor with her long train.

"Helena, wait!" Cygnus called, but she just glared at him angrily, raised the hilt of her sword to her mouth, and clamped down.

Zoro winced as she launched herself toward the axes, fully expecting her to rebound like the other swordsmen before her had done. To his surprise, she cut clean through to tops of not just one, but six axes. She stopped herself before the seventh, apparently aware of her own limits.

Taking her sword in hand, she straightened up, glaring at her father in triumph.

Zoro's heart fluttered.

"Aw, what are you grinning about?" Perona whispered to him.

"Nothing," he defended sheepishly, the grin she mentioned vanishing the moment she pointed it out. "It's just…I, uh, didn't expect her to keep working on that…"

Helena turned her glare upon the suitors, gesturing toward the axes. "I want it known that the man I married was at _least_ twice the swordsman I am, and ten times the man any of you will ever be."

"Oo," Perona said. "That doesn't sound like a woman who has a lover."

"No, it doesn't…" Zoro replied quietly, his mind trying to process what he was hearing. If he didn't know any better, he might think she was still in love with him.

Helena went on: "I am sure you all realize by now that you are nowhere near his equal, but you could at the very least _try_ to measure up to _me._ In the years you have been here, wasting my goods and my time, have any of you even attempted to train yourselves for this task?"

A valid point, Zoro thought. Even smooth-moves Calypso Blue apparently hadn't managed to cut through any of the axes, had he? For all he'd won _her_ over, he hadn't worked all that hard to win her _hand_.

A murmur passed through the crowd, and with wild eyes Helena turned on her heel, marching back to the table.

"Helena…" her father started.

"Do not lecture me, sire," she snarled, not bothering to keep her voice down. "You may be my father, but I am the Queen. I know what I want for this country, and it is not a weak, selfish, undisciplined fool, whatever favorable alliance he may bring to the table."

A powerful silence settled through the hall as Helena took up her place on the throne, glaring coldly at the crowd of suitors. Those who remained in line to try the axes started to back away, looking at Pompadour and Popinjay for guidance.

"Helena, I would never have you settle for someone who did not deserve you," Cygnus told her quietly, looking to Zoro for help.

Uh, had Cygnus just paid him a compliment?

The disguised swordsman sighed. Slowly he started to rise, but Perona pushed him aside. The Ghost Princess did not hesitate to confront Helena head on, glaring up into her eyes.

"That's pretty big talk, Queenie," she pronounced. "But here's the thing; I know the truth of who you keep in your bed!"

Helena's eyes widened behind her mask. Zoro could see the anger and fear pass through her in an almost physical wave. –Normally Helena wouldn't draw on an unarmed foe, but there was something wild about her now, just like when she'd beheaded the goddess in the garden. When she drew her sword, Zoro was already there to parry it, defending Perona from the Queen's wrath.

Helena glared at him for a bare moment before her eyes alighted on the gold band resting at the hilt of Wado Ichimonji.

"That sword…" she breathed, her blade faltering.

"It's alright, Helena," he murmured to her, and in that moment he genuinely meant it. "You didn't know."

He didn't want to look at her after that; didn't want to risk seeing her potential disappointment that he was still alive just when she had found love elsewhere. Placing the hilt of his katana in his mouth, he vaulted the table. With practiced ease, he launched himself at the steel, slicing cleanly through all twelve axe heads, even the partial ones Helena had left behind.

For a moment all that could be heard was the _clunk clunk_ of the broken axes falling to the ground. No one dared to say or do anything. Zoro straightened up, taking his sword in hand as he gazed triumphantly over the cowering suitors, who again turned to Pompadour and Popinjay for guidance.

Helena was the first to get her bearings. When Zoro turned back to look at her, it was not to find her welcoming him with open arms. She didn't bother vaulting the table again; she cut clean through it, forcing Perona and Cygnus to jump back or have fine china, silver soup tureens and porcelain gravy boats fall into their laps.

"How dare you?" she breathed, her rapier gleaming in the light of the crystal chandeliers. She launched herself at him, forcing him to parry. "HOW DARE YOU?"

"Helena, what…?!"

They exchanged blows, the sound of their swords echoing about the marbled hall as everyone backed away from them, giving them room.

"How dare you come here with his swords, looking like him, _sounding_ like him?" she accused. "What have you done to him?"

"Helena!" her father called in warning.

Though it partially hid her expression, Helena's mask intensified her eyes, heightening the wildness Zoro had seen in them earlier.

"Helena, it's really me!" Zoro insisted. Though he'd mostly played the defensive, he pushed her back with a strong blow, giving them both room. "Who else would be able to do that?" he gestured toward the axes with his sword.

"Zoro wouldn't come here!" she asserted, launching herself at him again. "He's not the world's greatest swordsman yet; if he were, we would have heard about it. Who are you really?"

"You're right, I shouldn't be here," Zoro replied, calmly blocking her. "Though technically you only said…"

"Oh, for Pete's sake, just take off the stupid mask, Zoro!" Perona shouted at him.

"I can't!" Zoro exasperated.

"Why not?" Helena asked, a victorious smile creeping over her face. "Because it would give you away?"

"Because you specifically said that you didn't want to see my _face_ in Ilium until I'd become the world's greatest swordsman!"

Helena's blade lowered an inch, the wildness in her eyes faltering as she chuckled in disbelief at his clever workaround. "That…sounds like something he would say..."

"Anyway, if my voice and swords aren't enough, I'm really not sure how my face is going to convince you," he pointed out, then wished he hadn't said anything. The wildness reignited in her eyes, and her countenance again hardened beneath the mask.

"Whichever god sent you, I suggest you back off before I make you pay for this cruel imitation."

"I'm NOT an imitation!" Zoro insisted angrily. Again with losing his own lookalike contest!—And just when he actually wanted to be recognized! What more could he do to persuade her?

"Helena…!" he started again.

She had yet to draw any of her other blades, but that didn't stop her from using her feet. He barely dodged a kick aimed at his mask, and that by use of Observation Haki. He didn't get a chance to speak after that; she came at him too fast and hard.

It actually pleased him to note that she had gotten stronger. It hadn't been by much though; leastways, not at the pace he had. There was something a bit different about the way she fought too. Her center of gravity had shifted; she had hips now when she'd been straight as a rail before. He had noticed it during her fight with Calypso earlier, but had just assumed it had come with growing older. Now he understood: her hips were wider because of their son.

Their son! –Now didn't seem like a particularly good time to bring him up. If he wanted to talk to her, he'd have to calm her down.

Zoro changed his stance, smoothly taking over the fight and putting her on the defensive instead. After a few blows, she roared at him in frustration:

"Stop it!"

Without even realizing it, she had started holding her rapier with two hands like a katana.

"You know this," he prodded gently as they circled one another.

"It's the East Blue Kata," she snapped, then went on faltering. "The one that you, that he…that we… But anyone could have learned it."

She really was determined not to believe him. He remembered how she'd recognized him as a fox, then immediately given up the notion. Whatever the stupid gods had done to her had destroyed something in her; not just her piety, but her hope as well.

She defended her delusion as though shattering it would break her. The problem was, she was clearly already broken.

"Fine; what about this?"

He switched it up, and soon she reverted to holding the rapier in one hand. This kata had more of a rhythm to it, like a dance. She apparently didn't feel like dancing though; as soon as she realized what it was she destroyed the rhythm, forcing him back with another roar and a well-timed lunge.

"Stop it!" she cried again. She didn't even bother to say what she knew it was; the rapier-katana form they'd created together for their wedding. She glared at him, her chest heaving with both physical and emotional exertion.

The fight had taken most of his concentration, but he could hear the suitors chattering to one another now. Pompadour's shrill voice pierced above the crowd:

"Now, you idiots! Get her while she's distracted!"

His brother, Popinjay tossed his fan into the air, signaling the assassins. All of the princes and marines threw off their hats and masks, sliding gas-masks over their faces instead.

Helena didn't seem to notice any of it. She charged at Zoro, the point of her rapier aiming to run him through. At the same time the marines disguised as princes lunged at her, ready for the kill.

Zoro's eye widened. He had only seconds left to think of how he would shake Helena out of her break with reality. It came to him as he drew his remaining two katana to defend her; particularly as he pulled out Sandai Kitetsu. The cursed blade reminded him of a different battle they'd fought once; he with her blade and she with his. He only hoped he correctly remembered the properties of her magical sword.

He focused on blocking the crowd of marines, and let her pierce him with Peleus, or try to. The blade dodged around his side of its own accord, and Helena, too shocked to recalibrate, fell half into an embrace against his chest with the momentum of the lunge.

Meanwhile Zoro held every one of the marines at bay with his katana; an impressive feat, what with twenty or more blades to three of his.

Helena's sword arm fell limply to her side, but she couldn't back up; Zoro had his swords crossed over her to keep the blades of the shocked marines at bay. When she got her bearings, she looked up into Zoro's straining face. He smirked at her around the katana in his mouth.

"Peleus can't hurt a member of the royal family," Zoro reminded her. "That includes your husband, doesn't it?"

"Zoro," she breathed at last. Her sword fell from her limp fingers, and she let her forehead rest wearily against his shoulder. "Dammit, Zoro. I'm not ready to face you yet…"

Whatever that was supposed to mean.

"I, uh, missed you too," he said awkwardly, his arms starting shake with the exertion of keeping the marines blades from slicing them both to ribbons. "Now, could you duck, please?"

Helena didn't move. A sudden hissing filled the air, and Zoro's eyes widened. That had to be the gas canisters going off. White smoke swirled in the corners of his vision.

"Helena, get down!" he barked. "And don't breathe!"

"Wait," she started, lifting her hands to his chest as though to stop him.

Crazy woman! There wasn't time for a tearful reunion. He took a step forward, shoving all of the marines back a few feet with a swipe of his three swords. His forward momentum knocked Helena roughly to the ground, and Zoro crouched over her in an attack stance.

"Zoro, I said _wait_!" she insisted again, but he ignored her.

" _Dragon Twister!"_

He released a tornado of slashes that threw the marines crashing into the far wall, or into tables, or through windows. A few of them didn't get back up. More importantly, the slashing wind caught the gas and blew it out of the broken windows and through the giant hole Zoro had just created in the marble ceiling.

"Did I say only _twice_ the swordsman I am?" Helena uttered, her eyes wide as she took in the strength of his attack. "Because I think that may have been an understatement…"

Zoro grinned. She hadn't seen anything yet!

The princes had all been crouched over the gas canisters hidden in the greenery in various parts of the hall, and so had managed to dodge the attack. That was fine by Zoro. It just extended the fun. Straightening up, he looked at them with a hellish gleam in his eye.

"When you realized you couldn't measure up to me, you should have run," he informed them calmly. "Now it's too late."

The princes squeaked, throwing off their now useless gas masks as they made for the enormously heavy main doors, which they themselves had sealed shut moments ago. They struggled to get them open in a terrified frenzy.

"Hector, NOW!" Cygnus shouted.

Zoro might have been puzzled at this; the General was nowhere in sight. Seconds later the big man meshed through the sealed wooden doors to appear suddenly amidst the terrified princes. He put his wood wood fruit to good use, melding the giant doors shut in a flurry of twisting branches.

The Princes turned to try and flee out of the broken windows next, but Hector's roots and branches grew at an alarming rate, twisting to block all of the windows and any other possible avenues of escape. The Princes turned toward Zoro in dread.

"Wait, let's be reasonable," Prince Pompadour shrilled, coming forward as spokesman, though he trembled in his bejeweled boots. "We see you're alive and well now, sir, and we have no reason to pursue the Queen anymore. Let us go in peace, and I am sure we can make ten times the recompense for any damage we have done or goods we have consumed."

Zoro sheathed two of his swords, but pointed the third at the trembling man. "You should have thought of that BEFORE you tried to murder my wife," he said calmly. "I suggest you all draw your swords. That is, unless you want to die dishonorably, like the cowards you are."

"Wait!" Helena cried again. She had gotten to her feet and stood between Zoro and Pompadour, facing her husband with her arms out, imploring. "Zoro, please. Just let them go."

"You're defending them?" Zoro asked, his temper flaring despite his best efforts to keep it at bay. Her strange behavior was starting to grate on him, and all his frustrations with her seemed to come pushing out of him in a snide remark: "I should have realized. You always did like having men chase after you, didn't you?"

"No!" Helena said, taken aback, "It's not like that, it's…"

One of the princes, no, by the size of his biceps he had to be a marine, used Helena's distraction to try to sneak up on her, pushing Pompadour aside. The marine made to stab her in the back with his sword, but Zoro was already there, running him through.

After that, there was no stopping the battle. The princes were forced to draw their weapons to defend themselves. Soon Helena's guards had joined the fray, led by Paris, who had a wildly triumphant look in his eye.

"VENGENCE FOR MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Zoro heard him say as he shot a spray of swords at the suitors.

As the battle raged on, the ceiling creaked, its stability shot after Zoro's dragon twister, and even moreso with Hector's branches and roots digging into the walls and supports. Zoro looked up just in time to see a chandelier falling straight toward him.

He caught a glimpse of forest green satin as someone tackled him out of the way. He and his rescuer skidded a few feet on the marble, landing clear of the shattering crystal.

The battle only paused momentarily at the shock of the chandelier falling. It picked up again seconds later, the princes showing they actually had some mettle as they fought for their lives.

"Thanks, Helena," Zoro said sincerely, attempting to get up.

"You jerk," Helena snarled from on top of him, keeping him pinned. "Why'd you have to come back tonight of all nights, anyway?"

"That's the thanks I get?" Zoro started, trying to straighten up again to no avail.

"What, for destroying my throne room?" she growled. "I had everything under control until you showed up. Maybe you haven't noticed, but the only reason I let any of them stay is because I'm trying to prevent a _war_ here."

Zoro pushed her off of him with force, gesturing toward the battle in frustration. "Look around you, Helena!" he cried, "These men conspired with your worst enemy to take over your kingdom! If you ask me, you're already AT war."

"I _didn't_ ask you…" Helena started angrily, but her father cut her off.

"The man's right, Helena," he said. He stood beside them, his sword at the ready. Zoro blinked at him in surprise; that was a practiced stance. When had Cygnus learned how to fight?

"You're taking his side?" Helena snapped, backing off of Zoro as she rounded on her father. "But you said…! But you…" she stammered angrily, "You're the only reason I allowed any of this in the first place!"

Trembling with rage, she looked from her father to Zoro and back again.

"Oh, to Hades with it!" she cried, drawing her sword and launching herself into the battle with a will. Despite his own frustrations, Zoro couldn't help but chuckle when she dispatched one of the princes with a loud: "THAT'S for staring at my bum, you perv! And you thought I wouldn't notice!" She turned to another one, ready to make quick work of him. "And YOU, Prince Franion! Don't think I didn't see how you were treating the serving girls! Pig!"

"Oh dear," Cygnus sighed as Zoro got to his feet. "I knew she was unstable, but I didn't realize how much or I might have warned you."

"Unstable?" Zoro asked, settling again into a fighting stance. "If you ask me she's completely insane."

"Please forgive her," Cygnus pled. "The past few years have not been kind to her."

As if that was an excuse! The past few years had been no picnic for Zoro either, but that didn't mean he had started pursing other women. -Or pretended his wife was dead to the point that he tried to kill her when they met. And since when had Helena started acting like a doormat, letting people walk all over her just to keep the peace? She wasn't at all the woman he remembered.

They didn't have a chance to keep talking after that. He vented his frustrations on combat as much as he could, but the princes and their navy allies didn't pose enough of a challenge. Somehow he and Helena ended the battle back to back.

Though she had been late to the fight, in her anger she had dispatched almost as many foes as Zoro had. Dressed as Death and his Wife, Zoro and Helena surveyed the scene in the stillness to follow, but were disinclined to turn toward each other. All eyes were on them, they knew, but they had nothing to say.

A slow clap echoed through the halls. It was Perona, who hadn't even bothered to join the fight. Leaning on her shepherds crook, she'd watched the proceedings, growing more and more delighted the more miserable it all became.

"That was fun," she said with a grin, surrounded by her giggling negativity ghosts. "Now for the real fight."


	14. Chapter 14 - Words that Splinter

Author's Note: This chapter has honestly been agonizing for me to write, and for some reason almost impossible to revise. I WILL change this chapter if I need to, and I'm not moving on until I am satisfied with it. Consider yourselves all Beta readers. -and consider yourselves warned...

* * *

 _Then the fight_

 _Sharp words splintering the night_

 _How I couldn't be what you need,_

 _But oh how I could make you bleed!_

 _-Vienna Teng, Antebellum_

* * *

Ch. 14 – Words that Splinter

"I, uh…" Helena started at last, turning toward Zoro with some trepidation. "I actually kind of enjoyed that. Thanks, I think…"

Zoro allowed himself a smirk, but it quickly faded. He could see the wheels turning in her head; the queen in her contemplating war, the woman in her not sure how to feel about his untimely return.

"Look," he said, his voice calmer than he felt. "I know you didn't want me to come back. There's something I need to know though, and then I'll get out of your hair."

"Wait, Zoro, I didn't meant to…"

"For good," he added with strained patience. "I'll leave you alone for good, Helena. You don't have to worry about me coming back here ever again."

"Zoro…" Helena said gently. She removed her two-toned mask, and he saw how tired she was. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. The gods have been…tricksome of late. To be honest, I can't tell you how relieved I am that you're..."

She was using her diplomacy voice on him.

"You don't have to pretend, Helena." His tone remained calm, but he cut her off impatiently, then went on in a pained rush: "I know about the other guy. And honestly, I think he's better for you. You've got my blessing, so…"

"Other guy?" she asked, then had the nerve to laugh. "Not you, too! Zoro, that's just a rumor. I don't have a lover, alright?"

The image of her in Calypso's arms flashed through his mind's eye. The way he'd talked to her, fought her, _danced_ with her; nothing about it had been innocent. The way they'd kissed, the way he'd held her, the way his hands had wandered; it had been a full on seduction, and she'd allowed herself to be seduced.

"Liar!" Zoro spat, his voice rising at last to match his emotion.

Her mouth fell open in shock. "What did you call me?" she breathed, narrowing her eyes at him as though unsure what to make of him.

He saw her pull the other guy closer; saw her long fingers laced in his hair; saw the salacious way she had kissed him back. Zoro had walked away, but it was obvious where it was leading. It was even more obvious that she had wanted it.

"I called you a liar, Helena," he enunciated, anger sharpening every syllable.

It was one thing for her to take on a lover in the wake of his ambiguous death, but it was another thing entirely for her to lie to him about it. Her integrity had always been something he'd admired about her; what happened to the woman who would give up her freedom, her kingdom, even her life rather than break her word?

"I wouldn't lie to you!" Helena's crestfallen expression might have twinged his conscience if he didn't have a loud, fuming tempest brewing inside him. The lies hurt all the worse coming from a face he had loved. – a face that even now he couldn't help but find beautiful, which made him hate it more than he'd ever hated anything.

"And I thought," she went on vulnerably, with the gall to have tears forming in her eyes. "I thought you of all people would have known that I'd never do something like that."

Not just lying, but trying to manipulate him too! He was a fool for ever trusting her in the first place. He had given her a power over him he never should have given to anyone.

"That's enough," he told her, his fist shaking at his side. He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs had constricted somehow.

"But I _didn't…!"_ Helena defended.

 _"_ Stop, Helena!" he warned. She needed to stop talking. Now.

"Zoro, I swear to you I don't…"

"I SAID ENOUGH!" He roared, and his hand came up almost on its own as though he would strike her across her lying, cheating mouth. She flinched, but she made no move to stop him, too shocked to defend herself.

His anger abandoned him, leaving him horrified as he and Helena stared at his uplifted hand, and then at each other. He stepped away from her, clutching his hand by the wrist as though to stop it from acting on its own.

Though he hadn't actually struck her, by the look on her face he may as well have. The conversation was effectively over. Helena walked by him without so much as a sidelong glance.

"Nysa," Helena called to the servant, who scurried over to her silently. "Please prepare two rooms for our guests tonight."

The Queen made to walk away, but Cygnus blocked her path, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Helena, he is your husband!" he scolded. "You insult him by putting him in a different room."

Helena and Zoro both stared at him in disbelief. Had he not seen what had just transpired?

"Work it out," Cygnus growled.

"It's alright, Cygnus," Zoro interjected. "It's someone else's bed now, anyway."

Helena's back stiffened, and Cygnus looked at him almost as if he'd never seen him before.

"Look, I won't even stay here in the palace tonight," Zoro went on quietly, though he had an intensity in his voice as he continued: "I came here because I want to know what happened to my son."

Helena turned to look at him over her shoulder, her angry gaze meeting his. "Our son is dead," she told him, her voice harsh with emotion. " _You_ killed him."

* * *

Cygnus – along with everyone in the throne room, really – watched in silence as Helena swept out of the hall. –Such a public display for two generally private people. The King sighed, then turned and started giving orders in the Queen's place. – clean up and the like. A busy hum filled the hall, but did nothing to lift the heavy gloom.

Amidst the chaos, Zoro hadn't moved except to remove his mask. He stared after Helena, looking about as lost as he did when he tried to navigate a city street, but without the usual unmerited self-confidence.

Cygnus marched up to him, the only shred of sympathy he had for the man he spent on not pinching the stupid bastard into oblivion.

"You, stay here," Cygnus commanded him angrily. He turned to Perona, who looked like Halloween had come early. She had mascara trails running down her face, and wailed loudly about how horrible it all was, but grinned through the process as though she were having the time of her life. Such a strange girl. "You, make sure he doesn't leave the palace."

"Waaaah! That was so romantic and dramatic and sad!" Perona cried, but then saluted, still sniffling. "Don't worry, King Goosey. You can count on me. If he tries to run away I'll just do this! Negative Hollow!"

Cygnus reached out a hand as though he could stop her completely unnecessary demonstration, but he was too late. The ghost passed through Zoro's chest, and Cygnus soon had Perona in an angry toe-pinch-hold for making matters worse, except…

Zoro didn't end up face down wishing he were an earthworm. He just sighed miserably where he stood, looked up at Perona and said: "Wow. I guess now I know how Usopp feels."

Cygnus released Perona, whose eyes had bugged out of her head.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK OF THAT HORRIBLE MAN!" she shrieked, then suddenly regained her composure, "I mean, you poor thing. Come on, let's find you some hot cocoa.– You! Lady with a clipboard. The Queen said there are rooms for us, right? This guy might need to lie down. King Goosey, don't look so surprised. There's nothing more depressing than finding someone so far gone that my hollows can't hollow them. Even I can't stand to see it!"

Cygnus left her to it, and went in search of General Hector. The wooden man was using his powers to create supports for the unstable ceiling.

"I suppose we now have an open air throne room," Cygnus observed to him. "I always thought we could use more natural light in here."

The General didn't look amused.

"That's the least of our worries," he grumbled. "Are you going to go talk some sense into Helena or shall I?"

"I will," Cygnus told him, "You know where you're needed. As Roronoa said; Ilium is at war now. Go to your men and report back to the Queen when you've got an idea of what Regent's next move will be."

"Report to the _Queen_ , sire?" Hector asked incredulously.

"Don't worry, I'll help her get her head back in the game," Cygnus said. "She's resilient, General. You know that."

"She's had to be resilient for a little too long and a little too young if you ask me," he replied. "She is a capable ruler until her personal life spills over; then she destroys temples and causes famines. – and tries to run her husband through with a sword."

"The gossip columns are going to have a field day with this, aren't they?" Cygnus chuckled.

"You really don't sound as worried as you should be," Hector pointed out.

"I've spent all day with her husband, Hector. If anything gives me hope for my daughter right now, it's him."

Hector glanced over where Zoro sat despondently beside a perplexed Perona, who had managed to procure that cocoa she'd mentioned. The swordsman held it unsipped in one hand, staring at nothing. As the General and the King watched, Perona's puzzled expression brightened. She retrieved a bottle of unopened sake from the wreckage around them, and poured it into the hot drink with a satisfied look on her face.

"You sure about that?" Hector asked in bemusement as Zoro still made no move to touch the chocolate. Perona took the mug from him, dumped it out, and filled the whole thing with sake this time, shoving it into his hand in frustration.

"Trust me," Cygnus replied. "I just need to get them to talk to each other. And there's obviously someone the man needs to meet, for both their sakes."

Cygnus found Helena in the first place he looked. It was dark out with no moon, but Cygnus knew that his daughter no longer feared the dark. He had brought a lantern out into the Grove of Kings, knowing she would have brought none in an attempt to conceal herself. Sure enough he found her sitting in her usual spot before Telemachus' tree. With her eyes squeezed shut, she might have been meditating, but the lantern light caught on the small white streams on her cheeks, giving her away.

Cygnus didn't say anything. He simply sat beside her and waited for her to speak.

"I'll be honest. You're the last person I want to talk to right now, Papa," she rasped.

"That's fine," he said. "So long as that means you'll talk to Zoro."

Helena remained in her meditative stance. "He's the least of my problems," she said haughtily. "How am I to explain to the neighboring kingdoms that their sons and heirs are returning home in pinewood boxes? It will mean war, if war isn't already at our doorstep. If he could have waited just one more day to come home, I would have sent all of them packing without further incident…"

"Are you really so certain of that?" Cygnus asked calmly. "They seemed pretty determined."

"You were the one who told me I couldn't kick them out in the first place," Helena pointed out. "You said that..."

"I didn't realize how low they would stoop to get ahead with the World Government. I was wrong, Helena, I'm sorry," he replied softly. And as he rarely apologized for anything, she stared at him for a good long moment before speaking again.

"You could have at least warned me," Helena murmured, turning away. "We could have met less publically. I didn't have time to process…to think…"

"To trust your eyes?" Cygnus asked, then apologized again. Twice in one night. Shocking, he knew: "I'm sorry, Little Swan. I know the gods have tormented you over him, but I didn't realize it had cut you that deeply. I thought you would be pleased. And be honest; it _was_ fun seeing the looks on everyone's faces when he cut through those axes."

Helena didn't smile. "I was too busy wondering how a specter from the gods could manage it," she admitted quietly.

"Did you honestly believe it wasn't him?"

"I…" Helena squeezed her eyes shut hard, but it didn't stop the tears from falling faster and harder. "I didn't want it to be him. I didn't know how to feel, just as I haven't known what to feel whenever I heard a rumor that he could still be alive. It was easier to believe he had died, if only because then…"

"You don't have to say it, Helena…"

"Because then Telemachus' death was justified," Helena finished, then went on, hiding her face: "But now…now my son died for nothing, and I don't think I can stand it."

Cygnus sighed. He placed his arm around her trembling shoulders, which felt kind of awkward for both of them, but kind of nice at the same time. He hadn't been the most affectionate father to her growing up; his degenerative condition after wearing the Mask of Zeus had made it difficult enough running a kingdom without having to deal with a strong-willed child on top of it. Back then, he'd known that Helena had Andromache and Hector to turn to to fill her emotional needs, and it had been enough for him.

But now that he had his strength and health back, he had the privilege to act as her Father.–the privilege and the challenge. Helena had inherited his stubbornness, and when she got an idea in her head it was hard for her to let it go.

"You need to stop blaming yourself, Little Swan," he murmured. "You need to accept that you and Zoro are both human, and that you're both mortal and fallible."

Her expression seemed to ice over. Her tears slowed.

"He almost hit me," she said with a quiet intensity that belayed her indignance.

Cygnus' expression hardened. It would take some time before he'd be able to forgive Zoro for that, but he knew there were more important matters at hand; namely that his daughter needed that rough and tumble pirate if she was ever to heal from their son's death. Anyway, the fact remained that he _hadn't_ hit his daughter, which helped Cygnus move past it for the time being.

"And you _almost_ ran him through with a sword," he pointed out bluntly. "I'd say you're even."

"He called me a liar!" Helena insisted.

"See, that's the part I can't puzzle out," Cygnus told her. "I was with him when he first heard that rumor. He didn't believe it for a second, and firmly defended you. Something must have changed his mind. Do you have any idea what it could be?"

"No!" Helena insisted angrily. "I have stayed true to….Oh…"

"Oh?" Cygnus asked as she straightened out of his embrace, looking horrified.

"No, it doesn't matter," she said dismissively.

"It does, if it means your marriage."

"My marriage is already over. In fact, I'm starting to doubt it ever happened in the first place," Helena growled, "He said he'd leave and not come back, which is fine by me. I never want to see him again."

"You're going to have to," Cygnus informed her. "Helena, it is not fair for you to hit him with the bombshell you just did without sharing with him the one ray of light that has gotten you through all of this."

Helena turned to look at him. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, because if you are, the answer is no."

"He has a right to…"

"If I tell him, he won't want to leave," Helena snapped, then added with malice: "And then what will happen to his precious dream, hm?"

"Helena, that is enough," Cygnus decreed, standing. "You chose this man. You set the challenge, and made your heart the prize. You were prepared to see it through then, and you will see it through now. – and another thing! Why don't you let HIM decide what he wants to do with his dream? He is man enough to know what he wants without you making stupid rules to protect his pride. – or is it _your_ pride you've been protecting all along, hm? After all, he would have chosen the sea and his crew over you in the end, even without your meddling, and that was more than you could handle, wasn't it?"

Helena gaped at him. No one had dared say it to her before, but he'd suspected it from the moment she'd made her provisos to Zoro's captain. Yes, she had loved the man and wanted him to have his freedom, but she wasn't as wholly selfless as she appeared. Anyway, those stupid rules had created this whole mess in the first place.

And as for the Queen's final secret: "So help me, if you do not tell him, _I_ will," Cygnus informed her imperiously. "Throw me in the dungeon or punish me however your queenly heart desires; I will break your decree of silence, not just for his good, but for yours."

He turned to walk away, taking the lantern with him. She surprised him when she spoke before he'd gotten too far:

"Wait."

When he turned, he found her on her feet.

"I'll do it," she said quietly. "I need to prepare him, though. Give us some time alone."

* * *

Zoro had never known what it was like to truly dislike himself before now. The gnawing anger and hatred he'd felt toward Helena for lying to him had given way to a self-loathing that went to the very core of his manhood.

For starters, he'd almost struck a woman. –Not just any woman, his wife! It didn't matter what she'd said or done; her actions didn't have the power to turn him into a monster, and yet in his anger he'd practically allowed himself to become one.

He didn't think he would be able to forget the way she'd flinched; the warrioress, the queen, momentarily afraid of being hit by her husband as though she were a common woman. He didn't like seeing her afraid, least of all of him. What had Calypso said? That Helena had a thing with pursuing men who were out to hurt her? Zoro had just proven him right.

Then there was the confirmation he'd received of something he'd begun to suspect: that his son had died because of him. Part of him still wanted to know how it had happened, but then, knowing how wouldn't change that it had, nor his culpability in the matter. In the course of a day he'd discovered not only that he'd been a father, but that he'd failed completely in that role.

He wanted to leave. Desperately. He didn't belong here in Helena's home; in his _child's_ former home. Leaving felt dishonorable, like running away from his problems. But was there anything he could do to make it right?

He managed to escape Perona easily enough. Oh, true to her word, she had dutifully watched over him until he'd been put up in a room for the night. Even then, she might have tried to keep watch outside his door, or maybe in his very room in her ghost form (she was creepy like that), but she was unable to do anything at present because she was lying in a drunken stupor in her own bed the next room over.

Yeah, he'd kind of driven her to drink. —Frustrated at his unwillingness to touch the sake she offered, she'd finished it off for him, and then another bottle, and another. Apparently being sloshed kept her from using her powers.

Zoro made his cautious way through the halls of the palace, avoiding people, keeping to the shadows, trying to find the exit. Soon he found a pair of doors he thought he recognized. He realized why as soon as he opened them.

It was Helena's gym.

Of all the rooms to wander into, it just had to be this one. Where were the guards she usually posted outside? Maybe no one bothered to guard it when she wasn't there. He entered in spite of himself, feeling a solemnity settle over him as though he had entered a temple. Emergency lights cast a hazy glow on her equipment, drawing shadows like memories on the walls.

He remembered the first time he'd walked in here; how she'd spun about the high bars with her long yellow hair whipping in a braid behind her. He remembered sparring with her on her balancing stakes, and making up the kata with her over on the floor mats when Chopper wouldn't let her do any heavy exercise. –There were the weights he'd used when he'd trained with her. Had he been in a different humor, he might have laughed when he recalled how determined she'd been to try and lift as much as he could. It was one of his favorite memories of her.

Come to think of it, she had more weights than he remembered. Well, hadn't she cut through half of those axes earlier that evening? She'd obviously improved her weight training since last he'd been here.

Other things had changed too. She had new equipment, and had moved some things around here or there. Most noticeably her meditation corner, where she used to start and finish her workouts by honoring Athena, had disappeared. In its place stood some sort of miniature wooden building with things to climb on and a tiny slide. A child's playhouse? –How old had their son been when he'd died? For some reason, perhaps because of his dream, he'd assumed the child had been an infant.

"Hector made that within the week he found out I was pregnant. He was so excited…"

Her somber voice behind him made his gut turn a somersault. He got to his feet, standing from the box-jump he didn't remember sitting down on.

"No, please," she said in a rush. "Don't go…at least, not yet. I…wanted to talk to you. There are some things you should know."

He couldn't bring himself to turn to look at her. Then again, he didn't have his mask on, and she didn't want to see his face now, did she? He sat back down.

"I'm listening," he said simply, his nerves on high alert. He wasn't even sure why. It wasn't like she was going to attack him again.

Helena walked toward him; her slow, hesitant footsteps echoed through the quiet gym as her presence weighed heavily behind him. After a pause in which he heard her take in a deep breath, she sat on the box jump with her back up against his. Neither said anything. Leastways, it was her turn to speak, and he wasn't about to break the silence.

"When you disappeared from your room, I thought you'd somehow end up in here," she murmured at last. "We fell in love in this gym, didn't we?"

Zoro didn't say anything. She was stalling.

She sighed heavily, swallowed hard, then went on:

"Before I tell you about our son, I want you to be able to trust me," she said. "Zoro, please hear me out, alright? What I said about my not having a lover is the truth. You are the only man I've ever taken to my bed."

Zoro's jaw clenched inside his mouth. His back must have tensed or something, because she seemed to sense the animosity he fought unsuccessfully to stifle.

"I know you probably have a good reason for not believing me," she told him in a rush, perhaps afraid that he wouldn't let her finish. "Maybe it's because…well… I want you to know I planned on telling you about this when I saw you again; that I never intended to keep secrets from you. I…"

She took a deep breath, then went on speaking faster still, as though saying it faster could somehow make it hurt less, like ripping off a bandage. "I kissed a man in the gardens today. Allowed him to kiss me, rather. Semantics really. – I regretted it as soon as it happened, and I sent him away as soon as I found my head."

Zoro didn't say anything. Again, he saw the way they'd kissed in his mind's eye, but he also recalled how she had tried to _stop_ the man from kissing her at first, remembering her place as a queen.

"I didn't intend to kiss him. I'm not even sure how it happened," her voice trembled, "I had just had news that the world government had lied to me, and that you could still be alive, so I can't even claim that I thought you were dead! – I didn't. In fact, I think there's a part of me that always knew you were alive and that you would return, just as you promised…"

Such a painfully honest confession, it couldn't help but smack of truth.

"I don't want it to sound like an excuse, but it was so far from what I'd ever allow that I suspect…well, I'd just made Aphrodite mad, I think, and I wonder whether she had a hand in it."

There actually was some merit to that. He remembered the goddess' carved marble head rolling in the fountain.

"It doesn't matter. It happened, I let it happen, and I…" she sighed, "Well, sorry doesn't seem to cut it, but it's all I can do. I am truly sorry, Zoro. That man was kind to me when the other suitors were not; he didn't waste my goods, and defended my honor countless times. In a way you could say that his friendship helped me survive these past few years. But he hadn't earned the right to my hand, and he'd told me that he wanted to be my lover not my husband, so his intentions weren't exactly honorable. I told him to leave, and I hope I never see him again."

"I hope that you do," Zoro put in quietly at last, and Helena took in a sharp breath. "He sounds like a better match for you than I ever was, Helena. He knew you longer, defended you longer. You should go back to him."

"But…" Helena rasped.

"You once told me you didn't care if I stayed true to you; that you wanted me to find love. Well, that's what I want for you now, Helena. You need a man who can be there for you; someone who would never hurt you the way I…"

The way I have? The way I almost did? The way I probably will? – how to finish the sentence…

"But I don't love him," Helena blurted out, cutting into his thoughts. There were tears in her voice. "I love _you._ I always have, and I never stopped, and if you only knew…"

"I killed our son, Helena," Zoro reminded her. There were tears in his voice now too. Maybe not just in his voice.

" _I_ killed our son," Helena confessed bitterly. "It's _my_ fault he's dead."

"But you said…"

"It was mine more than yours, and Hera's most of all," Helena told him.

Zoro blinked away the tears, trying to follow what she was saying. "I don't understand," he told her plainly.

"I think I'd better start from the beginning," she said. She took a deep breath, and began to unfold her tale.


	15. Chapter 15 - Helena's Tale

Author's Note: I really need to stop being so self-conscious about my work. Whenever I'm nervous you won't like something, I'm completely off the mark about what you won't like. The past couple of chapters have been well received - 100% favorable reviews (though some of you might just not be expressing your displeasure).

Well, I'm awfully proud of myself. I fit an entire novella's worth of expository backstory into one chapter. When I initially started this book, it was with the scene where Andromache, Hector, and Cygnus figure out that Helena is pregnant. (Then I decided it would be more interesting to discover things a bit at a time as Zoro does;it is called _Zoro's_ Odyssey after all). I'm glad I figured out a way to work it in via flashback, though.

Also: publishing a day early because I have no self control. ^_^'

* * *

 *************TRIGGER WARNING*********** \- **if you have ever lost an infant, this might be rough. If you don't want to risk reading it, PM me and I can send the chapter to you without said triggers, or give you a summary of what happens in this chapter so you don't have to read it. I describe (not graphically) the dying baby. (Obviously some symbolism involved as well, what with Hades coming to take the Royals and such).

* * *

Ch. 15 – Helena's Tale

"I got my reign off to a glorious start," Helena said with a weak laugh. "I mean, you and your crew were there at first to see it. – dancing at my own coronation, marrying a pirate, offending all the neighbors. I was ready to take on the world, and you all were my inspiration."

As she spoke, Helena almost smiled, remembering how she had been then. – How she'd tied Zoro's bandana around her ponytail every morning to remind her of his determination in the face of uncertain odds.

"Do you remember how the Navy broke their promise to my father, and attacked your ship as you sailed out?" She went on. "Bags tried to meet with me after that. You know who I mean, right? –The porker of a World Government liaison. He's been working off and on with Ilium for almost thirty years now, provided we'll let him."

* * *

"Bags wants to see you," Cygnus had warned her one morning, not long after the Straw Hats had left.

"Wait, doesn't he usually meet with _you_?" Helena asked.

"You're the Queen now, my dear. I gladly give this responsibility over to you!" Cygnus crowed. "Now, I warn you, he will try to waste your time with a board game. It's the only way he'll talk. So lose on purpose, or you'll be playing for hours. – anyway, I've begun to suspect he uses loaded dice."

"Board games?" Helena asked incredulously. "How old is this man again?"

"He's all set up in your study," Cygnus went on, grinning delightedly at her expense.

" _My_ study?"

"Well, yes. I don't need it anymore, do I?" Cygnus told her, practically skipping in delight. "Ah, retirement sure is nice. I think I'll go for a stroll in the gardens."

Of course, he'd done nothing of the sort, as Helena discovered soon after the fact. Curious to know how her first meeting alone with the World Government Liaison would go, he'd waited outside her door.

The meeting hadn't lasted long.

"Ah, Your Majesty," Bags said, bowing to her as she entered. "As you can see, I'm ready to play, like it's my job."

He indicated the colorful Monopoly board on her desk.

Helena stared at him icily for a moment. Never once doubting herself, she strode over to the game and knocked it aside, letting the pieces fall to the ground with a satisfying crash.

"It may be your job to play games, but it certainly isn't mine," Helena snapped, holding her head up proudly. "Care to explain why your people attacked my husband as he left port?"

"From what I understand, the pirates started it," Bags insisted, though he looked ruffled. "They tried to sail head on into our frigate, and…"

Helena drew a sword and pointed it at Bags' nose.

"Ever heard the phrase, _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned_?" she asked, smiling sweetly.

Bags' beady eyes grew about as wide as they could go.

"Well, it's wrong," Helena went on, and the smile disappeared. "It should be, _Hell hath no fury like a woman denied her honeymoon by a stupid fat man who broke his promise_. – The other one's pithier and easier to remember though."

"Your Majesty, please, hear me out…"

"Leave," she told him, lowering her blade. "Our trade agreements with the World Government are now formally at an end. You and your officials are not welcome in my ports, and you have twelve hours to evacuate yourselves from my kingdom before I have you forcibly removed. Good day, sir…"

"This was all just a big misunderstanding!" Bags pleaded.

"Misunderstanding? Was my mother's murder a misunderstanding?" Helena murmured dangerously. "Was the recent attack on my people? Don't try to deny it. I know you used Troy as both weapon and scape goat. Your people did something to him; when he came back he wasn't the man I knew, and I will get to the bottom of it someday, believe you me. Perhaps if you're forthcoming with me about it, I'll consider talking to you again over tea in a few decades or so."

"Your Majesty, please reconsider!"

Helena rewarded his pathetic plea by slicing one of the tips off of his famous mustache.

"Get. Out."

* * *

 _Now_ that's _the Helena I remember_ , Zoro thought to himself, his spirits lifting slightly at her story. "How did your father take it?"

"Not well," Helena confessed. "He immediately tried to dissuade me, saying I'd collapse our economy if I wasn't careful. I told him that if so much of our economy relies on the one trade partner, we haven't got much of an economy to begin with, but…well, he knew what he was talking about."

"I thought your Dad refused trade with the World Government for ten years after your mother died." Zoro wasn't sure he remembered that detail correctly, but Helena confirmed it:

"Yes, all the more reason he knew what he was warning me about. It can be done, but not without a good deal of difficulty," Helena explained, "Still, the people were on my side. It wasn't hard to convince them that Troy, an ex-marine, had been sent by the World Government to destroy us. They were hurting as much as I was. It didn't matter to Papa, though. –He was after me about it daily; and he wasn't above claiming I was emotionally unstable because I was pregnant."

A weighty silence passed between them. Zoro finally broke it, but hesitantly:

"When did you find out?" he asked softly.

"A little more than a month after you left," Helena murmured. "The others actually saw it first…"

* * *

"Have you guys noticed anything weird about Helena lately?"

Lieutenant Andromache addressed the question to General Hector and King Cygnus over lunch in the Queen's study. –a delicious lunch at that. Their cook at present far superseded his predecessor, though that wasn't saying much.

"Strange?" Hector asked, biting into a decidedly non-cheesey pastry with a look of satisfaction on his face. The entire pastry disappeared into his large, square jaw in a matter of two bites. "Strange how?"

"Well, during our pre-dawn training she couldn't stop crying," Andromache went on. "Has something happened that I don't know about?"

"My daughter's husband abandoned her a little over a month ago," King Cygnus pointed out with little delicacy, stabbing an olive with a fork. "Naturally she's still upset."

"Abandon isn't the word I'd use. He was sort of kidnapped if memory serves," Andromache replied, running her fingers through the half inch of pink fuzz on her head. Her pointed, pixyish face darkened into a scowl. "And anyway, I don't think that's it. Helena's never been one to cry her eyes out over a man. –in fact, I was thinking she'd handled Zoro's departure rather well, all told. Until today, that is."

"Perhaps—" Hector started, but stopped short when the door to Cygnus' office creaked open, and the person they were gossiping about walked into the room. "Good afternoon, your Majesty," he said a little too cheerfully.

Andromache kicked him under the table for being so blatant, but the normally astute Queen Helena didn't seem to notice anything. She seated herself with her usual sangfroid, her long, elegant figure held with precision against the leather-backed chair.

"Sorry I'm late," she told them. If she were as depressed as Andromache had said, she hid it well. "What did I miss?"

"We were just discussing…" Cygnus started, but stopped short. A servant had just brought Helena a dish. As he lifted the silver tray covering the food, Helena clapped a hand over her mouth and nose.

"Are you ill?" Cygnus asked.

"What is that smell?" Helena demanded. "I thought we hired a _good_ cook this time."

The three exchanged glances. King Cygnus sniffed through his large, beaked nose. "I don't smell anything," he said.

"Really, did he put a whole bulb of garlic in here?" Helena asked, indicating the pasta on the plate before her.

"I barely noticed the garlic," Andromache replied, inspecting the pasta on her own plate. "It's just a hint if anything."

"Nevermind, I'm not all that hungry," Helena said to the servant, closing the dish and waving at him to take it. Despite her words, she pulled the bowl of olives from the center of the table and started popping them into her mouth two and three at a time. "You were saying, Father?"

Cygnus eyed her with one fluffy silver brow raised, stroking his well-trimmed beard. "Helena…"

"What?" she asked through a mouthful of green olive.

"You hate olives."

Helena paused, looked down at the bowl, looked up at her father, shrugged, and popped another olive into her mouth almost defiantly.

Cygnus, Hector, and Andromache all exchanged wide-eyed glances.

"No…" Cygnus started.

"It couldn't be," Hector gasped.

"Just like Leda…" Andromache put in.

"What?" Helena asked innocently, pausing in her olive-feast to return their shocked expressions with a bemused look of her own. Before she knew it, her tall, lanky father had reached a flexible limb around her desk and grabbed her by the ear with his toes.

" _HONK!"_

"OW! PAPA!" she shrieked, trying in vain to escape him. "WHAT DID I DO?!"

"You promised me you weren't going to consummate!" he spat, brow furrowed in anger. "What in Hades were you thinking, you foolish…!"

"I took precautions!" Helena asserted, still unable to wrest her ear from her father's infamous toe-pinch. "What do you take me for!?"

"Precautions! Ha!" Cygnus pulled her closer so she could readily see the livid expression on his face. "What good are mortal measures when the gods are obsessed with propagating our bloodline?!"

He finally released her, and Helena stared at him in shock. "You can't possibly think that I'm…that I'm…-but we were only together for one night! I can't possibly be…"

* * *

"Pregnant," Helena chuckled softly. "And after all you were afraid something like this would happen."

"Yeah," Zoro said, then gave a start, "Wait, you knew?"

"I figured it out when I thought about it later," Helena confessed. "I mean, you never waited for permission to kiss me when you wanted to, you know. But on our wedding night you were just so hesitant, and some of the things you said–"

Zoro snorted. Did she have any idea just how nerve-wracking it had been for him the first couple of times they'd kissed? Or how vulnerable he'd felt at first when they'd made love?

"You're really sweet when you want to be, you know that?" Helena informed him. He snorted again in derision, though he secretly kind of liked it when she called him sweet. – just as long as Curly Brows or any of the other guys never heard her say it.

Her hand brushed his; a hesitant olive branch, it seemed. He caught her fingers in his before she could beat a nervous retreat.

Unseen by the other, each cracked a smile at the small victory.

"So, we tried to keep the pregnancy a secret as long as we could," Helena went on. "After what happened to my mother, we decided it was best if our enemies didn't know about it. Togas suddenly became very fashionable…" She snorted. "It didn't help much, though. Somehow the World Government found out…"

* * *

"Helena, you're sure this is Zoro's child?" Cygnus leaned over and whispered.

"Papa!" Helena barely stifled the exclamation from where she sat on her throne, swathed in artistic layers of fabric to hide her ever growing belly.

"I'm just saying, you look a lot bigger than you should," he pointed out from where he sat beside her on a smaller throne. "You and Troy were awfully close, and…"

"Need I remind you that in the month prior to Zoro's arrival we were all under siege in the palace," she whispered fiercely, "It's not like Troy and I could have had time for anything of the sort. Oh, and let's not forget that he was the one laying the siege to begin with!"

"Your loveliness!" Paris announced, entering the room with his usual aplomb.

"What about Paris?" Cygnus whispered, eyeing the man. "He's always liked you…"

"PAPA!" Helena snapped, then glanced sheepishly at Paris, who stared at them in confusion. "Yes, what is it Captain?"

"Monte Bags is back, I'm afraid," Paris said, bowing.

"Seriously _?"_ Helena sighed. "That man is ridiculously persistent. Tell the guards to throw him out. Again."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea this time," Paris informed her. "He mentioned something about war. Perhaps you should hear him out."

"War?" Helena paused for a moment, a _long_ moment, thinking. Her brain had felt more and more foggy as of late, but she did her best to try to hide it. She didn't need to give her father another reason to criticize her. "Send him in."

"Paris is a handsome fellow," Cygnus insisted as the Security Head strutted out of the room, "I wouldn't blame you if…"

"Will you stop it?" Helena growled. "You know you raised me better than that. –Zoro is the father, alright? We should just be happy the baby is growing at a healthy rate."

Cygnus grinned at her, pleased that he'd managed to rile her with his teasing. She should have realized he was just trying to push her buttons. If he really thought she'd taken on a lover, he'd have blown a gasket. He could at least have had the decency not to bring up Troy though. Sometimes she wondered at her father's lack of tact.

Bags waddled his way into the room, carrying his umbrella and a rolled newspaper under one arm. He puffed a few bubbles from his pipe, then retrieved the paper and flicked it open to the front page for her to see.

"Care to explain the meaning of this, Your Majesty?"

Helena didn't need to look at the paper to know what he was talking about.

"Yes, it would appear that the Straw Hats have declared war on the World Government," Helena said, smiling at him. "And burned Enies Lobby to the ground. Amazing the lengths they'll go to save one of their own."

Helena had thoroughly enjoyed reading the story over breakfast. It made her feel all the more justified for standing up to the World Government in the first place. After all, if Zoro and his crew could get away with it, and there were only seven of them, she and her nation would be just fine. Oh, sure, they all had to tighten their belts a bit (pregnant ladies aside) as they tried to adjust to the huge change in trade, but Helena firmly believed things would even themselves out. She had a stimulus plan already going, and…

Bags cut into her thoughts:

"Am I to understand that this declaration of war extends to your nation as well? Roronoa Zoro is, after all, your husband."

"Ah, but you will recall, he is my consort, not the King," Helena informed him glibly. "We are not responsible for what he does until he is crowned."

"You think you can write it off, just like that?"

"Yes, I do," Helena replied, grinning. "Or am I to understand that _you_ are declaring war on _us_? I have some gods to consult if that is the case."

Bags eyed her a moment in displeasure. "That won't be necessary," he said at last, then turned to go.

Helena smiled victoriously at his retreating back, but then he turned and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Ah, and I understand some congratulations are in order," he said almost as an afterthought. "So is it a little prince or a little princess?"

Helena jumped to her feet, her sword in hand almost instantly. The whole room went up in arms with the queen, including Cygnus, Paris and his guards.

Bags calmly eyed the Queen, ignoring the circle of spears pointed at his throat.

As she stood, her extra layers fell aside, making her belly more apparent, but at that point it didn't seem to matter. "How did you know?" she growled.

"I didn't. At least, not for sure," Bags said, grinning as he looked her up and down, "But now I do, like it's my job. So, boy or girl? I'd like to send a gift, you know, as a peace offering."

Helena lowered her sword, anger flooding her at having been so easily tricked. "I've decided I want to be surprised," she informed him, forcing her voice to remain even. "After all, if it's a girl, who knows what our more sleazy enemies will try."

"Enemies?" Bags asked. "I'd rather we be allies, wouldn't you?"

"In your dreams," Helena snarled. "Stand down," she added to her guards.

Bags smirked at her, then started waddling his pompous way out of the throne room.

"Oh Bags," Helena called to him.

He paused with his back to her.

"Try anything, anything at all, and we'll be on the attack this time. I'm done playing the defensive."

"I'm shaking," he called, walking away.

"You should be."

* * *

" _That's_ my girl!" Zoro said in triumph.

Helena could definitely hear the smile in his voice now, and it almost made her cry in relief. Just moments before everything had seemed so bleak between them. She went from letting him hold her fingers to holding his hand, just to let him know she liked being claimed by him again.

"If I had only taken an ultrasound, I might have realized…"

She hesitated to go on. The next leg of the tale was where everything went wrong, and she didn't want to lose the ground they had just regained.

"That it was a boy?" Zoro supplied.

"I didn't want there to be any record anywhere of the gender. I didn't even want the doctor to know. The heartbeat was plenty strong, so it was good enough for me."

"What happened?" Zoro asked when she hesitated longer. He squeezed her hand. "Come on, Helena. I can take it."

"If I had just let Papa take over for a little while…. I didn't let myself rest. I didn't want to be weak. Anyway, my vision and Papa's were so different that I didn't trust he'd handle things the way I wanted them…"

"Helena…"

Helena took a deep breath, leaning against his back and letting her head rest against the back of his shoulder. He'd gotten taller, and a little broader too. It was one of the reasons she didn't recognize him at first, but she kind of liked it.

"It was not quite seven months after you left," she started, and she felt him tense. Yes, if he did the math, he'd realize when that was. "Bags came by the same day it happened, even before it hit the papers…"

* * *

"I was just wondering," Bags asked. Again he stood fearlessly in her court, trying to wear her down with his persistence. "When you last heard from your husband."

If Helena hadn't been running on little to no sleep, she might have realized what an odd question it was in the face of the news to follow. She'd started to think jokingly to herself that there must be a couple of little people fighting each other in her stomach, what with the amount of kicks she felt any time she sat down to rest. Her child sure was feisty.

"I have not," Helena said. "You know that he and I are not in contact. Anything he has done does not reflect my wishes or Ilium's."

"I'd expect not," Bags said. "Roronoa Zoro is dead."

* * *

Zoro's heart jumped into his throat.

"He told me you'd been killed by Bartholomew Kuma," Helena said. "And I am ashamed to say I believed him. He showed me awful photographs that never made the press, confirming that the Straw Hats had been defeated, scattered. He said he didn't know the status of any of the others, but that you were a confirmed kill. That you had died first, even.…"

Helena started to shake.

"You all had meant so much to me. – That you had been defeated pulled the foundation out of everything I had been trying to build. I went into shock," she said tremulously. "The shock put me into early labor."

Zoro saw his dream again. –Kuma's attack passing through him to strike her and the child. His failure had passed through him straight to them.

"Before I knew it I was on a hospital bed. The doctor was on leave that day. We had to send for him, but he didn't make it in time. Andromache had agreed to be my doula, but she ended up having to deliver our son." Helena started to shake. "It all happened so fast. When Telemachus arrived, he was so small I could practically hold him in one hand. He was completely white, and he didn't cry, and he already had Hades' mark in his hand…"

-The golden pomegranate blossom, sign of a royal death. Zoro's throat tightened.

"He…didn't look like either of us, really; he looked like my mother. – no hair to speak of, just one little blue curl over his forehead. He was barely breathing. He never opened his eyes; he never saw me…" Helena broke down as she described him, and Zoro knew she saw the child vividly still. "- I begged Hades not to take him. –I kept asking for my swords. I wanted to fight him, but Andromache kept pushing me back down onto the bed. She had a good reason, but I fought her with everything I had. Hades was merciless. He stole Telemachus from my arms, and before I knew it I was holding the golden pomegranate. It weighed more than he did…"

Zoro turned around, placing a hand on her arm. "Helena…" he rasped.

"I shouldn't have doubted you," Helena cried out in sudden agony. "I should have remembered your promise. I should have known Bags would lie! If you want to accuse me of faithlessness, then it wasn't in loving another man. It was in doubting you at that one crucial moment. I let myself fear, and in my fear I destroyed our son!"

Zoro couldn't take it anymore. His grip on her arm tightened, and he used it to pull her around and onto his lap, grasping her forcefully to him. She hid her face against his chest, and together they wept for their lost child.

"I should have been stronger," Zoro averred, his voice tight. "We had no idea what we were up against; no idea just how underprepared we were. I never dreamed that my weakness would have had repercussions this far-reaching…"

"It was my fault for making those stupid provisos," Helena insisted. "I couldn't tell you anything and…" she started to look up at his face, but Zoro covered her eyes with his hand.

"No," he said fiercely. "Helena, the rules we play by have been damn inconvenient, but they saved my life once. We're not reneging them now. It wouldn't have made a difference anyway. It's not like I could have come back, even if I had known we were expecting."

The Grand Line was an unforgiving sea, and at the time he'd known little to nothing about vivre cards. He and the crew wouldn't have known how to go back. She needed to stop beating herself up over something that couldn't have been helped.

"You are not responsible for our son's death," Zoro told her firmly. "If anyone is to blame, I…"

"No," Helena cut him off. "Zoro, we both had a hand in how it happened, but Hera's the real culprit."

"How?" Zoro asked. It seemed pretty cut and dry. –no meddling gods in sight.

"Athena appeared to me a day later. I don't know why she came…maybe it was to assuage my bitterness. After all, she had once promised me that when Ilium needed you most, when _I_ needed you most you would protect us," Helena sighed. "I raged at her for lying to me, though she insisted that you were protecting me even at that moment."

"I was?" Zoro asked, feeling oddly comforted.

Helena nodded.

"You have to understand, when Bags showed up with news of your death, he already had an entourage of suitors with him, ready to challenge me for my hand. I probably would have gone and fought them myself, but Father took over…"

* * *

"Ann, get her out of here NOW!" Cygnus roared as Helena cried out in pain, sinking to the ground as she clutched her belly.

"I can take care of this myself," Helena shouted, looking out over the suitors with a half-crazed gleam in her eye. "I'll take all of them at once."

"Helena, you're still in shock," Andromache said gently, helping her to her feet. "Think of the baby right now, alright? We've called the doctor. He's on his way…"

"The baby's not coming for another couple of months," Helena insisted, "I'm fi….augh!"

"Her contractions are coming closer together," Andromache said in a panic.

"Then do as I said and get her out of here," Cygnus snapped. "I'll deal with these clowns."

Andromache bodily picked Helena up in her arms. The short, pixyish woman had no trouble doing it, but that came as no surprise to anyone who had seen the size of her sword. She hauled the Queen out of the room mid-contraction, while she was in too much pain to resist.

"But your Majesty," Pompadour insisted shrilly, stepping out of the crowd and addressing Cygnus. "We have the right to challenge her…!"

"You heartless, honorless coward," Cygnus seethed at him. "Helena's no longer a princess, and no longer bartering her hand for a sword match. If you want to marry her, why don't you try standing up to her husband instead?"

"But Roronoa is dead!"

Cygnus turned to twelve palace guards standing on duty. "You men, come here!"

For a moment the Princes might have believed they were going to have to fight twelve of the palace axmen. To everyone's surprise, the King gave orders for the twelve soldiers to stand their axes up in a line.

"Roronoa was famous for fighting with a sword in his mouth," Cygnus announced, "And famous for being able to cut steel. If you want my daughter, then I suggest you prove yourselves his equal. Hector, could you lend me a hand please…"

The General nodded in understanding, sending a mess of roots through the point of his spear and anchoring the axes into the ground.

"Go on!" Cygnus shouted to the stunned princes. "You all talk big. Let's see if you have any teeth."

He never got to meet his grandson.

* * *

"So you see that you protected Ilium with your reputation alone," Helena told him. "So her prophecy hadn't been wrong."

"That's kind of cold comfort," Zoro sad flatly.

Helena snorted, but then sobered. "That's what I told her. I told her flat out she was grasping at straws, but then she insisted that you were still alive. She even gave me a…" Helena hesitated, then went on, "Nevermind, the point is, that claim hurt more than anything else she could have said. If you were still alive it meant…" she hesitated.

"It meant that our son died for no reason…" Zoro supplied in understanding. No wonder she had been in such denial this whole time. No wonder his return had been more bitter than sweet.

Helena nodded and sighed. "Athena is a goddess of wisdom. She is all logic, and I think she didn't take into her calculations the emotional affect her words would have. She tried to comfort me by letting me know that nothing could have saved our son. Even if I had carried him to full term, he was doomed to die because Hera decreed it."

"What?" Zoro cried.

"The gods can't attack mortals directly, not unless they've been attacked first, but that doesn't mean they can't affect their desired outcomes on us," Helena explained. "I don't know what part she played in our son's death; maybe she helped Bags reach me at just the wrong moment, when I was most tired and vulnerable. – maybe she knocked the wheel off of the palace doctor's chariot so he couldn't get there in time. Suffice it, according to Athena, nothing could have saved our son. If he hadn't died then, he'd have died another time, because Hera willed it."

"Why?" Zoro seethed.

"Because she hates you," Helena murmured. "Because you didn't give her the golden apple."

"WHAT?" Zoro roared, his arms contracting around her, shaking in his rage. "She killed our son over a BEAUTY CONTEST?"

Helena nodded into his chest. "So I, uh, kinda destroyed her temple."

"I'll do worse than that if I ever see her again," Zoro declared.

"I already have done worse," Helena informed him meekly. "See, if you think about it, Hera didn't act alone. Zeus and the other gods allowed her to go unchecked in getting her stupid revenge. The way I see it, they're all responsible."

"So you destroyed all of their temples?" Zoro asked hopefully.

"Well, no," Helena said. "I did declare all of the temples off limits though. For a while, no one was allowed to worship the gods. I kinda caused a plague. And a drought. And a famine."

"Oh," Zoro said, not quite sure how to react.

"Yeah. It wasn't long before I had to relent for the sake of the people," Helena confessed. "I made restitution with the gods and allowed their worship again. I don't pray to them anymore though. And while the people can pray to Hera as they see fit, I refuse to let anyone rebuild her temple.

"As you can guess, I became pretty unpopular for a while, and I no longer had the backing of the people. Papa used some, uh, drastic measures to get me past my pride and to start up trade with the World Government again. On top of that, while we were recovering from the blights I brought down on us, we couldn't afford to mess up trade with our neighboring kingdoms either, which meant I had to let the stupid princes have their way. – I had a brilliant plan to get rid of them tonight, but…"

"But your husband came home?" Zoro asked, not sure if he should laugh or cry.

"Not so much that you came home. You just kinda cut them all up, _dear_."

"Yeah, I kinda did," Zoro said unapologetically. "They had it coming."

Helena chuckled at his unrepentant tone: "Yeah, I guess they did," she admitted.

It felt amazing to hear her laugh at something he'd said. –to hear her laugh at all after everything he had put her through.

Zoro straightened up with Helena in his arms. She dutifully kept her gaze averted from his face as he placed her on her feet.

"Can we start over?" she asked quietly. "We both behaved abominably tonight, and I'd rather forget it ever happened."

"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "Some things happened that can't unhappen, but I'm more than willing to try again from where we are now."

She couldn't look at his face, but that didn't mean he couldn't look at hers. He saw on her averted profile a small smile tweak her mouth; the mouth he had almost struck.

He deliberately got down on his knees before her, bowing his head to the ground both in reverence and so that she could look at him.

"Zoro…?" Helena started.

She had openly and willingly apologized; in fact, she'd impressed him by confessing the truth to him without even knowing that he knew about what had happened in the garden. Not only that, but she had laid her heart bare, telling all of her secrets despite the pain of divulging them. Of the two of them, only one now remained who needed to make amends.

"You have said your share," he told her quietly. "Now it is time for me to say mine. Beloved, I should not have doubted your fidelity. But regardless of your actions or what I believed, I should not have raised my hand to you."

"Zoro, it's alright," she murmured, touching his shoulder.

"It is _NOT_ alright," he said with force, and she straightened up almost as though he had commanded her. "You are no common woman, but even if you were, I would rather cut off my own hand than strike you. Consider it a promise. –my word as your husband and protector. I will cut off my hand if I ever raise it to you again."

Helena hesitated a moment at this dramatic vow, perhaps worried what its implications would be should he have to follow through with it. She was right to worry; he'd shown her an ugly side of him he didn't even realize he had. Forgiveness was all very well, but forgetting only meant it could happen again.

"Very well," she responded at length. "I accept your apology and your promise. But please; you are not one of my subjects. Do not bow to me again. It makes me feel lonely; like too much separates us."

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Zoro said.

She crouched down to offer him her hand, though she kept her face turned aside with the self-control he'd come to expect of her.

"I hope that I never give you reason to feel anger like that toward me again," she said sincerely, helping him to rise. "After all, your three-sword-style would suffer if you had to start using your feet. You always were rubbish at toe work."

Zoro snorted. "It looks like in that regard you've got me beat," he said. "So are you a five-sword-style swordsman now?"

"Nah," Helena said. She turned, leading him by the hand as she spoke. "That's one too many swords for my liking. I just wanted to make sure I could win my hand back. –that was my Plan A before the princes made the idiot move of trying to assassinate me."

Zoro followed her as she led him to the playhouse Hector had built for a child that was not meant to be. – not to the playhouse, to the wall paneling behind it. Helena reached out and pushed some of the paneling aside, revealing one of the palace's many secret passages.

"Where are we going?" Zoro asked.

"To my last secret," Helena said. "There is someone you need to meet."


	16. Chapter 16 - Kuina

Author's Note: So, I'm going on hiatus after this chapter. I'm not sure how long; I'm thinking of forcing myself to take at least a month long break. Writing everything up to this point has been really emotionally draining. I'm predicting the story is going to be a good deal more lighthearted from here on out, but still. - gotta recharge my batteries.

So! Full disclosure at last! Did you guess at Helena's secret? I tried to hint toward it, but I also hoped to keep you confused right til this moment. I hope it was worth all the heartache, and that you can forgive Helena for being crazy and emotional and weird. Now without further ado, the author proudly presents: Zoro's Odyssey, Chapter Sixteen - Kuina.

* * *

Ch. 16 – Kuina

The secret passages led all throughout the castle, Zoro knew. He'd used them once before. He hadn't realized there was a hidden entrance leading from Helena's gym, but it didn't come as much of a surprise when they ended up in Helena's private quarters.

"That's strange," Helena whispered as they stepped through the door hidden behind her bookshelf. "Papa was supposed to be here. I had him relieve Andromache for guard duty. He wanted to see this…"

"Guard duty?" Zoro asked, whispering because she was. "Why would your father be on guard duty?"

"I've been training him in swordsmanship. Didn't you notice?" Helena asked. She still spoke quietly, but he could hear the note of pride in her voice. "He's doing rather well, I think."

"That explains a lot. He wasn't half bad in the fight back there," Zoro replied pensively, "But that's not what I meant. –Why would your room need a…guard…?"

He trailed off as his gaze alighted on the tiny figure curled up asleep against Helena's pillows.

"Helena?" he asked, his good eye growing round in shock. "Helena, who is that?"

"It's precisely who it looks like," Helena replied, and he could hear the sly smile in her voice. She still had him by the hand she'd used to guide him through the passage, and though he'd involuntarily gravitated toward the bed on his own, he hadn't gone more than a few steps ahead of his wife before he froze.

Helena released his hand and gave him a little nudge. "Go on," she said.

He didn't budge.

Helena nudged him again. "Go on. She doesn't bite." She chuckled quietly, " – wait, that's a lie, she does. It's a phase. We're working on it. Unfortunately she seems to have inherited her Daddy's strong jaw, so her bites can leave quite a mark."

The little person on the bed had inherited more than his jaw. A chin-length mess of hair hid her face from view, but there was no question who the child belonged to. – The hair was mint green.

"You said we _only_ had a son!" Zoro accused in as hushed tone as he could manage, still rooted to the spot.

"I never said that," Helena retorted. "Though I have worked hard to make sure people believe it. I let all kinds of rumors run wild. –even the rumor that I had a lover."

"…the ghost child!" Zoro murmured. "It wasn't a ghost at all! Your servants heard an actual baby crying! It was her!"

"That's right," Helena said. "There are no royal ghosts in our family. Hades always takes us, body and all when we die, remember?"

"Twins…?" Zoro went on faintly. He still hadn't moved, so Helena started pushing him with two hands to his back.

"Twins," Helena confirmed, grunting at the effort of pushing a man too petrified to move. "We didn't know she was there because their hearts beat in tandem when we listened. – She came second. Hades returned to take her too, but the doctor arrived just in time to save her."

She managed to push him the remaining few feet, his heels carving two small trails into the fine carpet as he dug them in.

"If there could be any silver lining to losing Telemachus," Helena said, panting with the strain, "It was the ability to keep her existence a secret. Because he died, no one realized the possibility of another child. Only a select group of people know she exists: Hector, Paris, the palace doctor, Andromache, my father…"

"Your father never said anything," Zoro continued in disbelief.

"He couldn't," Helena said apologetically. "I issued a strict gag order. No one could say anything about her to anyone outside this room so to speak. Not even to you."

"She's never left this room?" Zoro asked accusingly. Now that he had the mind to look for it, he realized that Helena's room had a few changes just like her gym. Child proofed doorknobs, toys in a toy chest in the corner, a child's scribbled drawings on the wall, a rocking chair…

"Oh, she has, don't worry. The secret passages help with that. Anyway, what do you think that playhouse is doing in my gym?" Helena asked. "I get to spend precious little time with her, so she 'works out' with me in the morning. I also come see her for lunch. And though we talked about giving her her own nursery, I decided to have her sleep here in my bed for her safety. I am her guard at night…"

Zoro stared down at the sleeping toddler, still too stiff with nerves to do more than run his fingers through his hair.

"What's the matter?" Helena asked after a failed attempt to get him to kneel down by the bed for a closer look. "What are you so nervous about?"

"I don't know!" Zoro confessed, stuck in the confusing no-man's-land between laughter and tears. "Helena, I'ma…I'ma…"

"Papa?" a sleepy voice asked.

Zoro gave a start as he noticed that the little girl had been awake and watching him. She sat up, rubbing the sleep away with little fists, and blinking at him in confusion. She had her mom's russet brown eyes. Oh, those were going to spell trouble for him, he could already tell.

"She knows me?" Zoro gasped, emotion welling up inside his chest cavity and threatening to spill out of him in a most unmanly fashion.

"Look up," Helena said, and he could hear the confusion of laughter and tears in her voice as well. "I made _sure_ she would know you…"

Zoro glanced up to see his wanted poster pasted to the canopy of Helena's bed, right above where the child slept.

"No matter how hard it got, or how angry I felt toward you sometimes, I never let her see it," Helena assured him. "I told her all about you; every story you told me of your adventures, anything I had read in the papers. I wanted her to know what an amazing man her father was _…_ _Is…_ "

"PAPA!" the girl cried again, wide awake this time. She bolted up onto her feet in the bed, jumped, and Zoro suddenly found himself with her arms and legs wrapped around his middle. Though small for her age, she had a good, strong grip, and long limbs like her mother. She still wasn't big enough to wrap them all the way around him, so she clung to his clothes with her fists and her toes as if to hug him harder. "PAPA COME HOME!" she cried giddily. "PAPA COME HOME!"

Helena stood beside him now, and smoothed back the little girl's hurly-burly hair. It looked like it couldn't decide if it wanted to be curly or not, and so just hung in wild waves about her face. Zoro had no idea where that could have come from; he and Helena both had arrow-straight hair.

"That's right, Kuina Bee," Helena said as she smoothed the girl's hair, and Zoro chanced a sidelong glance at his wife to see her smile. "Papa's come home."

"What did you call her?" Zoro rasped.

"Oh…yes, I forgot to say," Helena mumbled, and then got a bit sheepish. "Her name is Kuina."

"Kuina?" There was no holding back the tears now. He turned his face upward to hide it from his child – after all, he didn't want her first memory of her father to be of him crying, even if it was out of joy.

"I, uh…" Helena said, slightly alarmed. "Well, yes. I wanted to name her after a strong swordswoman. She meant a lot to you so I thought I'd carry on her legacy. Is that…are you…ok?"

Zoro laughed heartily. Everything was more than ok.

"Just as long as you don't mind her being Queen Kuina someday," he pointed out, still chuckling, "That sounds kinda weird."

Helena laughed too. "You know, I never actually thought about that."

"Even though you nicknamed her 'Kuina Bee'?"

Picking up on her parent's mirth, Kuina started to giggle. She had the most adorable laugh Zoro had ever heard, beating Chopper's by a long shot, which was saying something.

"Oh, watch out. –you remember what I said about her biting?" Helena warned, "She does it out of emotion."

"OW!"

Helena winced on his behalf. "I guess she's happy to see you."

* * *

Several leagues away from Ilium, a young marine captain paced the deck of his vessel. He'd been antsy since he and his crew had left port, but none of them had been able to draw the why of it out of him. His Vice Captain approached him for the umpteenth time that evening.

"Captain Coby-San, you're really starting to worry the crew. What's the matter?"

"I didn't get to warn them. – Either of them," Coby muttered under his breath.

"Warn who about what?" Helmeppo demanded.

"That little girl is in danger," he murmured. "And it's all my fault."

"You put a kid in danger?"

"I can't say," Coby told him, brows knitted in concern. "If I do, I'll put you all at risk!"

"At risk of what?" Helmeppo demanded. "Coby, this is starting to get ridiculous! You know your men support you. In fact, I'd hazard to guess you've got one of the most loyal crews on the grand line. If there's something you need us to do, we'll do it. Do you want us to turn back?"

Coby looked at him with haunted eyes, but then seemed to get a hold of himself. "It doesn't matter," he said with hard-nosed resolve, "The danger to our men has passed. Our heading is the same."

Helmeppo saluted, though he glanced back over his shoulder as he turned to walk away. Whatever was eating at Coby's conscience, it was sure to turn into action sooner or later.

Coby turned his gaze out to sea. He said something, but he spoke too softly for Helmeppo to hear.

"I'm so sorry, Zoro," her murmured to the waves. "Regent knows you have a daughter."

* * *

In front of a certain Drum-maker's stall, a squat man paced back and forth, bristling so much that his normally glossy white mustache seemed to poof out like a pin cushion beneath his nubby nose.

"Regent is a fool, like it's his job!" Bags spat, pacing. "He won't listen to me!"

The sounds of battle raged from the streets around them, but the small side-street in which Calypso's stall stood remained abandoned but for the two men.

"He's still trying to go through with the plan, mon?" Calypso asked, calmly packing up his drums as though he hadn't a worry aside from his wares.

"In a half-baked sort of way, yes!"

"Even though we're losing?" Calypso glanced at the end of the street, where he saw a couple of marines completely overwhelmed by a few of Helena's people. While the marines had better guns, the Iliads – both soldier and civilian alike – had the advantage of knowing the city, and most were well-trained in close combat. The marines didn't have a prayer.

Calypso didn't do anything to save his allies; just turned back to Bags with his brow furrowed pensively.

"The attack at the palace was a disaster," Bags went on. "Cygnus and Helena both survived. Roronoa Zoro returned at just the wrong moment and took everyone out, like it's his job. I knew he was still alive! And I KNEW he was here! That Coby brat lied to us! – On top of all that, General Hector's men were prepared to counter the marines positioned throughout the city. We've been thoroughly trounced, but Regent still hasn't called a retreat!"

The screams of the beleaguered marines at the end of the street punctuated his point, but neither Bags nor Calypso turned from their conversation.

"I thought Regent sent for reinforcements, mon," Calypso put in.

"Yes. Reinforcements that are going to arrive on _wooden boats,"_ Bags exasperated, waving his hands in the air for emphasis. "Do you think they'll get anywhere with General Hector watching the harbor?"

Calypso just shrugged.

"Ugh! So now we've got a PR nightmare on our hands. Soon I'll have to go in and smooth things over with Ilium AGAIN. Like it's my job. – As if it wasn't hard enough the last time!" Bags ranted. "That idiot says he's got some plan underway to capture Cygnus; all he's interested in is revenge! You'd think he'd be more worried about the possibility of splitting that disgusting head of his further; I've told him time and again, he has to capture ALL of the royals at once, or we're just going to repeat the disaster of twenty years ago."

"What are your orders, mon?" Calypso asked calmly. With his wares now safely packed away, he turned to Bags and casually rested a hand on the hilt of one of his machete. "You want me to bail our men out?"

"No," Bags said firmly. "If there is one good thing that has come from all of this, it's that that lying brat Coby unwittingly gave us leverage to use on the Queen in the future. Regent is going to lose this battle, and when he does I am guessing it won't be long before we mobilize CP4. – your orders are the same. Befriend the Queen; retain her trust, even if that means killing our own."

Calypso's brow furrowed in disappointment.

"What?" Bags asked.

"That means I can't kill Roronoa, doesn't it?"

"I didn't say that, necessarily," Bags said, grinning as he smoothed and twirled his frazzled mustache back into place. "From what I hear, he and the Queen aren't exactly on the best of terms right now. Use your better judgement though; don't be an idiot just because you're jealous of the man."

"Jealous?" Calypso's lip twitched. "It's not about jealousy, mon. There's nothing he can do that I can't do better…" Then he added under his breath, "…whatever that stupid tramp says."

"Is that so?" Bags asked.

"You'll see," Calypso told him with full confidence. "I'll take his wife, then his life. And I won't blow our cover in the process."

"I thought you said you didn't go after women who don't deserve to be played."

Calypso's expression darkened. "Oh, she deserves it mon," he growled. "No one insults Calypso Blue and gets away with it."

Bags laughed loudly. "A woman is going to be your downfall one day, Blue," he proclaimed.

Calypso chuckled in good humor. "I can't think of a better way to fall," he said with a saucy grin. He turned to walk casually toward the battle.

"Hey, Blue," Bags called after him, and Calypso paused. "Feel free to show them what you're really capable of. Convince them you're on their side, but make sure they know to be afraid of you when the time comes."

Calypso shot a grin over his shoulder. "You sure about that?"

Bags nodded. "Like it's my job."

Calypso's grin widened, a flash of something wicked flickering through his strikingly blue eyes. "I always did like working for you, mon."

* * *

Helena had to carefully extract Kuina from where she'd sunk her teeth into Zoro's arm, hanging off of him like an incredibly determined leach. When she'd finally gotten her free, she set her on the ground, shaking a finger at Kuina's nose.

"No biting," Helena said firmly. "Kuina hurt Papa!"

Kuina's eyes grew large. "Papa no get hurt," she insisted. "Papa big, strong pirate!"

Zoro smirked.

"You're right," he warned, rubbing his arm. That was probably going to leave a bruise. "Next time this big, strong pirate may have to bite you back."

"That mean, papa," Kuina informed him, shaking a finger at him like Helena had done to her. "No biting."

Helena giggled, hiding her face to try and stifle the sound. Meanwhile the little devil lifted her arms toward Zoro, stating in the universal child language that she wanted to be picked up. Zoro wasn't exactly familiar with universal child language, so he needed a prompting from Helena before he did anything.

"Gampa Pinch, Honk honk!" Kuina informed her father very seriously when he lifted her.

"Yes, where is your Grandpa Pinch?" Helena asked.

"Honk honk!" Kuina insisted. "Gampa, goose!"

"She's never called him 'Grandpa Goose' before," Helena mused aloud, "Though I suppose it fits."

Zoro's brow furrowed, and he turned a serious gaze to his daughter. "Grandpa, goose?" he asked.

Kuina nodded vigorously, then lifted her arms out wide, flapping them like wings.

"Gampa fly! Yodel-odel-odel-odel!"

"That's not good," Zoro said in alarm.

"What's not good?" Helena asked.

"Here, take her for a sec," he said, attempting to hand Kuina to her mother. The child apparently didn't want to let go of her father now that she had him, though. She clung stubbornly to his neck, despite whatever efforts he made to pull, twist, or turn her. Eventually he gave up; somehow she ended up hanging down his back like a cape.

He took her with him to inspect the large French doors leading to the balcony of Helena's room. They were ajar.

"All he'd have to do was open the door," Zoro muttered to himself. "If Circe honked and started yodeling he'd have no chance. She probably didn't even know where he was. If she did, she would have taken the kid too."

He noticed a broken window pane in one of the French doors; something he'd done ages ago. Helena had had the remaining shards of glass removed, probably to keep Kuina from cutting herself, but she hadn't replaced the pane.

Zoro smirked at the memory, but then his brow furrowed. Cygnus wouldn't have had to open the door to hear Circe then. Her voice could have reached him in this room, then controlled him in animal form to open the doors and fly to her.

"Honk! Yodel-odel-odel!" Kuina repeated. "Honk-le odle odle skreeee!"

Zoro winced at the imitation of bad yodeling. Yup, that clinched it. This was definitely Circe's work.

"Zoro, what's going on?" Helena demanded. "Did something happen to my father?"

Kuina finally released him, jumping to the ground and crouching near Zoro's feet. When she turned back to her mother she held out a feather, the same pure white as Cygnus' hair.

"Mama," she informed her with a stern expression on her little face. When she furrowed her brow like that, she looked a lot like her mother. "Gampa goose now. Fly away. Mama and Papa bring Gampa back?"

"What…?" Helena started.

"That's right, k—…kid," Zoro said. He couldn't bring himself to call her by her name yet; it just felt too weird. He liked that Helena had named her after Kuina, but it would take some getting used to. "We're going to bring him back. Preferably before he becomes someone's dinner."

"Someone's dinner?!" Helena exclaimed in real alarm now. "Zoro, what's going on?!"

"I'll explain on the way," Zoro said. "I just hope we're not too late…"

* * *

Unfortunately for Cygnus, Captain Circe wasn't about to dawdle this time. Stuck as a goose again, the king struggled fruitlessly to get out of her grip as she tramped up the gangplank of an enormous navy warship now brazenly harbored in their port.

Cygnus' legs had been tied together after he'd hit her with a few good, webbed-toe pinches. She had also tied his wings to his side with twine, and she dragged him by the beak to keep him from trying to bite her. Not that pinching, biting or attempting to fly away would do him much good now; all the woman had to do was yodel and he'd be back at her side again.

She kicked open the door to one of the cabins, then stomped inside without waiting for an invitation. An old, blinking lightbulb cast a murky orange glow on one half of the room, barely illuminating an old, dented, wooden dining table standing at its center. Cygnus could sense someone on the other side of the table, but the light hardly reached whoever it was.

Knowing the funding that the Navy generally had, Cygnus had the feeling the dim lighting was a purposeful choice. It certainly created a frightening ambiance. Cygnus gulped when he noticed a plethora of animal bones scattered about the room.

Circe tossed the trussed up goose onto the dining table without ceremony.

"There's yer royal pain, Vice-Admiral, sir," Circe informed him. Though she spoke brazenly, something about her overstated bravado made Cygnus think she was compensating for her own terror.

"At last-ast!" A voice echoed from the dark side of the table. "You're lucky, Captain-ain. This may just make up for your little slip-up from earlier-er."

"So roast 'im already," Circe said dryly, turning to leave.

"Not yet-et," the voice said menacingly. A blue, scaly hand reached from the darkness to lift Cygnus from the table by his long goose neck. "You're not dismissed until I say you're dismissed, Captain-an; I still have use for you-ou. Now turn the king back-ack."

"Turn 'im back?" Circe asked, slightly alarmed. "Yeh ain't gonna eat 'im as a human, are yeh?" By the terrified look on her face, Cygnus didn't doubt that he would do it. An echoing growl issued from the shadowed portion of the room, and Circe honked without further complaint.

Cygnus felt the familiar pins and needles through-out his body. A flash of golden light momentarily illuminated the cabin, and Cygnus caught a glimpse of his captor before the light faded and the king fully regained his human form, bursting his bonds.

The Vice-Admiral's blue hand held him up in the air by the throat. Despite his predicament, the king managed to choke out a snarky comment. He really couldn't help it; the Vice-Admiral's current state was more than well-deserved:

"Hello, Regent. You're looking handsome as ever," he rasped, grinning vindictively at the grotesque monster of a man.

With an angry snarl, Regent raked a clawed hand across Cygnus' face, dropping him onto the table. The king cried out in pain and clutched at the wounds as blood filled his vision.

"Do you know how long-ong I have waited to do that-at?" Regent's face caught some of the light now, but mostly shadow, showing his mangled, split head to grisly effect as he loomed over his captive. "I'd warn you watch-atch that sharp tongue of yours, Majesty-y, but I guess it's too late-ate."

"Aren't you going to kill me?" Cygnus managed to rasp, lifting a shaking, blood-stained hand away from his face. Thankfully he still had his vision, but the wound ran deep. It was definitely going to leave a mark, provided he lived through this.

"Trust me, your highness-ness; you will pay the ultimate price-ice for this little makeover-er," the Vice-Admiral growled, showing the needle-sharp teeth lining his split mouths. "Unfortunately-y I need to post-pone my revenge-enge until Ilium-um has been secured-ured."

Cygnus mustered the courage to push himself into some semblance of an upright position, and glare at him through the blood. "You still think you can take us, baby-snatcher? Sounds like the two halves of your brain aren't communicating with one another like they used to."

Vice Admiral Regent lifted one tree-trunk of a leg and slammed it down onto Cygnus so hard that the table split, then shattered beneath him.

"Don't worry about us-us," Regent replied, stepping through the rubble to press a booted foot to Cygnus' already cracked ribs. "Reinforcements-ents are on their way-ay. Anyway, now that we've got you-ou, we're at more of an advantage-age than you think-ink."

The King didn't try to resist much. Not that he enjoyed being manhandled, but he realized by now that struggling wouldn't do him much good. He knew he wasn't anywhere near strong enough to push the enormous man off of him.

"Your heretic daughter-er doesn't have the gods-ods on her side anymore-ore, does she-ee?" Regent went on, leaning forward to press down on Cygnus' lungs further, "–her pirate may have returned-urned, but from what I've heard-eard he won't be willing to fight-ight at her side-ide. That means-eans that the only real threat-eat from the god powers-ers is you-ou."

Though Cygnus struggled for air, his brain kept working a million miles a minute. Regent was operating under some strange assumptions. – Yes, Helena had offended the gods, but that didn't mean they wouldn't serve her. They had to if she consulted the Sybil. –and where did he get the idea that Zoro wouldn't help her? Sure, the two had quarreled. Cygnus had no idea if the prideful idiots had managed to make amends, but the pirate had already shown he would fight to defend Helena, despite some pretty powerful misgivings.

He wasn't about to let Regent know as much, though.

"I suppose there is one other person-on with access to the god powers-ers," Regent went on, lifting his boot off of Cygnus' chest at last. He placed two enormous, clawed hands on Cygnus' shoulders, lifting him easily and placing the tall, lanky man on his feet as he towered over him. "But she is a little young-oung, don't you think-ink?"

Cygnus' eyes widened, too shocked to hide his surprise. "No…" he gasped in consternation.

"That's right, Cygnus-us," Regent simpered, dusting Cygnus off with would-be conviviality and a crocodile smile. "Did you honestly think-ink you could hide her from us forever-er?"

"You may as well kill me now, halfwit," Cygnus told him point blank. "There is nothing you could possibly do to make me help you."

"I'm afraid you have that wrong-ong," Regent informed him, then nodded to Circe. The Captain let out a honk in understanding, and Cygnus found himself again enveloped in the now-familiar golden light as he transformed back into a bird.

"Now, Your Majesty-y," Regent said, grinning impishly at the goose in victory as Circe took in a breath to do her mind-control yodel. "Let's meet this lovely granddaughter of yours-ours."

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* * *

Author's Note: So, didja guess? Didja guess? Didja? - I didn't hear many theories after the last chapter about what Helena's final secret could possibly be, so I'm genuinely curious what you thought. By the way, I can now say it: Telemachus is well and truly dead. Gone. (Probably chillin' with Leda in the underworld somewhere, if that makes you feel better.) You didn't think I could do it, did you? Also, Hera's a...well, you know, a witch. Feel free to hate her. I do.

Here's where I come to you for help. I could really use some ideas for Zoro-Kuina II interactions. What are some things you'd like to see happen between Zoro and his daughter? I've got some personality traits vaguely decided for her, but I'm open to suggestions. You can already see she's got a problem with biting, a la Sunny Beaudelaire. (Actually, my inspiration from that came from life. My ten month old likes to bite me, and it seems like it's always in the same place on my arm. I've got a bruise like Zoro's! ha ha!) Remember, she's not quite two, which limits what she can do/say.

I look forward to your thoughts. Thanks for reading! Review please!


	17. Chapter 17 - Sword Tango

Note from the Author: I'm back! Did you miss me? I don't think I'll be getting back on a regular update schedule again. I've got some kinks to iron out with the plot from here to the end. But for now, I hope you enjoy the ridiculous silliness of this chapter as much as I did.

Also, did you guys not like Princess Kuina? I just didn't get much of a response when I thought there'd be general squee-ing. That in and of itself is probably my answer, but I thought I'd check.

* * *

Ch. 17 – Sword Tango

"Papa come home! Papa come home!"

"Alright, Little Love. It's time for you to calm down and go night night," Andromache said as the little girl bounced up and down on Helena's huge four-poster bed.

"No night night!" Kuina insisted. "Papa go bye bye!"

"He'll still be here when you wake up."

Kuina paused in her antics to turn a wide gaze at her nurse. "Pwomise?" she asked.

Andromache nodded, and the child flopped down in the middle of the bed. "Want Papa _now,_ " she said with a dramatic sigh, letting her arm fall across her forehead. "Papa have to save Gampa."

"Yes, if he said that's what he's doing, that's what he's doing," Andromache said, scooping up the little girl and tucking her underneath the covers. In all honesty, she hadn't quite understood all of what was happening. One minute Helena and Zoro were fighting, the next Helena was letting the man meet Kuina. Now they'd said something about Cygnus being kidnapped with a goose. Or was it _by_ a goose? How in Tartarus was that even possible?

Whatever the situation, it had Andromache itching to get out onto the battlefield with Hector. Cygnus was obviously in trouble. Unfortunately her current assignment left her on guard duty.

"Ann?" Kuina asked. "Why papa won't stay forever?"

Andromache sighed. This was a conversation the child should be having with her mother, not her nurse. She was spared having to respond by the sound of wings flapping and a loud honk.

"Well, that's odd," Andromache said, approaching the French doors leading to Helena's balcony and peeking through the drawn curtain. "Why is there a goose outside our window?"

She thought she'd left Kuina tucked in bed, but the child moved fast. She pushed past Andromache, throwing the doors open wide.

"Wait! Kuina! You know you're not allowed outside…!"

"GAMPA!" the girl shrieked. She threw her tiny arms around the goose's neck. "Gampa have owie?" She asked, patting the creature's bloodied face.

Something about the situation had Andromache's hackles up. She raised her hand, grasping the hilt of her enormous sword as she stepped out onto the balcony behind her charge. A faint song, like yodeling but also like an opera singer gargling pudding, floated on the breeze. It sounded awful. Maybe that's what put her nerves on edge.

"Gampa?" the girl asked again. "Gampa ok? Need kiss better?" She planted the kiss on the top of his beak, but the goose just stared at her with glassy eyes.

"Kuina, step away from there and come back inside," Andromache chided. The big white bird gave her the creeps, in part because he did kind of resemble Cygnus, but mostly because it acted like a robot. "You know you're not supposed to come out here."

"No!" Kuina pouted, hugging the goose close to her. "Gampa home! Now Papa come home too!"

Andromache took a step toward her, only to stop short as the goose spread its wings wide. It flapped them at her, buffeting her with short bursts of wind. The warrior nursemaid blinked, and suddenly the goose was airborne with the little princess clinging to his back.

"Weeee!"

"Kuina, no!" Andromache cried, reaching toward her.

The Goose dodged around her, carrying the child out of reach as Andromache whipped out her sword. She cursed when she realized she couldn't afford to throw a slash. Taking down the goose meant Kuina would fall a long ways into the gardens below.

"Higher, Gampa! Higher!"

Andromache pulled out a transponder snail, eyes wide with horror as the bird brazenly kidnapped Kuina right in front of her eyes.

"Calling Nursemaid Unit! This is Lieutenant Andromache de Hector. We have a code green. I repeat, code green! The chick has left the nest!"

* * *

Normally Hector would have received the signal. The military grade transponder snail hidden within the shoulder of his wooden armor picked up anything the various units sent out. But at that particular moment his line was tied:

"General Hector, this is Helena. Do you copy?"

"Your Majesty!" he said in genuine surprise. Despite Cygnus' reassurances earlier, he hadn't expected to hear from the Queen any time that night. "I would have reported in sooner, but this little skirmish has hardly been worth your attention. The Marines are on the run. I have their ships gridlocked…"

The gridlock of which he spoke was a woven conglomerate of bark and branches. They sprouted in spiraling wooden braids from his infamous spear, which he had driven point down into the main dock only a few minutes prior.

His power had its limits – while he could meld with any type of wood and make it sprout, he could only reach as far as that particular kind of tree could grow. But with so much wood to work with within the dock and the ships, he'd easily managed to tangle all of the Navy's forces in a winding forest of trees.

"…Do you want me to sink them?" he went on, "Or are we going to let the cowards withdraw?"

Though their leader hadn't called an official retreat, the Marines had started to flee on their own. And with good reason. Helena's proud people weren't pleased when news of the attempted assassination reached them, and they didn't hesitate to violently show their displeasure. In the end, Hector's men would probably face more danger trying to quell the riots later than fighting the marines now. Their enemies had been spread too thin, thinking the people would be poisoned and thereby easy pickings.

"Neither!" Helena called in response, "Hector, they've got my father!"

"What?!"

"It's worse than that." The voice coming through the transponder now was Roronoa's. Hector bristled. The last he'd seen of Zoro, he'd been about to strike his Queen across the face. The General quelled his anger, focusing instead on the emergency at hand. "They've turned him into a goose again. Circe's on the loose."

Hector swore. "I thought Perona took care of her!"

"Apparently not for good," Zoro replied. "And she's kind of passed out right now. She can't help us."

"Zoro's filled me in, somewhat," Helena put in, "We've just checked out the old barn Captain Circe was using as a hideout. It's completely deserted. Any sign of Regent?"

"I've caught the flagship along with everything else," Hector reported, eyeing the enormous ship with displeasure. "But I haven't seen him. No one has."

"Alright, we're coming down there. Get everyone on this," Helena commanded. "We can't let Regent get his hands on Father, or he's as good as dead."

"Aye, Majesty!"

"Sounds like bad business, mon," Calypso said when the General ended the call. He'd stood beside Hector with both of his machete drawn, defending him from enemy fire so the wooden man could focus on entrapping the navy's ships.

"Anything I can do?" the swordsman continued.

"It looks like the harbor is pretty much secure," Hector said. He pulled his spear from the dock, leaving the wooden gridlock in place. Turning, he surveyed his men's handiwork. Hector's soldiers were just accepting the beleaguered marines' white flags of surrender. "Thanks in part to you. I'm glad you didn't end up getting caught in the massacre at the palace."

"No, I wish I'd been there," Calypso growled with convincing concern. "I'd have given Roronoa a taste of my steel."

Hector smirked at him. "Well, he and the Queen seem to be working together for the time being. Her Majesty is resilient, but she deserves better."

Calypso nodded at him. "So the rumors are true then? Roronoa really…?"

"I can't confirm or deny anything," Hector said, walking toward his men, who had started cheering in victory. "I had to leave to take care of this mess. I didn't see anything more than an argument."

He turned his attention to addressing the marines, and so didn't see the malevolent smile spread across Calypso's handsome features.

"Alright, you cowards!" Hector bellowed. His men fell silent as he found one of the marine captains, who knelt cowering with his hands above his head. Grabbing him by the front of his white coat, Hector lifted him into the air. "You've attacked us without an official declaration of war. You've tried to assassinate the royal family. And now you've kidnapped our King! Give me one good reason we should let any of you leave here alive!"

The man only managed a squeak in response. Though the captain was large by normal standards, Hector was almost twice his size. He had probably given himself up for dead the moment Hector singled him out.

Hector threw him in the general direction of the flagship.

"Tell the Vice-Admiral to return our King, or we will execute every last marine and government official on the island!" Hector snarled.

* * *

Helena stashed her transponder snail, gripping the reigns of her chariot horses as they pulled her and Zoro pell mell through the battle in the streets. Behind her, Zoro clung to the sides of the chariot for dear life as friend and foe alike dove out of the way to avoid being hit.

"Are you trying to kill somebody?" he dared to complain.

"Hey, it's my chariot! I drive it how I want. You want out?"

Zoro muttered something under his breath about female drivers, but Helena decided to let it slide. They had more important things to worry about.

"We're almost there," she informed him curtly.

A cheer passed through the streets, catching them both off guard. In the blur around them, they caught glimpses of marines dropping their weapons, their hands raised in surrender.

"I guess we just won," Zoro observed.

"Yeah, I guess we did," Helena replied without enthusiasm. –Not that she wasn't pleased that the short-lived battle had ended in her favor, she just had something else on her mind. She slowed the chariot just enough to shoot her husband a glare. He had his white mask on again, so she didn't have to worry about breaking any rules. "Explain to me again how this Captain Circe's powers work?"

"I told you, she just has to touch you and she can turn you into an animal," he said, apparently not detecting her annoyance. "Once she's touched you, she can control you by yodeling, and transform you at will by making your animal call."

"Oh really?" Helena said acerbically. "And what does a _fox_ say, exactly?"

Zoro shifted uncomfortably behind her. "Uh, why do you ask?"

Before she could answer, she had to yank the reigns. They'd pulled into the harbor area of Mycenae, and while everyone with sense cleared the way, someone had planted himself firmly in the chariot's path. Helena jerked the horses aside to avoid him, but threw herself and Zoro from the chariot in the process.

Zoro chivalrously pulled her against him as they flew, taking the brunt of the crash landing and ensuring that they rolled to avoid injury.

"What kind of idiot -?!" she started as they straightened out of the dust of the street. She stopped short when she caught sight of their roadblock.

Calypso.

Zoro saw him too. He jumped to his feet.

"YOU!" he and Calypso spat at each other, each drawing a sword.

"I thought you told him to leave!" Zoro growled to her.

Helena face-palmed from where she still knelt in the street. "So did I," she grumbled.

"I couldn't just _abandon_ the Queen in her time of need, now, could I mon?" Calypso pointed out, tweaking his brows upward on the word 'abandon' for emphasis.

"Like Helena and her people actually need help from jerks like you," Zoro said, rather rudely Helena thought. Well, despite his tone it was kind of a compliment, but her men booed him. They'd been jeering and making rude gestures at him since he'd entered the harbor, actually.

"Oh, but I wasn't talking about the battle just now," Calypso started. He glared meaningfully at Zoro. "So is it true that you hit her, mon?"

Zoro's sword faltered a couple of centimeters. "What…?"

"It's all over town, mon," Calypso went on. "How the Queen's husband finally came home, dispatched all of her suitors in a jealous rage, and then beat her for her infidelity."

Helena sighed. It sounded like a tiny spark of gossip had turned into a conflagration. What a PR nightmare.

"So is it true, mon?" Calypso prodded.

Helena stood, dusting herself off as she spoke. "Mm hmm," she put in, nodding. The jeering soldiers in the square fell silent at this quiet affirmation. Zoro stared at her, wide-eyed. Both men had lowered their swords in shock.

"He beat you?" Hector cried in dismay.

Though generally not one to care about his reputation, Zoro looked positively mortified. He could be labeled a murderous pirate hunter and not blink, but Zeus-forbid anyone call him a wife-beater.

"Oh, yes," Helena went on mischievously. "It hurt so good."

Every man in the harbor, from Calypso, Hector, and Zoro to the last enemy marine, stared at Helena with his mouth dropped to the ground.

"Helena!" Zoro exclaimed at her sidelong through his teeth. He had gone bright red, right to the tips of his ears. It was actually kind of cute.

"I, uh, didn't realize you were into that kind of thing," Calypso said, taken aback though a devious smirk quirked the corner of his lips.

"What? He's a passionate man," she added, shrugging. "He is, after all, the Hurricane Lover."

"WHAT?!" Calypso roared, suddenly animated. "Alright, now it is _really_ on, mon!" He pointed his sword at Zoro, who was quick to follow suit.

"Fine by me," he said. "Let's settle this!"

* * *

Zoro glared at Calypso with his jaw clenched inside his mouth, brow deeply furrowed behind his mask. The stupid thing restricted his vision some, but he didn't need his eyesight to fight.

"Gentlemen, please!" Helena started, raising a hand to each of them. "We're all on the same side here…"

They ignored her.

Launching at one another with all the speed and skill of Master Swordsmen, their blades rang cleanly through the square. –Only, they hadn't struck one another. Helena had put herself between them, stopping them with two of her rapier.

"Is this really the time, you two?" she growled, glaring at Zoro, "My father is in danger, remember?"

"Oh, this can't wait," Zoro said.

"No it can't," Calypso agreed, "This is a battle between men, mon. You wouldn't understand."

They lashed out at each other again, forcing Helena into a spin. She still managed to keep them from actually clashing with each other, and ended up holding Zoro back with Peleus, and Calypso with one of her foot blades.

"Stop it!" Helena insisted, glaring at her husband.

"Oh, come on!" Zoro snapped, gesturing angrily at Calypso with a free hand. "Helena, he's even checking out your legs right now!"

Helena turned the glare on Calypso. Before they had set out in search of Cygnus, she had quickly changed from her tattered and restrictive party dress into a plain, white chiton. That meant Calypso had a full view of her long, well-toned legs, something of which he took full advantage.

"Can you blame me, mon?" Calypso asked, grinning at Zoro across her extended limb.

"Not really," Zoro admitted. "She's got nice legs."

"GUYS!" Helena cried. It was her turn to turn bright red.

The two men shot toward each other again, only this time Calypso grabbed Helena with his free hand and twirled her gracefully out of the way, trapping her against his side while defending them both against Zoro's blows.

"Not _this_ again," Helena sighed as Zoro glowered at him.

Zoro lashed out. And just to let Calypso know he knew _exactly_ what he was trying to pull, he repeated that same sword pattern he'd done in the garden.

 _Clash. Clash. Clink-clink. Clash._

"Oh, Gods!" Helena groaned, rolling her eyes. Calypso spun her this way and that, and she resignedly followed his lead.

"I'm curious, mon," Calypso said, repeating the tango pattern himself. He ended holding Helena upside down in a full swan-dive. "How is it that you recognized me?"

"Yeah, Zoro," Helena glared at him from the impressive, balletic pose. "How _did_ you recognize him?"

"Has my sweet 'Elena been talking about me?"

"I'm not your sweet anything!" Helena snapped. "And it's Huh-lena, with an H, idiot. But it's 'Your Majesty' to you!"

Zoro smirked. Unfortunately, despite her witty repartee, she couldn't fight her way out of Calypso's strong grip. Not for lack of trying. Her efforts led to a few more dance moves, as Zoro slashed at him to try and break her loose.

One dip in particular put Helena directly in the path of Zoro's sword. Fortunately she blocked it herself.

"So are you going to answer the question?" Helena demanded, glaring at him over their crossed blades.

"I think you already know," Zoro replied, glaring back at her.

She "Hmph!"-ed in response. What was she getting all huffy about anyway?

As if to say he'd given her the wrong answer, she pushed his blade back, turned and spun with Calypso. Taking the lead in their little dance, she reversed the dip on the diminutive man. And because they were all already so used to it being a fight, the three of them exchanged a few more blows in the process, though no one landed a real hit.

"Well, this is a nice change," Calypso observed, completely at ease in her arms.

Helena raised an eyebrow at Zoro over Calypso's dreadlocks.

"Fine!" Zoro snapped. "I got turned into a fox by Circe, alright? I saw the whole thing. That doesn't change anything. You still made out with him!"

Helena dropped Calypso, ignoring his loud: "Oof!"

"I might not have if you had just answered me when I asked if it was you!" she snapped, slashing at her husband. She was using Peleus, so it wasn't a real threat, but it still emphasized her anger. "We could have avoided this whole mess!"

"Oh, so now it's _my_ fault?" Zoro replied, blocking her and slashing back. He wasn't going for a real hit, leastways not anything she couldn't easily block. Calypso jumped in the way to defend her though.

"Trouble in paradise?" he goaded.

"Yeah, no thanks to you!" Helena snapped, leveling a blow at him.

"Well you know what they say, mon," Calypso put in, blocking her with his second machete as he held Zoro at bay with the first. "If you love two, go with the second, because if you really loved the first, you never would have strayed."

Helena's jaw dropped.

"I. Don't. Love. You!" she snapped, slashing at him recklessly. "And I didn't stray! He was playing dead!"

Zoro wasn't feeling particularly generous toward her, especially after _that_ remark. "I guess you have a point, short-stuff," he snarked to Calypso. Zoro kicked him in the back, making the smaller man stumble into Helena. "You two are perfect for each other."

Calypso turned the stumble into a graceful spin around her. Wrapping her into his muscular arms with his two machete still in hand, he trapped her tightly against him.

"I couldn't agree more, mon," he laughed.

Helena bent backwards to glare at Zoro upside down as they twirled. "I'm so going to kill you when this is over," she growled at him.

Zoro grabbed her arm roughly as they spun by. He'd only meant to pull her away from Calypso, but it made her barrel-roll gracefully through the air. She almost landed flat on her back, but he caught her by the back of the neck mere inches from the ground with his sword free hand.

They stared at one another for a moment, breathing hard. Then he moved to get her upright, and he accidentally guided her into another twirl. Nothing about what he was doing was graceful, or even intentional, but he somehow ended up with her up against him. Her leg wrapped around him as he grabbed hold of it to try and keep her from losing her balance.

"Why, Zoro!" Helena gasped, flushing, "I didn't know you knew how to tango!"

He smirked. "There are a lot of things about me you don't know," he murmured to her alluringly.

"Oh, come on!" Calypso cut in. "He's obviously faking it, mon!"

He slid his sword in between them, forcing them apart. Even with both swords occupying his hands, he managed to steal her again. Calypso moved her in an obvious, basic tango step, his machete and her rapier pointing ahead of them as he charged her unwillingly away.

Strains of Latin music flitted through the air. They came from the guitar strings of a sleepy looking musician hanging about the docks. Zoro recognized him from when he'd been in Ilium before: the man was one of the singers from _Homer's_. Orpheus. He'd sung at Zoro and Helena's wedding. Just whose side was he on, anyway?

 _Pena de tu ausencia sin retorno,  
pena de saber que no vendrás.  
Pena de escuchar en mi abandono,  
voces que me acusan al llegar._

A few more musicians joined him. There had apparently been a bit of a concert going before the Marines had attacked. Soon a full tango was really underway, with Calypso pulling Helena this way and that, his steel clashing on Zoro's as the pirate tried in vain to steal her back.

"I just don't think…" Calypso informed Helena, practically _ignoring_ Zoro as he turned his full charm on her. The nerve. "…that a man like that deserves a second chance. If he could walk away from such beauty once…" he ran the flat of his blade along her curves, drawing an angry growl out of Zoro, "Who is to say he won't walk away again?"

Helena swiped his blade from her side, and for a moment, actually managed to break free. She struck a flamenco stance, holding two of her blades in a rigid spiral around her as she stomped one of her feet in protest.

"Ever heard of the expression, if you love someone you let them go?" Helena asked, glaring at him.

Zoro scooped her up in one arm. She was strong enough to curl up into a cradle against him, even as he used his other arm to swipe at Calypso.

"And if they return to you, they're yours," Zoro finished for her. He'd heard Curly-brow use that line about Nami once. Hopefully it would have a better effect with Helena.

Helena popped out one of her legs. Zoro spun her so that the rapier in her toes almost slashed off one of Calypso's dreads.

"Hmph," Calypso kicked Zoro in the chest, catching Helena as she dropped. "But who will you really return to in the end? Because after her, you'll go back to your first love: the sea."

He placed her on her feet, leading her in a quickstep around him, and dodging the blades in her toes as she tried to trip him up.

"You think the _sea_ is my first love? Eh, well, you know what they say," Zoro said, grabbing her arm and tugging. She spun herself into a cuddle at his side, continuing the illusion that he knew what he was doing. "If you love two, go with the second, because if you really loved the first, you never would have strayed."

Calypso sneered at having his own line used against him. He lunged with both blades forward, and Zoro and Helena had to dive apart from one another to avoid being skewered. Taking her again, Calypso tossed her about in an impressive lift. Someone threw a rose, which he caught in his teeth. Dipping his 'partner', he spun the rose about in his mouth, raising one seductive brow as he leaned over her.

"Is that the best you can do?" Zoro scoffed.

Stealing Helena back, he copied Calypso's move almost exactly. –Well, his more willing partner did embellish it some, so it looked even more impressive. Someone tried to throw him a rose, but he sliced it lengthwise, letting its petals explode around them. As he dipped her, he placed a sword in his mouth instead…

…and flipped it with his tongue.

"HA!" Helena let out a triumphant guffaw. She shot Calypso a victorious look, gesturing toward Zoro as if to say, 'Beat _that_!'

But then she turned a glare on Zoro. "I'm still mad at you, you know," she grumped.

"Really?" Zoro asked, taking his sword from his mouth and pulling her upright against him.

Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the dancing. Maybe it was how damn fine she looked in her chiton. Whatever the case, Zoro was feeling particularly bold. He stole a kiss.

"How about now?" he asked.

Her brow furrowed, unimpressed. "Yes!" she insisted.

He kissed her again, a little longer. Calypso let out an angry cry and tried to attack them, but Zoro kept him back with one katana.

"And now?" Zoro asked her again when he pulled away.

She scrunched her nose, a smile creeping across her lips. "L'il bit?" she attempted.

Zoro kissed her a third time, but this time he didn't bother with Calypso or anything else. He kissed her like he hadn't seen her in over two years. Like she'd been haunting his dreams and meditations since the moment they'd parted. Like she really meant the world to him for all the sacrifices she had made on his behalf. - his talisman against death. —the mother of his children. When he pulled away, she blinked at him in a happy daze, any vestiges of resentment long gone.

Her eyes lit up as she remembered something. She turned suddenly to point a sword at Calypso. "I TOLD YOU!" she crowed, and the 'other' man's lip twitched into an ugly snarl.

"Told him what?" Zoro asked with interest.

Helena smirked at him, "That you're the better kisser."

"Really?" Zoro grinned, "You said that?"

Calypso's knuckles were taught as he gripped the hilts of his blades in angry fists. "He kept secrets from you, mon! After all you said he was the standard…!"

"No he didn't," Helena replied. "He just gave me the full confession. Didn't you hear?"

"Anyway, _you_ can't talk," Zoro pointed out, "So is Calypso Blue your dancer name, or did your parents just hate you?"

"Zoro!" Helena chided, smacking him playfully in the chest, "Be nice."

"Face it, Shortie. You've lost," Zoro informed him.

Zoro could see carefully controlled anger behind the man's cerulean eyes. When Calypso ultimately made the decision to let that anger loose, it was apparently a calculated risk.

"I won't give 'Elena over to an abusive deadbeat like you," he announced. His swords darkened with haki. Zoro shoved Helena aside, focusing his spirit into his own blade.

"That's enough!" Helena cried, trying to put herself between them again.

Time slowed down as Zoro realized the danger she had unwittingly put herself in. She didn't know anything about haki. Her swords weren't strong enough to stop theirs now.

Though he had time to take in every detail — could see the wind of momentum stir her warrior's haircut, could see the silver strands in the blond and the way her laurel crown curled gracefully around the downward crease in forehead, could see the frustrated determination in her auburn eyes — it was all happening too quickly for anyone to check their momentum.

But then something happened he didn't expect. A wave of energy pulsed off of her, and he saw something in those fierce eyes that he remembered from years ago. He had called it her commanding mode then, but now he recognized it as something more.

Haki.

 _Conqueror's_ Haki.

It wasn't directed at her two attackers. Her gaze had shot upward to where a goose made its beleaguered way through the moonless sky. A tiny person clung to its back.—A tiny person with wild, mint green hair.

"KUINA!" Helena screamed.

Marines and Iliads alike toppled to the street as the panicked mother's energy pulsed through the harbor. It was enough to push Zoro and Calypso back, effectively stopping the attack. Zoro's gaze flew upward in time to see the goose he recognized as Cygnus turn a barrel roll, dropping Kuina toward the navy's flagship.

The captain that had been sent back to retrieve Vice Admiral Regent stumbled out of the door of one of the main cabins, followed by an enormous, bluish man with two heads joined at the chin. He caught the squealing girl with one claw through the back button loop of her buttercup-yellow nightgown.

He was as big as Hector – maybe bigger. Easily dangling Kuina high above his head by his finger, the giant rounded on the Queen and her consort:

"What's this I hear of surrender-er?!" he bellowed for all to hear. "Step wisely, Queen Helena-na! I hold the future of your kingdom in my hand-and!"


	18. Chapter 18 - The Legendary Zoan

Author's Note: This chapter is all over the place. Again, I have to lie in the bed I made when I introduced so many characters with different motivations who needed to somehow make their way into this battle. And it's just getting started. Buah ha ha!

* * *

Ch. 18 – The Legendary Zoan

"Captain!" Helmeppo called, waving his hands about. He ran up to Coby where he still stood gazing out at sea with his arms clasped behind his back. "Captain, we've just received word that the main attack on Ilium has failed!"

The sigh of relief caught in Coby's throat as the Vice-Captain continued:

"They're calling for reinforcements. We're to turn back immediately."

Coby swore beneath his breath. It had just occurred to him that there was the possibility of his being blamed for whatever had gone amiss with the battle. If that was the case, Bags had threatened to annihilate him and his crew.

In truth, he hadn't actually told anyone the secret he had discovered through his observation haki earlier that day: namely, that Queen Helena and Roronoa Zoro had a daughter. He had watched as Helena had taken lunch with the little Princess. Not that he'd seen the little girl's face, but he detected her pure, childlike aura and immediately realized who she was.

It had been a simple report:

"Roronoa Zoro is not here," he'd told Regent through a transponder snail. "And I know who the Queen keeps likely keeps in her bed. It's just her daughter."

 _Just her daughter_ , Coby thought to himself miserably. He'd said it so off-handedly, never even dreaming he had just jeopardized an innocent child. Regent would inevitably go after her, and then what? Would she really be married off? The child couldn't have been more than two years old!

"Captain Coby-San?" Helmeppo prodded. "Your orders?"

Coby faced him, brow furrowed as he contemplated their options. After a pregnant pause, he turned to the crew.

"Turn her around, men," he called. "And prepare yourselves! We sail to Ilium, and to war!"

* * *

Murmurs swept through the harbor as Helena's people and their foes stared at the girl no one knew existed. By the Queen's reaction, and by the child's wild, green hair, no one doubted who she belonged to.

"You have a kid, mon?" Calypso spluttered in shock. "A living kid?"

"That's right, Home-wrecker," Zoro growled, not taking his eye off of Regent.

Kuina wasn't the least bit shy, nor the least bit worried. Twisting as she hung by the finger of her captor, she looked the grisly monster of a man straight in the face:

"You a heart," she informed him, patting his outside, more human looking cheeks. "Me like hearts."

Regent's two mouths curved into a misshapen grin. "What a sweet child-ild," he simpered to her parents. Taking her about the middle in one enormous claw, he stroked her hair condescendingly with the other.

"Ow!" the girl complained when his nail snagged in one of her curls. She clamped her sharp little teeth onto the hand that held her, but couldn't bite through the blue scales.

"Hm, feisty too-oo," Regent went on, letting her dangle by her teeth. "Just like her mother-er. Perhaps I should give her a scar to match-atch."

Kuina lost her grip on him and dropped, and he caught her in his free hand. Helena and Zoro, though they stood on the docks below Regent and several meters away, crouched into attack ready stances.

"Oh, I wouldn't move if I were you-ou," Regent told them, resting three sharp fingers on the girl's back. "A scar is one thing-ing, but these nails can pierce more than skin-in."

Neither Helena nor Zoro lowered their swords, but they didn't move to attack either.

"Put her down!" Helena snarled. Zoro could feel the waves of Haki still pulsating off of her, but Regent was far too strong for her to influence, especially from this distance.

"You're in no position to make demands-ands," Regent replied, jabbing the nails into Kuina's back. She let out an angry wail of pain and started wriggling.

"Why you hurt me?" she cried.

Zoro still didn't quite know how to feel or act toward his daughter, but upon hearing her innocent confusion at the pain and betrayal, a rage different than any he'd experienced surged through him. He fought it down with all the training and self-control he possessed – he couldn't afford to lose focus now.

"Drop your weapons-ons," Regent ordered, ignoring the child's sobs.

Zoro glanced sidelong at Helena, who looked as if surrender were the last thing on her mind too. By her livid expression, it was plain that the only reason Regent hadn't been eviscerated already was that she knew she wasn't fast enough to cover the distance in time. Zoro might be, provided Regent wasn't faster. It wasn't worth the risk. They needed some sort of a distraction.

Fortunately it came in a way they didn't expect.

* * *

Several meters above Ilium's harbor, a patchy blimp hovered through the air like a dead, bloated fish floating on the sea. – it smelled like one too. Used napkins, greasy take out bags and other garbage made up the outside of the balloon, and it was powered by the ghost of meals past.

A basket of woven candy wrappers hung from the balloon, carrying Circe and her litter-litter daughter.

"I can't even!" Nausicaa said as her mother yodeled on. "The Vice-Admiral, like, eats people, and now he's using a _baby_ to threaten the Queen? That's pretty low, aye em aych oh."

Circe didn't answer. She had a goose to control. At her command, Cygnus looped back around. She intended to make him land submissively at Regent's feet. Knowing the Vice Admiral, he'd probably crush the king's skull then and there, and then Circe would finally be off the hook with this whole business.

"You know, when you said I should, like, come to work with you to get some direction in my life, I actually expected to be impressed," Nausicaa went on. "There have to be more humane ways to fight for justice. You and your boss treat people worse than animals. Seriously, dub tee eff?"

Circe's yodeling wavered.

"If I didn't know better, I might say Dad was right," Nausicaa finished. "You're nothing but a warmonger."

"That's enough, darlin'!" Circe snapped, rounding on her daughter. "You can try to get all high an' mighty, but the peace you and yer pappy enjoy is because a the stuff that people like me 'n Regent're willin' to do! Powerful countries that do as they please, countries like Ilium, are dangerous to all of us! I do what I hafta to protect yer future!"

"Well, I don't want to be a part of it!" Nausicaa snapped back. "You thought bringing me on this trip would make me want to be a Marine? I'm not following in your footsteps."

"Fine! Go home and open that stupid gluten free pizza shop ye keep jawin' about. In the meantime…!"

Nausicaa interrupted her with an involuntary squeak of surprise. She pointed back over her mother's shoulder, and the Captain whipped around. Her eyes widened.

"Tarnation!"

Her goose had broken free. And it was too late to take control of him now; he'd flown straight for Regent's head. Using both of his strong, flexible goose feet, the King grabbed Regent by both pairs of nostrils and hung on, honking for dear life.

* * *

Zoro and Helena didn't waste time thanking whatever lucky star had set Cygnus free at just the right moment. They had the few seconds they needed:

"Seven Sword Titan," the started together.

"Kronus…" Helena said.

"…Wrath!" Zoro finished.

They launched themselves forward with their special attacks, Oni Giri and Wrath of Zeus. Regent barely managed to bat Cygnus aside before Helena and Zoro's paths crossed over their mutual target. They cut an enormous X into the flagship in the process, mercilessly beheading the dragon man at their epicenter as Zoro caught Kuina safely in his crossed arms.

"Papa!" the little girl cried, hugging him about the neck in delight. Zoro clutched her in arms that trembled with relief as the residual anger and fear on her behalf shook itself out of him.

"Papa!" Helena cried at the same time, only hers was a cry of dismay. She bent down over the crumpled goose at her feet, not failing to notice the dried blood all over his face. "Oh, gods…!"

Looking at her through hooded eyes, Cygnus let out a feeble honk as Helena bent to lift him. He raised a shaking wing to caress his daughter's cheek reassuringly with his feathers.

"No…" she murmured. "Papa, you can't…!"

His eyes slowly closed, his wing went limp and dropped away from her cheek. His face fell to the side with his tongue lolling out of his beak.

"NO!" Helena screamed.

To her utter astonishment, Zoro started to laugh.

"Nice dramatic death there, Pops," he said with blatant indifference to Helena's distress. "One problem. Where's Hades?"

One of Cygnus' eyes shot open in bewilderment. When the logic that he wasn't actually dying sank in, the goose jumped out of Helena's arms, breathed a sigh of relief, and neatly dusted himself off with his wings.

Helena stared at him with her mouth dropped open, then turned that stare to her husband, who had Kuina climbing all over one of his arms while he held a katana out of her reach in the other. He was still chortling. Shaking, Helena snatched Kuina away from him, clutching the child to her chest in relief.

"Thank the gods," she murmured.

"There, there, mama," Kuina said, patting her mother's hair. "No cry. Monster all gone now."

Helena chuckled. "Well, I guess that's one way to introduce you to the kingdom," she said shakily. "There's no hiding you now. In a way it's kind of a relief."

"Want Papa," Kuina demanded, but Helena hugged her tighter. " _Want Papa!"_ she insisted again.

Zoro sighed, but held his arms out to take the child back. Helena gave Zoro a meaningful look, but then surrendered the child without complaint. After all, Kuina got to see her mother every day, but Papa's presence was a rare treat.

Just as Kuina's weight left Helena's arms, she found her hands flying back to her swords. Regent's headless body had just twitched.

"What the…?!" she said, narrowing her eyes.

The headless corpse squirmed to its feet, but though Helena was closer, it lashed out suddenly toward Zoro and the child. The master swordsman easily parried the surprise attack, but then the claw extended and grew around him like a short, heavy cage, pinning him and Kuina to the ground.

Regent's claw wasn't the only part of him growing. His arms, legs, torso, everything expanded, including two lengths of neck, still headless. Like a pair of blue, reptilian giraffes, those necks towered over them as the scales that had once only covered Regent in patches spread to become his entire, glittering hide. In a matter of seconds Regent went from being a headless corpse to an enormous, headless…

"Dragon!" One of Helena's soldiers screamed.

"Rhea, Mother of Zeus," Helena cursed, her eyes wide.

The X she and Zoro had carved into the ship hadn't been through and through, and so wouldn't have sunk it, but Regent's weight made it creak and groan. Right before it snapped all together, Regent's claw closed around Zoro and Kuina, and the headless dragon jumped for the dock.

As he moved, two bulbous faces budded from the ends of the necks. When the two full heads finally bloomed in full – complete with rows upon rows of nasty, sharp teeth – they were both still grotesquely disfigured. One eye drooped, one nostril sagged, one head was missing a horn or half an upper lip.

Helena had jumped to the safety of the docks as the ship started to go down, her father fluttering beside her. She stared at Regent, a look of understanding spreading across her face.

"A Hydra," she breathed. " _That's_ how you survived when Father smote you with the Mask of Zeus."

"Yessss," one head hissed at her, his tongue now forked like a serpent's.

"When your father attacked me, he threw me into the sssea as I used my power to grow back my headssss," the other continued.

"Unfortunately, the combination of sssea water and god lightning kept my headsss from fully forming," the first spat.

"Even now I am permanently ssscarred, no matter how many times I sssplit."

"And when I regain human form, I'm ssstuck as you sssaw."

"I would say I feel sorry for you, but…" Helena indicated her back with her rapier.

She and the goose at her side crossed gazes as she spoke. It felt strange to see her father in the eyes of a bird, but there was no question that the angry determination she saw there belonged to him.

She turned back to Regent: "Now, release my family if you would, please."

"Again you think you're in a possssition to make demandsss-andsss," both heads hissed together. They grinned as Regent tossed Zoro and Kuina into the air. He caught them both in one of his maws, swallowing them in one gulp.

Helena pushed down her own panic. "You really think that was a good idea?" she asked, raising a brow at him with composure. "Sheesh, you'd think a monster like you would know to chew your food."

Both heads narrowed their lopsided eyes at her. A moment later, as Helena expected, Zoro sliced his way free. Only instead of a clean, beheading, horizontal cut, he cut vertically along the throat. The neck and head fell limply to the ground as he jumped free, Kuina in tow.

"Yucky!" Kuina exclaimed at the stinky guts covering her.

"You said it, kid," Zoro replied, grimacing.

Helena chuckled. "That was a unique way of escaping."

"You said this guy's a Hydra, right?" Zoro replied, swiping his sword through the air to get rid of some of the gunk. "Best not to go chopping off heads, then."

Helena smirked at him and nodded. "Aw, I knew I married you for more than your good looks," she teased. "Now can you take Kuina back to the palace, please? I've got this under control…"

"And let you have all the fun?" Zoro replied, eyebrow raised. "Whoa!"

Zoro and Helena both jumped as Regent's active head viciously attacked the dead one. He gripped the limp neck in his powerful jaws, and then _Snap!_ He bit it clean off. The headless neck quickly split into two more heads.

"Isn't that cheating?" Helena pointed out.

The three disfigured dragon heads loomed over her, grinning.

"All'sss fair…"

"…in love…"

"…and war," each head hissed in turn.

"And I do ssso _love-ove-ove war-ar-ar!"_ they echoed. Suddenly the middle, most disfigured head opened its scaly maw and made a strange gurgling sound.

"Hydras can spit fire…" Helena murmured, remembering. Then she swore as she realized what that meant. "HYDRAS CAN SPIT FIRE!"

Just as she shouted it, the gurgling throat started to glow an eerie blue. A turquoise fireball shot from its mouth, straight at her. Zoro stepped in front of her, Kuina hanging down his back and out of the way.

"Hang on, kid! _Dragon Twister_!"

The cyclone of air bounced the fireball back, making it explode and shower the tangled up Navy ships with sparks.

Kuina started bouncing on Zoro's back with excitement now. "Yay, Fireworks! Do again! Do again!"

"Well, that complicates things," Helena said. Where the sparks met wood, red flames started to shoot up and spread. It was only a matter of time before the whole dock, and any trapped boats in it, started burning up. "I guess they're all prisoners now."

The beleaguered marines realized this too. Their frightened and angry shouts rang through the air, but fell on deaf ears.

"Yeeessss…."

"…burn the ssshipsss!..."

"…no retreat!"

The middle head started shooting fireballs at his own ships in earnest as though delighted with the idea. He didn't seem to care about the personnel still on board either.

"That's pretty messed up, mon," Calypso observed, casually walking up beside them.

Zoro shot him a glare. "What are you still doing here?"

Calypso ignored him, turning instead to Helena. "He's motivating his men to fight to the death, now."

Helena nodded. "But why? They can't win this! They're out-numbered, Regent no longer has any leverage on us, and they've lost the element of surprise! – not to mention, his men have already dropped their weapons. They're in no position to fight!"

"He may still cause problems though, mon," Calypso pointed out, jerking his head toward the Vice-Admiral. "Want my help?" He indicated himself, Helena, and Zoro with one of his machete, "That makes one for each head."

Zoro looked surprised to be included in the count, but that didn't do much to mollify him. "Hey! Back off! I already got a sword for each head; I can take him alone."

"I was just being polite!" Calypso retorted. "I don't need help from a dead-beat dad like you."

"You sure about that, Tiny? Seems to me your arms aren't long enough to reach him."

"I've had enough of this measuring contest, you two!" Helena snapped. "–I don't need EITHER of your help. Now Zoro, if you would, please take our daughter back to the palace before she gets hurt!"

"And leave you alone with _him_? Fat chance," Zoro scoffed.

"Thanks for the vote of trust!" Helena exclaimed.

While the fire-breathing head focused on its diabolical, ship-burning task, one of Regent's other heads snaked between them, jaw's agape. Still glaring at the two men, Helena stabbed Regent in the snout with her sea prism dagger. Regent shivered and fell with a deafening crash, smashing the dock on which he stood and sinking into the sea.

"And that, gentlemen," Helena pronounced proudly, "Is how the Princess slayed the dragon."

At least, that's how she'd imagined it would happen. Only when she stabbed him, her blade ricocheted off of his scales without piercing them. She thought she noticed something out of the corner of her eye before Calypso tackled her, saving her from being snapped up in the beast's jaws.

"His scales turned black," she said in surprise. "What in Hades…?"

"Are you all right, mon?" Calypso asked, straightening off of her. His arms lingered around her probably a little longer than necessary.

Zoro was already there, and he didn't look happy. "Back. Off," he said.

"What, and just let her get eaten?" Calypso snapped. "You were too busy playing baby sitter to save her!"

Zoro shifted Kuina to his side and snapped something back at him, but Helena was already up and dashing toward General Hector.

"Regiment C, fall in!" she shouted. "Everyone else, fall back!"

The General loudly repeated her order to make sure it was heard. He gave her a bemused look as, in the midst of her alarm, she still managed a moment to shoot her husband the stank eye.

"I don't get it," Helena muttered to Hector. "Zoro knows he won that bizarre sword…dance…fight…tango…thing. He knows he has me. Why is he acting like an imbecile?"

Hector chuckled uncomfortably, exchanging a glance with Cygnus, who honked and shrugged.

"I'm serious! He was never the jealous type before we got married!"

"Maybe that's because you weren't rightly his before then," Hector reminded her. "Anyway, if you ask me, you looked like you were kinda playing both of them in that little dance off just now."

"I was not!"

"Trust is something that takes time to regain, Your Majesty. Maybe he could use some reassurance, considering there's another man in the picture."

"But there is no other man! Calypso Blue was never in the running!"

"More's the pity," Hector muttered.

"What did you say…?!" Helena snapped.

"Come to think of it, you probably shouldn't have interrupted their fight in the first place. This is something they're going to need to settle between themselves as men."

"Zeus almighty, this is NOT the TIME!" Helena spluttered in a rage. "And men say _women_ are confusing. Gods have mercy!"

The regiment had fallen in by this point. Zoro and Calypso were both verbally flaying (close to _actually_ flaying) each other again as well, but Helena ignored them. She approached the smirking, three-headed dragon calmly.

"Vice Admiral Regent," she called. He made a particularly frightening picture, hellishly backlit by the burning navy ships. "There's something you forgot, and it's going to cost you."

"Oh…?"

"…and what…?"

"….would that be?"

Helena brandished her heavy dagger. "Our chief export."

She used her blade to indicate the large men standing in ranks behind her. They wore sea prism armor, beaten thin to counteract the weight. Each carried a military issue, sea prism dagger like hers, and a sea prism tipped spear.

At a word from her, her men lay down their spears with uniform precision, knelt into levels, and pulled out the muskets they had strapped to their backs.

"You want our sea stone so much?" Helena asked, flipping the dagger around her hand. "You can have it! Light him up, boys!"

At Helena's command, the regiment opened fire. Soon they lost sight of Regent in a cloud of smoke and a spray of musket fire.

Helena knew the weapons were dated. They may not have been as efficient as the rifles the navy had, but musket balls were easier to craft out of the finicky sea prism stone. Sure, they weren't exactly armor piercing, but it usually didn't take much to take a devil down, even one as big as Regent.

"Reload!" one of the lieutenants within the unit called.

Regent's three-headed shadow still loomed behind the smoke. Helena's eyes widened. Something was definitely off.

"Fire!" she shouted again.

More smoke and fire filled the night air. After a third and fourth round of musket fire, Regent's shadow still hadn't moved. His hissing laughter filled the air, echoing with three times the sinister intensity. Helena's nerves crawled.

"Damnation! I had a feeling," she swore to Hector. "Our sea prism isn't getting through to him. Ready the shatter cannons. Tell them to fire at will."

* * *

Zoro and Calypso had been obliged to shut up as the regiments' muskets rang through the night. When the noise cleared, and before they could go back to their insults, a sniffling sound caught Zoro's attention.

"You ok, kid?" he asked, glancing down at Kuina, who he still had balanced on his side, opposite his sword sheaths. She had her hands clasped over her ears.

"Too loud," she whimpered.

"This really is no place for a child, mon," Calypso said.

"Like I need you to point that out!" Zoro snapped, then turned his attention back to Kuina. "Come on, kid. I'll take you home."

Kuina nodded, and Zoro lifted her up onto his shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his forehead and clung to him, still sniffling.

"I'll be back," Zoro warned Calypso. He looked far from threatening with such an adorable turban on his head, though this didn't stop him from continuing: "Quit bugging my wife."

"Oh, I don't think she's particularly bothered by me," Calypso replied with a smarmy grin.

Zoro's lip twitched, but he decided not to retaliate further for Kuina's sake. He passed Helena on his way out. He knew she was busy at the moment, so he just kind of gave her a nod when they locked eyes, but she grabbed him by the front of his shirt as he made to dash by.

"Hey!" she snapped, glaring him in the eye. But then she yanked him closer and stole a quick, hard kiss. "I'm yours, ok."

He chuckled. "I know that. Just gotta make sure _he_ does." He shot a triumphant look in Calypso's direction, and Helena rolled her eyes.

She quickly ruffled Kuina's hair. "Be good for Papa…"

Kuina still looked miserable, but she nodded. "Don't worry, Kid," Zoro reassured her. "Your mom will have the monster taken care of in no time."

His confidence in her made Helena grin. With that, he turned to go.

"Zoro, wait!" Helena called after him when he'd dashed off several paces. He turned to see her unamused expression. "The palace would be that way," she said, pointing with her thumb.

"Oh, right," he replied nonchalantly, changing his course.

* * *

Helena watched him run in the wrong direction again, then sighed. "Papa, maybe you should go show him the way," she said to the goose still tailing her.

Cygnus honked and nodded, then took wing. He half-tackled Zoro, a brief, honking argument ensued, and then Zoro seemed to understand what was going on and followed the goose as he flew away.

Only then did it occur to Helena that she had made a mistake. "Drat! Papa, wait! You're no better off than he is—!"

Three loud booms cut her off, and she didn't have time to worry about anything else. Her men had just fired the shatter cannons.

Helena turned a smile of satisfaction at her foe. He was doomed for certain now.

The shatter cannons, as they had been nicknamed, were really more like mortars. Helena had designed their ammunition herself after her fight with Troy du Noir. They had a pointed, torpedo-shaped exterior of brittle sea prism porcelain, and were packed with explosives and sea prism stone shrapnel. Any Devil Fruit user hit with one, if he wasn't killed on impact, would have a hard time recovering his strength with sea stone shrapnel embedded in his flesh.

To her dismay, Regent laughed at her again behind the curtain of smoke.

"Oh, Queen Helena…"

"…you really are…"

"…ssso naïve," the voices echoed.

"The world…

"…is ssso big…"

"…and Ilium, ssso sssmall."

"It will be-e-e my pleasure-ure-ure to crush it-t-t."

Helena narrowed her eyes as the smoke cleared, revealing the amusement on Regent's leering faces. Wait a second. Hadn't he been a blue hydra? When had his scales turned black?

"Have you noticed that he hasn't really been attacking us?" Hector observed to her in a low voice. "Not all out, anyway."

"Because he's smart enough not to try chomping on someone in sea prism armor?" Helena attempted hopefully.

"No," Hector replied. He pointed with his spear as the curtain of smoke finally blew away completely. There were lights out on the water. Lots of lights. Boats. No, ships!

"He was stalling until reinforcements arrived," Helena snarled. Her brow furrowed as she shed her humanity for the sake of the coming battle. She needed to be the merciless queen now; the one who executed pirates just for entering her harbor:

"Execute the prisoners!" she barked to her men, who still had the first marines on their knees and weaponless. "Ilium is at war. We can't risk…!"

A strange lowing sound cut her off. Was that some sort of cow? It seemed to be coming from the air.

" _Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"_

Helena's men were usually quick to carry out her orders, but at that sound they froze. They started to glow with an unearthly golden light. Their armor, weapons, and clothes melded into them as they grew, and suddenly Helena found herself surrounded by a herd of slightly dazed cattle.

"Circe," Hector spat.

Helena swore.

A chilling howl came next from above, setting Helena's teeth on edge.

" _A-woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"_

"Is it just me or did that sound like…?" Helena started. The marine prisoners all had wicked grins plastered on their faces as they too started to glow. Those grins remained, though they lengthened and sharpened as their faces became canine.

"Wolves," she finished, drawing more of her weapons now.

"Dire wolves," Hector observed. "She must have prepped them ahead of time. She hasn't left our men entirely defenseless though."

Helena caught sight of what he meant as the bulls charged at the wolves with ready horns. Regent's men had obviously trained as wolves before though, because they moved with frightening speed and precision, leaving bovine carnage in their wake. That carnage multiplied tenfold when Circe started to yodel (if one could really call it yodeling), hypnotizing Helena's men…er…livestock into a stand still.

And it didn't stop there. With the sea prism weapons and armor now safely gone, Regent bit into Helena's special sea stone regiment with a will. Helena leapt to their aid, all of her weapons drawn. She wasn't surprised to see Calypso follow suit. Despite all the drama, she was glad to have someone fighting by her side.

"General, you know what to do," Helena called to Hector, who had already started to put down roots. "Sink those ships before they reach us!"

"Your…"

"…not going anywhere…"

"…tree man!" The hydra called.

Hector moved swiftly across the wooden dock like a wave on the ocean surface. He grew as he meshed with the roots and branches now sprouting around him, but the hydra quickly shot fire his direction.

Hector made to recalibrate, detaching himself from the wood that had already started to burn. Meanwhile Regent ignored cows, Calypso, and Queen, and jumped, lifting his enormous girth into the air. He landed squarely on top of Hector, presumably flattening the man.

" _King Ghidorah!"_

Helena heard Hector announce the attack before he grew into it. The roots in the creaking dock beneath Regent swirled and twisted like snakes, wrapping around the wooden General's tree-like arms and legs.

The General grew strong and tall as a redwood, pushing Regent away as Hector created three dragon-heads of his own out of wood and bark. They're long necks loomed over Regent, twice as tall, and a pair of wings, woven with leaves, flared out at his sides, making him appear all the larger and more threatening as he fearlessly stared Regent down.

The two ferocious behemoths locked heads in combat in a flurry of leaves and scales. Despite his size and strength, Hector was knew he was at a disadvantage. He quickly gripped the middle, fire-breathing head in the sylvan jaws of one of his own, pointing it straight up to keep the fire from hitting him directly.

"No, Hector!" Helena called angrily. "We need you…!"

"…to sink the ships?" Calypso finished for her. "Don't worry, I've got you covered mon. It's only too bad your loser of a husband isn't here to see it."

"You know insulting him doesn't impress me, right?" Helena said flatly, but he didn't hear her. He'd already jumped into the sky.

" _Sky walk_!"

Helena stared. He hadn't kicked off of anything but air, but he'd already passed up the two battling monsters in height. His blades darkened, just like Regent's scales. Calypso crossed the machete over himself as he focused his energy.

" _Sinatra Slash!"_ he cried, lashing out with both swords as one

Calypso's combined slash hit the water at a Biblical scale, splitting the ocean down to its bed. The slash hit some ships, slicing them in half, but the real danger came from the gaping waters, which seemed extend all the way to the horizon, and sucked down anything near its edges. Soon it had swallowed an entire third of the fleet. The battle couldn't help but pause as shocked cows and wolves alike turned to stare.

Calypso flipped once as he descended, landing in a crouch beside Helena. He smiled at her with his pretty white teeth as she stared at his handiwork, mouth agape.

"Are you in love with me now, mon?" he chuckled, throwing her a wink.

* * *

...

...

...  
A/N: Surprise! It's the Author again! - so I have a silly little contest for you. In a future chapter, I need to have some bad (as in corny, cheesey, awful) poetry about Zoro, written by Helena. This is never-meant-to-see-the-light-of-day much less Zoro's eyes type poetry. I mean, seriously, the first title that came to mind was "An Ode to Zoro's Abs" - THAT type of ridiculousness. And this is where you come in! Submit your poetry via review or PM. I will pick one to feature later in the story, and give full credit of course (unless you wish to remain anonymous, buah ha!)


	19. Chapter 19 - Ring a Ding Ding

A/N: Hi guys! I'm sorry for that unannounced hiatus. August was an unexpectedly busy month. The writer's block was real with this one. I know where all the characters need to end up, and I have crucial scenes in mind, but this was just difficult. I predict as much difficulty with the next few. Sorry in advance!

Reviews and comments are always appreciated: they keep my inspiration/motivation up. Thanks to all who have continued to review in the past!

N'Joy

* * *

Ch. 19 – Ring a Ding Ding

Calypso would have been happy to discover that Zoro had in fact seen his handiwork. The pirate's zig-zagging, back-tracking, completely disoriented trajectory had brought him to a promontory overlooking the harbor. With Kuina still riding his shoulders and Cygnus honking beside him in alarm, Zoro stared as the ocean parted, mercilessly swallowing a slew of the navy's backup fleet.

Zoro couldn't see Calypso from that distance, but he recognized the work of a master swordsmen. He could easily deduce who had done it.

"That guy's dangerous," he admitted quietly to himself.

"Honk?" Cygnus asked. But before Zoro could answer, a growling in the bushes behind them snagged their attention. With a hand on his swords, Zoro whirled around to face what turned out to be a pack of wolves.

"Puppies!" Kuina exclaimed, bouncing on his shoulders in delight.

"Don't get too attached, kid," Zoro warned her in good humor.

"Y'always were a mite overconfident, weren't ya, Cyclops?" Zoro glanced sidelong at the trash blimp that had just come into view, floating over the side of the promontory.

"You again," Zoro huffed at Circe as she jumped over the side the blimp to land a few meters from him on top of the cliff. He quickly ripped the mask up off of his face, stuffing it in his belt. It wasn't a piece of litter like his last mask, but one couldn't be too careful.

The moment he did it, the litter litter girl still riding in the blimp suddenly turned pink. "Oh em gee, Mom. He's actually good looking under there. Like, why do you keep covering your face, handsome? A face like yours with a bod like that is a gift to the world."

"Uh…" Zoro and Circe both blinked at the besotted teen, but quickly returned to the matter at hand. Drawing two blades, Zoro kept one sword between him and the wolf pack, and another trained on the Navy Captain. "You got the drop on me once; you won't be so lucky this time, lady."

"This time I got a little more than sheep defendin' me. I realize now who I'm dealin' with, pard. I ain't stupid," Circe said, waving a hand at the wolves, who growled on cue. "Yeh done made off with m'goose _and_ the little Princess. Regent's gonna want 'em both back, I reckon. You hand 'em over, I can guarantee that the girl at least reaches him in one piece."

"Yeah, no," Zoro replied, widening his stance in preparation to attack. "I'm not letting you near my daughter."

Cygnus honked indignantly as if to say, " _What about me?!_ " but Circe and Zoro both ignored him.

"Suit yerself," Circe went on with a dramatic sigh. "I don't even hafta use my yodeling on these fellas. Thems well trained. Get 'em, boys!"

She hadn't been bluffing; the wolves moved with military precision into a pincer formation. Within seconds they were prepared to tear at him from all sides. Zoro didn't give them the chance, though.

He didn't even bother with a special attack. The humandrills were stronger and faster than these guys by a long shot. With a few well-placed slashes he took all of them down while Kuina applauded giddily:

"Yay, Papa!"

When he had finished, Zoro turned an incredulous gaze upward toward his daughter. "Should I be worried that you're enjoying this so much, kid?"

Kuina giggled.

"Do again! Do again!"

"Hmph. I may have underestimated you a bit, pard," Circe admitted, reaching toward him as though to grab him. Zoro sidestepped her easily, and she nearly stumbled off of the edge of the cliff face.

"Try it again and you'll lose a hand," Zoro warned.

"I shoulda picked a differ'nt animal fer you," Circe spat. "I don't have a clue what the gol'blasted fox says."

"Ring-a-ding-ding," the litter litter girl put in suddenly from her perch in the hovering trash blimp.

"What was that Nausicaa, darlin'?" Circe asked, turning to her daughter.

"The fox says, Ring-a-ding-ding," Nausicaa said again, "Everyone knows that. Duh."

"Ring-a-ding-ding?" Circe repeated incredulously, then gave a start. Zoro did too. His body had started to glow yellow gold.

"No way…" he and the Navy Captain uttered together, only his words turned to yips (that sounded nothing like 'ring-a-ding-ding') as he started to shrink. His swords and clothes seemed to mold into his hands and body, leaving him feeling horrible exposed despite the green fur covering him from snout to paw. Zoro stumbled beneath the weight of the toddler still riding his shoulders.

He'd turned back into a gol'blasted fox.

* * *

Calypso basked in Helena's awestruck attention, grinning at her cheekily. When she finally came to herself, the words erupted out of her without a filter:

"You could do THAT all this time?! And you had trouble with twelve freakin' axes?!"

"Well, I can't do that with my _mouth,_ mon," Calypso pointed out.

Helena quickly composed herself. "That's just one more reason Zoro's the Hurricane, not you," she said, tossing her head. "So, do you think you could do it again? There are still a lot of ships out there."

Calypso grew sullen at mention of Zoro's nickname. Oh, he knew he had already lost the battle for her heart. But then again, she _had_ just mentioned the twelve axes with some incredulity and disappointment. Perhaps he'd only lost the battle, not the war.

"I _could_ ," he grinned suddenly, mischievously, "For a _ki…"_

Helena pre-empted him before he could finish the word. Apparently she knew what he was up to:

"Thank you! Glad to know I can count on you. Now I'll just go help Hector out, shall I?" She turned on her heel and marched away, arms pumping as she walked with purpose.

Calypso watched her go, then turned his focus out toward the "enemy" ships. As he wound up for a second attack, his grin didn't falter. He may not have gotten the kiss he was after, but he'd managed to fluster her majesty. That meant she could still be reached.

* * *

"Brace yourselves, men! Here comes another one!" Vice-Captain Helmeppo cried.

Coby didn't move from where he balanced with precarious ease atop the prow of his ship. He held a looking glass to his eye, searching Ilium's harbor for the origin of the enormous slash attack currently flying their way. His search proved fruitless. "Is Zoro doing that?" he murmured, more to himself than anyone. "Just how strong has he become?"

He stowed the glass with seconds to spare. Leaping into the air, he focused all of his spiritual energy into the end of one blackening fist. He met the enormous, glowing slash head on, punching it toward what he presumed would be an uninhabited promontory beside the harbor.

Though Coby had jumped out to meet the slash as far as he could, it knocked him crashing back onto his own deck, shattering some of the planks and leaving him momentarily dazed. The ship rocked violently, still in danger of careening into the crooked trench that the slash had dug into the ocean despite its new trajectory.

When the water settled, cheers erupted from the safely defended ships on all sides. A few of Coby's men helped him to his feet, slapping him on the back and crowing his praises. He smiled at them, but gripped the now bloodied fist by his side and quickly turned his keen gaze back toward the shore. After all, there was still quite the stretch of ocean between them and the harbor. They were a long way from safety.

* * *

The powerful slash flew past the promontory, nicking the edge of the cliff. It easily cut off the part on which Zoro, Kuina, Cygnus and Circe stood, sending it crashing toward the sea.

Zoro had barely managed to wiggle out from under Kuina. Thinking fast, he nipped her by the back of her nightgown and jumped to safety. Circe was right behind them, and she quickly nabbed the fox by the scruff of the neck, tearing the back of Kuina's yellow nightgown as she ripped Zoro away from his daughter.

For a moment everyone remained frozen as they listened to the falling rocks crash into the ocean below.

"Hoo-wee!" Circe whistled, eyeing the splash that the broken cliff left behind. "It ain't safe here fer a little person, is it Cyclops? 'Course, now yer a little person too." She looked him condescendingly in the eye, before turning to dangle him out over the cliff's edge.

"PAPA!" Kuina cried. She tried to run to him. King Cygnus, who had taken wing during the whole ordeal, quickly settled himself between his granddaughter and the cliff, raising his wings to shield her from falling.

"Smart kid," Circe observed. "Y'recognize it's still yer pappy." She turned her attention back to Zoro. "Sorry t'hafta do this to yeh, pard. But I can't have yeh causin' more problems, see."

"Don't even think about dropping him, Mom," Nausicaa piped up suddenly. She had landed her strange craft and stepped clear of it. Before Cygnus could turn around and face her, Nausicaa had scooped Kuina up in her arms and taken her a step further from the cliff's edge.

"You can't go murdering the kid's Dad, like, right in front of her," she went on. "That'll scar her for life."

"It's just a _FOX_ , darlin'," Circe reminded her.

"No. It's not," Nausicaa replied indignantly. "And as you already said, the kid can see it too. Quit being such a bully."

With lip twitching, Circe looked her daughter straight in the eye…

…and let the fox go.

* * *

Calypso narrowed his eyes out at the ships as they drew closer to the harbor. Someone out there had deflected his attack. – a goody-two shoes, by the look of things. Why else would they have sent the attack away from the city?

He glanced sidelong at Helena, noting that she had her hands full defending her livestock from the wolves. Her General remained occupied as well, fighting literally neck and neck with Regent. That meant no one would stop Calypso from trying again.

Sure it was possible that whoever had redirected the slash into the cliff was sending a warning; next time civilians could get hurt. But whoever had deflected him was strong. He wanted to see who was stronger.

" _Sky Walk_!"

He kicked into the air, muscular arms tense as he prepared both machetes. When he was at the right altitude, he lashed out with the two blades, holding them apart instead of together. It lessened his power considerably, but that meant he could send two attacks in opposite directions.

The move he'd christened, " _Sinatra Jr."_ He grinned as he watched it slice through the ocean at less cataclysmic, though still deadly proportions. "Block these if you can, mon!"

* * *

Nausicaa shrieked as Zoro fell. She quickly covered Kuina's eyes with her hands, or tried to. The little girl screamed for her father. She pounded and kicked and bit at the teen holding her back, driving Nausicaa to use both arms to restrain her.

When the moment had passed, Nausicaa glared at her mother through the tears forming in her eyes.

"It had to be done," Circe said unfeelingly.

Despite Kuina's formidable struggles, Nausicaa tightened her arms around her. Turning on her heel, she swiftly boarded her litter vessel.

"Wait! Where d'yeh think yer goin'?

"I'm taking her someplace safe," Nausicaa snapped as the balloon took off. "I'm so over watching you act like a monster."

"Now wait just a minute!" Circe cried, running toward her with her arms extended, ready to grab the side of the candy-wrapper basket.

The blimp floated out of reach in the nick of time, and Circe teetered dangerously on the edge of the cliff. Nausicaa held her breath as her mother struggled to regain her balance. Thankfully she had the presence of mind to throw herself backward, even though it meant landing hard on her rump. A moment later she was back on her feet again anyway, shouting curses and what-have-you in her daughter's direction.

Nausicaa tuned her out. Sinking down inside the basket, she clutched the whimpering child to her and burst into tears. "I just rebelled against the Navy," she sobbed. "I'm, like, a criminal now. And I couldn't even save your Dad, Princess! Dub tee eff am I doing?"

* * *

Coby's eyes widened as a pair of slashes came flying at the navy. The swordsman they were up against hadn't cut the ocean down to its bed this time, but even skimming the ocean's surface, the slashes were sure to through-and-through any ships they connected with.

One slash was headed straight for him and his crew. He could take care of it easily enough; hopefully someone on the other side of the fleet would know what to do with the second. Though his fist still throbbed, he didn't hesitate to again jump out and meet the attack head on. This time his aim was better; he redirected it away from the island completely.

He flipped back to land in a three-point crouch on the deck of the ship, his fist dripping red on the polished deck. Even though the attack had been less powerful, it had still left its mark. Coby noted grimly that he had a ways to go with his training, if an attack like this could break his haki.

"Captain Coby-San," Helmeppo asked. "Why aren't you attacking the city directly? Isn't that what we're here to do?"

Coby straightened to his feet. "There are non-combatants and…children out there, Vice-Captain."

"A bleeding heart, as always," Helmeppo said, shrugging. "This is a war, isn't it?"

He and Coby both fell silent when they saw that the second slash, which had mystically disappeared a moment before, appeared to rebound from one of their own ships. It crashed into the port, cutting through the outer harbor town and stopping short at Ilium's outer walls.

"Guess some of our people don't feel the same as you do," Helmeppo observed as the dust started to settle.

"Guess they don't…" Coby murmured.

More slashes suddenly radiated from the same ship, one after the other. The attacks looked exactly like the ones that had come at them from the enemy; skimming the surface of the ocean, they slammed mercilessly into Mycenae, leaving destruction in their wake.

"Do we have a swordsman over there doing that?" Helmeppo asked.

Coby turned his telescope toward the source of the attacks. It was a moment before he answered.

"It's not a Navy Swordsman," he told Helmeppo, voice tense. "It's a Navy Devil. Captain Yoma Masophat."

* * *

Nausicaa gazed over the side of her candy-wrapper basket at the destruction in the city below. "At least I can keep you from down there," she muttered to the wailing toddler in her arms.

The sound of wingbeats startled her gaze upward. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of the Goose King hovering just outside her basket, gripping the ears of a mossy green fox between his webbed toes.

Nausicaa hadn't quite floated out of earshot of the cliffside. She could hear her mother's curses grow louder and more intense when she caught sight of them too. The teen couldn't care less though. She jumped to her feet in excitement as the goose suddenly swan-dived into the candy-wrapper basket, making it rock and sway.

"ZOMG! You're alive!" she shrieked, snatching the fox and shoving it toward the still sniffling princess. "Look, Princess! Your Dad's alive!"

Kuina couldn't have been more overjoyed. She smothered the beleaguered fox in an embrace better suited to a stuffed bear. He let out a little squeak of protest, but otherwise didn't have the air to complain.

" _Yodle-ay-ski-dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_!"

"Hey, Princess! Cover his ears like this, see?" Nausicaa said, clapping her hands over where she assumed the goose's ears were.

The little girl giggled, but did as she was told, holding down Zoro's velvety ears. "No yucky singing for Papa," she told Nausicaa, then made a face. "But who hold Kuina's ears?"

Nausicaa laughed. "El oh el! Sorry, Princess. I guess we just have to suffer through it.!" She chanced a glance down at the goose in her lap. He wore a look of relief. "Hey, don't thank me yet," she informed him, though he probably couldn't hear her. "It's only a matter of time before Mom, like, finds someone to turn into a bald eagle or something, and tears us out of the sky." She eyed the trash balloon and wrinkled her nose in anticipation. "Alright, this is going to smell grotty, but I think we could use a little wind power, so… _"_

She closed her eyes and focused on the liter, bending it to her will. A few seconds later, a burst of smelly, yellow air flatulated its way from the trash balloon. Though using it sacrificed some of their altitude, the force of it blew them further from Circe. Soon they were completely out of range of her voice. It was a good thing too. The smell drove Kuina to release Zoro's ears so she could plug her nose.

"Stinky!"

"I know, right?" Nausicaa replied. Cygnus wilted from the smell, and she released his ears so he could collapse into a miserable heap beside a no less miserable Zoro. "On the upside, I'll have you guys back to the palace in no time. That is where you want to go, right?"

A crash below drew her gaze down toward the city. More slashes had just radiated from one of the navy ships. They'd changed their aim higher now. Ilium was set on a gentle, upward slope, which meant that the slash missed the outer wall this time, and nearly hit the palace. It had to be powerful to reach that far.

"Or maybe not," Nausicaa said, cringing. Zoro popped up next to her, his adorable green paws hanging over the side of the basket as he tried to get a better view. "Like, what do we do now…?" she started to ask him.

"Holo holo _hic_ holo!"

Nausicaa's eyes widened when she caught sight of Perona, who floated between them and their view of the palace. She had her hands on her hips, and might have looked defiant if she weren't cross-eyed.

"Not so fast, you _hic_ stinky Indie wannabe!" she proclaimed, holding out a hand as though to stop them, though it was angled about a foot in the wrong direction.

"Well, if it isn't the #LameGoth," Nausicaa said, wrinkling her nose from more than the stench of her blimp now. "What's wrong with you, anyway? Your bo peep outfit's on fleek, but you look totally wasted! You drunk, bro?"

Perona hiccupped again, glaring as best she could through her crossed eyes. "I'm _hic_ fine," she slurred. "But you're not gonna be when I'm _hic_ through with you. I see your Mom changed Zoro and King Goosey into animals again."

"Yeah, and I'm trying to save…!"

"A likely story! Holo Holo Holo _hic!"_ Perona cut her off. "Well, good thing I _hic_ know how to take care of you!" A tubby little ghost formed in her hand, and she launched it at the blimp.

"Oh em gee, WAIT!" Nausicaa cried. "If you blow me up you'll blow them up too!"

Her pleas fell on deaf ears. Perona snapped her fingers, igniting the ghost and the blimp. Leaving the animals to fend for themselves, Nausicaa grabbed Kuina and jumped from the basket just in time to avoid the explosion.

"You got soot on my shirt!" Nausicaa called angrily to Perona.

"Weeeeeeee!" Kuina cried in delight.

"You're a weird kid," Nausicaa observed.

* * *

"Tee tee eff en!" Perona called to them as they fell. "You're welcome, Zoro!" In her drunken stupor, it made perfect sense to her that destroying Nausicaa meant destroying a roadblock for the fox. But then, she also wasn't entirely convinced that she wasn't having a weird lucid dream.

"Strange," she observed aloud to one of her sheep ghosts, which waved to and fro unsteadily in the air just like its mistress. "I thought I saw a mini, girl version of Zoro in there."

The ghost giggled and hiccupped. Perona giggled and hiccupped back.

"You're right. Holo _hic!_ Zoro having a kid would be too weird," she said. "H'ooooh-kay, let's get going. I've got an overalled freakshow to catch."

She summoned a plethora of her ghosts, laughing maniacally. "Holo holo holo _hic!_ Holo holo holo _hic!_ " The puffy ghosts surrounded her like little clouds, echoing her drunken giggles louder and louder the more she called to her aid. "Holo holo holo _hic!_ Holo holo holo _hic!_ "

Soon she had so many, anyone looking below wouldn't have been able to see her through the storm of sheep. "Go get 'er!" she cried, directing the flock out in all directions. The enormous cloud around her exploded in an energetic flurry, each ghost moving with purpose to search for its mistress' enemy.

But then they all suddenly stopped short. In her addled state, Perona had exhausted her power by summoning too many. She keeled over as most of the ghosts disappeared. Her astral form landed on a convenient patch of gathered ghost sheep midair, where she lay quite comfortably, mirroring her sleeping body back at the palace.

Circe would have to wait until she caught a few more Z's.

* * *

.

.

.

A/N: *voice of Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures* One moooore thing! - I need help with naming Calypso's attacks. I've decided to use various heart throbs, but I want to stick to more old timey, classic ones if possible. My old timey heart throb knowledge is somewhat limited, so please float ideas out there if you have any.

I'm thinking of changing "Sinatra Slash" into "Sinatra Song" so that the names more correlate with the actual person they're named after. I'm not opposed to simply naming attacks with non-related alliteration though. (Sinatra Slash, Casanova Cut, that sort of thing). Ideas are greatly appreciated, even if you can just give me some names to research.

Along that vein, here's a fun fact. Hector hasn't had named attacks until his _King Gidorah_ in the previous chapter. Though the Dance Masters in the last story are loosely based on the husband and I, I discovered that I tend to picture my husband when I write or draw Hector. (Probably because on our second date, I remember having a long discussion with him about why General Hector is the best character in Homer's Iliad. Yup. We're nerds). Husband is a huuuuge Godzilla fan (as am I, though he's definitely got me beat), which is why Hector has kaiju attacks.

I mentioned in the first story that Hector is a personal favorite. Now I guess you see why. ^_^*snuggles hubby*

But let's not get distracted about the topic at hand. Calypso moves. Go!


	20. Chapter 20 - Marine Mayhem

**A/N:** Remember that thing I said about not introducing any more OCs? -I can't seem to help myself. Sorry not sorry?

So we hit 100 reviews last update. Made my day. Thanks as always for your readership and support!

* * *

Ch. 20 – Marine Mayhem

Zoro saw that Nausicaa had pulled Kuina from the blimp before it exploded, but after that he lost track of everybody as soot and heat overwhelmed his animal senses. Before he knew it he was inches from the ground. His smaller, weaker fox body probably wouldn't survive the impact. Stupid Perona…

Some of the litter in the street had started to whirl as though caught in a dust devil. Zoro had noticed it only peripherally, thinking it was probably just caught up in the wind of the explosion. Right before he inevitably smashed into the cobbles, the whirlwind turned into a mini tornado, cushioning his fall. He landed with a soft thud, not even hard enough to bruise.

The litter storm dissipated a moment later, leaving him with a few candy wrappers caught in his now thoroughly matted fur. He looked thankfully up at Nausicaa, who crouched over him, still clutching Kuina.

"I told Mom my powers are good for way more than just spying," she grumbled, setting the girl down next to her father. "Anyway, we're totes lucky I dropped a ton of litter around town earlier, or we'd have been toast. She turned to rescue Cygnus from where he'd landed beak down in a trash can. "It'll take me hours to make another blimp, though, so I guess we'd better start walking. Hopefully that #lamegoth can beat my Mom soon so you can turn back…"

" _Lookout, kid!"_ Zoro yipped at her. He knew Nausicaa couldn't understand him, but spoke out of habit as he tackled her in the nick of time. One of those enormous slashes smashed through the part of the street she'd been standing on.

He saved her from being sliced in two, but the slash crashed through a house near her. A piece of falling debris caught her by the head, and she keeled over into the street.

Zoro swore, nudging Kuina away from the wreckage as Cygnus flapped his wings to clear the dust away.

" _Miss Nausicaa?"_ he honked, nudging her with his beak.

No response. Blood trickled from beneath her Navy ball cap.

Grabbing her with his webbed toes, he flapped and hauled her out from under the remaining wreckage. Meanwhile, people poured out into the street around the destroyed houses. This area was completely residential. Not that the Navy seemed to care.

" _Is she ok?"_ Zoro asked. Aside from the head injury she appeared unharmed.

" _She's still breathing,_ " Cygnus replied, " _She may have a concussion, though.–looks pretty bad."_

Zoro eyed the shouting civilians gathering around. Thinking fast, he nabbed Nausicaa's ball cap and tossed it aside into the rubble.

"Hey! There's another one hurt over here!" someone cried, spotting her.

" _Good thinking,"_ Cygnus said. " _They'll be able to take care of her much better than a pair of animals and a toddler."_

" _Speaking of the toddler,"_ Zoro said, suddenly panicked. " _Where'd she go?"_

He and Cygnus looked around the street for a glimpse of the little girl with wild, green curls, but couldn't see her anywhere. Zoro tried using observation haki, but it wasn't strong enough to detect her in all of the hullabaloo. Cygnus circled once above the rooftops, but couldn't see her in any of the adjoining streets.

 _"Dammit, kid. Where'd you wander off to so fast?"_ Zoro growled, but then he paused and sniffed the air. " _Wait, I think I smell her_." He hadn't paid much attention to it before, but he noticed it now. She smelled like baby powder and soap, but also like…herself. He didn't really know how to explain it, she just had her own scent.

" _What are you waiting for? Go get her!"_ Cygnus cried, flapping his wings. " _When you find her, get her to Andromache; she'll take it from there. Then for gods' sakes, man, get back to Helena. She's going to need all the help she can get!"_

 _"What about you?"_ Zoro asked hurriedly.

" _I should stay with Miss Nausicaa and make sure she's alright. We owe her that much,"_ Cygnus replied, then grinned slyly. " _After that, I think I'll go find some churros. It is a festival after all."_

" _You think it's going to come to that?"_

" _It might,"_ the king replied. " _And if it does, I'll be prepared. Now, go! Before you lose the scent!"_

Zoro nodded. " _Take care of yourself, Pops,"_ he said, then turned and bounded off. Seconds later, when he should have been out of human earshot, his vulpine ears picked up Cygnus' quiet response:

" _You too, Hurricane,"_ he muttered. " _Don't die out there, son."_

* * *

Coby kept his telescope pointed toward the shattered docks. Parts of Mycenae lay in shambles now, with deep trenches cutting straight through the streets and gabled buildings. Soon Ilium proper wouldn't fare much better, though the walls did limit the attack's trajectory some.

Between the slash damage, and the fact that anything wooden on the docks had been burned to cinders earlier, it looked like landing would prove troublesome. The lack of strategy and coordination between units was irksome to say the least.

"Remind me who on our side is doing that again?" Helmeppo asked, just as another enormous slash glanced off the surface of the water toward their enemy.

"Yoma Masophat," Coby replied.

"What did you say about my Mama?!"

"No, that's just his name," the captain corrected irritably. "He's…well, he's famous. And a little…strange. You really haven't heard of him?"

Helmeppo shrugged. "Looks like he's going to win the battle before we even land."

"That would save us the trouble of figuring out how," Coby muttered.

* * *

More annoyed than sheepish, Calypso glared out at the attacking Navy as it came closer and closer to the shore. He didn't like being upstaged with his own attack. Not to mention they'd botched his attempt to impress Helena.

Speaking of the Queen; Calypso had to admit she had guts. The battle on the docks ground to a halt after the first few slashes tore through everything. Everyone with any sense of self-preservation had taken refuge, or tried. Helena, however, must have realized that nothing could truly protect them from attacks like these. She stood completely exposed at the edge of the ocean, glaring out at the enemy with nothing in hand but her sea stone dagger.

Calypso sauntered up beside her, one machete slung casually over his shoulder as he tapped the other pensively at his side.

"What's the plan, mon?" he asked.

Helena glanced sidelong to where Hector had Regent pinned. As they watched, Regent flipped Hector over, his three heads snarling. And so the stalemate continued. They couldn't use Hector to stop the approaching ships.

"Is it a swordsman causing this, do you think?" Helena asked him, "Or a devil?" she flipped the dagger around her hand in anticipation.

"If I had to hazard a guess," Calypso said, grinning at her pluck, "I'd say it's Yoma Masophat."

"What'd you say about my Mama?" Helena asked, turning a glare at him.

"No, Captain Yoma. That's his name," Calypso explained quickly. "That looks like something his devil fruit power could do, mon."

"How do you know so much about the navy?" Helena asked suspiciously.

She didn't miss a beat, that one. "Wouldn't you like to know," Calypso replied, winking at her. "So Yoma's got a devil fruit that can capture, store, and reuse attacks. I'm thinking those slashes that keep hitting us are mine."

"Lovely," Helena replied with little enthusiasm. "That's how you've managed to block some of them, I take it."

Calypso nodded at her, glad she had noticed his daring attempts to keep the slashes away from her civilians. "That's also why I haven't tried to sink any more of their ships. If he captures anything stronger from me, we'll be in even bigger trouble."

At that moment, another slash ripped across the ocean. Helena pushed Calypso aside, running straight into the attack's path.

"What are you doing, mon!" Calypso cried.

"If it's a sword attack, then it's something I can block," she insisted.

Idiot woman! She knew nothing about haki! And if she got herself killed, that shot Cipher Pole's plans back to square one. Calypso tried to reach her, to push her aside, but by then it was too late. She faced the attack head on, catching it with her dagger.

The sea prism blade had been beautifully crafted; it sparked but didn't shatter or break under the weight of the attack, even without armament haki. Unfortunately, despite Helena's skill and daring do, she still lacked the strength to redirect or negate the blow. It pushed her back, hard and fast until she struck one of the houses behind her. The wooden building snapped around her, knocking her off of her feet. When she fell backward the glowing slash glanced off of her blade and flew upward, slicing through the roof above her.

"Your Majesty!" a woman with cinnabar hair emerged from the now shattered house. She slung Helena's arm over her shoulder and helped her to her feet before Calypso could get there. A red-headed boy, around twelve or thirteen-years-old, followed them out of the wreckage, his eyes wide.

"As I thought," Helena said, wincing. "Sea prism is strong enough to block it. Get everyone in Mycenae behind the walls. Talk to Agamemnon – he has the manpower to make it happen. Quickly!"

"But Queen Helena, you're hurt," the boy said.

"Don't worry about me, Ajax," Helena replied, smiling at him. "Just take care of your mom, ok? Sorry about your house. I did my best to protect it."

The boy nodded, and he and his mother beat a hasty retreat, drawing their neighbors with them. Helena watched them go, then grimaced as she rotated the shoulder of her dagger arm, popping it audibly back into place.

"Your house will be next if we don't do something, mon," Calypso observed, glancing toward the semi-distant palace where the slashes aimed over the walls could still hit Ilium proper higher up the hillside.

Limping a little, Helena walked back toward the ocean and approaching ships. "I think you should help get the civilians to safety," she informed him.

He didn't move from her side. "I think that woman and her son have it covered, mon," he observed. "Anyway, you expect me to leave you after a crazy stunt like that? Someone's got to keep you in check."

Helena smirked, but ignored his proffered arm, her gait growing stronger with each step. She retrieved something heavy from the battle detritus as she ambled forward. When she liked her vantage point, she cracked her neck first one way, then the other, then swung a mortar launcher up onto her shoulder.

Calypso had seen her men use one of them before. A shatter-cannon. It usually had a stand to keep it steady, but Helena balanced it easily across her arm and pointed it toward Captain Yoma's ship.

"This isn't usually my weapon of choice, but I'm not a bad shot," she said, narrowing her gaze through the scope. "Let's send the devil home, shall we?"

* * *

Helena's evacuation order meant that the fighting animals from Mycenae found their way into Ilium proper. Most were smart enough to keep the battle next to the walls, where they had gone to take cover in the first place. One unit of wolves, however, wasn't content to fight a bunch of cows. They made their way toward the palace, hoping to find their fortune in the form of the infant princess.

In one of Ilium's many side streets, farther from the palace than anticipated, their leader stopped short, sniffing the air. Large and broad-shouldered for a wolf, and even larger and broader-shouldered as a man, he didn't have to do more than breathe a command to halt; his men were too intimidated by him not to pay close attention to his every whim.

" _She's-a close-a,"_ he growled, twitching a trim black mustache at the end of his snout. " _There's-a her scent-a."_

His men didn't question him. Earlier, their captain had been the one General Hector had threatened and sent to be the messenger of defeat to Regent. While his encounter with the surly Vice Admiral had been life threatening to say the least, he'd also been right beside him when the Princess had fallen from the sky. He'd been transformed into a wolf by Circe enough to isolate a scent, even as a human.

" _This-a way-a_ ," he snarled, and his pack followed closely behind.

They turned a corner into an alley, but to the wolf captain's surprise, he didn't find the little girl he was looking for. A green, one-eyed fox turned to look him up and down, unimpressed.

" _Roronoa,"_ the wolf growled. " _Mamma Mia, you smell-a like-a your little girl-a."_

 _"Like baby soap?"_ Zoro asked, lifting a brow. " _Well, she has been riding my shoulders for a while. Maybe that explains why I can't find her. So…who are you?"_

 _"I am sure that you have heard the name, Aldolpho!"_ the wolf proclaimed with pride.

" _Uh,"_ Roronoa really didn't sound as worried as he should. He was, after all, just a little fox.

The wolf went on, " _A ladies man who wins acclaim, Aldolpho!"_

 _"Yeah, I heard you the first…"_

" _Well, stupid fox, I am the same Aldolpho!"_

 _"Do you really have to sing it?"_

 _"I introduce myself. I am Aldolpho."_

Roronoa stared at him in confusion. This was a common reaction; one Captain Aldolpho had a hard time understanding considering he'd just repeated the name four times.

" _Right,"_ Roronoa said. He eyed the rest of the wolf pack, clearly aware that he lacked any avenue of escape. " _And you all are more of Circe's underlings I take it."_

 _"Uffa, no!"_ Adolpho snarled. " _They-a answer to me-a! Tear him apart-a, men! We'll bring Regent his corpse-a in a shoebox-a!_ "

* * *

Zoro knew he was in trouble.

He could easily take on these guys, with or without his swords, in human form. But though he was strong for a fox, he simply didn't have enough muscle mass to take on a pack of wolves.

Maybe he could outfox them. He glanced around, looking for an avenue of escape. What he found made his heart sink instead. As it turned out, he and Aldolpho hadn't been too far off with their scent-tracking. Right there in the dead ended alleyway, he could see a pair of familiar, chubby legs kicking out of a pile of boxes. Kuina had apparently been climbing on them and gotten herself stuck head down.

Fortunately, Aldolpho and his pack couldn't see her yet. Against all paternal instinct, Zoro edged away from her, trying to keep their gaze on him.

It was no use. A moment later Kuina got free and when she saw him, she immediately charged to his side, her little legs pumping and arms open wide.

"Papa!"

She scooped him into an awkward embrace, snuggling her soft, babyish cheeks into his fur. Zoro melted, despite himself. How'd he end up with a daughter this ridiculously cute? Of course, then she started squeezing him half to death and he had other things to worry about.

It wasn't long before she noticed the encroaching wolf pack. She dropped her father, and before Zoro could regain his breath, approached Captain Aldolpho and his clan with her little hands extended.

"Puppies!" she cried.

Aldolpho took a step back, slightly alarmed.

" _Bambina, you're-a supposed to be afraid of us,"_ he informed her, twitching his mustache.

"Good doggy," she said, patting his muzzle. She threw her arms around his muscular neck, snuggling into him. "I like you."

" _Kuina, get away from him!"_ Zoro yipped in a panic, not that she could understand him. He dashed forward, trying to put himself between Kuina and the Marine, heedless of his own safety. Without hesitation, Aldolpho caught Zoro in his jaws, prepared to snap him in two.

Kuina's demeanor changed on a dime. She slapped Captain Aldolpho across the muzzle with surprising ferocity.

"BAD DOGGY!" she shrieked, shaking a finger at him. "NO HURT PAPA! BAD DOGGY!" Kuina's big, brown, baby-doll eyes watered, then let loose a veritable waterfall of tears. "Why you so mean?" she wailed, hiding her face in her hands.

Aldolpho let out an apologetic whimper. " _I'm-a sorry, bambina!_ " he insisted through his mouthful.

As she couldn't speak wolfish, this did nothing to appease her. Her pitiable sobs could have easily rent the toughest of heartstrings, which Aldolpho for all his posturing clearly didn't possess.

" _He's fine-a_!" he insisted hurriedly, depositing Zoro unharmed (though covered in drool) beside the weeping child. " _Look-a bambina! He's-a not hurt-a!"_

Sniffling, Kuina scooped Zoro up again in her embrace. "Nice doggy," she said, kissing Aldolpho on the snoot, which drew a collective "aww" from his men. Kuina smiled a brave little smile, which made them melt. Then she let out a little giggle as she snuggled the fox in her arms, and the helpless marines were knocked off of their feet completely.

Kuina half-dragged her vulpine father straight through the center of the dazed wolf pack while they fawned over her, wagging their tails. When they had gotten clear, Zoro quickly wriggled free of her grip.

" _Time to go, kid!"_ he said. He ducked under her and straightened up, glad to note that he was still strong enough to carry her.

As he trotted away with his daughter in tow, the wolves behind him blinked at each other in confusion.

" _Che macello!"_ Aldolpho cried with a start, " _Don't-a let them get away-a!"_

Zoro took off as fast as his frustratingly small legs would allow, the wolves nipping at his heels. Kuina wrapped her arms around his neck, delighted at the ride. Her spellbindingly sweet laughter pealed through the streets, but did nothing to slow their pursuers this time.

It looked like even her charm had its limits.


	21. Chapter 21 - When Foxes Fly

A/N: Happy Halloween, All! I have a treat for you this All Hallow's, no trick. Tis an update (at long last)! This chapter went through a few re-writes. It was almost twice as long, but I cut out a bunch to improve flow. (Hence it took so long for me to update.) N'Joy!

* * *

Ch. 21 – When Foxes Fly

Helena rocked back a bit on the recoil as her shatter cannon ripped through the night. Her mortar flew straight toward the enemy ship and then…disappeared.

"What in Hades?" she cried. She narrowed her gaze through the scope, but saw nothing: no explosion lighting up her targeted ship, no giant splash as the mortar hit the water by mistake. Nothing. She tossed the shatter cannon aside in disgust. She'd used up her only shot.

"Get down!" Calypso cried as cannon fire rocked the port.

Helena dropped into a crouch and swore again as the houses behind her started to go up in flames. "We're in range now. They've gotten too close."

"Are you going to let them land, mon?" Calypso asked.

"Wait. I think we've got one more trick up our sleeve," Helena said, gazing intently into the harbor. A few minutes later several explosions in front of the encroaching army sent geysers of water and fire spraying into the night.

"Naval Mines," Calypso observed as more ships went down.

"Rigged to go off remotely. That's the Sea Prism miners' handiwork," Helena informed him. "Agamemnon's divers know the bay inside and out."

"This Agamemnon person. He seems to have a lot of power."

"He owns practically all of the mines, and most of Mycenae" Helena said offhandedly as she narrowed her eyes, trying to get a count for the number of ships remaining. "He lives in that big mansion."

"Or he used to…" Calypso pointed out, raising a brow over his shoulder at a large mansion that dominated Mycenae. One of its gabled roofs had been completely sliced off. Its facade sported three huge, burning, cannonball-inflicted holes.

Another burst of cannon fire rocked the harbor, knocking them both to their knees again.

"There are still too many of them," Helena growled, glaring at the ships as though doing so could make them turn back.

A loud roar drew her attention back over to Hector and Regent. The Vice Admiral had sunk the needle like teeth of two of his heads into one of Hector's long, sylvan necks. With an audible crack, he snapped through the twisting, sinuous bark and tossed the head aside.

That was his mistake. The neck vines that remained after their beheading quickly shot out at Regent's two heads, capturing them in a web of branches.

Hector held them fast as he turned his attention to the remaining, fire-breathing head. It was obvious he was doing his best not to tear off the hydra heads and make Regent more powerful. As Helena contemplated his strategy, her eyes widened with an epiphany.

Sheathing her sea prism dagger, she drew her remaining three swords, only she didn't hold any in her toes like she usually did. Placing Peleus in her jaw, she grinned wickedly around its hilt as she crossed the remaining two blades over her.

"Dark Inspiration: Sword of the Demon!"

She grounded herself with a more powerful stance than she usually had, then spun and slashed toward Regent. He apparently noticed her, but as she anticipated, he intentionally didn't blacken the scales on his necks; just his body. He didn't mind being beheaded after all. The slash severed each of the necks cleanly at the root.

Calypso didn't seem impressed. "You made up a move in _his_ sword style," he observed flatly.

"Took a lot of training, too," Helena said, pulling the sword from her smirking mouth. "Throwing a slash with your teeth is no picnic." She turned her attention back to the two-headed tree dragon staring in confusion at his temporarily vanquished foe.

"General, NOW!" she cried, "Attack the ships before he can grow his heads back!"

"Aye, my Queen!"

Dragon-Hector tossed aside Regent's wriggling, headless, still haki-protected body. As he went, the General's tree form unbraided itself around him, turning into a roiling wooden wave. He struck first at one ship, melding with any wood he touched and making it sprout. From that ship he hit two more, and then four, and so on. In a matter of minutes he'd completely gridlocked the entire navy fleet.

"Sink them all!" Helena commanded.

The Navy sailors cried out in alarm as the ships beneath them started to groan and pull apart. Even the metal ships weren't safe as the branches around them bored into their hulls. Their ships were close enough now that Helena could see the fear in the posture of the men on board. That'd teach them to invade her country!

Then something happened that she didn't anticipate. Her own shatter cannon mortar suddenly rocketed toward them from Yoma's ship, aimed directly at Hector.

Hector had told her once that when he possessed wood, his consciousness spread throughout it as though it were a part of his own body. That meant that he could aim and attack all the ships out at sea while his actual (albeit currently wooden body) remained rooted like a tree to the shore. That also meant that while he was distracted by his destructive work, he didn't notice his own danger until it was too late.

"HECTOR!" Helena screamed in dismay.

But she wasn't close enough to him to help, nor did her voice of warning do any good. The explosive crashed into him with force, tearing easily through the bark of his rooted body. The sap leaking from his wounds soon dripped red as he changed back to normal and unwillingly fell away from the enormous wooden web he had created. He fell amid the cinders, crushed stone and other rubble of the harbor, and didn't move.

Helena ran the rest of the distance between them, rage coursing through her. She dropped to her knees beside him, turning the big man face up so she could check his vitals.

"He's still breathing," she told Calypso, who'd followed her. "Fortunately, it looks like the more serious damage of the mortar hit him while in tree form. His powers will be locked until we can get rid of all of the sea prism shrapnel, but he'll be fine."

"But you…"

"…won't be…"

"…for…"

"…long…"

"…your…."

"…Majessssty!"

Helena jumped to her feet as Regent's heads hissed at her. There were six of them now, and no Hector to keep them at bay.

"Your…"

"…sssilly…"

"…ssstrategy…"

"…sssolved a…."

"…major problem…"

"…for usss," Regent went on.

"I ssshould…"

"…thank…."

"…you…"

"…for…"

"… your…"

"…thoughtfulnessssss."

Helena's eyes darted between the six heads, her lips pursed as she tried to fathom what the monstrous creature was getting at.

"Uh, 'Elena?" Calypso said from beside her, tapping her shoulder.

"That's Queen 'Elena to…" she started, daring to glance over her shoulder. She forgot about correcting him when her eyes alighted on the encroaching navy. "Zeus' Thunderous Fanny!" she cursed.

* * *

"Well, I suppose that fixes that," Coby observed.

General Hector's winding wooden vines of doom turned out to be just what they needed. In catching the entire Navy in his thick, buoyant net, he'd docked them to the otherwise impassible harbor.

Helmeppo didn't respond. He was too busy pounding a fist to his heart as though to get it started again. He and the rest of the crew had been positive they were about to sink when a great, thick root corkscrewed its way around their entire vessel. It had stopped just before it could snap them into kindling.

Of course, if they had to retreat, the wooden gridlock would prove problematic; not that any of the men currently in charge seemed to be thinking more than one step ahead. And if General Hector got back on his feet again it could prove deadly for anyone dawdling on board the vessels.

"Disembark, men!" Coby commanded. "Charge the shore!"

* * *

Calypso watched Helena as she surveyed the men charging at them across the ocean. The situation kept going from bad to worse for her, he noticed unsympathetically. Anyway, the Queen had such a pretty, fierce little face; simultaneously cute and intimidating when she was concentrating like that.

"Can you stop them?" she asked, oblivious to his unwarranted scrutiny.

"I don't know, mon," he said, "We'd risk Yoma absorbing my attack."

"Didn't he already absorb your attack before? What does it matter if he gets it again?"

Calypso shook his head. "He can only hold on to one attack at a time, mon. Right now he's got the momentum he stole from your devil fruit mortar as his main weapon. We may want to keep it like that."

"Cut the roots closer to shore then," Helena advised.

"Are you sure?" Calypso started, "His power has a range…"

But Helena wasn't listening to him anymore. A certain six-headed dragon wasn't about to wait for her attention any longer, and she needed all of her swords and her concentration to keep from getting eaten alive. Or burnt to a crisp.

…Or frozen to death! Apparently splitting Regent's middle head had been a bad idea. Now he had an ice blast to accompany his fire.

"Hurry!" Helena called to him, dodging a frigid purple beam in the nick of time. "We can't let them make landfall!"

Against his better judgement, Calypso left Helena to battle the beast alone. Without leaping he widened his stance against the stone street and grasped at his sheathed blades.

"Casanova Cut!" he proclaimed, yanking out the machetes in tandem.

They created a glowing crescent moon of sharp light; a horizontal slash this time. It sang out across the harbor, drowning out the alarmed cries of the enemy sailors and illuminating their tangled boats.

Before it struck, a winking dot of golden light snagged Calypso's attention. It was almost impossible to detect unless one was watching for it; like a gold coin half buried in a dirty gutter. Calypso tuned himself to the rhythm of the waves and the boats and the men out on the ocean, and used his new focus to watch as his slash inevitably disappeared into the golden speck.

Yoma had captured his attack.

"Uh, 'Elena my Love," Calypso called.

"A little busy!" she cried, caught in a maelstrom of snapping teeth. "And don't call me that!"

"I was just going to warn you to…DUCK!"

He and Helena hit the dirt just in time to avoid being decapitated. Regent wasn't so lucky. The returning Casanova Cut hit him with enough force to cut cleanly through all six of his serpentine necks, and then proceeded half a mile beyond him to smash into Ilium's sturdy walls.

Helena rolled away before she became buried in misshapen dragon heads. She came to a stop beside Calypso, who quickly put an arm around her, shielding her with his body as a slew of enormous, horizontal slashes crashed into whatever buildings were still standing in the small town behind them.

The onslaught seemed to on forever, and neither swordsman could move without taking a hit. Well, Calypso knew he had haki powerful enough to protect him, but he thought it a more pressing matter to snuggle with the Queen.

"Just great," Helena moaned when a pause finally came, "There won't be any of Mycenae left at this rate!"

"It gets better," Calypso pointed out. "Look up, mon."

Helena shook him off. Still keeping her head low in case of another attack, she looked up as prompted, then took in a sharp breath.

The Marines had made landfall.

* * *

Zoro had a stitch in his side; a sharp reminder of his tiny body's limitations. He could only run so far with Kuina astride him before Aldolpho's pack caught up with them. Even if they could get any sort of lead, Zoro didn't doubt that they would be able to sniff him out if he tried to hide.

To make matters worse, the wolves had started to howl. At first, Zoro figured they were just trying to intimidate him. But then a bunch of distant wolves howled back. They were communicating with their fellow wolf-soldiers! That couldn't be good…

His only hope was that Perona would take care of Circe soon. He doubted Kuina would be able to charm the entire Wolven Navy, after all. One thing was sure, though, he wasn't going down without a fight. In fact, he may as well take a stand before he burned up the rest of his energy.

He flipped around to face their pursuers with his teeth bared. As expected, the pack chasing them now extended beyond Aldolpho's group. There had to be at least a hundred of them.

What he didn't expect was for all of the wolves to stop short, clearly intimidated.

 _That's right,_ he thought with smug self-assurance.

"Ann!" Kuina cried, jumping off of his back.

Zoro glanced over his shoulder in time to see Kuina throw her arms around Andromache's leg. The pixyish nursemaid had her sword and teeth bared with daunting ferocity. And she wasn't alone.

So this must be the Nursemaid Unit Helena had mentioned. Including Andromache, there were five nursemaids in total, all but one of them carrying ridiculously oversized weapons. Along with her huge sword, Zoro saw a crossbow the size of a ballista, a spear twice as tall as its wielder, and a wrecking ball of a ball-and-chain.

Andromache was easily the smallest of the group, though the other women were average in height at best. The only male nursemaid was younger than the rest by at least a decade, and towered over them by several feet. Instead of a huge weapon, he carried a sea-stone, military grade dagger like Helena's; in his dishpan sized hand, it looked like little more than a pocket knife.

Zoro recognized him both by the last time he'd been in Ilium, and by the kid's unmistakable resemblance to his father. Broad chest, square jaw, massive shoulders; it was unmistakably Astyanax du Hector et Andromache.

"Ax!" Kuina said as he scooped her up in one big, burly arm.

"There you are, kiddo. You had us all worried," he said, ruffling her messy hair. He shifted her to the side, and held his dagger out in front of them. The other nursemaids likewise had their enormous weapons at the ready. Despite their lack of numbers, it was clear why the wolves had stopped in their tracks.

" _It's about damn time,"_ Zoro yipped at Andromache.

Then he realized he'd made a terrible mistake in drawing attention to himself.

"First a goose, now a pack of dogs led by a diseased, green fox, eh?" Andromache said. "You're going to pay for trying to make off with the Princess."

She wound up her enormous scimitar like a baseball player at bat. And Zoro was the ball! What were his options? Run away? –yeah, right into a crowd of none-too-friendly wolves. A lot of good that would do him.

So he did the only thing he could think to do, and made a mad dash toward his one ally. When she saw him, Kuina clapped and held her arms out toward him from her perch in Astyanax's arms. That didn't stop her chief nursemaid from swinging wide her mighty blade.

Zoro knew it was coming, and made to dodge it. If he could just reach Kuina, he'd be safe. Unfortunately he timed a jump just a little too slow. The sword connected with his ribcage, knocking him skyward with enough velocity that soon the wolves and nursemaids had turned into tiny dots in the distance.

* * *

"Heh. Look at that, he cleared the wall," Andromache chuckled as her home run flew out of sight. She lifted her blade out in front of her, eyeing it warily. "That should have cut him in half, though. What is wrong with this sword?"

"Did you forget to take off the child-proofing again, Mom?" Astayanax asked, rolling his eyes

"Aw, Thunder-Farts," Andromache cursed, pulling a foam edge off of her sword.

"PAPA!" Kuina screamed, "WAAAAH! …ahhh…ah…zzzzzzzz…"

"Poor thing's exhausted," Astyanax observed. He ruffled the sleeping Princess' hair. "Time to go to bed, sleepy head. Let's get you home, but first," he, his mother, and the rest of the nurses turned to the wolf pack. "Who wants some?"

* * *

"We've got to retreat," Helena called to Calypso, who guarded her back as she kept her focus on Regent.

The hydra had grown too many heads to count by now. Yoma's horizontal slashing barrage had made sure of that. To top it off, the middle bundle of heads could shoot fire, ice, poison and goodness knew what else by now. His power had become overwhelming.

Meanwhile, more and more marines flooded what remained of the docks. Thankfully her people had already taken cover behind the walls.

"Retreat?" Calypso asked incredulously.

"The two of us can't take on this entire fleet! Not without Hector."

"I beg to differ, mon," Calypso insisted. "You could knock out half the navy right now if you just used your conqueror's haki again."

Helena jumped to dodge one head, driving both her foot swords into its skull while she ducked to avoid more gaping jaws.

"My what?" she asked, thrusting Peleus upward to stab another head through the gullet. The two dead heads quickly became a meal for the rest, and Regent sprouted four more to replace them. Helena gritted her teeth. She was getting nowhere.

"Look," she started tetchily, "Unless some kind of miracle falls from the sky…"

She stopped with mouth agape mid-word as a little green blur came careening over the wall and straight toward her. Instinctively her swords went up to protect her face, but then she made eye-contact with the projectile.

It was a moment frozen in time; a warrioress with her swords half lifted and a mint-green fox floating mid-air. She and the little creature stared at one another with their expressions dreadfully contorted in bewilderment.

And then he barreled into her face, so fast and hard that her head snapped back. She stumbled away from Regent, off of the stonework of the docks, and they disappeared into the wine-dark sea.


	22. Chapter 22 - Yoma Masophat

A/N: Hi guys! So I know I just took a month long hiatus without warning you, but I have a lovely Christmas gift for you this December. I did NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) through the month of November, and used it to finish Odyssey. Yup. It's all written (sans the epilogue. I need to do some research to make sure I properly tie this into the anime). That means I can update every Friday from here until it's over!

I didn't update as I was writing because I didn't have time to both word vomit and edit the blasted thing. That means the chapter divisions could change as I revise it, but as of right now there are 31 chapters in total. So 8 chapters after this one.

So! Because I took such a long break and have so much writing done, I was thinking of offering a nice little bonus/incentive. If I get, oh, say, 10 reviews, I'll post another chapter on Tuesday as well as provide next Friday's update.

Happy Reading!

* * *

Ch. 22 – Yoma Masophat

The cold dunking shocked Zoro and Helena back to their senses. Fortunately, the water here wasn't too deep, so Helena got to her feet, holding the sopping fox out in front of her by the nape.

"What in Hades-?!" she exclaimed. "Zoro, how'd you get turned into a fox again? Wait, nevermind. It was Circe, right? – Oh, but you're bleeding! Are you ok?! Holy Zeus, you're missing an eye! Wait…you were…always missing an eye, weren't you? I mean, what happened to it anyway? Nevermind that now, is Kuina safe?"

Zoro stared at her with a bemused kind of patience as she barraged him with questions. When she finally paused with the last one, he nodded at her, and she sighed with relief.

"Come on, you're just in time for the fun," she told him, draping Zoro across her shoulders like a bloodstained, bedraggled fox-fur.

"'Elena! Get out of there!" Calypso called to her suddenly.

Zoro hadn't had time to notice much during his flyby, but he caught sight of Regent looming over them now. He had way more heads than before. A few of the center ones had opened their mouths wide; their gullets had started to glow with an eerie purple light.

 _More fireballs?_ Zoro thought. In that case, he and Helena would probably be safer under the water. He took in a gulp of breath in anticipation.

To his surprise, though, Helena scrambled toward the stonework of the docks. She wouldn't make it in time, whatever she was trying to accomplish. Just as she grabbed hold of the cobbled stone wall, a trice of frigid purple beams struck the water.

Ice crystals spread across the ocean surface, turning the waves into jagged ice sculptures. Since when could Regent do that?

It took a lot to freeze seawater. Zoro had only seen it done once before, when Akoji had frozen a path across the ocean to help a bunch of shipwrecked civilians escape a deserted island. Robin had been frozen in a fight to follow, and nearly died. Heck, he remembered his own arm getting struck by the Admiral's powers. He'd risked losing it to frostbite. Helena would be in big trouble if Regent trapped her, even only partway, in the ice.

Fortunately she just managed to hoist herself free of the water, with help from Calypso. He caught hold of Helena's climbing hand, yanking her to the safety of the stone street above.

"That was close," Helena gasped, her breath showing in little clouds. She turned to look out across the harbor as the ice continued to spread. Regent trapped a few of his own men in the ocean, particularly any who had come close enough to the shore to wade. But he'd also extended the platform Hector had made, making a jagged path for the rest of the marines to follow, speeding their invasion.

"Hades' Band-Aid," Helena spat.

Zoro and Calypso both stared at her incredulously.

"Was that a curse, mon?" Calypso asked.

" _What happened to a good ol' Hell or Damn?"_ Zoro yipped.

"Shut up, you guys," she snapped. "How are a Queen, a fox, and an obnoxious blowhard supposed to take on the entire navy?"

" _Hear that? You're an obnoxious blowhard,"_ Zoro chortled. " _The Queen said it, so it must be true."_

"Your Majesty, you appear to have a dead rat hanging around your neck," Calypso retorted. Though he obviously couldn't understand what Zoro was saying, he got the gist. "Allow me to dispose of it for you, mon. It's probably diseased."

Zoro jumped upright to stand on one of Helena's shoulders and snapped his teeth at him, growling.

Helena might have rolled her eyes, but Regent was on top of them again. Calypso jumped one way and she and Zoro went the other, dodging teeth and beams of light.

"He's not particularly coordinated," Helena observed to Zoro when they'd gotten out of range.

" _Who, Short Stuff over there?_ " Zoro asked, though the person he was mocking actually dodged through the swaying forest of necks and heads with obvious grace and skill.

"Regent," Helena clarified as though reading his mind. "Look, he just froze three of his own heads!"

" _I see what you mean,"_ Zoro replied. He noticed that Regent had also bitten himself by mistake. And caught one of his necks in a fireball. " _He must be a glutton for punishment."_

An earsplitting crash drew their attention away from the hydra. They only caught sight of the aftermath; an enormous cloud of dust. An equally enormous slash had clearly smashed into the ground in front of the walls just seconds before.

"Oh no, he doesn't," Helena growled. "He knows he can't take down the sea prism walls, so he's going to try and topple them from the foundation."

" _Who?"_ Zoro asked with interest.

Helena didn't answer except to tell him to hold on tight. She dashed toward the navy with a blade in each hand, shouting a war cry in a language he didn't understand.

"Eleleu!"

" _Are you seriously going to rush the navy alone?"_ Zoro asked. " _Helena, I love you, but you're definitely outmatched…"_

The war cry did something to raise her spirits and adrenaline; he could feel the waves of haki pulsating from her again, but they weren't nearly as powerful as when Kuina had been in danger. It wasn't enough to knock anyone out, but it did make the charging marines pause to stare at her. A few even took a step back in alarm.

Helena leapt atop a pile of rubble, baring her sea prism dagger.

"Where are you, Yoma?!" she cried, eyes blazing.

At that precise moment, one of the big gates in the walls leading to Ilium proper opened wide. Helena didn't bother to look behind her at it; just smirked in satisfaction.

"It's about time, Agamemnon," she murmured with a grin.

Zoro looked at the walls and felt a wave of relief. So Helena wasn't planning on fighting the Navy alone. He thought all of her men had been turned to cows, but it appeared she had reserves.

Zoro cocked his head at her in confusion. Why hadn't she pulled these fellows out of her pocket sooner?

"Agamemnon employs his own security detail," she explained, noticing his bewilderment. "It's a rather _big_ detail. They protect not just him, but his property. The mines. He can always be counted on to come to Ilium's aid, especially if the harbor is threatened."

The small army standing at the gates didn't wear the uniforms of Ilium's soldiers. They had the insignia of a diamond and a pick; symbol of the sea prism miners. At the fore stood a beefy man; a fighter who had probably been strong once but had let himself go. He wore armor plated in pure gold and glittering with diamonds.

Yes, he had a taste for the finer things in life. – something Nami had availed herself of when she'd been here. Even at war, he chose to pull a sword from a ruby-topped cane rather than using something more battle worthy. This he lifted, shouting out the same war cry his Queen had called out seconds before:

"Eleleu!"

Helena returned the call. "Eleleu!" cried she, raising her dagger. "Hear us, Alala! Daughter of Eres! Prelude of the spears! You to whom men fall as offerings for their homeland in death's holy sacrifice. Give us victory! Eleleu!"

Agamemnon's men pounded their spears on their round, brass shields as the rest took up the call. Though they were only a fraction of the size of the invading navy, their enemies took another step back in alarm.

Yoma apparently wasn't intimidated. Helena barely managed to keep her feet attached to her ankles as another giant, horizontal slash crashed through her pile of rubble. She jumped over it in the nick of time, and hit the ground running.

Yoma turned his attack to the walls again, only more specifically he focused his energy on Agamemnon and his men. They survived only because his aim was a hair short.

"Coward! You hide behind borrowed powers!" Helena raged. "I am Queen Helena de Zoro of the Line of Prometheus! The ancient walls of Ilium will not be felled on my watch!"

She dashed right into the crowd of marines, cutting a swath through them with practiced ease. She was running straight toward where the big slash had originated from, but it was hard to pick out the perpetrator.

"FACE ME, YOMA MASOPHAT!" Helena spat.

"YO, WHATCHU CALL MY MAMA?" a man in a captain's coat shouted in response.

" _Seriously. First the weird swear, and now you can't even think of a good insult?"_ Zoro snickered. _"You're off your game today, Ohimesama."_

Helena flicked his nose for his petulant tone, and raised a brow at the captain incredulously. One of his underlings tapped him on the epaulet:

"Uh, sir. I think she was just calling you by name."

"Yo, you're right! Sorry 'bout that, aiight?" Yoma rapped. "Challenging me to a fight is a bit green. You really the Queen?"

The man wore more bling than even Agamemnon, which was saying something. Huge golden chains looped his neck and shoulders. Enough Gem-laden rings glittered on his perfectly normal sized fingers that they looked stubby. A gleaming berry sign as big as a dinner plate graced his caved chest. He wore his white uniform pants big and baggy, so that they hung around his knees, showing off a pair of berry-sign patterned boxers.

He looked rather sloppy, all told. But his captain's coat billowed, pristine and white, behind him. He had a gold plated yo-yo in hand, which he dipped lazily up and down as he eyed Helena through a pair of completely unnecessary albeit fashionable neon-rimmed sunglasses.

 _"_ You've caused a lot of trouble for me. Something I intend to put an end to now," Helena informed him, raising her dagger close to her face. "You're a lot less intimidating up close, though. Were you aware that your pants have fallen down?"

"Says the woman in a bedsheet," he snickered. "Don't dish what you can't meet! My fashion is a feat so complete it'll spell out your defeat."

" _Word."_ Zoro put in, impressed despite himself.

Helena turned a pensive glare at her foxified husband, and he could see the wheels turning inside her head. He couldn't help a chuckle when a smirk spread across her face:

"Don't be ridiculous! You are a total mess. It's not like you can move with all those chains upon your chest," Helena rapped back. "They say that captain is your ranking, but you'll get a total shanking with your backside half exposed, you're wide open for a spanking."

"Oooo!" Yoma's underlings goaded him competitively.

"You wanna fight me with words? Don't be so absurd. I can chime in with rhymes so sublime it's a crime," Yoma said. "You think you can spar with the star? Just who do you think you are? You may be a queen, but your rapping is subpar."

"Ouch," Calypso put in, appearing suddenly by her side. "Don't tell me you're just going to take that, mon."

"Try to invade my land? I have to take a stand. With word or blade, in sun or shade, I'll kick your can, man," Helena went on. Zoro started beatboxing from her shoulder for good measure. Not to be outdone, Calypso pulled a drum seemingly out of nowhere and started a counter beat. "You're all talk and no game, and your power is so lame. You steal your moves, it only proves, that you're just more of the same. Like your rhymes, you're unoriginal. Unprintable on principle. So bring it on, you navy dog, these swords make me invincible."

"Ow ow!" Zoro howled, punching a paw into the air.

Yoma stared at her with his mouth dropped open while his underlings cheered her despite themselves. Calypso and Zoro actually exchanged a fist-to-paw bump, temporarily united in Helena's triumph.

"Yo, your fox can beat box."

"Yes. Apparently he can," Helena observed. "He has many hidden talents." She raised a brow pointedly at Calypso, "Especially when we're alone together."

Calypso rolled his eyes, while Zoro stuck his tongue out at him.

"Where'd that drum come from, anyway?" Helena asked.

"A musician never reveals his secrets," Calypso replied with a wink.

"Use your heads! He pulled it from his dreads!" Yoma pointed out. "That was tight! It's too bad you gonna lose this fight! "

Zoro felt Helena tense, widening her posture in preparation for the coming attack. Just in time too. Yoma did something to the yo-yo – squeezed it or something – because it started to glow. He whipped it toward Helena, sending the now familiar slash flying from the spinning toy. The Queen ducked just in time to prevent her own decapitation.

Regent didn't. Helena shot a glare at Calypso as the dragon behind him lost even more heads:

"Did you have to lead him over here?" she snapped. "Like we really need him to become even more powerful."

"I thought you might want my help," Calypso said. "You did just charge an invading Navy by yourself, mon."

"Not by myself, Zoro's with me," Helena pointed out.

Zoro chuffed. A lot of good he could do her right now. All the same, he appreciated the thought.

As they spoke, Agamemnon's men had charged their way through the ruins of Mycenae. Some stopped with their spears bravely pointed toward Regent while the rest leapt into the fray.

Up close, Zoro could see that not all of them wore uniforms or carried spears. A few were civilians, sword-bearers, who'd apparently answered Agamemnon's call to arms. There weren't nearly enough.

"Listen, if you want to help, I need you track down Circe," Helena told Calypso sincerely. "I need my men back to normal so we can repel these invaders."

" _Perona will probably take care of her,"_ Zoro tried to inform her. Then again, maybe it was a good thing she couldn't understand him. They were better off without Calypso anyway.

As Calypso hesitated, Helena dodged another flying yo-yo slash from Yoma, facing her foe with all four swords at the ready. Even as they spoke, more marines flooded the wrecked town.

"Hurry!" she pleaded. "Agamemnon and I can only hold them back for so long."

"I'll do my best mon," Calyspo promised.

Zoro hesitated a moment, but then jumped from Helena's shoulder to Calypso's.

"Stay away from me, rat," Calypso insisted, but Zoro smacked him in the face with his paw, then pointed toward the palace.

"What? You think she's up there?" Calypso asked.

Zoro nodded. After all, Circe had to be looking for her daughter, and that's where they'd been headed when last they left her. It was the best lead they had.

"Fine, but this doesn't mean I like you. Even if you can drop a sick beat, mon," Calypso pouted.

" _Don't worry. Nothing you could do could possibly make me hate you less,"_ Zoro replied, saluting him and standing on his hindlegs. He did a backflip away from him to land on Helena's shoulder as she battled, and the two rivals parted ways.

* * *

Mounted on a grey dappled stallion, Circe surveyed the palace with a calculating look.

"Where'd yeh run off to, Nausicaa, darlin'?" she murmured to herself.

The horse looked up at her as though wondering if she had been talking to it. Well, he wasn't really an "it." Circe had transformed a certain, beleaguered marine from goose to horse to suit her needs.

"Keep your eye on the prize, Bruce," she told him, kicking his sides rather unnecessarily. The intelligent horse, but perhaps not so intelligent marine, could do his mistress' bidding without more than verbal prompting. But then, he had caused all of her problems in the first place, so she had every right to take out her frustrations on him.

He galloped up the palace steps but then stopped short in surprise. A girl with pink pigtails and a shepherdess costume floated in their path, wobbling back and forth midair as she giggled:

"Holo holo holo, _hic_! Holo holo holo, _hic_!"

"Tarnation!" Circe cussed. "Not you again."

The ghostly apparition lifted a hand, wiggling her fingers in a condescending 'hello.' "You _hic_ foxified Zoro again. _Hic!_ I shouldn'ta let you off so easy last time! _Hic!"_

"Come on, Brucey. She's just a ghost. Ride through her!"

Bruce tried to shoot her an incredulous look, but his eyes were stuck on the sides of his head, the idiot. Anyway, he had no choice but to plow forward as Circe dug her spurred heels into his side. "Giddyup ya good-fer-nuthin' glue factory!"

Circe was actually a little relieved to note that her theory was correct. Well, she had known the ghost girl to be incorporeal, but she wasn't quite sure if riding through her would turn her negative like those hollow things she could throw at people.

Speaking of the hollows…

"You know you _hic_ can't escape from me you _hic_ hick! _Hic!"_ Perona cried. "Negative hollow!"

She shot a bunch of sheep-ghosts after the captain and her horse. Her aim was terrible. The hollow-ghost-sheep appeared to be an extension of her, because they also currently had their mistress' lack of coordination.

 _Wait a cotton-pickin' minute,_ Circe thought as Bruce kicked open the door of the palace, wisely fleeing the ghost sheep with all his might. _She's wearin' a costume now. Like a costume fer the festival that's been goin' on round these here parts. An' she's drunk! She ain't a real ghost! She's probably got some kinda devil fruit!_

Fortunately for Circe, the wide halls of the palace offered ample space for her and Bruce to gallop around in. Soon they lost the ghost girl and her spritely sheep, though they could still hear her distinctive laughter in the distance:

"Holo holo holo, _hic!_ Holo holo holo, _hic!_ "

"Alright, Brucey-Goosey, I think I have an idea," Circe informed him, pulling him up short. He panted, his eyes open wide with fear, whether of the ghosts or of his Captain, it was hard to say.

"Ol' McCirce had a farm, ee-ai-ee-ai-oh," she sang, dismounting. "And on that farm she had a _bloodhound! Ee-ai-ee-ai-oh_!"

Bruce glowed gold as his long face and limbs shrank. The hooves turned to paws. His muzzle became a highly effective nose.

"Now listen close, idjit. I don't wanna hafta repeat myself," Circe started, "I want ye to sniff out…"

But before she finished, something poked her in the behind. She jumped to her feet, whipping around with her revolver at the ready.

"Well, boy howdy. I guess I shouldna thought the palace would be unguarded," she cried.

"No, you 'shouldna'" replied a man with a flop of pretty hair. He headed a small battalion of palace soldiers, some carrying spears, some axes. It was a spear that had poked her in the backside as the men formed ranks, blocking the hallway.

"Look, I don't want no trouble," Circe said, raising her hands above her head. "I surrender. Take me pris'ner."

"Paris, what are you orders?" the man who had speared her asked the pretty-boy in charge. Was it her imagination, or did this Paris fella have a quiver of swords on his back.

"Last I heard, we aren't taking any prisoners," Paris replied, drawing a sword from his quiver and putting it to his bow. He pointed it straight at Circe's face: "Not today. Take care of her! And her little dog too!"

But Circe wasn't a navy captain for nothing. It would have been easier to trap him if he or one of his men had tried to cuff her, but despite her squat frame she was surprisingly spry. She dodged the sword he fired at her, singing all the way:

"Ol' McCirce had a farm, ee-ai-ee-ai-oh," she crowed, "And on that farm she had a _mouse_! Ee-ai-ee-ai-oh!" She got close enough fast enough to slap Paris across the face. He glowed gold and immediately started to shrink as whiskers sprouted from his nose. Soon he was nothing more than a tiny, chestnut colored rodent. And he wasn't the only one.

"With a _mousey-mouse_ here and a _mousey-mouse_ there," Circe sang, slapping another soldier as she went, "Here a _mouse_ , there a _mouse,_ everywhere a _mousey-mouse_!"

Unfortunately for her, she was horribly out numbered. One of Paris' men, a soldier wearing gauntlets, managed to capture her arms behind her back.

"Who's got sea prism cuffs?" he demanded as Circe struggled.

"Paris did," another man replied, "But it looks like they shrank into his fur or something."

The soldier holding her swore and tightened his grip on her. "We'll have to take her to one of the sea prism cells then," he said.

At that moment, a certain sound Circe had been dreading finally caught up with her. The drunken, ghoulish laughter of the ghost girl:

"Holo holo holo, _hic!_ Holo holo holo, _hic!"_

She floated lazily through the wall of the hallway, her sheepish entourage wobbling after her like puffs of train smoke.

"Found you!" she sing-songed when she caught sight of Circe. "You can't escape me, _hic!_ Negative Hollow! _"_

Grinning with devilish delight, she pointed her shepherd's crook at Circe's grimacing face. Her ghostly flock shot toward their prey, giggling an echo to their master. The marine captain shut her eyes in anticipation for the feeling of despair seconds away from overwhelming her.

It never came. Circe dared to lift an eyelid, realizing simultaneously that her arms had come free and that she held them defensively in front of her face as though to stop the ghostly onslaught. She looked around her to find the palace guards all on their knees, groaning with dejection.

"HA!" Circe laughed, pointing at the shepherdess in derision. "You should work on yer aim, pard! You couldn't hit a fish in a barrel!" She fired her revolver in the ghost's direction, shooting her through the forehead. Not that it would do any damage, but it did show off her superior aim.

"Huh?" The ghost went cross-eyed as the hole in her forehead faded. "Don't worry, Overalls. _Hic!_ I'll get you this time!"

Circe quickly put her power to work on the rest of the guards, dodging every ghost the ghost girl shot at her. It wasn't really all that difficult considering how drunk she, and consequently her ghosts, were.

"Now, to find my daughter," Circe said, grabbing Bruce the Bloodhound by the scruff. "Sniff her out, Brucey! Ignore the ghost; she can't hurt yeh."

She tossed him down the hallway, scattering mice as he landed, scrambling to his feet. The dogged marine took off; whether he actually had a scent or he was just really eager to get away from the ghosts, it was hard to say. Circe followed behind, puffing a bit as she hauled her own matronly frame through the long hallways.

The ghost girl was never far behind. Suddenly Bruce pulled up short at door, sniffing and scratching.

"Found 'er already, eh?" Circe asked, pushing the door open. The smell of spirits hit her hard in the face, and she clapped a hand over her nose. "What's that Nausicaa been up to?"

She looked over the room, recognizing pretty quickly that it was some kind of palace guest room complete with bed, dresser, nightstand, the usual. She didn't see her daughter.

"Bruce, yeh blazin' idiot!" she screeched, aiming a kick at his ribs that he only barely managed to dodge. "She ain't here!"

Bruce whimpered, and pointed a quivering paw toward the bed. Circe's jaw dropped when she realized the bed was occupied; not with her daughter, but with an unconscious and highly familiar, ruffle clad shepherdess.

"Found yeh!" she crowed, just as the ghost girl passed through the wall. "So yer some kinda astral projection. What would happen if…?"

She reached a hand toward the bed and its sleeping occupant, singing her usual song.

"Wait! _Hic!_ What are you doing?" the ghost girl cried in horror. "Don't you touch me! _Hic!_ Get her, my hollows!"

But her ghosts missed Circe by a few feet, allowing her to finish her spell:

"…on that farm she had a _Pig!_ "

The ghost girl squealed, her ectoplasmic form wavering like a fragile candle flame as she was sucked swiftly back into her rapidly transforming body. Soon the squeal turned to something far more porcine as the pink of her pig tails spread across her pale body. Her long, spindly, ruffle-clad limbs shrank into hooved stubs, her neck disappeared, her bangs turned into a protruding forehead.

Soon the cute shepherdess had been replaced by a large, decidedly not-cute swine, complete with a curly-whirly, piggly-wiggly tail.

* * *

Yoma was fast. Dangerously fast, Zoro noticed from his perch on Helena's shoulder. This close he could see how the yo-yo worked, too. Before it struck anything it would turn into an enormous, horizontal slash that could carry on for over a mile it seemed – just how long was that string? Anyway, because the yo-yo didn't remain a yo-yo, Helena couldn't block it.

She really had her work cut out for her. Or at least, at first glance, that's how it seemed.

Despite the yo-yo's power, Yoma had yet to put a scratch on her. And not for lack of effort, either. The baggy-pantsed swankster had sweat running into his eyes as he slung his yo-yo at her again and again, tearing up anything and anyone that happened to be behind her. Fortunately everyone with half a brain had cleared the area by now.

"Yo yo! You can't beat the yo-yo yo-yo fruit, yo!" Yoma called in frustration, lashing out yet again. "You may as well give up! You've got nowhere to go!"

"You think you can corner me? How idiotic can you be?" Helena replied, grinning as she turned a graceful flip over his latest attack. Every dodge brought her closer to her target. "I revel in taking down a disheveled devil of your level."

Fortunately Zoro was starting to get used to being stuck as a fox, and he'd gained back some of his own poise. He managed to stay on Helena's shoulder despite her impressive acrobatics. That meant he was close enough to see the alarm in Yoma's face when Helena finally closed the distance between them.

He tried to lash out at her with his yo-yo – this close, a hit like that would surely kill her. She was near enough that she was able to block it with Peleus before it transformed into Calypso's giant slash, though. Without missing a beat, she knifed Yoma with her sea-prism dagger.

It was actually no more than a graze; despite his ridiculously baggy pants, Captain Yoma actually managed to stumble backwards just enough to avoid a fatal slash.

Helena grinned at him over her red-stained dagger, but the grin faded as a grinding sound nabbed her attention. She looked down at Peleus to see that it still blocked Yoma's yo-yo, which continued to spin magically as though of its own volition.

"Wait, but the sea prism! That should have…!" Helena exclaimed.

Yoma recovered from the knifing enough to pull the yo-yo back into his hand. "Run into a hitch, you cocky…?" he started, but Zoro snapped at him.

Battle banter was all very well, but he wasn't going to stand for that kind of language toward his wife. He hadn't been quite close enough to sink his fangs into the jerk, but he growled at Yoma, showing all his teeth.

"I was going to say 'witch'," the captain sneered at him. "Don't be so rude, prude!" He whipped his weapon out again, only he wasn't trying to hit Helena this time. He'd aimed his yo-yo at the creature on her shoulder.

Helena gasped in surprise. She quickly turned to put Zoro out of harm's way, but lifted her sword to block the yo-yo just a split second too late. It slammed into her side, smashing her into the ground.

Zoro leapt off of her shoulder, certain that a blow like that should have killed her. She lay akimbo, face down in the dirt. Her toga was speckled in blood.

" _What were you thinking?"_ he snapped at her, " _You don't have to put yourself in danger to protect me, idiot!"_

"You think you're so smart? I'll take you apart!" Yoma goaded. He hit her again. She skidded a few feet more and didn't move.

" _BACK OFF!"_ Zoro snarled, putting himself between Yoma and Helena before he could go for a third blow. "COWARD! I'LL TEAR _YOU_ APART!"

Before Zoro could do something incredibly stupid, he heard Helena chuckle behind him.

"Zoro, Honey, you should know better than to try and take my fight," she told him, and he whipped around to see her pushing herself upright. "Just sit back and watch your woman work."

Zoro and Yoma both stared at her in shock. Not only had she managed to take a hit from Yoma's powerful yo-yo without dying, she got to her feet with her swords at the ready, practically uninjured but for a pair of minor cuts at her side.

"Don't look so shocked," she smirked to the captain. "I'm still not sure how slashing you with my dagger didn't cut off your power, devil, but you used your yo-yo to block my sword. It can only hold one attack at a time, right? I'm strong, but the move you took from me wasn't as impressive as Calypso's."

"Huh, you got pluck, but don't push your luck," he said, and nodded toward a few of his cronies. They lit a cannon they had at the ready, firing it straight at their Captain. Yoma whipped out his yo-yo, striking the cannonball midair. As the momentum of the blast disappeared into the yo-yo, the cannonball fell without detonating into the street.

"Not cool, fools. More fire this time, you know the rules!"

They fired two canons at once this time. As the two balls crashed into each other, Yoma flicked his wrist, sending his golden yo-yo spinning into the explosion.

"So he absorbs energy, not necessarily attacks," Helena murmured to herself. "He took the momentum from my sea prism mortar earlier, then used that to launch it back at me. It took him a while though. Contact with the sea prism must have delayed him. That means this has to be a devil fruit! But why didn't it work this time?"

She lifted her swords just in time to shield her face from Yoma's yo-yo. The yo-yo itself didn't hit her swords; it turned into an explosion before it would have made contact, again knocking her off of her feet.

Helena pushed herself upright, grimacing through the blood and soot on her face. Zoro knew he should probably clear the field of battle so she could focus, but then she asked him a question:

"Zoro, in all of your travels have you ever seen anything like an _object_ having a devil fruit?"

Come to think of it, he had! He gave her mental kudos for figuring it out on her own, and shot her a swift nod.

"So it's in the yo-yo," she said with a wicked grin. "Oh, but how to stab it before it turns into an explosion? I'll need to distract him somehow…"

She turned that wicked grin on Zoro. " _Oh no,"_ he growled at her, " _You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."_

He tried to scramble away, but his stupid little legs were useless next to her long, not to mention _human,_ arms. She nabbed him by the scruff of the neck before he could escape. Dodging another explosion, she rolled to her feet, then wound up for the pitch.

"Zoro, I choose you!" she called, throwing him hard through the air. Why'd she have to have such a good arm?

" _Great,"_ Zoro thought as he flew. " _Just great. You'd think being apart from Luffy would mean I'd get a break from getting launched through the air. That's twice in less than an hour! It's gotta be some kind of record…"_

Helena had impeccable timing. She'd thrown him just as Yoma made to launch his yo-yo again. While the captain dealt with a face full of fox, his yo-yo petered lamely into the ground. Helena had a perfect shot at it in yo-yo form.

She brought down her dagger hard, right through its center. It writhed almost as if it were alive, shuddering around the blade impaling it into the stone street. It started to hissed in protest like a boiler under pressure. Cracks appeared on its surface, glowing with an ocean blue light. Finally it shattered in a flurry of smoke.

"I think I killed it," Helena called triumphantly to Zoro.

"No! My yo-yo!" Yoma cried, yanking Zoro off his face. He drew back his arm, making to toss Zoro away.

" _Not again!"_ Zoro sighed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Helena said, walking slowly toward him. Her foot swords made ominous clinking sounds against the cobbles as she moved.

" _I'd listen to the woman,_ " Zoro advised.

Yoma's grip loosened, and Zoro jumped free. That meant that, undistracted now, the poor fool could clearly see his eminent doom in the form of the ticked off queen. She had not slowed her steady walk toward him.

"Mercy, Wait! Don't hate!" Yoma tried to plead.

"Why should I show mercy?" Helena asked him quietly, "You destroyed one of my villages."

"I let your weird pet go, yo!"

"He's not my pet," Helena said, raising Peleus and her dagger before her as she planted her feet. "He's my husband."

"Uh…" Yoma clearly didn't know what to make of this pronouncement. "Whatever you say! Just don't hurt me, bae!"

"Fate will decide if you survive, but I won't hold back," Helena told him darkly. "Chariot of Apollo!"

She swung her two swords to her side, launching herself forward so fast that she left fire trails in her wake. As his men looked on in horror, the Queen of Ilium smashed into Yoma, who crumpled as his sunglasses flew off of his face and straight into the air. He didn't get back up.

Helena had always struggled with finishing that particular move. She pranced past her prey, dancing on her tippy toes as she put out the fire in her sandals.

"Ow ow ow ow ow!"

For a moment the shocked marines did nothing, terrified of the woman who had taken out one of their more powerful leaders. Helena turned to look down at Zoro.

"Thanks for your help," she said, blowing him a kiss.

As if that would make up for throwing him! He crossed his arms and turned his snout up, the picture of indifference. – or at least, it _would_ have been, but at that exact moment, Yoma's sunglasses tumbled through the air to land squarely on the bridge of Zoro's long nose. Instead of looking mad he just looked…like a wannabe rap star?

Helena chuckled, then got down to his level and struck a similar gangster pose beside him. Well, she was nothing if not supportive.


	23. Chapter 23 - Helena and the Hydra

A/N: Fun story. My little 16 month old's favorite board book is the babylit Odyssey. #proudparent #raisinganerd

Fun fact: there's a Japanese hydra story, in which the hydra is defeated by being made drunk with wine. - found that out watching the new Shin Gojira movie, and couldn't resist incorporating it.

So I'm keeping that little extra Tuesday update option open up until the second to last chapter. first time I get 10 reviews = extra update.

Shorter Chapter this time. N'Joy!

* * *

Ch. 23 – Helena and the Hydra

Helena giggled. Despite Zoro's impressive beatboxing skills, he apparently had no desire to cut his own label. He shed the super cool sunglasses just as soon as they returned to battle. She'd placed him on her shoulder again, glad to have him there. He was good for keeping an eye on her six.

"Help! Oh, good Zeus, have mercy!"

Helena pushed back half a dozen marines to glance toward the person who had called for help. It was Agamemnon. The wealthy warrior had been caught in the maw of one of Regent's heads. The rest of his men weren't fairing much better against the creature.

Helena used her _Wrath of Zeus_ attack to cut him free. Appropriate, considering who he'd just called upon for mercy. Not that Zeus really cared what happened to any of them, Helena thought cynically. Of course, Regent sprouted an extra head in the process, but what was one more?

Helena caught the huge, armored man as he fell. She placed him on his feet as he spluttered out his thanks.

"Agamemnon, I don't think your men are best suited to fight this beast," Helena observed. "You should leave him to me."

"With all due respect, your Majesty, it's like there are hundreds of him to one of you," Agamemnon insisted. "You can't beat him alone."

"I can handle him until reinforcements arrive," Helena said with confidence, "Anyway, he and I have a score to settle."

"Oh…"

"…by…"

"…all…"

"…meansss!"

"Let's…"

"…sssettle…"

"…thisss…"

"…your…"

"…Majesssty!"

Agamemnon called his men back. To give them cover, Helena did her best to draw the Vice Admiral's attention to herself. She stepped forward and pointed Peleus at him threateningly:

"You've got some nerve coming back here, Regent," she shouted, "You've attacked me and my family for the last time."

"Oh…"

"…Helena…"

"…du…"

"…Cygnusss…"

"You-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou couldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't-ouldn't be-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-eemore-ore-ore-ore-ore-ore-ore-ore-ore-ore right-ight-ight-ight-ight-ight-ight-ight-ight-ight!"

Helena frowned pensively at Regent's waving sea of heads. His echo had gotten completely out of hand now, especially when the heads all spoke at the same time. They all had the same brain directing them, right? Then why were they so uncoordinated?

There was obviously some kind of split-second delay for one of his thoughts to connect from one head to the next. Perhaps she could use that to her advantage.

Regent's middle heads charged up their power as some of the side heads reached toward her like long, dexterous arms. Only these arms had teeth. Helena focused herself carefully and jumped just in time to land atop one before it could snack on her.

She made a mad dash up the adjoining neck, dodging jaws and beams of fire, ice, and noxious acid, and, would wonders never cease, lightning. Just how many powers was he storing up in those middle heads?

Her plan to get him tangled in on himself backfired when he proved more adroit than her original assessment. One of the heads took her by surprise, and though he didn't catch her in his teeth or with any of his powers, he did knock her away from him, hard.

Zoro leapt from her shoulder just in time to avoid being squashed as she rolled away. Wiping blood and dirt from a split lip, she got to her feet.

She had managed to trick Regent into biting a few of his own heads; and melting some with acid, burning them with fire or lightning, and freezing some. But it wasn't at a grand enough scale to amount to much next to the hundreds of heads he had now.

Perhaps if she could slow him down…

"Agamemnon," she said, grabbing the big man by the arm before he could retreat behind his men. "I think I have a plan. When we switched out the poisoned wine from the palace, did we store any in your mansion?"

"Aye, my Queen!" he responded. "My house has been levelled, but we stored it in the basement. I'm sure some of it survived the recent attack at least."

"Perfect, bring it to me as quickly as you can," Helena said. She looked pensively at Regent once more, "Drat. What I wouldn't give for a trebuchet."

"I have one of those in my basement too," Agamemnon said.

Zoro snorted from somewhere around her feet as Helena stared at Agamemnon in surprise. "You have a trebuchet?" she asked flatly. "In your basement?"

"What can I say? I have a lot of valuable property to protect," Agamemnon told her with a shrug.

Helena blinked at him once or twice more in shock, but decided not to waste any more time being impressed by the wealthy man's useful paranoia. "Bring it here as well," she commanded. "Here's the plan…"

* * *

With the ghost-nuisance now stumbling the halls of the palace as a drunken pig, Captain Circe turned her attention back toward finding her daughter. Bruce the Bloodhound had led her to the wrong girl yet again.

Not that Circe was complaining. He'd led her through the long hallways of the palace and straight to the Princess Kuina du Helena and her formidable nursemaids.

"Hey now, let's not get too excited here, folks," Circe said, trying to hide her discomfiture at having five intimidating weapons trained on her, not the least of which being a military grade sea prism dagger that big guy was holding. "You don't hafta worry 'bout little ol' me."

Circe dropped her revolver at the feet of the short one with the big sword. She seemed like the leader.

"You wouldn' unload on an unarmed woman and her poor dog, wouldja?"

"Mom, look at her coat. She's a Navy Captain," the big guy pointed out, shifting the sleeping Princess in his arms to put her further out of harm's way. "Queen Helena said no prisoners."

"I know, Ax," the tiny swordswoman replied. "You'd better pick up your weapon, Navy Dog. Unless you want to go out without a fight."

These Iliads sure were vicious, Circe realized. Fortunately at that precise moment, a howl echoed through the hallway, waking the Princess and drawing her nursemaids' attention behind them.

"Did we miss one?"

"He must have followed us!"

"Blasted wolves…"

It was just the distraction the captain needed.

"Wanna play a game little one?" she asked the bleary eyed Princess, who was the only one looking at her. The Princess screwed up her face to cry, apparently recognizing the woman who had tried to throw her father off a cliff.

All the same, Circe gleefully reached toward the leader, " _Duck, duck, duck,"_ she tapped each of the nurses on the head in turn as she went. _"Duck_ …" The women's cries of alarm swiftly turned to quacks, and Circe knew she didn't have to worry about them or their ridiculously oversized weapons anymore.

Only the big guy left. He looked formidable with that sea prison dagger, but there was also a lot of him, which meant she had a good chance of hitting him. Thankfully, Captain Aldolpho – Circe would know that mustache anywhere – had just come charging around the corner in wolf form, further drawing the final nursemaid's attention.

"…duck!" Circe said, smacking the big guy's bare arm. She caught the now screaming Princess as he shrunk down to join the others in their avian form. "Goose!" she said, tapping the little Princess on the head.

A moment later Circe carefully cradled a downy green gosling in her meaty hands. The ducks swarmed her in an angry whirlwind of feathers, but she soon yodeled them into a nearby broom closet.

"Well, Captain Aldolpho," Circe said, turning to her ally with a haughty grin. "Looks like I caught me a Princess. Regent's gonna promote me for sure. Thanks for your help, pard."

Aldolpho snarled at her.

"Now don't get huffy," Circe went on smugly, "You know I deserve this. I did all the work." She rubbed her cheek against the soft down of the adorable gosling, who peeped loudly, then bit her earlobe in protest.

Aldolpho raised an incredulous eyebrow as Circe flailed, trying to pull the gosling away. By the time she had pulled it free, the wolf had nabbed a bunch of loose duck feathers and shoved them into his ears.

"Now wait just a gol' darn minute…!" Circe started, but it was too late. The stronger, faster Aldolpho snatched the gosling from her hands with his red, drooling mouth.

Careful not to crush the fragile little princess, he closed his jaws around her and took off. Yodel as she may, Circe couldn't call him back, and so was forced to give chase, Bruce trailing along doggedly in her wake.

* * *

Zoro was getting sick of the sidelines. But he had to hand it to Helena, she seemed to have a handle on this one.

"Alright, Agamemnon! Let 'er rip!" Helena shouted, gesturing with her sword.

At a signal from Agamemnon, the trebuchet launched its barrels straight into the forest of hydra heads. Regent blasted a few with his various powers, but just as the Queen had hoped, he nabbed a few with his jaws.

"Again!" Helena cried, "Fire at will! As fast as you can load it!"

Agamemnon passed on her message. He and his men really had their work cut out for them. There weren't a couple of hundred of them against thousands of the navy, but they managed to keep the navy back just enough to follow Helena's orders.

It helped that Agememnon had hired some serious muscle. His people weren't any ordinary soldiers. Zoro even recognized a few from his bounty hunting days, apparently hired and assimilated into Ilium for their strength and skill. Together they fought with ten times the strength of their numbers.

It also helped that the Navy had turned most of its attention and manpower to scaling Ilium's famous walls. From the top of the walls, some of Helena's civilians, and even a few cows, were doing their best to keep the enemy down. It was only a matter of time though. What was keeping that idiot, Calypso? They needed to take Circe out _now._

Zoro glanced back at the Hydra. Agamemnon's trebuchet had launched the last of the barrels, and Regent had started to stumble, tired and drunken from the effects of the poisoned wine.

"What what what have have have you you you done done done to to to me me me?" Regent demanded. His heads tried to speak in tandem, but the echo was so pronounced now that the words overlapped each other and he was practically incoherent.

"Just gave you a taste of your own medicine!" Helena called to him sweetly.

Regent's many heads hissed at her inarticulately.

"Alright, time to try this again," Helena said. "You wanna come with me, Handsome?" She addressed this last question to the fox at her feet, holding out an arm to him. He grinned and nodded, dashing up onto her shoulder.

Helena had stashed all but Peleus to make running easier. Taking a deep breath, she dashed toward Regent and the swaying heads. All but a few of them tried to lash out at her as she went, whether by shooting fireballs or snapping at her with their jaws. Now drunk, he fought with even more ferocity than before.

But just like the delay in his speech had lengthened, so had the delay in his movements. Helena easily jumped on top of one of his heads and started to bob and sway through the onslaught of necks, beams, and snapping jaws. She guided the heads in loops around one another, knitting Regent into a giant, wriggling knot.

Zoro knew Helena was strong, skilled, and quick on her feet in her own right. But riding this close to her, he noticed something else. She was predicting Regent's movements before he acted; tapping into something deeper, sensing the rhythm of things.

She was using haki! Zoro kicked himself mentally for not having noticed it sooner. She'd used it in fighting Yoma, used it during the battle in the throne room, and even during that ridiculous sword tango with himself and Calypso. It was the observation haki he had taught her back before he had a word for it. –back when he had taught her to cut steel.

He should have realized that a talented swordsman like her would find ways to apply it elsewhere. She hadn't been idle in the years they had been apart.

Helena summited the peak of tangled necks. All but one had become trapped in the giant knot. She'd even guided the more powerful heads into the center, trapping their mouths shut so that they couldn't shoot lighting or fire or whatever.

"You've been defeated, Regent," Helena informed him, looking up at the lone head looming over her. "You would probably be better off turning back into your human form and facing defeat with some dignity. There's nothing more you can do to us like this!"

"Helena du Cygnussss…" the single-head hissed. The heads within the ball echoed him, but most were so choked that it was easy to focus on the main voice looming above.

"It's 'de Zoro'," Helena corrected, glancing at the fox on her shoulder. "When are you idiots going to acknowledge that a pirate married into the royal family of Prometheus and you guys didn't?"

"…you've over-essstimated yourssself yet again," he went on, ignoring her remark. "You think to poissson me with my own venom?"

"Your own venom, huh?" Helena stated flatly, pursing her lips. "I should have figured you'd want to poison a nation personally."

"I may be a little drunk, but I am ssstill more than enough of a match for you!"

Zoro's fur stood on end as he sensed the energy building inside of Regent. " _Helena, we've got to get out of here, now!"_ he yipped at her in alarm.

She seemed to sense what he did, but her observation haki was still untrained. She took a few steps back and turned to run, but she didn't react fast enough to fully avoid the intense beam of energy Regent's last head shot down into his own knotted flesh.

It was stronger and hotter than anything else he'd shot at them before; some kind of intense energy blast, blindingly bright. Grimacing, though the pain did nothing to deter him, he blew a small crater into the ball of necks.

Helena caught the outskirts of it. It probably would have disintegrated or melted her, but the shockwave of it threw her, hard and fast into the street.

Zoro flew from her shoulder and rolled onto the cobbles. Helena, however, did nothing to cushion her own fall. She couldn't. The blast had knocked her out cold.

Zoro dashed to her, stumbling a bit as he regained his equilibrium. " _Hey_ ," he yipped at her. " _Get up!"_

He pushed her, turning her over so that she faced upright. Her eyes were half open. She didn't respond.

Regent ambled toward them, still grimacing in pain and swaying a bit from the wine. He had managed to unknot himself though, and he'd kept most of his heads.

"Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee free free free free free…!" he echoed in drunken delight.

The necks he'd blasted off to break through the knot had been reduced to smoking, misshapen lumps speckling his stocky body. Strange. Shouldn't they be growing back?

The Vice Admiral hissed out another laugh. He still had that obnoxiously long delay, which drew it out more than necessary. He took in a deep breath through his hundreds of remaining heads, and light glowed inside all of the centermost maws. They were pointed right at Zoro and Helena.

" _C'mon,"_ Zoro urged, nudging her again for all the good it would do, " _Don't do this right now! Get up!"_

The fur all over him stood on end again, and he knew something worse than the last blast was coming. They had Regent's entire arsenal trained on them, after all. There was no time to drag Helena to safety, no time to run even if Zoro had the cowardly urge to leave her there.

Then he realized that his skin wasn't just tingling from the energy pulsating from Regent. The fox had started to glow gold. The strength rushed back into him as his bones and muscles took on their normal shape and size. In an instant he had turned back into his human self again. But in that instant, Regent had let loose his arsenal.

Zoro's swords appeared in his hands and mouth, precisely where he'd had them last. It gave him the half millisecond he needed:

"1080 Pound Phoenix!"

His attack split the onslaught of fire, ice, and what-have-you, slamming into Regent himself. The Vice Admiral had the wherewithal to use armament haki on his body, so the vertical slash didn't pierce him, but the force of it was still enough to lift his enormous girth off the ground. He fell over backward, his heads flailing.

"Roronoa Roronoa Roronoa…!" the hydra screeched. "Where where where did did did you you you come come come from from from?!"

Zoro straightened, an evil glint in his eye. "You stupid Navy worms," he informed him calmly. "Time and again you squander your chance to kill me."


	24. Chapter 24 - Black Sun: Lion of Ilium

A/N: Hercules slayed the hydra. He also slayed a lion. Zoro has a single sword draw that is "lion's song." Any move related to Helena will have some sort of sun reference. Black before an attack usually = armament haki. And that is how I named his attack in this chapter.

Also, I hope Helena's twitterpation makes you giggle. I giggled uproariously while writing it. 

* * *

Ch. 24 – Black Sun: Lion of Ilium

A few minutes prior, Circe had galloped through the halls of the palace astride Poor Bruce, who had been turned back into a horse. She still hadn't caught up with Aldolpho, but she was quickly gaining on him as she fired her revolver after him.

"Come back here, you varmint!" she screeched. "I'll mount yer head over my fireplace, you see that I don't! That's _my_ promotion you're running off with, yeh groveling mutt!"

Aldolpho obviously couldn't hear her, what with those blasted duck feathers stuck in his ears. And he couldn't respond to her taunting with his mouth full of gosling

, but he was starting to slow. Those wolf legs of his could only outrun a horse for so long.

He led her to the front of the palace, bounding down the front steps ten at a time. Heedless of the danger to Bruce's ankles, she spurred the terrified marine onward after her prey.

About halfway down Bruce tripped despite all his best efforts, bucking his rider. She flew through the air head over heels, a great meteor of fuzzy red hair, flapping white coat and curses. She landed a few seconds later in an empty topiary pot at the foot of the palace steps.

Thankfully, it was a large pot, and while she broke it, it had been full of rich, fresh soil, which softened the impact.

She pulled herself upright, spitting out compost as she went. In this unattractive state she looked up to see one of the most gorgeous men she'd ever laid eyes on.

"Well, what do you know, mon," he said. "The idiot was right. You _are_ here at the palace. I mean, ehem, there _are_ angels hanging around the palace. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Circe wasn't one to get flustered around attractive men, she reminded herself. No sir, not her. Anyway, she was a married woman, even if her city-slicker of a husband was a dunderhead.

"You look familiar," she said, scrambling to her feet and dusting herself off. "Have I seen yeh around before?"

The man flashed a gorgeous smile at her. "Maybe we met in a dream somewhere."

Circe blinked at him. "Pardon?"

"I'm sorry. Maybe that was a bit forward of me, mon," the man went on. "You seem like a pretty down to earth kind of woman. Not the type for silly romance, in any case, even if you do come tumbling from the sky."

"Oh, not at all! Every woman dreams, I mean, uh…" Circe babbled girlishly.

"It's all right," the man went on, walking casually toward her. "I find down to earth women refreshing. You always know where you stand with them, mon. But if I may be so bold, you have the most stunning eyes."

If it were a competition of stunning eyes, the man had her beat by a long shot. His cerulean gaze bored into hers for a moment as he took her calloused hand and kissed it.

"Aw, stop it. A young feller like you has got ta have better things ta do than flatter an old timer like me," she exclaimed, flushing.

"You seem distressed," he insisted, "Can I help you with something?"

"That's, uh, awful kind'a yeh, sir, I uh…" Circe shook her head quickly to try and break the spell he seemed to have put on her. "That wolf that just ran off. He pilfered somethin' important'a mine. I hafta get it ba…"

But she never finished the sentence. As she turned to point toward where Aldolpho had gone, Calypso had stabbed her in the back.

* * *

 _Well, that fool is good for something,_ Zoro thought, noticing that he wasn't the only one to have regained his human form. Helena's army had taken up their posts on the wall, and were helping to repel the invaders. Instead of pouring boiling water or tossing pots and pans and other household items at the enemy, the soldiers brought bows, spears and slings. They had a much better chance of keeping the Navy back now.

Zoro turned his focus back to his own fight. Regent still lay on his back, wriggling side to side like an upside down turtle as he struggled to lift his girth back into a standing position.

A soft groan drew his attention downward, where Helena had finally regained consciousness. "What just happened?" she asked groggily, though it was unclear who she was addressing. She leveled her gaze on Regent. "He's down! Now's my chance!"

She scrambled to her feet only to stumble seconds later. With a sword still clasped in each hand, Zoro caught her carefully as she went down.

"Watch it," he said, "It looks like you've had your bell rung pretty good there."

She let out a little squeak when she realized who had caught her, hiding her face against him.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked in a panic.

"You're not wearing your mask," she mumbled into his chest.

"Oh, shoot, did you see?" he started as she shook her head into him. Then he realized how stupid it all was, given the circumstances. "Seriously, woman!" he snapped, "Is that all you can think of at a time like this!"

She had apparently noticed the mask stuck in his belt, because she made a grab for it. Unfortunately, it caught on the knit of his haramaki. When she went to yank the ceramic mask away, she unraveled and tore the already woebegone bellyband noticeably before slapping the still yarn entangled mask onto his face without looking.

In her rush, she'd stuck it on him upside down, and hit him in his good eye. He flailed, dropping her and his swords.

She let out another little squeak when she hit the ground. "Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!" she insisted, trying to help him flip the mask the right way, which only made things worse. "I didn't mean to tear your bellyband! I can make you another one…!"

By the time Zoro had sheathed his swords and had his face back in order, Regent was hissing out a laugh. He'd managed to use some of his heads like arms, pushing himself upright by clawing into the street with his teeth.

"Aw, Zoro, you made me miss my chance!" Helena chided sincerely. "He was down for the count!"

" _I_ made _you_ miss _your_ chance?" Zoro demanded incredulously.

"Well, if you'd just remembered to put on your mask!" Helena insisted. She tried to get to her feet again, only to have to take a knee. She didn't look pleased.

"You're still a bit addled," Zoro observed, then put in under his breath, "…in more ways than one…"

"I heard that," Helena retorted, glaring at him.

Zoro placed a hand on her shoulder, his keen gaze focused on the approaching hydra. "Anyway, you've had your chance to beat him. Now it's my turn…"

"But…!" Helena started, trying again to rise, but he kept his hand firmly on her shoulder.

"I insist," he said in a quiet, stern voice. "When you get your senses back, you need to go back to the wall. With your General down, you've got an army to lead, Your Majesty."

"That's what a Lieutenant General is for," Helena told him. "Achilles has it handled."

"You made Achilles Lieutenant General?" Zoro said with a start, "When he and Hector don't get along?"

"Hector's the one who appointed him," Helena said shrugging, but then she grabbed her head with a wince.

"Alright, fine," Zoro said, frowning at her as he pulled his bandana from its place on his arm. "If I'm not done kicking Regent's scaly butt by the time you're ready to fight again, you can help me beat him. Deal?"

"Fine," Helena grumped, flopping down to sit cross-legged on the cobbles.

"Good," Zoro said, turning back to face Regent as he tied the bandana over his hair. He tossed her the split haramaki, adjusting his swords so that they stayed firmly in his belt, "Now just sit back and watch your man work."

* * *

" _Now just sit back and watch your man work,"_ Helena muttered to herself in a stupider version of Zoro's voice. Never mind that she had used that exact line on him when he was stuck as a fox earlier. She hadn't realized how condescending it sounded to someone reduced to sitting on the sidelines. " _Look at me, I'm Zoro. I'm so manly and tough with my macho, bushido attitude, and my three swords, and my…rippling…muscles…"_

She got distracted for a moment, watching him swagger up to Regent with his usual air of confidence. He hadn't needed to change after the party like she had; he'd been smart enough to wear practical clothes, after all. He had ditched his hooded jacket a while back though, and the fitted black t-shirt he had on underneath left little to the imagination. With the haramaki gone, she even caught sight of his washboard abdominals before he turned.

"Hey, Split-brain," Zoro called up at his foe while Helena dealt with a small nosebleed. "Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?"

Regent made a show of looking around for someone bigger. All his heads turned to look right, then left, swiveling far above Zoro.

"Oh…"

"…wait!" two different heads said, while a few more went on:

"General…"

"…Hector…"

"…is ssstill…"

"…down…"

"…for…"

"…the.."

"…count."

More heads spoke together in their delayed echo as together they narrowed their gaze on him: "I I I guessss guessss guessss I'll I'll I'll sssettle sssettle sssettle with with with you you you, little little little frog frog frog!"

A smirk twitched across Zoro's face. "This little frog grew up," he said, narrowing his gaze. "I now know how big the world is."

He pulled out all three of his swords, but instead of putting Wado Ichimonji in his mouth like he usually did, he clamped his teeth down on a new sword, one that Helena didn't recognize. Instead, he spun his wedding blade in his left hand; his stronger arm.

"Yontoryu," he pronounced, letting the blade gain momentum.

 _Yontoryu?_ Helena thought, _Since when has he done anything in a four-sword style?_

"Guiding Light," he continued, "Sword of the Sun Queen!"

The whirling sword moved so fast, it acted as two. The speed of its spin made it glow white as he launched himself into the swaying sea of hydra heads, cutting a clean swath right down the middle.

What was he thinking? Cutting the middle heads meant granting Regent even more powers!

Regent looked shocked, however, at Zoro's bold move. He'd left nothing but blackened neck stumps behind, and both he and Regent seemed confident that that is how they would remain.

"You made a mistake when you showed me that cauterizing your wounds would keep your heads from growing back," Zoro informed him, smirking.

"What on earth are you doing, mon?" Calypso asked Helena, suddenly standing beside her. She had been so intent on the battle she hadn't noticed his approach.

"Shut up!" she insisted, giggling and blushing as she snuggled the threadbare haramaki to her chest. She had gotten to her feet and was wiggling back and forth like a certain reindeer when he was happy. "I'm not flattered one bit that he made up a move for me too!"

"Ugh!" Calypso groaned. "You two are made for each other."

"You think so?" she giggled, still doing her happy dance. Then she seemed to realize what he'd just acknowledged, because she snapped her attention to him. "Hey, you finally admitted it!"

"What? No, mon!" Calypso cried. "I didn't mean…"

"So does this mean you'll finally leave us alone?" Helena asked, grinning. "Or more to the point, that you'll finally leave _me_ alone?"

Calypso looked genuinely angry for a moment at having been caught in his slip up. He soon regained his composure, however. "If you want a man who can fight like you, remember that machete style is a lot closer to fencing than kendo," he pointed out, winking at her.

"I never wanted a man who's the same as me," she reminded him. "I wanted one who's better."

"Then watch one at work," Calypso said, turning toward Regent and taking a step toward the battle with his hand on his swords.

Helena threw out an arm across his chest to stop him. Her discombobulation had passed, but after finally seeing Zoro's artistry on a grand scale once again, she wasn't about to interrupt him, or let Calypso do so.

"I already am," she said, gazing at Zoro with a wistful sigh.

* * *

Zoro eyed his enemy for a moment, strategizing his next move. Now that he'd gotten rid of the more troublesome of the heads, he wasn't particularly worried anymore, but how best to proceed?

"Yontoryu," he started again, "Guiding Light: Sword of the Sun Queen!"

It wasn't Zoro's most powerful move, but the heat was helpful with this particular devil fruit user. Unfortunately, Regent got wise, and allowed his powerful armament haki to spread protectively up his necks this time, bouncing Zoro back.

"Isssn't it sssweet…" One head hissed.

"…you claim ssshe…"

"…is your guiding light…"

"But, oh…"

"…you abandoned her here…"

"…didn't you?"

"And and and you'll you'll you'll abandon abandon abandon her her her again again again."

Zoro schooled his expression to remain neutral. It was obvious Regent was trying to throw him off his game. It wasn't about to work.

"You were lucky…"

"…with that move…"

"…the firssst time…"

"…pirate."

"You won't…

"…be ssso lucky…"

"…again."

Zoro's dark expression didn't change as he walked slowly toward Regent. The hydra now sort of resembled a Hawkmo – a reverse Mohawk, what with the way his long necks were now missing down the center. His outside heads circled him persistently, though, snapping at and goading him in turn.

"Do you…"

"…honessstly think…"

"…you can defeat me?"

"You and your crew…"

"…couldn't even make it…"

"…into the New World."

Though Regent kept yapping his jaws near Zoro's face, the vice admiral also kept edging away from the reticent swordsman. He never actually dared to sink his teeth in, which showed he was smarter than he looked.

In this way they circled one another as Regent went on:

"You think…

"…to keep…"

"…your lovely wife…"

"…and your sssweet daughter…"

"…from me?"

"They, who have alwaysss…"

"…rightfully been…"

"…the property…"

"…of dragonsss?" he snarled.

Zoro sheathed all of his swords, preparing himself. He let his hands trail along the hilts one at a time before they settled decisively on Shusui. As appropriate as it would be to use his wedding blade, or even the cursed kitetsu that had once tied he and Helena to a prophetic fate, he needed Shusui's strength.

"What does a Ssstraw Hat…"

"…truly value hisss family, anyway?"

"Your captain…"

"…couldn't even sssave…"

"…hisss brother."

Zoro's face darkened, the weight of Regent's verbal jabs finally showing in the downturn of the the swordsman's brow. The monster had said quite enough.

"Ittoryu; iai," Zoro pronounced calmly. Haki pulsed around his hands, darkening Shusui within its sheath. "Black Sun: Lion of Ilium."

When the hydra sensed what was coming, he covered his entire form with haki again. Strong haki. Helena had struggled so much because on top of solid dragon scales, Regent had the solid spirit of a Vice Admiral.

Zoro used the power of his draw, and performed a technique he rarely touched; a lunge. Single-handed, like a fencer, he thrust his sword forward. But unlike a fencer, he pushed extra momentum and haki into the blade with his free hand, palm jammed to the butt of the hilt.

It happened so fast, a vortex of air and energy spiraled around the blade, whipping back the circle of dragon heads around him. But he wasn't aiming for heads anymore. Zoro struck Regent dead in the center of his chest.

The scales and haki gave him some resistance, and the point of Zoro's blade pushed Regent back toward the sea. The Vice Admiral planted his feet, or tried to, his many disfigured faces snarling his discomfort.

A loud crack resounded as Regent's sternum gave way. Cracks appeared in his haki, the scales in his chest buckled, and at last the sword passed through. The intense vortex of energy finally found release through the end of Zoro's blade, wreaking havoc on Regent's insides and pulsating out into the harbor.

It was so strong it shattered the woven platform of wood and ice, releasing all of the Navy's ships. The water in the bay started to recede, pulling the fleet away from Ilium's shore.

Zoro reined in his haki enough to sheath the blade, allowing Regent to fall backwards into the ebbing ocean with a resounding splash.

"Hey, Baby-Snatcher," he said to the motionless form as it sank. "Shut your damn mouths."


	25. Chapter 25 - Eleleu!

A/N: Warning, blatant flirting ahead.

And Zoro participates! I didn't think it was possible. He and Helena's relationship isn't doomed after all. (Or maybe I'm just being a little self-indulgent. Let me know if it's too much).

Happy Christmas, all!

* * *

Ch. 25 – Eleleu!

Zoro turned to find Helena lying in a dead faint in Calypso's arms. He dashed to her, shoving Calypso away so he could take her himself.

"What happened to her?" he demanded. Last he'd looked, she'd been on the mend. Maybe Regent had hit her harder than he realized.

"You did, mon," Calypso said, unamused.

"Huh?" Zoro asked. "Wait, is her nose bleeding. Was she hit?" He ran through scenarios. He had been keenly aware of her presence throughout the battle. His attack hadn't sent any shockwaves backward, how could he have hit her?

Helena answered him herself, her eyes fluttering open, though they clearly saw nothing. "He did a fencing move, and he named it after Ilium!" Helena spluttered, completely star struck as she snuggled the ruined haramaki to her chest in delight, "Hee hee hee, and look how strong he's gotten!"

Zoro blinked at her, taken aback.

"And she's not the only one, mon," Calypso went on, jabbing his thumb at Agamemnon's men. They'd all passed out as well.

"He named a move after our country!" they babbled together. "He's so cool!"

"You've got to be kidding me…" Zoro spluttered.

"…and he caused a tidal wave," Helena went on dazedly. "He's even stronger than Calypso. I didn't know swordsmanship could look like that!"

"She hasn't seen the best I can do," Calypso felt the need to point out, stiffening.

"Me neither, short-stuff," Zoro goaded, glaring at him. "Wait, did she just say tidal wave?"

"That's right," Calypso said, gazing out at the incoming wall of water with an unamused quirk to his brow. "As strong as you _think_ you are, mon, I doubt you can carry all of Helena's people over the wall in the next, oh, twenty seconds. So why don't you take care of your queenie, while I kick back your little Tsunami."

Zoro dropped Helena at Calypso's goading. Fortunately she was still dead to the world, and didn't seem to notice the bump.

"Back off!" Zoro insisted, swords raised.

Calypso had already taken off running. "You've caused enough trouble, mon!"

" _I've_ caused enough trouble!" Zoro demanded, running after him. "Weren't you the one who gave the enemy an attack big enough to level Mycenae?"

"I'm strong enough to level a small town, mon I'm strong enough to level your stupid wave."

Zoro and Calypso sprinted straight toward the wave, running neck and neck as they continued shouting insults and challenges at each other. Never mind that the Navy had all started to make a mad dash toward the walls, trampling one another in their effort to get away.

It wasn't anywhere near as large as Aqua Laguna, Zoro noted with some relief as he ran. While it was sizeable, it wouldn't reach over the walls.

Correction; it wouldn't reach the walls because Zoro would stop it before then. It was really too bad some of Helena's people were stuck on this side. The wave could have wiped out the Navy in one fell swoop.

The swordsmen both reached a good vantage point at the same time and leapt into the air, drawing all of their blades.

"Santoryu," Zoro started, "1080 pound…"

"Sinatra!" Calypso finished.

"Huh?" they both cried together. "That sounds so stupid!"

The attacks smashed into the wall of water. But because they were both a little distracted, their moves weren't as powerful as they generally expected. Instead of pushing back the wave, they shattered it. Water exploded into the sky above what remained of Mycanae, then turned into a great, salty downpour.

Everyone got soaked, but no one was pulled out to sea. Neither Zoro or Calypso seemed to notice or care.

"You ruined my move!" Zoro accused.

"No, _you_ ruined _mine!"_ Calypso retorted. "What kind of idiot attack name was that, mon?"

"You're the one who made it into a fat person!"

This argument continued for another minute or so, and most assuredly would have come to blows, but a certain Queen appeared beside them, lacing an arm through each of theirs.

"Boys, boys," Helena cut in. The drenching seemed to have done her some good. Leastways she had come to her senses. She had knotted some of the loose strings from the haramaki, and used them to tie it around her waist. "You both did a lovely job. But _you,"_ she released Calypso and sidled up to Zoro, just close enough that he could feel a sudden flush rushing through his body. "…and I are going to spend some time alone together when all this is done. Got it?"

She leaned in close to his face, but their lips didn't quite touch. "Um, yes ma'am," Zoro replied. He could sense a nose bleed of his own coming on, but a ringing transponder snail caught her attention, and she turned away to answer it.

"Queen Helena, this is Andromache with the nursemaid unit, do you copy?"

Andromache's voice came through sort of strained, like she were struggling against a heavy weight.

"I copy, Ann. Are you alright?" Helena replied.

"Um, I'm kind of stuck in a broom closet with all the other nursemaids…"

"Including Ax?" Helena asked in understanding.

"Including Ax," Andromache said, "But never mind that now. We'll figure it out. Helena, I called to report another code green…"

* * *

 _Puru puru puru puru…._

Hector awoke to the sound of his own transponder ringing. He was having a hard time moving his limbs though.

"Oh, do you want me to answer that for you?"

He recognized the voice even before her face came into focus. It was the famous artisan, Raqueline du Agamemnon.

"Does your father know you're on the battlefield?" he asked.

The girl twitched involuntarily. It was well known that the artisan girl didn't handle fighting or life-or-death situations well. She had once tried to torpedo her own family's mines to keep them from falling into enemy hands.

"Me, on the battlefield?" she asked, snorting. "No, Daddy's men moved you back behind the wall so I could treat you. There's no one better to remove sea prism porcelain shrapnel than myself." She adjusted her glasses, which had several attached magnifying lenses like a phoropter

Hector took in his surroundings for the first time, realizing he was lying on a cot in the street just inside the walls. His men were no longer cows, and had started to organize themselves under Lieutenant General Achilles for a charge through the city's main gates.

 _Puru puru puru puru…_

"Go ahead and answer it," Hector said. Raqueline's stone-coated fingers made a clacking sound as they depressed a button on the snail's shell before she quickly returned to her work.

As the message came through, she placed her hand over the last of General Hector's lacerations; a large shatter wound in his shoulder. Putting her pebble pebble power into effect, she pulled at the stone and minerals in the sea prism porcelain, removing the last of the shrapnel.

Hector hardly felt it. As General, he had a special snail that could pick up on the messages from any of the other units, and he'd just heard a message from his wife to Queen Helena.

"…I called to report a code green. The Marines have the Princess!"

Rage surged back into Hector as the sea prism's power released him, but his devil fruit powers were slow to follow. Helplessly he watched his men charge through the gates, furious that he was still too weak to join them.

* * *

Coby and half his men had been among those who had barely made it to the stonework of the harbor before Regent had frozen the water. The other half ended up frozen to their ankles or knees. Using their bayonets and the butts of their rifles, Coby and his free marines tried to crack the ice and free their comrades with minor success.

Zoro's Lion of Ilium attack finally broke the rest of them free. Much mayhem and a drenching later, Coby stood miserably with the rest of the Navy, a transponder snail in hand as he communicated with the other captains. Thankfully the recent dowsing had put a temporary stop to the fighting and gave everyone a chance to think.

"The Vice Admiral's down, what are our orders?" a voice barked through the snail.

"Has anyone heard from his second in command?"

"Circe? She's been taken down as well. The rest of his crew all got taken out when he first started burning ships, so no third either."

"Any word from HQ?"

"We've lost contact."

"Lost contact, suuuure," Helmeppo said from beside his captain. He didn't have a transponder of his own, but he'd been listening in on Coby's with interest.

Coby sighed. "This whole attack has been pointless from the start," he muttered to Helmeppo. "We were just pawns in all this, but now that Regent's down, we're the ones who are going to take the fall."

Coby lifted the receiver to his mouth.

"I suggest we fall back to avoid any more casualties," he said. "Without Regent, we're grossly underpowered. Especially with Roronoa Zoro here. Let's raise the white flag…"

"Are you kidding? And make all of this for nothing?"

"We don't need Regent to lead us. Our original strategy still stands."

"What original strategy?" Coby grumbled while Helmeppo shrugged.

The main gate to the city swung open, and Ilium's complete army, fully armored, dry, and angry, came barreling toward the remaining marines. They held their outdated and very sharp weapons at the ready as they charged, shouting out the Iliad warcry:

"Eleleu!"

They sounded like a flock of angry birds. Really, really angry birds. As Coby and his men were still close to the water, they weren't on the front lines. Those who were quickly made their thoughts known:

"Our guns aren't working!"

"All the powder's soaked. Of course they aren't working you dolt!"

"Who was it who suggested running up the white flag?"

"We are so dead!"

"Oh, for the love of…" Coby sighed, ripping off his captain's coat.

He vaulted up onto Helmeppo's shoulders and started waving the coat around. Following his lead, a few marines ripped off their soaked shirts and waved them above their heads. Eventually a few more captains caught on.

Finally the charging Iliads saw it and slowed their pace, letting out a cheer of victory.

Coby sighed with relief. It looked like the nightmare was over.

At least, that's what he thought until he saw the Queen march up to the front of her army, anger radiating from every inch of her, flanked by Zoro and Calypso.

The Queen's General suddenly launched himself over the wall; a furious ball of wood that became humanoid as it landed with a crash at Helena's side. He and her majesty made a brief exchange, then he suddenly swooped her upward in a tower of branches so she could loom threateningly over the surrendering marines and her own army.

General Hector created a large megaphone of branches for her, and though she spoke to her own army, everyone heard her:

"Men and Women of Ilium," she called. Haki pulsed from her voice, enforcing every word she spoke with power. "For too long we have been trodden under the foot of the World Government. Every time they have spoken of peace, it has been with plans already laid to break that peace. Heed the command of your Queen: we take no prisoners today. We accept no surrender. We will make an example of those who would dare invade our lands! Destroy them all."

* * *

"Wow, seems pretty harsh, mon," Calypso observed to Zoro.

They stood side by side, watching Helena as she gave her speech. Her people let out a guttural roar to show their approval, pounding their weapons on their shields.

"I don't think so," Zoro replied, both hands on the hilts of his katana. "Those bastards messed with our family for the last time."

"Daughter of Zeus!" Helena's men cheered as she vaulted from her roost, Peleus in hand. It was a long way down, but thanks to her years of training, she landed unhurt. "Light-Bringer! Sun Queen! Guide us to victory!"

"Words are potent in debate, but deeds in war decide your fate!" she cried, "Onward men! For our country 'tis bliss to die! Eleleu!"

She charged toward the Marines ahead of her men, momentarily a lone figure in the no-man's land between the two armies. Her husband soon joined her, two swords already in hand, as Hector and the rest trailed not fair behind, their own indignance speeding their charge.

* * *

The waiting marines fought to quell their panic, the front lines raising their bayonets for all the good it would do them.

Guns weren't their only option. The marines also had a few devil fruit users, but they were useless after the recent drenching. Even without it, they had the Sea Prism unit with its sea prism armor and weapons to worry about. Not to mention it seemed like just about every Iliad soldier carried sea prism daggers like the Queen.

Thankfully a good fifty percent of the marines had sabers and katanas as well as their rifles, and a few like Coby were adept at hand to hand and haki. These pushed their way to the front, taking the brunt of the Iliad charge.

The two armies clashed, the fear of the marines matching the anger of the Iliads as it pulsed off of them in palpable waves. Coby fought back the nausea as he sensed the lives of his comrades snuffing out. He jumped down from Helmeppo's shoulders, throwing on his coat as he went.

"We're in for it now," he said. "I regret bringing the crew here."

"They understand, Captain-San. It was a direct order," Helmeppo replied. "You didn't have much choice."

"All the same," Coby said, tossing him the transponder snail. "Get in touch with the men we left on board our ships. See how many we have and if they can bring them around. We need a method of retreat."

"But that big tree guy is back in action!" Helmeppo pointed out. "He'll sink us for sure!"

"I'll keep him busy," Coby said. "Let the other captains know so they can be ready to make a break for it."

"Aye, Captain."

Coby turned and dashed into the battle, dodging through the men on his own side as he made his way to the front. He didn't make much progress until, taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to delve deep into his observation haki. The hyper-awareness made him retch as he sensed what only the most adept haki users could –pain, fear, anguish, and despair so raw and real they felt as though they were all his own.

Fortunately he was used to it by now. Well, could one ever really become used to such a thing? Leastways, he knew how to sift through the over-abundance of feeling and use it to his advantage. He could predict where people and their weapons would be long before they moved. Using shave, he rocketed through the path he foresaw, intent on reaching General Hector before anyone noticed the returning ships.

Another Haki-user intercepted him, and he blackened his fist in time to block a katana with it. His eyes met Zoro's, and recognition passed simultaneously over both their faces.

"Coby." Zoro said it quietly, and the two momentarily lowered their preferred weapons.

"Zoro," Coby replied with equal calm. "I'm really sorry it came to this. I thought by warning you, I could stop it."

"I know," Zoro replied.

"We're enemies now," Coby went on.

"Always were," Zoro reminded him, raising his swords. Coby smirked despite himself. "Let's see how strong you've become, marine."

Coby shook his head. "Not strong enough to take you on, pirate," he replied, raising his fists all the same. "I saw what you did to the Vice-Admiral."

As Zoro made to attack, Coby used his haki-blackened fists to push through the blades. Thankfully, Zoro hadn't tapped into his own armament haki again, or Coby knew his fists would have been torn to bits.

He wasn't about to hang around long enough for Zoro to figure that out. He tapped back into his observation haki, the one skill in his repertoire that he knew with confidence surpassed Zoro's. Using it, he managed to dodge away and ultimately escape, disappearing into the tangle of battle-locked combatants.

"Sorry, Zoro," he murmured under his breath. "I've got something more important to do!"

* * *

"Zoro, who were you talking to?" Helena asked.

Their initial charge had plunged them right into the center of the enemy's lines, cutting them off from the rest of the Iliad army. They weren't worried though. Back to back they had soon settled into a comfortable fighting rhythm.

When Zoro didn't answer, Helena glanced back at him, and a different question soon popped out of her. "What in Hades happened to your shirt?"

"It was wet! And slowing me down," he replied unapologetically.

"So are the rest of your clothes, but I don't see you taking them off!" she pointed out, slicing down a few sabers pointed her way.

"I do have some sense of dignity!" Zoro retorted, slashing through a few sabers of his own. "Why? What's the problem?"

"It's…it's…" Helena looked at him and swiftly looked away, "Distracting! How am I supposed to concentrate?"

"Ha!" Zoro guffawed, "As if you can talk!"

Helena couldn't answer for a moment. She turned a graceful flip, taking down a marine archer before he could cause them problems from a distance. "What are you talking about?" she demanded.

"Oh, look at me, I'm the Queen!" Zoro taunted in a high pitched voice, "I'm riding into battle, but do I put on my armor or my military uniform? No! My husband's home. I'm going to wear a chiton, 'cause I know he likes it."

"YOU NOTICED?" Helena shrieked in delight. She and Zoro were no longer standing back to back, and she took down a few marines that stood between them as she spoke. "I mean, ehem, the uniform had too many buttons and we were in a hurry."

"Yeah, uh huh, sure," he replied, turning to her. He caught sight of the split haramaki still tied about her waist, further marking her as his. "Stop being so damn sexy, woman. We're in the middle of a war, here!"

"Who, me?" Helena asked. One of her sleeves had been torn off in the fight, and she winked at him over her bare shoulder as she swirled around to dispatch a few more marines.

She ended the spin surprised to find herself face to face with her husband, who smirked at her as though there was something on his mind.

"It's been a long couple of years, eh?" he asked, not looking away as he jabbed a marine running at them from the side.

"Too long," Helena agreed close to his mouth as she stabbed someone behind Zoro.

"HEY! WE'RE STILL HERE YOU KNOW!" the rest of the flouted marines shouted in unison.

Helena and Zoro raised a brow at one another before turning to grin evilly at the interruption. "That IS a problem," Zoro observed.

"I couldn't agree more, my Love," Helena replied.

"Seven Sword Titan!"

"Selene…"

"Twister!"

As Helena leapt up onto his shoulders, Zoro turned with all three swords in a spiral, launching her straight upward with his Dragon Twister while she used her Arrows of Artemis attack to rain slashes down on the marines from above. With her foot swords crossed beneath her, she kept herself safe from Zoro's spiraling attacks below.

Eventually she uncrossed her foot swords, and used her arm blades to increase her rotation speed. This shot her up even higher as she pushed her own energy and foot slashes into the twister. Still standing within the eye of the storm, Zoro raised his own swords to block her energy, deflecting it outward.

The resulting cyclone caught a few hundred marines in its walls, slashing and throwing them outward with hurricane level winds.

As it spun itself out, Helena fell into Zoro's waiting arms, both of them careful not to skewer one another with their many swords.

"So…what were you about to say?" Zoro asked. "Before we were so rudely interrupted?"

"I wasn't about to _say_ anything," Helena retorted, kissing him.

* * *

"Ugh," Calypso groaned from his own plot of the battlefield. "Those two are the strangest couple I've ever seen, mon."

"You have no idea," Hector replied, rolling his eyes. "It's good to see them getting along again, though. Nothing like a good battle to rekindle the old romance, eh? Makes me wish Andromache were out here."

Calypso's lip twitched. It was becoming more and more apparent that he'd lost this little love game, especially now that Hector and the rest of Helena's people seemed to have forgiven Zoro. Not just forgiven him, some of them were downright infatuated with the pirate after seeing him dispatch Regent.

"It's too bad he won't stay for long," Hector went on. "It's been a long time since I've seen her smile like that."

This did make Calypso hopeful again. Time was a virtue he had over Zoro. He had already invested a good deal of it into this op; what was a little more?

In the meantime he needed to firmly establish himself as Ilium's ally. And so he carefully bit back his anger, choosing to channel it instead into his machetes as he slaughtered his own comrades. None the wiser, Hector fought alongside him, tentacles of wood shooting into the fray.

Calypso kept himself tuned into his haki as he fought. In this way he saw something much sooner than Hector did:

"The ships out in the bay," he said. "They're coming closer, mon. The Marines are going to try to retreat."

"By order of the Queen, I can't let that happen," Hector said, "Cover me."

Calypso nodded but then sensed someone coming at them impossibly fast. He turned just a little too slowly to stop him. Perhaps if the attacker had been coming at him directly, he'd have reacted faster, but Calypso wasn't the main target; Hector was.

Prince Cobalt, or rather, Captain Coby of the marines slammed his blackened fist into the wood man's gut. The General had formed another makeshift ironwood breastplate after the first had been destroyed by the sea prism mortar earlier, but it shattered around the marine's fist. Calypso saw blood fly from the General's mouth as he and Coby flew back several dozen yards with the momentum of the marine's arrival.

Bodies locked in combat filled the space between them before Calypso could come to Hector's aid. It looked like the General was on his own for now.

* * *

Helena and Zoro weren't as distracted as they appeared. Zoro saw the ships coming closer to the broken port just as Helena saw her General go down.

"Hector!" she cried, jumping out of Zoro's arms.

"What's wrong?" Zoro asked. They still had a circle cleared around them, so they didn't have to worry about a fight as they took to running. "This is Hector we're talking about. He can take care of himself, right?"

"Whoever just hit him made him bleed," Helena replied. "Hector doesn't bleed unless he's hit with sea prism."

"Or haki," Zoro added, but before Helena could ask him to expound, he went on: "We need to free him up to fight. The ships are coming back!"

"Can't you and Calypso sink the ships? I mean, you do kind of cause Tsunamis."

"You wanna deal with another Tsunami?" Zoro asked.

"If it comes to that, yes," Helena said, "But you're right. Hector's method is a lot more elegant. Anyway, I'm not letting whoever that is take out my General. Come on!"

* * *

Coby had been lucky to land the first hit. Sure he'd got him hard enough to make the devil bleed, but Hector wasn't a General for nothing. He caught Coby in a swirling cocoon of branches, trapping his arms at his sides.

"You've got some nerve, marine," he growled through the dribble of blood in his teeth. The roots tightened, cracking his ribs.

Coby wriggled one of his arms free in the nick of time, punching the cocoon around him hard enough to make it splinter. He hit the ground and rolled away just in time to avoid getting crushed by Hectors massive arms, which had turned into even more massive branches.

"You're the ones with some nerve," Coby observed, using shave to dodge around the general again. "We raise the white flag of surrender and you slaughter us. You have no respect for the rules of war."

Hector let out a hearty guffaw. "As if you or your government care one berry for the rules of war!" A tendril caught Coby around the leg, lifting him upside-down into the air so that he was face to face with the enormous man.

"You attack us without an official declaration of war!" Hector went on, slamming Coby into the cobbles before lifting him to face him again. "You try to assassinate our Queen!" he slammed him down again. "You beasts try to kidnap our infant Princess and wed her to your world nobles!" He slammed him down several more times before lifting him again. "And that is all just in the course of one evening! You would do anything to grind us under your heel, Navy Dog! We are done taking your abuse!"

He dropped the dazed and bloodied marine, lifting his spear to stab him through. Shattered though he was, Coby managed to catch the spear before it could reach his person. His arms shook with the exertion of holding it at bay as he spoke:

"We are soldiers," he said through gritted teeth, arms straining for his life. "We follow orders. You of all people should understand how that works, General."

Breathing haki into his arms, Coby's fists blackened and he broke the wooden spear off at the tip. Hector easily grew it back, but it gave the marine just enough time to dodge away before it punctured the cobbles.

"My men aren't responsible for the poor decisions of their leaders," Coby went on. "Execute me and the rest of our captains if you must, but for heaven's sake, let the men go!"

Hector paused, momentarily taken aback.

"I and others like me joined the marines with the hopes of making the world a safer place," Coby confessed to him passionately. "Many of those men out there are just starting to learn of the corruption of their heroes. Many more are working hard to eradicate it. Please, if you want to see the world change, perhaps the world could use a little more mercy."

Hector's arms returned to normal, and he shrank back to his more human, albeit still intimidating size, clutching his spear in two hands. He eyed Coby up and down, momentarily at a loss for words.

"I've never known a marine like you, Captain," he said at last. "What's your name?"

"There are many more like me," the marine insisted. "And it's Coby."

Hector nodded, but then he lifted his spear, crouching at the ready to resume combat. "I'm afraid that the decision is not up to me, Captain Coby-San," he said. "Just as you must follow the command of your Vice-Admiral, I must follow the command of my Queen."

Coby nodded sadly, raising his own fists and coating them in haki. Why did he keep meeting enemies he'd rather have as friends? The world sure was a complicated place.

Before he and the General could start fighting once again, something caught Coby's attention; a small presence, frightened and young. He recognized the aura almost immediately, and held up a hand to the General, hoping the man would be honorable enough not to attack him as he closed his eyes and honed his haki in to be sure.

"The Princess…" he murmured. "What's she doing all the way out here?"

Without pausing to think, he launched himself toward the girl's aura. Opening his eyes he saw her, a tiny girl with Zoro's green hair, thrown over the shoulder of a mustachioed Navy Captain. Her screams were lost in the sound of combat.

Her kidnapper had just arrived at the edge of the port, and as luck would have it, found one of the few fishing boats that had miraculously remained intact. Just as he lowered his prize over the side of the little vessel, Coby rammed into him, knocking him flat.

"What the HELL are you doing, Marine?" Coby raged from over him.

"What-a does it look like, idiota?" the man asked, twitching his mustache. "That bambina is-a the Princess-a!"

"She is a CHILD," Coby insisted, anger making him shake.

"A child that Regent wants-a!" the captain reminded him. "You're just trying to steal-a my promotion-a!"

"Regent's dead," Coby informed him flatly, and then punched him across the face, knocking him out cold. "It's marines like you that give the rest of us a bad name," he murmured.

He turned to the still wailing Princess, lifting her out of the boat as gently as he could.

"Want P-p-papa!" she stuttered. "You s-s-scary!"

"Sorry, my face is pretty beat up. I promise I don't always look like this," Coby said, smiling wryly. "But I know your Papa. You wanna see if we can find him?"

The Princess stopped struggling and nodded at him. She looked so much like Zoro with her grim expression, Coby couldn't help but marvel. Pirate-Hunter Zoro was one of the last people he'd ever imagine having a family, least of all an adorable little toddler. It made him wonder what Zoro looked like as a kid. Surely not this cute!

He turned to find not only Hector, but Zoro and Helena staring at him with slack jaws. They had apparently witnessed the whole exchange. Coby turned Kuina, pointing so she could see them as they started running toward her.

"PAPA!" she screamed reaching out her arms. "MAMA! UNCLE HECKY!"

"Uncle Hecky?" Coby murmured under his breath in amusement. "Does she mean the General?"

When her family had come close enough for safety, Coby gently set the Princess on her feet so she could toddle the rest of the way over to them. Her mother fell to her knees and scooped the little girl into a fierce embrace. Zoro placed a hand on his wife's shoulder and gave Coby a grateful sort of nod.

"I don't understand, marine," Helena said, glaring up at him. "Why…?"

"Queen Helena," Coby said, bowing all the way to his knees before her. "This was the least I could do for you and Zoro. If it weren't for me, Regent never would have known about her existence in the first place. Unfortunately, I had no idea what I had stumbled upon until I had talked to you, but by then it was too late. I had already made my report."

"So that's what you were trying to warn me about," Helena said, standing with her daughter in her arms. She kept her mouth set in a hard line and her brows furrowed, either angry or deep in thought or both.

"Yes," Coby said simply to the ground.

"Your Majesty, this marine sought me out at risk of his life to ask that we cease the bloodshed," Hector put in quietly.

"Please," Coby begged, looking up at her. "Those who truly sought to harm you and yours are now slain. These men have families. YOUR men have families. For the love of whatever gods you hold dear, let this madness end."

Helena eyed him pensively. Coby could see the conflict in her face as she weighed what he was saying with the history of cruelty the World Government had heaped on her kingdom.

"Majesty, I believe we should listen to him," Hector advised. "At the very least his own actions prove that there are decent men on the other side of this battlefront. Men who don't deserve to die for being obedient soldiers."

Helena turned her gaze from Hector back to Coby. Her eyes held no sympathy. "Every time we show your people mercy, we end up paying for it with our lives and our dignity," she said with quiet vehemence. "An example must be made."

"Your father made an example by wearing the Mask of Zeus twenty-one years ago," Hector pointed out. "It didn't stop them from attacking again."

"Vengeance begets vengeance," Zoro agreed quietly.

Helena looked from one man to the other, at last letting her gaze fall upon Coby.

"Can you promise me that this madness really _will_ end if I stop the bloodshed?"

Coby felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. His mouth went dry. But when he answered, he spoke the truth:

"I cannot," he said, voice trembling, then babbled on, "Your Majesty, I can promise our men will leave you alone tonight, but I don't know what the future holds. I only know this: that I am as confused and enraged by this attack as you are. I can honestly say as a Navy Inspector that Regent should have been court martialed for his actions here tonight had he survived. But with the backing and protection of the Fleet Admiral, I doubt it would have happened. Even now, HQ has cut contact with us in hopes we will take the fall, perhaps so they can say that Regent and all those under them acted on their own, I…"

Helena held up her hand to silence him. "If you had tried to promise me it would end, I would have known you were lying," she said. "Your honesty is refreshing, Captain Coby. I hope for all our sakes that the marines possess many more men like you."

She turned to her General. "We will call off the battle and allow the marines to retreat," she said. "Help their boats to shore so they can board and be on their way safely."

"Aye, my Queen," Hector said, a look of relief spreading across his face.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Coby gushed, only to stop short when he caught sight of the anger still present in the Queen's face.

"You have until sunrise," she went on coldly. "After that, any marine or world government official found here will be executed on sight. Do you understand?"

"I-I…understand," Coby said, getting to his feet. "Again, thank you for showing mercy.

Hector planted his spear into the ground, putting down roots so he could shoot above the crowd and draw the attention of the battling armies for the announcement. Before he could take her up too, Helena handed Kuina to her father. The Princess had fallen asleep.

"You are a brave man," she said to Coby, her expression softening incrementally at last. "I am not the first despot you have stood up to in hopes of stopping bloodshed."

"You are no despot," Coby replied softly.

Helena responded with a wry smile; clearly she disagreed. For a woman who loved her people so much, it was strange that she saw herself in that light.

Then she disappeared, flying upward in a flurry of leaves and branches to make the announcement. The battle would finally end.


	26. Chapter 26 - The Mask of Zeus

Ch. 26 – The Mask of Zeus

From atop the wall of Ilium, King Cygnus listened as his daughter made her announcement.

"My people, heed the words of your Queen!" she cried when Hector had finally managed to get everyone's attention. "Cease the work of death among these heathens! I am inclined to show mercy for sake of Captain Coby, who fought his own to return our Princess to us. You have him to thank for your lives, Navy scum! But know this! You and the officials of your government will be treated as wanted criminals from here on out. You have until the sun clears the horizon. Any of you caught dawdling will be executed with a swift and terrible vengeance."

"Hmph, what a waffler she is," grumbled a 9-foot tall, grumpy faced, silver-haired woman from Cygnus' side. She had a young face and voice, but her attitude was that of one who had lived far past her time. "It's a wonder she keeps the people on her side at all. She changes her mind with the winds."

Cygnus sighed, but decided not to engage the Sybil in an argument. It wasn't worth poking the bear. "Well, it would appear I won't be needing this," he said of the mask he held at his side.

"No, you won't," the Sybil snapped. "You're an idiot."

"I may be many things, but an idiot I am not," Cygnus replied with a wry chuckle. "Go back to your churros, witch. Your services will not be required."

"Humph, as if there are any churros left," the Sybil sniffed, wiggling her bulbous nose. "The Festival has been completely ruined by this little escapade. Dionysus is not going to be happy."

"Oh, I'm sure we can figure out how to extend the festivities some," Cygnus said with a grin. "After all, one wouldn't want to upset a god."

"Your heretic queen doesn't seem care about that sort of thing," the Sybil pointed out with little delicacy. "Again, it's a wonder her people support her at all. She nothing but trouble."

"Well, you're not wrong," Cygnus said, shrugging. "But if you ask me, it seems she's not the one bringing all of the trouble. She's just the first in a long time who is willing to face it head on. She is merely answering for the shillyshallying of all Ilium's rulers before her."

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah," the Sybil whined. "Mark my words, Philosopher King; your daughter will be the downfall of Ilium if she doesn't get her act together."

"Is that supposed to be a prophecy? Or are you just prattling on with your usual insults?" Cygnus asked, trying not to be alarmed. But when he looked the Sybil had gone.

The retired king let out a sigh only to suck it back in again, startled. His eye had just caught sight of a speckling of lights on the horizon. It was another fleet, and a big one by the looks of it.

"Who on earth?" he muttered, "Don't tell me Navy HQ is sending reinforcements now of all times.

He had a telescope in hand, which he had mostly been using to spy on the battle. He brought it to his eye, gazing out over the harbor.

Dawn had just started to show her rosy fingers over the horizon. The marines didn't have long to high tail it out of there, but more to the point, the light helped Cygnus make out a few of the flags flying from the incoming masts.

"You have got to be kidding me," he groaned.

* * *

"What in Hades?!" Helena cursed, narrowing her eyes at the incoming ships. "That had better not be what I think it is."

She had descended from her perch in Hector's latest tree platform, and eyed the horizon with displeasure.

"We didn't call for reinforcements," Coby insisted.

"Are you sure about that?" Helena asked, turning to him with an unamused expression on her face. "By their flagships, I'd say _somebody_ called them."

"Who is it?" Zoro asked with interest.

"Those would be the fathers of the Princes you sliced up, dearest," Helena said, smiling sweetly at him, though her tone dripped with ill-humor.

"Hey, you helped," Zoro pointed out.

Helena scowled at him, no longer in a flirtatious mood. "Someone must have tipped them off," she snapped.

"Regent," she, Coby, and Zoro agreed.

"So now they know their sons are dead, and they've shown up with an army to avenge them," Helena went on. "Just peachy. What are your men going to do now, Coby? If the fighting is about to start up again right after I told everyone to stop, I swear to the gods I'll…"

Before she could go on, her father's voice boomed from atop the wall. His face did too. He'd set up a video transponder snail as well as an audio one, apparently.

"You've got some nerve showing up here, you cockered half-faced poltroons," he snarled, "Your sons are dead, I will confess; slaughtered, even, in my hall. It may surprise you to know that they wasted these two years courting a married woman."

He looked all the more fierce with the wicked scratch mark on his face. He hadn't had time to clean the wound, which made it all the gnarlier. Helena didn't dwell on it though; not in light of what Cygnus had to say:

"Yes, her husband has returned, and reeked vengeance on your miscreant brood, but you should be thanking him. Had they lived to carry out their murderous plot on Queen Helena's life, I would not have hesitated to summon the powers of our gods to turn every last one of your countries to ash.

"In fact, I have called upon those powers now. Your ships will never reach our port, so help me Zeus…!"

He lifted a large mask into view, and Helena gasped.

"No, Father! What have you done! That's…"

"…the Mask of Zeus," Zoro observed with her. "Helena, if he has that mask that means…"

"…a thousand of our most loyal men," she murmured. "Hector…"

The General had just anchored the Navy's ships into port as she had asked. He turned to her, but did not appear worried. "I have always been prepared to die for the crown, Your Majesty. I am not afraid."

"But we can drive them off without the gods help!" Helena insisted.

"Not without ruining your image," Hector pointed out. "You've changed your mind once already, Majesty. If we start fighting the marines again, you'll seem weak and indecisive. Even more after your last big escapade shutting off and reopening the temples. Your Father is making the right choice."

"NO!" Helena cried. "I won't have you or Ann or Paris or Achilles, or ANY of you sacrificed in this way! And I won't have Father returned to being a cripple, either! Zoro, can you stop the ships?"

Zoro looked out at the ocean with a calculating gaze. "Probably," he said, then added begrudgingly: "With that short idiot's help I could probably do it fast enough to keep your Father from being rash. We'll end up sinking the Navy too, though."

Coby's face turned white beneath the blood and bruises. "No, please! Not after everything we just…"

"Relax, Coby," Zoro said, "I don't think it's going to come to that. Look." He shifted Kuina in his arms so he could point out to the ships. They had started to turn around.

Helena wasn't mollified. "He's not putting the mask down," she said in a harried voice.

"Huh, you're right," Zoro agreed. "If that's the case, then I suggest you better run, Coby."

"What? Why is that?"

"Because dawn is practically here, and that mask can selectively rain lightning down from the heavens," Hector replied. "He took out ten battleships on buster call with it before, no sweat. Your men would be easy pickings."

Coby's eyes bulged and he took off running. As they watched, he started hurrying the rest of the Navy onboard the anchored ships, organizing the other captains as he went.

"He's not boarding any of the ships himself," Hector observed after they had watched him for a while.

"Yeah, he's probably making sure the rest of the men get on safely," Zoro replied. "That Coby's a good guy. He's sure come a long way, too."

"I think you're forgetting the matter at hand here!" Helena exclaimed, gesturing at the large screen image of her father holding the Mask of Zeus. "He still hasn't put it down!"

"And he hasn't put it on either," Zoro reassured her. "Honestly, after what happened last time, I bet he's bluffing."

Hector grinned. "You're right," he said. "Anyway, I've noticed something a little fishy about that mask."

Helena narrowed her eyes at both of them, angry that they could both blow it off so lightly. But then Hector went on:

"See, I saw him wear the Mask of Zeus before. It was made of bronze and sort of glowed and crackled with power. That mask…I think it's made of wood."

"Hey, yeah," Zoro observed. "When Helena use the Mask of Apollo, it was a lot more…shiny."

Helena turned her narrowed gaze onto the screen and gasped. Hector and Zoro were right. "That's a festival mask from one of the stalls!" she said.

"Shh!" Hector shushed her with a wink. "Don't let any of _them_ hear you say that."

* * *

Somewhere on the streets of Ilium, a girl with bandages around her multicolored hair stumbled to hide in an alleyway, her face awash in tears. Loud, angry voices followed her, and she prayed they hadn't seen where she had gone.

"Where'd that Navy brat disappear to?" someone shouted.

"You sure she was Navy?" another voice asked. "She seemed like such a nice kid."

"Sure I'm sure," the first voice replied. "Her mother is Captain Circe. That brat helped the witch turn me and the rest of my unit into cattle."

Nausicaa's head throbbed, her memory of what had landed her here coming back to her in unintelligible fragments; a princess, a fox, a goose, wolves, her mother. She needed to find her mother. Mom always knew what to do.

"Hey! I found her!" a kid shouted, appearing around the corner of the alleyway. He picked up an empty can and tossed it at her. He had really good aim. "Go to Hades, Navy witch!"

"Like, you're grtting my clothes all dirty!" Nausicaa cried, though she couldn't really vouch for the state of her clothes before his garbage assault. "Oh em gee, leave me alone!"

Despite her pleading, the kid picked up more trash from the street. Soon a few more children joined him, pelting her with litter before their parents caught up with them.

The adults, including the Iliad soldier, looked a lot more dangerous than the kids. Nausicaa screamed at them and put her litter litter power into effect. A whirlwind of the very trash they'd been chucking at her threw them back into the street behind them. It picked her up out of the alleyway, and she guided it to dump her on the other side.

"Find her!" the soldier shouted. "The sun's practically over the horizon now. Take her to the execution square!"

Tears weren't the only thing blurring her vision. The head wound made it hard to think straight. She took to running, stumbling as she went, and constantly checking over her shoulder for her pursuers. It was like this that she ran straight into someone large and solid.

"Miss Nausicaa?" a big, dumb voice asked.

She knew that big, dumb voice. "Bruce!" she cried, looking up at the lumbering fool. He was probably the most inept marine in her mother's unit, but Nausicaa's tears fell all the harder as relief spilled through her. "Bruce, I don't know where I am! Everyone's totes trying to, like, kill me! Where's Mom!"

"Uhhh, your mother's in bad shape, Miss Nausicaa," he said. "I came back to, uhhhh, find you. We've, uhhhh, got to get out of here before it's too late."

"Like, Oh Em Gee, Bruce! What do you mean she's in bad shape?" Nausicaa demanded. "Leave before it's too late? Like, why…? Did we lose?"

"Cap'n got stabbed in the back. I got her on one of the, uhhh, ships out," he replied, "Uhhh, the Queen's called a temporary, uhhhh, truce, but we only have 'til the sun clears the horizon. Some of the, uhhh, people don't want to wait til then, though."

Nausicaa didn't know how to process what she was hearing. She buried her face into Bruce's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. The marine stared at her, completely at a loss as to what to do until Nauscaa's pursuers turned the corner behind her.

"Time to, uhhh, get out of here," Bruce said, grabbing her by the wrist. He pulled her until she started running again, downhill toward the lower wall.

Racing the clock, it seemed like an eternity passed before they ran into the wall. –literally ran into it. Bruce hadn't been watching where he was going, and Nausicaa was too dizzy and disoriented to realize what was happening until she felt her powers temporarily sucked out of her by the sea prism.

An Iliad soldier wearing razor sharp high heels spotted them. He had medals decorating his bare chest; apparently he didn't think it necessary to wear more than a cape and pleated bronze skirt. Whether he pierced his chest or used glue to keep the medals on was anyone's guess, but Nausicaa suspected the latter.

Her powers still hadn't returned, or she would have called another litter cloud to her aid. Bruce pulled out his rifle, but lowered it as soon as the soldier spoke.

"Woah, careful there. We have a truce, remember?" the soldier said. "You two had better hurry. You're almost out of time." He turned to call over his shoulder: "Hey, I found a couple more!"

"Aye, Lieutenant General," came the response.

A moment later Nausicaa and Bruce had been shewed through the main gates toward where the last of the navy ships were boarding. A marine captain with rose colored hair and a bloodied face waved at them frantically from the broken port, shouting at them to hurry.

Nausicaa would have kept running til her lungs burst if necessary, but her gaze snagged on another small group of people standing near the frantic marine. One was General Bunny, er Hector. One was the Queen herself. But the one holding the sleeping Princess she definitely recognized as Roronoa Zoro, even if he'd put his mask back on. Why would a good looking specimen of a man like that feel the need to do that?

"Hey!" he called out to her, and she felt the color rise to her checks.

"Oh em geeeee, he's talking to me!" she squealed to Bruce, grabbing his arm and shaking it. "Oh em geee, I'm gonna faint!"

Zoro raised a brow quizzically at her. "Uh, thanks for saving my kid," he said. "You did me and Cygnus a solid. We owe you one."

A dam inside her broke at his words, and the memories came rushing back in. In horror she remembered that she had openly defied a Navy Captain and had helped the enemy's princess escape capture.

Dropping Bruce's arm, she backed away from the small cluster of people standing by the final boarding platform. Bruce looked back at her for a moment, but then just shrugged and boarded the ship without her.

"No, no," she stuttered. "I, like, can't go with the navy now!" she exclaimed. Then she turned to see the soldiers at the gates, "But I can't stay here either! ZOMG, I'm gonna die! I don't wanna die!"

The Marine Captain with the pink hair placed his hand on her shoulder as she started to hyperventilate. "You're Circe's daughter, aren't you? You rescued Ilium's Princess?"

"I went against my mom because she was acting like a monster," Nausicaa sniffed. "But I wasn't thinking! Now I have nowhere to go!"

"You have a place on my crew if you like," he said.

"No!" she screamed, slapping his hand away. "I don't want to be a marine! Ever. I'm so woke now to what the marines are like. They're all so totes awful!"

"You hear that, Coby?" Zoro asked, raising a brow at the Captain, who smiled wryly. " _'Totes,_ ' even."

"Well, if you don't want to be a marine, what do you want?" Coby asked her gently.

"Like, not to die," Nausicaa replied, hiding her face in her hands.

"Alright, aside from that," Coby said, "What's your dream?"

"I don't know! I'm only sixteen, ok? Get off my back!"

"Only sixteen," Queen Helena put in, chuckling. "By sixteen I had already faced Mihawk. Twice."

Zoro nodded. "I started training to be the World's Greatest Swordsman by time I was eight."

"Captain-San is only seventeen years old. He's the youngest Captain on record," another man put in. He had long, blond hair, a cleft chin, and a pair of thin sunglasses. "He and I started training with the marines over two years ago."

"No need to brag about it, Helmeppo-San," Coby replied modestly.

"Thanx, guys. Now I feel, like, tons better," Nausicaa sniffed, rolling her eyes.

"There must be something that you want," Captain Coby insisted, squeezing her shoulder.

Nausicaa flushed. "It's stupid," she said.

"Can't be more stupid than declaring your husband will the first man who can defeat you with a sword," General Hector put in, only to let out a loud, "Oof!" a moment later when the Queen slammed her elbow into his ribs.

"I…like cooking," Nausicaa said sheepishly. "Like, special foods for people with, like, food allergies. Dad can't have gluten, see, and Mom thinks he's just faking it. Es Em Aytch. I want to open a specialty restaurant."

"Wait, do you know how to make dairy free cheesecake?" Helmeppo exclaimed suddenly.

"Totes," Nausicaa replied. "I can even make, like, dairy free cheese!"

"Coby, we have to hire her!" Helmeppo insisted, "My lactose-intolerance demands it!"

"You know, the marines are a good place to get your start," Coby told her. "I'm sure the cook in my crew could use a pair of hands if you're interested."

Nausicaa blinked at him.

"Don't judge the whole of the marines for the bad decisions of a few," Helmeppo added. "My Dad, Captain Morgan, was a basket case, let me tell you."

"But even if I, like, totally _wanted_ to consider your offer," she said, trying to maintain a stubborn front. "Why would you hire me after I, like, defied orders?"

The whole group let out a chorus of hearty guffaws.

"Let's put it this way," Hector said in response to Nausicaa's flushed face. "You're not the only marine to have rescued the Crown Princess today. It would be wise to take Captain Coby-San up on his offer."

"And quickly," Queen Helena put in. "The sun's almost up and you're all starting to make me like you. I'd hate to have to kill you now."

"El oh el, ok," Nausicaa said, though she didn't actually laugh out loud. "You guys seem pretty lit. I guess I can give this a try."

"Good," Coby replied, smiling. "There is one condition though."

"Anything, bae! El oh el."

"You have got to stop talking like that," Coby told her. "I can't understand half of what you're saying."

"Totes, I mean, totally, uh, I mean…" Nausicaa floundered. "Yes, thank you."

* * *

Cygnus watched the last of the enemy ships leave the harbor and let out a sigh of relief. He stopped the transponder snails from projecting his voice and image, then turned to inspect the wooden mask in his hands.

"Well, thank Olympus they bought the ruse. I'd hate to have had to put my contingency plan in motion."

He turned and strutted toward a nearby stone staircase, prepared to make his way down the wall. To his surprise he found his path on the stairs impeded by none other than his contingency plan.

"I told you, you can return to your churros, Witch," Cygnus snapped unapologetically at the bowed Sybil. Bent over, she looked almost a third of her size, a tactic she generally used to hide in public. Her hood obscured her face from view. "Your services are no longer needed."

She looked up at him suddenly, eyes glowing silver within the recesses of her violet cloak:

"Philosopher King!" she boomed in a deep, terrible voice that wasn't her own.

"Great Zeus!" Cygnus cried, clutching his heart, "I mean, my Lord Zeus! To what do I owe this honor?"

The Sybil's silver hair crackled with static as she, or rather the god using her as mouthpiece, surveyed the king with a superior air. "We the unfathomable gods have closed the heavens."

Cygnus had to resist the urge to snort. Basically Zeus was admitting to giving them the silent treatment like a petty teenage girl. "Yes, I noticed."

"But the Sybil is and always will be an exception," Zeus went on. "As you are the only pious member of the royal family left, I couldn't let this opportunity to communicate with you pass. You spoke to my daughter, Athena once, and she told you a wave was coming. That Ilium would be destroyed."

"Yes, she told me that a few years ago. I presume this was the moment Helena's marriage to Roronoa was to prevent against," Cygnus said, nodding toward the abandoned battlefront below. "After all, together she and he ended the battle without your help. Is that not correct?"

"The wave has not yet come," Zeus informed him without humor. "Your daughter has lost the support of all the gods but one. Her obeisance to her patron goddess is of utmost importance now. Remind her of who she is and where her loyalties must lie before it is too late."

Lightning sparked, Cygnus shielded his eyes, and when he opened them, the Sybil had disappeared, though for the next few minutes the afterimage of her sparking eyes remained burned into Cygnus' retinas.

"I fear it is already too late, my Lord," Cygnus murmured.

* * *

Helena glanced away from the departing ships to steal a glimpse of her husband and child. He stood, straight and strong as ever, cradling Kuina to him as though it were the most natural thing in the world. The child smiled, even as she slept.

Then he yawned broadly, breaking the image of untiring strength. Helena felt the soft smile on her face give way to a yawn of her own. She took Zoro by the hand.

"Come on," she said quietly. "Let's go to bed."

Zoro shot her a wry smirk. "Oh no, I'm not going with you. _I'm_ staying in the guest room."

Helena smacked his arm, scowling. "I thought we were over this. You're staying in _your_ room, with _me, idiot."_

"Just wanted to hear you say it," he replied, grinning.

"What, that you're an idiot? I'll remind you of that any day of the week," the Queen shot back.

"Takes one to marry one," Zoro retorted.

Helena laughed. "Come on," she said, leading him toward the city gates. "It's dawn. That means there's someone we need to visit."


	27. Chapter 27 - A Day with Kuina

CAUTION: Fluff and fashion ahead! ^_^

* * *

Ch. 27 – A Day with Kuina

Golden pink light painted stark violet shadows in the Grove of Kings as her Majesty, Queen Helena of the Line of Prometheus took her consort by the hand and introduced him to their son. Neither parent said anything. Through weary gaze, the wayward pirate read and reread the bronze plaque proclaiming this tree the living memorial of Prince Telemachus du Helena et Zoro. It was still so small.

Zoro couldn't help but wonder at his wife's ritual. She had replaced a wilting bouquet of forget-me-knots with a fresh one, placed a kiss on the tips of her finger to the trunk of the sapling, and now sat with her legs crossed in the half lotus, something he recognized as her preferred stance for meditating. She did it all with such practiced ease, he guessed she came here often.

The grief of the grove had new meaning for him now. He'd walked beneath these boughs before, had even witnessed a funeral here. But the trees had still only felt like trees to him then. Now he almost wondered if old souls wandered here. Old and young souls, perhaps.

Taking the cue from his wife, he sat beside her with his legs crossed, cradling Kuina in his lap. The little princess slept peacefully on, blissfully unaware of the brother she should have known. Meanwhile, Zoro clapped his hands together and bowed his head respectfully in prayer.

When he'd finished, he opened his eyes to notice his old bandana around the trunk. It was weatherworn and somewhat faded. Thoughts and regrets finally took the form of words, and at last he broke the reverent silence:

"Helena," he said. "Something has to change."

She turned her exhausted, sad gaze to him and waited for him to go on. As she watched, he carefully untied the old bandana from his son's tree. Taking the newer bandana he kept on his arm, he knotted it around the sapling.

"I can't go to sea again and not hear from my family," he told her, his son's bandana clutched loosely in one hand.

Helena chewed her lip pensively, brow furrowed. "You said the provisos saved your life once. Do you really want me to renege them?"

"I think if we're honest, we both want you to renege them," he said. "But we also know it feels wrong somehow. Could we maybe revise them?"

"What do you propose?"

Zoro gazed through his mask at the small tree in silence for a moment longer, pondering an appropriate response. "I'm not sure yet," he said at length. "I need time to think about it."

Helena nodded. She slipped the worn bandana from his hand and tied it in its customary place on his upper arm. Upon closer inspection, it looked like it had a few more years of life in it yet, despite having faded from its time out in the elements. "Dare I ask how much time we have?"

Zoro sighed. "I guess we had to face the question sooner or later. What you've said about the World Government pronouncing me dead has me worried that the crew might not know to wait for me. I want, no, I need to be at the archipelago first, and the anniversary of our split is in…"

"…a little over a week," Helena said. "Kuina's birthday."

Zoro nodded. He should have realized she'd remember that particular date. "It's possible that they'll say something about my recent comeback in the news, but I can't count on that. They may just gloss this all over since they were trounced so badly, eh?"

Helena hummed a pensive consent. "I think one of our triremes can get you to the Saobody Archipelago in time. Especially if you take mine. It's a nice ship; very fast. Only the best for the Queen." She wearily sing-songed that last bit. "And for the Queen's husband," she added.

"Did your ship, or, _any_ of your ships survive what Regent did to the harbor?"

"Most of ours weren't docked there," Helena told him with a soft smile. "We don't like to put all of our eggs in one basket. Especially such a highly exposed basket."

"That's a relief," Zoro said. "When would I have to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning at the latest."

 _Tomorrow morning,_ Zoro thought sadly. _So little time. It's always so little time…_

He settled back against an older, larger pomegranate tree behind him. Perhaps it was disrespectful, he didn't know, but at the moment he was too tired to care. Apparently so was Helena. She curled up against him, smelling of earth and steel; of blood, and sweat and battle.

"Zoro?" Helena asked, adjusting herself against him until she was comfortable. "You said that the provisos saved your life. May I ask how?"

"It's…a little hard to explain," Zoro replied, placing his free arm around her; the one that wasn't cradling a lightly snoring toddler. "Have you heard of Bartholomew Kuma? He was out to take the Captain's life…"

Helena listened quietly as he recounted the story of his own vicarious torture. She didn't say much, in fact, he didn't even know if she heard the whole harrowing tale. The way she drew closer to him when he finished seemed to imply that she had, but by the time he finished talking she had fallen asleep. Not long after, so had he.

* * *

Zoro awoke to a face full of diaper.

He wasn't quite sure how it had happened. One minute he and his family had snuggled together to catch a few winks, the next he was laying on the floor of the pomegranate grove with Kuina sitting determinedly on his head. Helena had disappeared. The sun had risen enough to turn the sky blue.

"Wake up, Papa!" Kuina demanded, standing only to sit down hard on his face a second later. "Wake up! Wake up!"

"I'm awake," he grumbled. "Stop 'at kid."

Kuina giggled a giggle that said she knew she could get away with being a little bit naughty this morning. The little menace continued to bounce up and down on his face until he grabbed her and pinned her down, tickling her for good measure.

When she'd giggled until she was red in the face, Zoro finally released her.

"Where's your mom?" he asked.

"I 'unno," she said with an over-exaggerated shrug.

"So she just up and left the two of us to sleep in the dirt, huh?" he asked.

Kuina kept shrugging at him like she'd only recently figured out how to do so, so Zoro just chuckled to himself, stood and stretched. As soon as he did, a little note fell from his person, fluttering into Kuina's hands. She held it out to him excitedly:

"Mama write it?" she asked. "Mama like to write letters."

Zoro took it from her. Sure enough it was a note from Helena.

" _You both looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you. I was called away on kingdom business. We're all pretty swamped with the cleanup, including the nursemaid unit. Please look after Kuina today."_

That last sentence made Zoro's brows knit together, in confusion or fear or probably both. " _Me look after the kid?"_ he thought in distress. " _What do I know? Heck, I can't even change a…"_

At that precise moment, Kuina turned red in the face. She strained and furrowed her brow in determination.

"What's wrong kid?" Zoro asked in concern. Realization hit him a moment later. "Oh no, don't tell me…"

A squishy, tell-tale sound told him that his worst fears had just been realized.

"Need new diapy," she informed him, almost proudly he thought.

"What the He…ck kid?!" Zoro barely restrained the swear in front of his child. "You could tell you needed to go, so why didn't you just tell me? We could have gotten you to a bathroom or something!"

"No like potty," Kuina said, stamping her foot. "Want diapy."

"So help me, if I'm watching you today kid, you're going to be potty-trained by sundown," Zoro insisted through gritted teeth, taking her little hand in his. "Come on, let's get you home for starters."

"Where we go?" Kuina asked, pointing the other way. "Home over there."

For a kid who'd never been outside the palace before, she had a pretty good sense of direction.

* * *

Getting Kuina a clean diaper didn't turn out to be as difficult as Zoro had feared. As soon as they walked through the palace steps, servants swarmed the little princess, ecstatic to meet her. They immediately smelled and soon attended to her needs. It wasn't long after that he ran into Andromache.

"Finally found your way out of that broom closet I see," Zoro said to her. She didn't look amused, but then, he didn't really find her batting him over the wall all that amusing either.

"Helena seriously put you in charge of watching the baby?" she asked, glaring at him. "Do you even know the first thing about children?"

"Nope," Zoro replied, then his stomach grumbled loudly. "I'm guessing the next thing we need to take care of now is breakfast, though. Care to point us in the right direction?"

Andromache snorted. "That poor child is probably already having an information overload as it is, this being her first time out and all. I suggest you take breakfast in Helena's room so Kuina can have a sense of normalcy. Then she definitely needs a bath. You too, no offense. Helena's got a bathroom annexed onto…"

"Yeah, I know," Zoro cut her off. "I've been here before, remember? But, uh, when will Helena be done with…whatever she's doing?"

"Arranging clean-up and funeral games and rescheduling the City of Dionysus Festival?" Andromache replied with an edge of sarcasm. Apparently she was still mad about that broom closet jab. "Well, you're sure to see her by noon. She never misses a lunch appointment with her daughter."

"So I just have to keep you alive til then, eh kid?" Zoro said, turning to look down at where she'd been standing a moment ago. "Kid? Not again!"

* * *

Zoro caught up with his adventurous daughter the next room over, which happened to be the destroyed throne room. As it turned out, she'd singled out her grandfather from the busy hum of people.

"Gampa Pinch!" she cried joyfully. "No goose!"

"Hey there, Little Queen!" Cygnus said, stopping mid-conversation with a bunch of palace staff to pick her up. He looked much better now that he'd had the wound in his face tended.

"The Princess!" Nysa cried. Zoro remembered her from before: the loud, fashionable party planner. She had a short, clipped way of speaking as though she were always in a hurry, and she never seemed to run out of lists and clipboards. "Diddy. Dress?"

An elderly woman with green ombre hair and wearing a false mustache took the princess's little hand and smiled. "Hi there, little one! Oh, yes, I'm going to have such fun making dresses for you. Do you like glitter, Princess?"

Kuina giggled and nodded excitedly.

"I love her already," Diddy said, grinning at Cygnus. She had remarkably well kempt teeth. Or maybe they were dentures. "If only her _mother_ enjoyed wearing pretty things more."

"Helena likes wearing pretty things," Zoro put in. "Just not the kind that slow her down!"

"She could use a little slowing down now and again, don't you agree? Anyway, she's been giving me trouble with her wardrobe since she was five." Diddy grumped, then narrowed her eyes at him. "You're Zoro, aren't you? I don't like you."

"Get in line," Zoro said unapologetically.

"Helena outsourced her wedding clothes because of you!" Diddy sniffed. "She didn't want a gown. She just had to have a kimono, didn't she? And she went to a tailor in town to measure and order in your clothes and hers. It's an insult!"

"Now, Diddy," Cygnus put in, "The tailor she went to specialized in imports like that. She has given you the honor of designing every other royal gown she has ever needed, including her coronation gown."

"Yes, and what thanks has she ever given me for it?" Diddy snapped. For a ninety-year-old woman she sure had a lot of fire. "On top of that, every dress I seem to put her in ends up torn to shreds. Oh, but not that kimono, no. She's taken special care of that. It's in tip top shape, isn't it?"

Zoro smiled inwardly at this.

"Anyway, now you can work your magic for Kuina here," Cygnus said in an attempt to mollify her. "She's about as Princessy as Princesses can be."

"Yes, yes," Nysa chipped in. "The Parade! Four o'clock!"

"Of course! I've already got something in the works, I just need her sizing," Diddy said, pulling a measuring tape out of what appeared to be a sewing utility belt, complete with needles of several different sizes, fabric swatches in every color imaginable, and large, sharp sheers. "Do you like pink, little one?"

Kuina furrowed her brow and shook her head as Cygnus set her down to be measured.

"Purple then?"

Kuina shook her head harder, much to the seamstress' bemusement.

"What's your favorite color?"

Kuina grabbed her own wild hair and held it up in fistfuls. "Geen!" she exclaimed.

Zoro grinned. "That's my girl."

* * *

Zoro did eventually get around to breakfasting in Helena's room. With his knees up around him, he sat with his daughter at a toddler sized table in toddler sized chairs, eating croissants, fruit, and yogurt. He was impressed with the kid's table manners, which were much more elegant than his own. Though she had more plastic utensils set up outside her plates than she could possibly need, she always seemed to know which one to use, and would even cut her own grapes in half with a fork and blunt knife.

She got a little messy – the yogurt helped with that – but insisted on cleaning herself. She led the way to the bathroom, where she washed her face and hands, and splashed herself all over in the process.

"I guess I should give you that bath now," Zoro mentioned with some trepidation. She didn't look like someone who would sit still long enough to bathe.

Kuina shook her head vigorously.

"What, you don't like baths?" Zoro asked, his sense of alarm mounting. If she disliked bathing, she'd be even harder to pin down. He got the image of trying to wrestle her into the tub, only to fall in fully clothed himself. It wasn't worth it, no matter how dirty and stinky she was.

Kuina shook her head again. "I like bath," she said. "But we no work out yet!"

A smirk spread across Zoro's face. "You want to go work out?" he asked. "Doesn't your mom usually do that with you before the sun's up?"

The Princess nodded energetically and took her father's hand. She looked him in the eye very seriously, reminding him again of her mother's commanding, diplomatic manner. "Mama busy today. Papa work out with Kuina?"

"Sure, kid," Zoro said, letting her lead him from the bathroom toward Helena's bookshelf. "Let's go to the gym."

* * *

Helena aside, Zoro couldn't have picked a better workout partner. He had thought Kuina would want to spend most of her time playing in her playhouse, but she immediately followed him to where he would normally do his reps.

The time passed quickly as he let her grab hold of the dumbbells as he lifted, or did pushups with her sitting on his back giggling like mad. He had just finished a round of chin ups with her holding onto his back like a little monkey when Helena came in from the bookshelf passage. She had a fond smile on her face.

"So this is where you two went off to!"

"Mama, Mama!" Kuina cried. "Papa strong! Just like you said!"

Zoro dropped from the bar and let Kuina slide off his back. "Hey, Helena," he said, grinning at her. "Care to join us?"

Helena chuckled. "I'm afraid it's lunch time, you two," she told them, "And after that you really need to get cleaned up and settle Kuina down for her nap. There's a lot going on after that, and you two are expected to participate."

"Participate? In what?" Zoro asked, taking the towel Helena proffered him and wiping his brow.

"Well, there's going to be a parade at four o'clock this afternoon. We're using it to formally celebrate the recent victory, celebrate your homecoming, and to introduce Kuina to the people," Helena said. "The City of Dionysus festival is being re-celebrated tonight so we don't offend Dionysus. And in between there are some funeral games to mourn those we lost."

"I'm fine with the first bit," Zoro told her, following Kuina as she skipped toward the secret passage that would take them back to Helena's room and lunch. "But I'm not participating in any funeral games ever again."

Helena chuckled. "Well, if I die, you'd better plan on participating in mine."

"Fine," Zoro said, rolling his eyes as he took her hand. "If you die before I do, then yours'll be the one exception."

* * *

"Papa…" Kuina whined as she eyed the sumptuous lunch in front of her. "I have chocwate sammich cookie for lunch?"

"You may have some for Dessert," Helena said, pouring herself and Zoro a cup of tea. "I have some left over from yesterday." She leaned over to Zoro as she passed him the tea. "They're her favorite," she whispered.

"I share wif Papa?" Kuina continued, eyes wide. "Papa want cookie?"

"That's ok, kiddo. I don't really care for chocolate."

Helena grinned at him. "I guess she gets her sweet tooth from me then," she said with a wink. "They're my favorite too."

"I learn new things about you every day," Zoro observed. "Like your, um, knitting talent."

He glanced down under the table, where Helena worked a pair of long wooden needles between her toes. Using a skein of high quality, green yarn, she set about knitting him a new haramaki as she ate.

"It's nice to have a hobby," Helena replied, shrugging.

"Does a Queen have time for hobbies?" Zoro asked.

"Nope!" Helena said, grinning, though that grin disappeared into a yawn. "Why do you think I do it with my toes? It's called multitasking."

"Are you going to join Kuina and me for a nap after lunch?" Zoro asked. "You look exhausted."

"I never nap," Helena told him.

Zoro stared at her, aghast.

"What's that look for? Like I just said, there's never enough time!"

* * *

Sooner than he would have liked, Zoro found himself slightly rested, scrubbed clean and sitting on a chariot-shaped parade float with his family. Kuina had gotten just the kind of princess dress a two-year-old would want. It was sparkly and huge, and per her request, very, very green. They'd put a small, golden laurel grown on her head to remind everyone just who she was, not that there could be any doubt, what with the wild green hair.

 _She_ looked great. They'd put Zoro in a toga with gold trim, though. It was to symbolize his connection to the royal family or something like that. He wasn't particularly fond of wearing a dress – too breezy for his taste – but he couldn't exactly complain. Helena had it tons worse.

Raqueline and Diddy had gotten it into their minds that Helena needed ceremonial armor to embody her recent martial victory. As she was the Sun Queen, that meant lots of gold and jagged angles. It would have looked cool, except that they had decided to put a pair of long, sharp cones on the breastplate.

Kuina couldn't seem to stop pointing it out. "So big!" she whispered, tugging on the side of Zoro's toga for the hundredth time to point at them. "Mama not big there."

She'd said it so much that Zoro finally couldn't help a loud snort. Cygnus, who had apparently heard her, couldn't help one of his own. The two men quickly shoved their fists over their mouths to stifle the inevitable laughter

"They do seem to be overcompensating for something, don't they?" Cygnus whispered as Helena turned around to glare at them, completely pink in the face.

"Something funny?" she demanded through gritted teeth.

"Nope," Cygnus and Zoro said together, pursing their lips.

"Mama, why you so pointy?" Kuina asked loudly. "You have extra swords?"

Zoro and Cygnus couldn't take it anymore. Their hearty laughter drew stares from the crowd, but they didn't care.

"Wait, wait," Zoro said, calming himself under Helena's scrutinizing gaze. He pulled one of his katana from its sheath and stuck it in her mouth just as she opened it to say something. "There you go. You can do Seven-Sword Style without me now!"

He and Cygnus dissolved into more fits of laughter as Helena's face turned from carnation pink to poppy red.

"Alright, that's it!" she cried, yanking the katana out of her mouth.

"Wait, mercy!" Zoro cried, trying and failing yet again to get a grip on his own laughter. "Don't go Titan on me! It's not fair! I'm one sword down!"

"You are so sleeping in the guest room, Zoro de Helena," she proclaimed.

"Is ok, Papa," Kuina said, patting Zoro's arm when he made a pouty face. "Then Mama no poke you."

* * *

After the parade, Zoro counted himself lucky to spend a little time with his family walking the festive streets of Ilium. Most of the damage done to the city had been isolated to Mycenae outside the wall, and a few streets near the palace. That meant that the party would continue uninterrupted, and boy did Helena's people know how to throw a party.

Helena pointed things out as they walked, explaining this or that about the culture and traditions. Both she and Kuina had changed into dress length chitons, which meant he was in no danger of being blinded by glittery layers of tulle when he put Kuina up on his shoulders, nor was he in danger of getting skewered by breastplate cones when Helena took his arm.

He was still stuck in a toga though. As much as he respected Helena's culture and traditions, he needed to find something else to wear. The festival stalls seemed like a good place to start. To his surprise, Kuina found something for him first.

"Geen!" she said, pointing at a long coat fluttering on a coat rack.

"Your Majesties!" A diminutive, older man in spectacles approached Helena and Cygnus, wringing his hands in delight. "And you! It's you!" he cried, taking Zoro's hand and shaking it with unbridled enthusiasm. "I owe you so much! My business has been booming since you were last here!"

"Do I know you?" Zoro asked, feeling a little awkward.

"Ah, yes. We only met once," the man said, adjusting his small spectacles. "You tried to kill me."

"I did?" Zoro asked, surprised that he'd attack someone so thoroughly unthreatening. "Did you deserve it?"

"No," Helena said flatly. "He was just trying to take your measurements."

"Ohh! Now I remember," Zoro smiled. "You're the one who ordered in my wedding clothes."

The man nodded energetically. "I ordered in lots of things in that style after that, and my business has been booming. It inspired me to develop my own line, and it's been a huge hit! You're very popular here, you know."

Zoro raised a brow while Helena laughed.

"Exhibit A," she chortled, gesturing at some teenagers on the other side of the street. They all wore their hair in various cuts and styles, but all had been dyed mint green.

"What a great color," Zoro said pointedly to Cygnus, who raised both his fluffy eyebrows in an attempt to look innocent.

"Yes, it's a _lovely_ color," the grandfather insisted, ruffling Kuina's hair while she giggled. "Well, go on, then. Try on that coat, Hurricane. I think it suits you."

"Great, then I can finally get out of this dress."

"Toga," Cygnus corrected.

"Dress," Zoro corrected his correction.

"I see you have a mask," the tailor said as Zoro took the coat from the rack. "Which God are you supposed to be? I don't know any God or Hero who dresses all in white."

"Roronoa Zoro does, when he takes down Nemo!" a little boy cried, butting into their conversation as he ran by. "That's a great Zoro costume, by the way," he said to Zoro, who threw a fist into the air.

"Finally!"

* * *

Zoro had a lot to reflect on, walking toward the palace as the sun began to set. He only had one traveling companion now; the rest had stayed behind to enjoy the wine samples they'd started handing out at street corners.

"You know, it's strange," he said pensively. "I've had a few families. A dojo. A crew. – but this one is different somehow. I have a beautiful, kick a…er, kick butt wife, a crazy Father-in-Law, but strangest of all, I've got this cute, well-mannered kid who likes biting things, and working out, and the color green, and chocolate sandwich cookies. She's got pretty good fashion sense too."

He looked down at his new clothes. He now sported some comfortable black pants and boots, but most of notice was his long, forest green coat. It was a warm night, so he wore it open, exposing his bare chest and the new haramaki he wore beneath it.

His traveling companion let out a loud snore from his shoulder, and Zoro shifted her weight against him as he walked. "You're the only person I don't mind leaving a party early for, kid," he said, smirking. "Especially one where they're giving out free booze."

Sensing his affection, the little bundle in his arms started gnawing on his shoulder in her sleep. He'd probably have to do something about it in a minute – she'd bite deep enough to leave another one of those bruises soon enough. He didn't want to pull her away and wake her up though.

A few fireworks took care of that for him, to his chagrin. They went off in one of the surrounding neighborhoods, startling Kuina awake. She didn't make a fuss though, and curled against him again when the noise settled.

"Papa," she mumbled. "I yuv you."

A warm emotion shot through him with unanticipated intensity. "You too, kid," he murmured softly. But then she said something that made his heart stop:

"You stay?" she asked.

Before he could answer, Cygnus and Helena came running up beside him. "Where are you going?" the later demanded.

"I'm taking the kid home," Zoro said, cocking his head in confusion. "You're busy, Helena. It's ok, I don't mind. You said I'm supposed to take care of her today."

"I'll help you put her to bed," Helena insisted. "Anyway, you're walking in the wrong direction. Again."

Cygnus cut in before Zoro could respond. " _I'll_ take her home," he said. "You two need to spend some quality time together before you leave."

Zoro and Helena exchanged glances, then flushed when Cygnus went on:

"In fact, I think Kuina should stay with me tonight," Cygnus insisted, stealing Kuina from Zoro's shoulder. "I'm not opposed to the possibility of more green-haired grandchildren."

"Father!" Helena spluttered. Zoro grinned.

"Gampa," Kuina put in blearily. "Need to check potty."

Cygnus and Helena's mouths dropped open as Zoro looked at the setting sun and fist-pumped.

"What did you do?" Helena demanded. "None of us have been able to get her interested in potty-training at all!"

"I just told her that all pirates are potty-trained," Zoro said with a shrug, "And if she ever wants to come to sea with me, she has to be too. Isn't that right, kid?"

Kuina nodded sleepily, then screwed up her face in discomfort. "Gampa! Need to check potty _now!"_

"Alright, Little Queen! Alright!" Cygnus said in a panic, taking off into a sprint. "Let's go find you a potty!"

"You do realize what you've promised her now, don't you?" Helena asked, looking slightly aghast as they watched Cygnus sprint away.

"Sure," Zoro said. "But I never told her _when_ I'd take her to sea, did I? It'll be a few years at least."

"A fair few," Helena affirmed, taking his hand.

At that moment, they both caught sight of Hector and his family walking together in the street. Zoro still couldn't get over how much Astyanax looked like his father, or how incongruous tiny little Andromache looked next to the two enormous men.

It was even stranger to see the trio of warriors dressed in loose festival clothes instead of armor. Hector and Ax apparently had no qualms about wearing a dress, er, toga, and Ann actually looked kinda pretty with a wreath of flowers around her head. Well, she might have, but she still wore the same grumpy scowl Zoro had seen on her from this morning. Maybe she wasn't just mad about the broom closet jab.

Helena quickly hailed them. "Oh! Ann! I'm worried Papa will get lost taking Kuina back to the palace," she said hastily, before her father could dash out of sight completely. "Could you make sure he reaches it alright, and that he has everything Kuina needs."

"Aye, my Queen," Andromache said, pounding a fist to her chest. Her expression softened incrementally. "I'm honestly surprised you'd want me to have anything to do with your daughter after we failed you so completely last night."

"Not completely," Zoro shook his head. "You saved her from a huge pack of marine wolves. I'd say you did a pretty good job. Too good a job, actually."

"How do you know about that?" Andromache asked, narrowing her eyes. Understanding struck a moment later. "Oh gods, you were the green fox, weren't you?"

Zoro smirked at her, vindicated by her look of horror.

"Well, next time don't look so threatening!" Andromache barked, frowning at him. "I guess it's a good thing I had the child proofing on."

` "Hey!" Zoro started, "I can't help the way I…"

"I hate to interrupt, but you really need to hurry before Father gets too far," Helena insisted. "Sorry to make you do this Ann, especially after I gave you and Ax a long overdue day off."

"It's quite alright, my Queen. I'm glad for any chance to make up for last night's failings." Ann saluted again, looking considerably happier than when they first saw her. She took off after Cygnus, her family moseying after her.

Zoro narrowed his eye at Helena. "You gave them the day off?" he asked when the de Hectors were out of earshot. "Your note said the nursemaid unit was busy today."

"Well, they _were_ busy," Helena replied unapologetically. "Busy having the day off."

Zoro scowled at her. She spoke to his concerns before he could voice them:

"I wanted to give you a chance to spend time with our daughter, alright?" she confessed, "I know you've probably never taken care of a kid before, but you did a pretty good job, all told."

When Zoro didn't answer at first, Helena rambled on quickly:

"Anyway, it was either you spend the day with her, or you attend to all the boring kingdom business with me. I thought this was a far more enjoyable way for you to spend your time, so…"

"Helena," Zoro interrupted sternly, and her mouth snapped shut. She wore a look of determination, though, like whatever came out of his mouth, she would defend her decision to the death. His response made her gape at him:

"Thanks," he said firmly. "I had a really good time with her today."

"You…you did?"

Zoro nodded. "She's a good kid. Nice work."

Helena flushed, clearly pleased. "She is, isn't she?" she replied, lacing her fingers through his. "I can't take much of the credit though. She kind of came that way."

"What was that your Dad said about trying to make another one?"

Helena laughed. "Later," she said with a wink, leading the way to one of the nearest festival booths. "First, we've got a party to attend."


	28. Chapter 28 - Pomegranate Wine

Ch. 28 – Pomegranate Wine

Helena had always thought that Zoro would enjoy the City of Dionysus festival, given the opportunity. She couldn't help pointing this out as she walked through the decorated streets with her arm through his. "It's a festival that celebrates the God of Metamorphisis," she explained to him. "Anyone can be anything they want to be…"

"Or don't want to be," he retorted.

"But you do make a lovely fox, Dear," Helena assured him with a giggle as he shook his head, scowling. "—Anyway, it is a festival of transformation. We celebrate it through playacting, and liquor."

"I can definitely get behind that last part."

They were both handed a number of free samples and shots as they meandered beneath canopies of stringed lights and grapevines. It never really struck her as strange that hers were always given to her in a special cup, kept separate from the rest. She was the queen after all.

Zoro didn't seem to have any trouble holding his liquor, but when they had both had enough, they started to make their way back homeward.

"Waaaah!" a sudden cry drew their attention to Perona, who stumbled through the streets on her pigeon toes, holding lacy handkerchief to her eyes. "That was so dramatic, and romantic, and sad!"

"What's the matter with her?" Helena asked.

"I have no idea," Zoro replied with a shrug.

"Zoro!" she cried, flouncing toward them in a new black dress and a red top hat, probably both festival finds. Though it was night time, she also had a brand new parasol slung over her shoulder. "I just saw a play about you! You fought so hard for her and then she died and you couldn't save her! It was all for nothing! Waaaaah!"

"There's a play about us?" Zoro asked, intrigued.

"Of course there is," Helena replied, before turning to the sobbing Perona. "You do realize I'm still alive though, right? I was able to come back because…"

"Shhh!" Perona commanded sharply, shoving a finger over Helena's lips. "Don't ruin a perfect tragedy!"

"The play ends with you dying?" Zoro asked Helena as the Queen swatted Perona's hand away. "Seems like a real bummer."

"It ended with BOTH of you dying," Perona sobbed. "You went to the underworld with her as her entourage, but then your crew brought you back to life and she was left all alone in death. You gave such a beautiful soliloquy!"

"It won a lot of awards at its first City of Dionysus festival after you left," Helena said with a shrug. "I guess people like a good Catharsis now and then. Though it is curious…"

"What is?" Perona asked. "Of course it won awards. It was dreadful!" she sighed wistfully.

"Well, these plays usually come in sets of three. I don't know how they intend to make a sequel after they left me dead." Helena smiled wryly at Zoro, "I'm sure they've got plenty of material for another one now, what with your recent homecoming."

"That means I'll be in it!" Perona put in in sudden excitement. She narrowed her gaze at Helena goadingly. "They'll probably make me Zoro's interim lover to balance out you and Calypso."

"WHAT?" Zoro cried, flushing.

Helena chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like something the playwrights would throw in."

Perona cocked her head. "Wait, that was supposed to make you mad," she said. "Zoro showed up to this island with me. I was with him the past two years. Aren't you worried he and I were lovers?"

Helena let out a gut laugh. This Perona person was apparently a fan of drama, and not afraid to stir it up herself. "No," she said flatly. "You aren't even remotely his type, Miss Perona. I think you'd sooner kill one another."

Zoro nodded curtly. "It was a close call a few times, actually," he affirmed.

"Don't act all tough!" Perona snapped. "You owe me your life, you jerk. Just remember that!" She scrunched her face at him derisively, but then fell in step beside them, twirling her parasol.

"So, what's this play about us called, anyway?" Zoro asked, smirking.

"It's got a lame title," Perona said grumpily.

"Really?" Helena asked. "I rather liked it."

"It's called _The Straw Hats and the Iliad,_ " Perona said, making a face.

"Yeah, that is pretty lame," Zoro agreed.

* * *

Zoro and Helena thought they'd round off their evening by making an appearance at the party held in the palace itself. Clean up crews had worked miracles with the wrecked throne room, though they hadn't had time to repair any but the most pressing of the damage. Hector's trees still provided wall supports, and the enormous hole Zoro had cut through the ceiling let in starlight, giving the whole setting a sylvan, almost otherworldly feel.

Despite a recent tragedy, Helena's favorite musicians from _Homer's_ put on a beautiful performance. Zoro made sure to dance with his wife, lest she forget that he knew how. Anyway, the musicians happened to play their wedding song, so he couldn't exactly say no.

The one dance reminded them both how exhausted they were. They soon made their way to the upper balcony surrounding the throne room, which gave them an excellent view of the energetic dancing below. Luckily, the balcony itself was practically deserted, which meant they had a few moments to themselves.

"This is nice," Helena said, leaning against his shoulder. "You know, we didn't get a chance to really date before we got married."

Zoro chuckled. "Whose fault was that?"

"Hey, don't blame me! You gave out mixed signals," Helena scoffed, but the sharpness of her retort was swallowed up by a broad yawn.

"You ready to turn in for the night?" Zoro asked.

"It's still a little early, don't you think?" Helena replied, but she yawned again despite attempts to stifle it.

"I told you you should have taken a nap with Kuina and me," Zoro scolded. "Come on, you look exhausted."

Helena nodded. "Fine. But we should try some of the pomegranate wine before we go," she said. "They pulled out a new, clean vintage for tonight: poison free, I mean."

"I'll get it. You wait here," Zoro said, partly so she wouldn't grab any of the real stuff by mistake. It would be just his luck that she'd end up drunk before they could finish out their evening.

But when Zoro returned (a few wrong turns later), he found his place taken. And by Calypso Short-Stuff Blue, no less. The scoundrel at least kept a respectful foot or so of distance between himself and Queen, but he leaned on the balcony railing beside her, deep in conversation.

Neither seemed to have noticed Zoro yet. He ducked behind a nearby buttress, clutching the wine glasses in his hands with a white knuckled grip. Taking a deep breath, he glanced around from his hiding place in time to see Calypso offer the Queen a glass of wine. She took it but didn't drink.

"I meant to apologize," Calypso said. "I did more harm than good in the battle out there, mon."

"Not at all," Helena replied. "If you mean what happened to Mycanae, you'll be pleased to hear that while there was a good deal of property damage, there was only one civilian death. The majority of the casualties happened among my soldiers while they were stuck as cattle, actually. So in that regard, we owe you a great debt. You turned the tide of the battle when you took down Circe."

A satisfied smile crept over Calypso's face at this. Something about it made Zoro's skin crawl. The expression soon changed to something more empathetic. "Only one civilian casualty?" Calypso asked. "That's pretty miraculous, mon. And yet you still seem sad…?"

"It was a personal friend of mine. Enough that I helped light his funeral pyre on the beachthis morning," Helena murmured. "His name was Homer. I don't know if you've heard of him, he ran a wonderful pub restaurant outside the wall. It's gone now. It was completely destroyed in the battle…"

Calypso nodded. "Yes, I've been there a fair few times, mon," he said, then went on to confess, "I actually sought the place out when I heard you had particular friends there."

He looked at her meaningfully with those stupid, soulful blue eyes of his. Zoro thought now would be the perfect time to interrupt the conversation, but something vindictive inside him made him wait. He wanted to see how Helena would handle this.

"'Elena," Calypso said, reaching out to touch her arm. She intentionally angled her posture away, pulling herself free. –an obvious and polite rejection. "Please, hear me out, mon," he insisted, lowering his voice enough that Zoro had to strain his ears to hear him over the music and dancers below. "'Elena, you do realize he's going to leave you again, don't you? It will be years before you see him."

"Indeed," she said with diplomatic grace, swilling the wine. "I am prepared to wait."

"He shouldn't be asking you to wait," Calypso insisted, brow furrowed. "If he were a real man, he'd…"

"He is not asking me to wait, sir. He's has never asked that," Helena replied calmly. "I am choosing to do so. I could just as soon leave my kingdom for him as ask him to leave his dream for me."

"But…"

"Don't worry about me," she replied, as if her well-being were truly Calypso's only concern. "I am happy to wait, for you see, Roronoa Zoro is a man worth waiting for."

Calypso sighed. "I know better than to try and dissuade you when you've made up your mind like that, Your Majesty," he said, lifting his glass. "A toast, then, to your vagabond of a husband. May he deserve you someday."

Helena smiled wryly and tapped her glass to his. "May _I_ deserve _him_ , better put," she said, and drank.

And drank!

Zoro realized the moment it touched her lips that Calypso had not been as careful as he had been about bringing Helena fake wine. One small sip and the glass tumbled from her grasp to shatter at her feet. Her eyes glazed, and she stumbled so that Calypso had to catch her.

Zoro stepped out of hiding only to stop short in shock as the other man spoke to the queen in low, rapid tones:

"Your inhibitions keep you from saying what you truly feel, mon," he murmured to her. "Tell me, 'Elena. Do you really want to face the coming years alone?"

He'd gotten her drunk on purpose! Zoro dropped the wine he'd been carrying, and his hands flew to the hilt of his katana, but Calypso went on before he could draw:

"You deserve someone to come home to," he insisted brazenly. "You don't have to torment yourself like this, mon."

Helena giggled, and Zoro steeled himself for what would come out of her mouth. He determined not to hold it against her:

"Blue," she told him, blinking at his face. "You're real handsome. You know that? You make me just wanna…just wanna…"

Calypso grinned. "Just say it, mon!"

"Just wanna…smack you in your pretty face," she spluttered, and then she did, hard. Calypso dropped her in shock. She fell back against the balcony, holding herself upright with noodley arms. She pushed herself to her feet so she could shake her finger at his nose:

"Listen good, 'cause I don't wanna hafta say this to you anymore," she slurred, glaring at him cross-eyed. "Zoro's the one I want to come home to someday. An'…if I want him then, I gotta wait for him now, don't I?"

"But…"

"Yes, he does have a cute butt," Helena went on. "But that's not the only reason I love him. …helps though."

Calypso stared at her, mouth agape. When he finally composed himself, he shook his head with would-be sorrow. "He could disappear again, mon. It won't be long after that that you'll realize your faith has been misplaced."

"Nah, I learned my lesson," Helena insisted. "Now, you should prolly take the next boat offa the island. I don't wanna banish you after you helped us out so much, so don't make me, 'kay?"

"'Elena…!" Calypso started, taking a step toward her with his arms out as though he would grab her. He stopped suddenly when Zoro's katana rested lightly on his shoulder from behind.

"You do realize when a woman says No, she means _No_ , right?" Zoro growled.

"Zoro!" Helena cried, her face brightening with delight as she stumbled toward him. "We were just talking about you!"

She misjudged the distance and stumbled into his chest. He raised an eyebrow at her as she blinked with a dreamy smile on her face. "I've had some, _hic,_ wine. Can we got to bed now?" she asked.

Zoro frowned at her. The woman could barely walk or even talk straight. Calypso had effectively ruined whatever time they had left tonight.

Without moving his katana, Zoro grabbed his wife in one arm and threw her over his shoulder. "You're going to bed," he told her. "After that, I've got someone's butt to kick for ruining the rest of our evening."

"Roronoa," Calypso murmured with a cheeky grin on his face despite the sword still resting on his shoulder. "You do realize I knew you were there the whole time, right?"

"Whether you realized it or not, you've gotta be pretty sick to try and seduce her again under my own roof. Especially while I'm still at home."

"I did it for your sake," he replied calmly. "Now you know she's yours, don't you? Even drunk, she is still loyal to you."

"I'm not drunk!" Helena put in. "There's definitely no blood in my alcohol system."

Zoro and Calypso ignored her.

"You should thank me," Calypso insisted.

"I should run you through," Zoro snarled. "But out of thanks for what you did to help Helena and her people, I'll stick with what she asked and invite you to leave before it comes to that." He pulled his sword away sharply, nicking the collar of Calypso's shirt in warning.

"You don't want that, mon," Calypso asserted. "Elena still needs me here while you're away, and you know it. She and her people aren't strong enough on their own. Besides, she needs a teacher…"

Zoro paused to glare at him over his free shoulder.

"You saw it too, didn't you, mon?" Calypso insisted, turning to face him. "She has a natural gift with haki. She could become powerful beyond belief if only she honed it, but she barely knows what it is. I could teach her."

Zoro stared at him hard, seriously contemplating what he said. She did need a teacher, but Calypso of all people? "That's for her to decide," he said at length.

He turned to go, swinging Helena about. She apparently had a sudden epiphany when she caught sight of Calypso again.

"I figgered out what you are!" she cried, pointing a finger at him with sudden ferocity. "You're a spy!"

Calypso and Zoro both stared at her for a moment. Then Calypso burst into loud laugher.

"Ah ha ha ha! A spy!" he guffawed. "I liked your bounty hunter theory better, mon. That means I've been here lying in wait to bring in your husband's big, empty head."

"Humm…then what are you?" Helena demanded. "A superhero?"

Zoro still had his katana in hand, and used the flat of it to swat Helena on the behind. "That's enough out of you."

* * *

Zoro carefully lifted the covers and lay Helena, fully dressed but free of her swords, in her bed. He'd already hung her swords in their usual spot from one of her bedposts.

Light from the hallway spilled over her as she settled into the pillows with her eyes half closed. When he turned to leave, she grasped him loosely by the hem of his sleeve.

"Zoro…" she whined. "Come to bed."

He shook his head at her. "I don't care if you're my wife," he told her flatly. "I'm not going to bed you drunk."

"But…" she blinked blearily at him. "You're leaving soon…"

"You're also exhausted," he reminded her. He'd been ready to murder Calypso, but maybe this was the only way she'd ever get a proper rest. "You do realize sleep is as important to your training as working out, right?"

Helena didn't answer him. Her grip had come loose from his sleeve and her eyes had fallen shut. She let out a soft snore.

"Maybe one day you'll learn the virtue of naps," he chuckled. Removing her crown, he planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

He turned and placed the laurel circlet on her nightstand, searching for the nightlight she kept there. It was gone. Well aware of his wife's fear of the dark, he looked around the room for it, but couldn't find it at first glance. Strange.

As Queen, Helena had a spacious bedroom with a good deal of sumptuous but practical furniture. Among other things, she had her vanity where she got ready for the day, her bookshelf, the table she and Kuina took lunch at together, a toy chest, a rocking chair…

–and tucked in one corner she had a writing desk with an electric lamp on it. That would have to do. Hopefully it wasn't too bright.

Zoro flipped the switch, blinking through the soft but sudden influx of light. When his vision cleared, his eye caught on an open letter box with several envelopes sticking out of it. The first one was addressed to him!

He reached for it, but then paused with his hand in the air. If she had wanted him to see it she would have given it to him, right? But then, it _did_ have his name on it.

He glanced back at Helena. She was still sound asleep. Curiosity mounting, he retrieved the letter. It wasn't sealed, so he slid it easily from the envelope and flipped it open.

 _"Beloved,"_ it read. " _I am well aware of our agreement, but I believe you have a right to know. You are going to be a father."_

Zoro's eye widened, taking in the date at the top of the letter. She had written it a month or so after he'd left.

The letter went on with some of what she had already told him; how Andromache, Hector, and Cygnus had figured out her pregnancy over lunch one afternoon. – how they had decided to keep the pregnancy under wraps for as long as they could manage. It detailed how they had sworn the palace doctor to secrecy. –how Andromache insisted on changing her training regimen. –how her father had kept asking her if she really felt fit to rule.

She didn't say anything about the kingdom specifically; just poured out her feelings of excitement and her fears. She signed it as his loving wife, just like the vivre card.

He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, and again glanced back at his Helena. What a difference it might have made if she had sent it to him!

When he turned back to the writing table, he noticed another envelope with his name on it now at the front of the letter box. He grabbed it, curiosity overcoming his earlier reticence, only to find another addressed to him beneath it, and another. The entire letter box, in fact, only contained letters for him!

" _Dearest Zoro,_ the second letter read, " _I decided not to send the last letter, as it seemed to be a breach of the provisos I put into place. I don't want to distract you or make you feel like you need to come home. Everything is fine here. Anyway, it could endanger our child should the letter be intercepted. I wish I could talk to you about names at least. If he's a boy, I was thinking maybe Aeneas or Telemachus. Both are good, strong Iliad names. I can't decide what I should name her if she's a girl…"_

"You picked good names without my help," Zoro murmured, smiling softly.

A creak out in the hallway made him pause. It was a servant walking by. Zoro stood and closed the door to ward off further interruptions, then quickly settled in to read more.

"… _I can't decide what I should name her if she's a girl. Pray the gods our child isn't a girl! I don't want her to go through what I did. Whatever happens though, I promise to keep our child safe."_

Zoro frowned pensively, realizing that these letters might not be a comfortable read. Here was the first inkling of the devastation Helena would face when she couldn't save both their children.

 _"…I've thrown away my nightlight," she went on, "I don't want our child to grow up encumbered by my fears. I've been training to overcome my fear of the dark, and I think I've realized that it's more a fear of what I can't defend against. That technique you taught me for cutting steel seems to be helping, actually.…"_

Her hope and self-confidence made him smile. Would that it would last!

Though he knew he was about to delve into the depths of her tragedy, he couldn't bring himself to stop reading. And just as he expected, he found more than he bargained for.


	29. Chapter 29 - Lotus Eater

A/N: And now for the weather. It's looking a bit gloomy, with a 100% chance of angst ahead. But don't worry, we'll be back to sunny, or at least only partially cloudy skies soon.

I actually teared up a bit writing this chapter. I dunno. I put Helena through a lot of crap the past few years, and now you get to hear about it. I guess we writers like to do that to our protagonists, don't we? Again, hopefully it's not too self-indulgent or saccharine. I needed to remind the reader of what Helena's been through for the final scene in this chapter to have any merit. Let me know if I went a bit overboard, yeah?

* * *

Ch. 29 – Lotus Eater

" _I suppose if I'm not sending these, it doesn't matter if I tell you a little about what's happening within the kingdom,"_ Zoro read.

He was almost halfway through the stack now. It looked as if Helena wrote him at least once every other week if not weekly. She generally wrote with a light-hearted tone, and often maintained that she would give the letters to him someday.

Her letters varied in length, and would mosey sometimes. She would write about things that reminded her of him, or things she thought he'd find interesting. She talked about her growing tummy, the baby kicking, or humorous bouts of hiding her pregnancy from the courtiers. One letter she'd been practically giddy thinking of him, and had even written him a terrible poem which made him chuckle.

The current letter didn't make him smile, however.

" _Father is trying to take the crown back from me. He's terrified I'll wreck the economy because I've closed off trade with the World Government, and believes my emotions are compromised by the pregnancy."_

For the first time she spoke of the state of the kingdom. She detailed things she had recently told him in person, but when she got through recounting her experiences with Bags, including how he had found out about the pregnancy, she went on with something that made his brow furrow in anger:

" _I found out that Father's been in touch with the royal lawyer, Quintilian du Aeschylus. You remember him I'm sure. Quin and Papa go way back, and he was hoping I guess that Quin could pull some strings for him. Unfortunately it backfired on him. In short, Quin told him that he had two options: convince me to abdicate, or start a civil war._

 _"As you can probably guess, I was pretty livid. Quintilian might not have intended to tell me, but he came to me wanting to retire. I wouldn't let him go until he told me why, and all this came to light. He's living comfortably in the countryside now, by the way. I think losing Troy was hard on him, and having to fight his closest friend was more than he could handle._

 _"I acknowledge that Father led Ilium in some of her most prosperous years in recorded history. He's far better at this than I am, and part of me is seriously tempted to let him have his way. But I have discovered that all along my dream has been vastly different than his. I told you I want to see Ilium prosper, but I realize in light of what your crew has done at Enies Lobby that my true dream is to see Ilium_ free. _Do you think it's possible?_

 _"Perhaps that's not the right question to ask. You and your crew don't worry about what's possible, do you?"_

Zoro had to set down the letter to gather himself. He and Cygnus had been getting along so well lately, too!

The next few letters didn't do much to mollify him toward his father-in-law. Cygnus kept pressuring Helena, adding to her already stressful load until…

He saw the date on the letter and realized what it contained before he started to read. It and the letters to follow didn't have envelopes. He forced himself to take it in like all the others, though the anger and sorrow in it was scalding:

It didn't even start with the usual, "Dear Zoro." She just got straight to the point:

" _How dare you!"_ she scrawled. " _How dare you die on me like this? How dare you lose after you defeated me? You were supposed to be stronger than me! You were supposed to protect me from this! Our son is dead because of you!"_

Zoro cringed. That was all that the first letter said. It had been crumpled, perhaps thrown in the trash. But she'd apparently changed her mind about keeping it.

" _Zoro,_ " the next letter started. " _Why am I even writing this? I guess it's either this or therapy. I am_ not _going to therapy. I wonder if you've met our son in the underworld. There's some comfort in thinking that he might be there with you. You probably already know then that we have a daughter too…"_

She went on to tell him about how Telemachus had died, and about Kuina. He didn't think it was possible, but it was even more painful hearing it a second time. In this water-stained letter, a letter to a dead man, Helena didn't hold back her impressions, descriptions, or anger. Everything was raw and fresh to her, so it became raw and fresh to him.

" _I don't know how to mourn you. It's shameful to mourn a person before burial, but I have nothing to bury. No proof of your death. I don't mean to dishonor you, but I haven't even organized an official Funeral Games for you. When a child dies, the funeral games are made specifically for the children to participate in, so I can't even say I combined yours with his. Every tear I've shed over you has been shameful and a disgrace to your memory. But then, maybe you deserve to be disgraced."_

She couldn't seem to make up her mind if she hated him or not. He knew that they were long past this now, but he looked up at her with some trepidation as though he could find some reassurance in her peaceful face.

" _I cut my hair,"_ she said in the next letter, dated the next day. _"I used to keep your bandana in my ponytail, but I cut the whole thing off. I won't let anyone fix it either; it looks terrible. I need to mourn you somehow. I need to mourn our son._

" _Athena appeared to me soon after I wrote the last letter_. _She says you're still alive . –She also once encouraged me to barter my kingdom for a swordmatch; that it would be best for Ilium's future. But that turned my best friend into a jealous, murderous monster who_ besieged _the kingdom, didn't it? Then she said you'd protect me from what I fear, and you never came. I don't see why I should believe her manipulations now._

 _"She gave me something, though. A lotus blossom that was cultivated in the river Lethe. She claims that I will see you again, and when I do I should give it to you. If you eat it you will forget the thing you care most about – your crew – and you'll stay here with me._

Zoro stared at the page, rereading the sentence a few times to make sure he understood. She had a means of trapping him here? Athena _wanted_ her to trap him here?

" _I should let it give me hope that I can see you again one day, but you can't be alive. It's just not possible. Not after the death of our son. Not after what has happened.–No, I've kept the lotus in case I need it for myself. You'd think that the thing that I care most about would be my kingdom or my beautiful baby girl, but I know deep down that you are the one I'll forget if I eat it._

 _"I'm just not sure it would be wise to forget. Zoro, I know we were only together for a short time, but you see in my past letters, or I guess you_ won't _see, that you changed me into the woman I wanted to become. –into the_ Queen _I wanted to become. But now she's dead with you and your crew. I don't know how to find her again. I'm not even sure who I am anymore."_

The letter went on to talk about Hera's involvement in their son's death, and the next letter talked about destroying the temple in detail. It brought Zoro some satisfaction, but the unbridled emotion in it was overwhelming. Having her husband, son, vision for the future, and faith in the gods ripped from her so mercilessly had pushed her to the brink of madness, and it killed him to witness it with front row clarity.

 _"The gods are tormenting me! I keep seeing your face everywhere! Hearing your voice! Mostly I ignore it, but this morning I saw you standing in the garden in your wedding clothes. It was raining, but you weren't wet. Was it your shade? You led me to the ruins of the temple of Hera and then disappeared. I came to my senses there in front of the temple, lying in my dressing gown in a puddle of mud. I had a grey feather in my hand._

 _"Athena is trying to get me to make amends with Hera, I'm sure of it. I won't let her continue to taunt me like this! –I have forbidden anyone to worship her or any of the gods. The people think I'm mad. The priests have branded me a heretic…."_

" _I've caused a famine,"_ Helena confessed in a letter to follow. In the next, " _I've caused a plague. My people are suffering because of me. They're dying! What do I do? The gods are tyrants, Zoro. Vicious, vindictive tyrants. How can I allow their worship any more than I allow trade with our oppressors?"_

 _"…Your captain was just in the news. I was so relieved to know he's alive, but I am saddened at his loss. First to lose you, and then to lose his brother. I hope he's alright…"_

 _"…Father has threatened a coup. He took our daughter from me. He told me I'm not fit to be Queen much less a mother if I continue to allow the people to suffer for my own selfish pride. The suitors are driving me mad, but I can't afford to offend them…"_

The next letter: " _I've reinstated temple worship. I've made offerings to all the gods but one. (I'm sure you can guess which.) I've even let the royal hair dresser fix my hair. I'm going to take a few months off to gather myself and spend time with my baby. I'll let Father reinstate things as he sees fit with the World Government. Perhaps I'll let him take the crown back for good."_

And the next: " _Gods, I miss you, Zoro. Whatever side of the Styx you are on, I hope you are well."_

Zoro's whole being had tensed with sorrow. His vision blurred for a moment and he stood, pacing to try and shake the feeling away. _This was her then, not now_ , he reminded himself. _She is doing better now. We've worked through this already. She knows I'm alive, that I'm on her side. That I won't leave her again._

That last thought made him stop short, staring at Helena in dismay. He sank down into the chair by the writing desk, pulling the mask from his face as though it could help him clear his head.

"Helena, what am I supposed to do?" he murmured. "How am I supposed to abandon you to all of this all over again?"

His wife tossed in her sleep, making him jump in surprise. She seemed pretty restless for someone as drunk as she was.

He watched Helena with baited breath. Though she tossed a few more times, she didn't wake. After a minute her breathing settled, and so did Zoro's. With a sigh, he turned back to the writing desk, placing the mask on the corner.

There were still more letters. The next one was dated a few months later than the last.

" _Father has asked me to return to the throne,"_ Helena wrote, and Zoro's eyebrows shot up in surprise. " _He says he wants me to have a chance to make restitution for my mistakes. –that if I can't gain back the people's favor now, I'll struggle more to do it later. I guess he sees I've been humbled. I don't know how to win back my people's trust, but I guess I can start with making sure Agamemnon and the Sea Prism business thrive by any means possible. Everyone likes prosperity."_

Zoro didn't think he could be mollified toward Cygnus after the way he'd treated Helena, but if the fact that he willingly returned the throne to her softened him some, it was nothing to the next letter:

" _Father insisted on organizing the Ares Celebration this year. He invited old war veterans, amputees actually, who fought to defend us from Buster Call when I was born, and even older, veterans from my grandfather's day. He arranged to have them publically thank me for healing them with Apollo's Arrow. I was touched, but as I believe was his intention, so were the people. I seem to be rising again in public estimation. Father has made sure to call me Sun Queen as often as possible…"_

The time she had taken off had clearly done her a lot of good. The tone of her letters changed after that:

"… _Our daughter is beautiful, Zoro. She looks a lot like you, but she has my eyes. She took her first step the other day…"_

 _"…She's developed a biting problem! I have no idea what to do. She actually bit through the molding in the wall last night. She only has three teeth for Zeus' sake!…"_

"… _Kuina said her first word. It was 'Ax.' Well, it sort of sounds like that.— Astyanax is currently her favorite. I guess I don't get to spend as much time with her as I'd like…"_

 _"…She's figured out how to turn doorknobs. She escaped my room this morning. Fortunately she didn't get far before Papa caught her. He gave her such a pinching!..."_

 _"…I never should have let her try chocolate sandwich cookies. Now she's constantly asking me for them…"_

 _"…I forgot to mention, I took up knitting to try and avoid the throne room. I told the suitors I needed to knit you a funeral shroud. Suckers. I'm all thumbs at it, really, but just today I discovered I'm much better at doing it with my toes. Kuina thinks it's a riot. She imitates me with chopsticks…"_

But every now and then she'd write something that shattered the happy images of young parenthood. " _The kingdom seems to be doing better now, but I am not. Though it seems like I've made a lot of the decisions, I base most of them on what Father wants me to do. He's wiser than I am I guess, but this isn't the Ilium I wanted."_

 _"…I almost skewered one of the suitors today. Prince Pompadour of Macaroni. He's a weak, mewling little milquetoast without an ounce of grey-matter beneath his oversized wig. Well, anyway, one of the other suitors stopped me before I caused a war, and helped calmed me down. His name is Calypso Blue. He's probably the only decent swordsman, indeed, the only decent_ man _in the bunch. You'd probably like him..."_

Zoro snorted. She'd definitely been off on her estimation with that one. Her letters started mentioning him more:

 _"…Mr. Calypso actually got the others to leave me alone for an entire evening by challenging everyone to a pickle ball tournament. Pickle ball. Seriously. These princes wouldn't know a good sport if it bit them on the nose. I was able to turn my attention to the soldiers who have gone missing. More have disappeared, and I'm more than a little concerned…"_

 _"…I owe a great debt to Mr. Calypso again today. He stopped a fight from breaking out over the propriety of tri cornered hats. You wouldn't believe what these ignoramuses think of as intelligent conversation. He's a witty man, and seems to know how to play the princes like the idiots they are…"_

 _"…Mr. Calypso found me out this evening. He discovered that I've been unknitting that 'funeral shroud' of yours by night. Actually, he said he'd figured it out a year ago, but now the others have too so he came to warn me. Pompadour and his brother Popinjay went to Mr. Bags for help. I can't help but wonder what sort of connection they have with our World Government Liaison. I'm having Paris look into it now._

 _"Zoro. Ann mentioned you today, and it made me so angry I snapped at her. I'm sorry I can't seem to decide how to feel toward you, even almost two years later. Some days are better than others, but we're approaching the anniversary of your death. Yours and Telemachus'. Ann seems to think I should move on, and that it's not healthy for me to visit Telemachus' tree every day. I know Hector and my Father agree with her._

 _"They're all rooting for this Mr. Calypso I keep mentioning, but I don't know. It bothers me that he's been here from the beginning but done nothing to train himself to cut through the axes. His flirtatiousness can be a bit irksome, as it seems to be a cover for who he really is. I guess I'm just a bit paranoid, but when it comes to the throne, it's my job to be paranoid, isn't it?_

" _Perhaps I_ should _move on. If you are alive somewhere, you wouldn't want me back in any case. I am no longer the woman you fell in love with. I am a weak, acquiescent coward, and I think it unfair that you be chained down by my name. Though I am grateful for the privilege of knowing our daughter, in some ways I wish you and I had never met, for both our sakes."_

Zoro crumpled the letter in his hand after reading the final line. It was the last one; she'd written it two nights ago. Part of him wanted to wake her up, to shake the sense back into her. The more logical part of him realized that this wasn't her anymore. His return had changed her, right?

Helena let out a sudden gasp, shooting upright in bed. It startled Zoro so much that he whipped around to look at her, knocking the ceramic mask from the corner of the desk. It landed on the tile floor, shattering into several pieces.

He was still too surprised to think of hiding his face, but it didn't matter. She stared straight past him, unseeing. On her lap was a light grey owl's feather.

Athena had brought her a dream.

* * *

Helena's heart pounded in her chest, so fast and hard it burned through the hazy, drunken exhaustion that would have otherwise ruined the rest of her evening with Zoro. She couldn't shake the feeling her dream had given her, nor the horrific images running through her mind.

She had seen fire falling from the sky. – the walls of Ilium collapsing. –her people in chains. She had seen her hands awash in their blood.

And then the blood turned to the pink lotus in her hands. She heard Athena's voice, soft yet powerful enough to make her skin prickle.

" _You will give this blossom to your husband or suffer ten times what you have suffered, Daughter of Prometheus. Even death itself will bring you no relief."_

And then she relived the very worst of the past two years, as though Athena wished to drive into her just what she'd be putting herself through again if she allowed Zoro to leave. Interspersed with these memories of her own shameful descent into madness, she saw more images of the walls collapsing, heard her people screaming, saw her father maimed, saw Kuina ripped from her by enemy hands.

She saw so much pain and anguish that when she finally awoke, she saw nothing else for a long moment. Soon her eyes focused on the feather in her lap.

Taking it delicately between two fingers, she slid from beneath the covers and made her way to her vanity where she kept the lotus blossom, still perfectly fresh in its crystalline water bowl. Heart still racing, she seated herself before the blossom but didn't touch it until her heart and thoughts had calmed some.

Unaware of her audience, who hadn't taken his eye off of her since she'd awoken, she carefully lay the feather down and lifted the blossom from the bowl. It dripped water across her vanity top as she brought it beneath her nose.

She'd never allowed herself to smell it before. It didn't smell like a flower; it smelled like spun sugar or frosting. –Like it would melt in the mouth. For a moment she was tempted to taste it, just to see if it would.

That temptation became more than a desire for physical satisfaction when the pink petals started to glow in her hand, emitting a strange energy. It seemed to draw all of her love and sorrow to the forefront, pulling on the emotion she would forget if she consumed it, tempting her with freedom after everything she had just relived in her dream.

A simple image pervaded her vision. – the image of watching Zoro sail away the first time. Her throat tightened as her heart threatened to break all over again.

Despite the command of the goddess, Helena desired the bloom for herself. More than anything now, she wanted to forget the thing she loved most. With shaking hands, she lifted the lotus to her lips.


	30. Chapter 30 - Without Saying Goodbye

A/N: So I apologize for the melodrama of the last chapter. I really wanted to bring in the idea of the lotus eaters from Homer's Odyssey, and this was the most original idea I could come up with.

Only one (really short) chapter left after this, and it will include a (really short) epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me this far!

* * *

Ch. 30 – Without Saying Goodbye

Zoro forced himself to watch her.

After all the pain he had heaped on her by his failure, he knew he didn't have the right to a say in this. She had to decide on her own. If she really wanted to give him up rather than watch him go, he understood completely, especially now.

She hesitated with the lotus partway between her parted lips. Her whole body shook with nerves.

" _Happiness awaits you, Queen Helena."_

Helena paused. The voice came from the feather lying before her.

" _You have a right to the man who has your heart. Don't erase him. Keep him here with you. He will protect you and everything you love."_

She lowered the blossom.

"This is for Zoro…" she murmured.

Zoro felt his heart catch.

" _That's right,"_ Athena insisted.

Helena's fists closed suddenly around the blossom, crushing it.

"You will tempt me no further, Athena," Helena whispered to it fiercely. "I am not your pawn. Zoro is not my slave. We will decide our own fate."

She stood, grabbing the feather in a shaking fist. Throwing open the glass doors leading to her balcony, she lifted her hands and allowed the feather and crushed petals to scatter in the wind. They both disappeared in a small flash of light as soon as they left her hand.

"I would have eaten it if you had given it to me."

Zoro's voice made her stiffen in sudden realization of his presence. He turned back to the writing desk, knowing she would whip around to look at him.

"Zoro!" she gasped. "How did you…?"

"I mean, I kind of owe you as much after all the garbage I put you through," he went on, lifting a handful of the letters with a sharp flick of his wrist.

"No," she cried. "Zoro, you weren't supposed to read those!"

"Well, they did have my name on them."

"But I wrote them with no filter!" Her voice came out muffled, and he knew she had covered her face in her hands. "I didn't think you would ever see them! They were like a diary! Gods, you must be so ashamed of me."

"Hey, it wasn't all bad," he reassured her. "Sometimes it's nice to hear your thoughts without a filter. That poem you wrote dedicated to my abs, for instance…"

Helena let out a squeak of embarrassment and he chuckled.

"Turn around," he commanded gently. "I don't have my mask."

He glanced around carefully to make sure she complied, then approached her where she stood with her back to him in the open doorway. After reading everything he'd read, it came as a relief to put his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to him.

"Thank you," he murmured. "Part of me wishes you had made the choice for me, but you've elected to do the honorable thing. I shouldn't have expected any less."

"The choice was already made a long time ago, my Love," Helena reminded him softly. "You aren't going to stay here. You can't. Don't make me have you kidnapped again."

Zoro snorted. "Hm, well, you can't have me kidnapped if you can't catch me."

"Zoro…" she reproached, still all business.

"I could hide out in the woods. Kuina will bring me chocolate sandwich cookies."

Helena laughed and he kissed the side of her face, glad for the small triumph.

"Tell me honestly," he murmured to her, kissing her again. "If I truly wanted to stay, would you let me?"

She sighed, leaning back against him in a weary silence.

"I missed her first…everything, Helena. Her first smile, her first steps, her first words," he pleaded. "I know nothing about being a father, but I know one thing for sure. I'm not going to learn to be a better one by leaving her. Anyway, can I really call myself a man if I leave you both here to face the possibility of more Hell like the last two years have been?"

"You're going to have to," Helena told him.

"Right, right," Zoro sighed. "You'll banish me."

"No," she said firmly, standing up straight. His arms slid from around her in the wake of her resolve. "Because I need you out there, Zoro. _Ilium_ needs you out there."

He stared at the side of her face as she gazed with determination out over her kingdom.

"You need to understand; these last few years haven't been Hell because you weren't here," she explained softly. "They've been Hell because I lost faith in...everything! Most especially myself. But now that you're back, now that the ship of dreams will sail again, I know what I want, and I'm willing to go through Hell all over again it if it comes to that."

"A free Ilium?" Zoro ventured.

"A free Ilium," Helena affirmed. "And to obtain it, I need you out there shaking up the world. I've seen what you can do Zoro. You're a calamity! I'm sure the others have gotten stronger too. I can see no better tie to form right now, no more important political connection, than what I've formed with you and your crew."

"I don't understand," he said. "Helena, we aren't out there trying to overthrow the government. We only ever fight them if they get in our way."

"Ah, but they are perpetually in your way, are they not?" Helena pointed out with a sly grin. "As they are in mine. That's the nature of our dreams. I see no better way to shake them to their core than for the role of Pirate King to be filled by one such as Monkey D. Luffy. –Not only that, but to steal position of World's Greatest Swordsman from under their thumb! For better or worse, Ilium's name will be tied to your accomplishments, and those of the rest of your crew. I only wish I could go with you…"

She sighed wistfully.

"You _could_ come with me though," he attempted quietly. "You wanna shake up the world? Do it yourself!"

Helena cocked her head to one side contemplatively. It gave Zoro hope, so he pressed it:

"Helena, you need a master," he told her matter-of-factly. "Think about it! There is so much I could teach you if you joined me at sea. You owe it to yourself AND to your country to become strong. Strong enough that you don't need me to protect you. You have it in you, I've already seen it!"

"Luffy _did_ invite me to join the crew," Helena said pensively.

Zoro grinned. Of course he had. "I think your father can watch over Ilium for a year or so, can't he?"

"You're right. He could. He's much stronger now," Helena mused. "And I believe he and I are starting to see eye to eye now. Mostly. Maybe…."

"So you'll do it?"

A smile crept onto her cheeks. It was a moment before she spoke, but when she did the smile didn't falter. "Yes," she affirmed, nodding decisively. "I think I shall."

Forgetting everything in his elation, Zoro spun her toward him. She covered her face with her hands crying: "We're still in Ilium, you fool!"

"Then you should probably close your eyes," he asserted, moving her hands so he could kiss her properly.

She laughed as he shamelessly, elatedly kissed her again and again, but before too long her laughter faded and she placed an impeding hand upon his chest.

"Wait," she said. "Zoro, wait. We're forgetting one small, important detail."

"What's that?" Zoro asked, his heart sinking.

"Kuina," she said flatly.

Zoro sighed. "Kuina," he repeated, letting his forehead thump dejectedly against her shoulder.

"A pirate ship is no place for her," Helena pointed out.

"No, it's not," Zoro agreed, frowning.

"And she needs at least one of her parents, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Zoro replied. "Or at the very least, she deserves it."

"That means I can't go with you."

Zoro sighed again, his prior elation making the return to earth that much more painful. Children certainly complicated things.

A depressing silence passed between them, and Helena finally turned away. "…getting hard not to look at you," she grumbled, walking away from him and leaning out over the balcony railing.

"Can you promise me a few things?" he asked, following her so he could lean on the balcony beside her.

"No more promises. It's hard enough keeping track of the ones we've got," Helena replied, over-dramatically looking away from him to emphasize her point.

Zoro chuckled. Removing the bandana from his arm, he folded it into a blindfold and tied it around her eyes. "That better?" he asked, sliding himself between her and the balcony railing so she'd lean on him instead.

She smirked at him. "Oh, sure," she chortled. "Lots better. What happened to your mask, anyway?"

"It fell on the floor."

"It broke?" Helena deadpanned. "After you fought an entire battle in it, the _floor_ did it in?"

"It had a weak sense of resolve," Zoro defended flatly.

She laughed, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Alright, what are these things you'd have me promise if we were making promises?"

"First, that you'll find someone to teach you about Haki," Zoro said. It was nice being able to look at her straight on, even if she couldn't look back at him. He placed his hands firmly on the side of her face so she'd sense how important this was to him.

"But who?" she asked, then let out a groan. "Oh, don't tell me."

"Yeah, Short-Stuff knows a thing or two," Zoro conceded begrudgingly. "It couldn't hurt to ask him for a few pointers. Banish him if he gets fresh with you."

"I tried getting him to leave once already, remember?"

"Twice actually," Zoro pointed out. She probably didn't recall. She'd been drunk the second time. While it appeared her drunken stupors passed relatively quickly, they had always been powerful enough to affect her memory; hence she always denied her inability to handle alcohol. "Well, there's always the dungeon. Or you could cut off his dreadlocks. Or something. That would send a message."

Helena snorted.

"And another thing," Zoro intoned seriously. "You know we could have avoided a lot of heartache if we'd just kept in touch."

"Zoro…" Helena reproached.

"Nowhere in your provisos have you said that I can't write to you," Zoro said. "It's not like you can stop me from doing that."

"But the point is to keep from distracting you…" Helena tried to cut in.

" _And_ ," Zoro plowed on. "Though you told Luffy that I am not to have news of Ilium or its Queen, you said nothing about our daughter. I want you to write to me about Kuina."

"So this is the revision to the Provisos you want, then? To hear news of Ilium's Princess?" Helena asked, drawing his memory back to the conversation they'd had in front of Telemachus' tree.

Zoro nodded, momentarily forgetting she couldn't see him. "If you're going to send me away from her to fight for your free Ilium, then I think I have a right to know something about her every now and again."

Helena smiled. "Alright, fair enough. Soon enough she'll be able to write to you herself. She's pretty sharp you know."

"Yeah, she gets that from her mom."

Helena smiled at him wryly. "She gets it from having a grandfather who constantly drills her like he drilled me as a kid."

"Pops the taskmaster," Zoro chortled. "You sure she's going to be ok staying with him tonight?"

"The question you should be asking is, is _he_ going to ok?" Helena chuckled. "Five thousand berries says he doesn't get a wink of sleep."

"She slept ok for me," Zoro noted. "It was the rude awakening I didn't appreciate."

"Don't tell me she sat on your head."

"Right on my face. Repeatedly."

"Welcome to my world!" Helena laughed heartily.

Zoro smiled at her fondly as she laughed. Warrior, Queen, Mother. Helena wore many hats, and she wore them well. He thought of what he'd just learned of her past two years trying to juggle her many responsibilities, and the last paragraph of her most recent letter struck his heart with force.

 _"…I am no longer the woman you fell in love with. I am a weak, acquiescent coward, and I think it unfair that you be chained down by my name..."_

"Zoro?" Helena asked. She had stopped laughing as his arms had tightened possessively around her. "What's wrong?"

He didn't know how to begin to explain that she was the opposite of those things. Like the last time he'd been alone with her in her bedroom, he saw this beauty in her that he worried she didn't see or understand.

"Helena, you're just so…" he started, unsure how to finish. Beautiful? No, that word felt inadequate. "Stupid," he said.

"Excuse me?" Helena huffed. "Was that your idea of romantic?"

Not really. "You say stupid things sometimes. That's all."

"Look who's talking…!" she started to retort, but he cut her off with a kiss. He was tired of talking. After all, they had better things to do.

* * *

Fighting a losing battle with sleep, Zoro lay contentedly curled against his wife, listening to her heartbeat slow in time with his. It didn't help that she had started to gently run her fingers through his hair. He should probably move or something soon. He shouldn't risk wasting what little time they had on sleep, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed.

"Zoro?" she murmured to him after a while.

"Mm?" he hummed.

"There's something I don't understand," she went on pensively. "How is it you can read what you read in those letters and still…" She paused, and so did the head rub. He let out an involuntary whine. "No, nevermind," she said, and her fingers starting up again.

Zoro groaned internally. She wasn't going to make him pull it out of her was she? "And still what?" he demanded quietly. And still love her? She'd better not be about to ask that.

"Respect me," Helena went on vulnerably.

Ah, yes. His respect had always been pretty important to her.

"It's just that I was sure if you knew, I mean really knew how far I fell," she hesitated again. "I lost sight of my dreams so completely. But you! You have never wavered! How can someone so strong respect someone like me?"

Again the words at the end of her last letter struck him with force. Well, here was his chance to address all this. –If he could find the right way to say it.

"There you go, saying stupid things again," he sighed, sitting up and scrubbing the sleep from his face. When he'd cleared up his vision some, he turned to look back at her where she lay against the pillows. She didn't return his gaze.

Not that she could. She still wore the blindfold. Something about her posture and the way she turned her face away from him made her look ashamed that she had even asked though. He hadn't meant for it to come out like a reprimand. Maybe he should choose his words more carefully.

"You think I've never wavered?" he asked.

She let out a snort. "When have you ever…?"

"I can think of one instance that happened in this very room, for starters," he pointed out.

Helena shook her head. "You worked me into your dream, Zoro; you never lost sight of it," she pointed out, a smile teasing her face.

 _Yeah, sure_ , he thought sardonically. He knew she was thinking about the first time, when he'd almost stayed with an excuse that Andromache could train him to beat her brother. He'd actually been thinking about this time, though, when he'd been tempted to stay and watch his daughter grow up. He'd made no provisions about continuing his dream in that. If he were honest with himself, he'd never intended to give it up, but she couldn't have known that for sure.

No use babbling on about it though.

"Then there was the Altar of Dido…" Zoro went on, and her smile faltered.

"Please don't tell me I'm your stumbling block, Zoro, that I'm that one thing that could hold a man like you back," she pleaded. "Some girls might find that romantic, but I have never wanted to be your dead weight…"

He let a scarred finger trail over her lips to seal them before she could keep spouting things he didn't want to answer. He was struggling to make her see what he meant as it was.

"No, listen," he insisted. "That moment was important for me. I'm used to putting my life on the line for my crew, but I discovered that I could sacrifice my pride for someone I care about. And that's made all the difference."

"Are you talking about what happened with Kuma?" Helena asked. "When you saved Luffy?"

"Who do you think was my inspiration?" he demanded. "Who do you think got me through all that?"

Helena flushed, but said nothing.

"How can I help but respect someone who is willing to take on the pain of all her people?" he demanded. "Helena, between the two of us, you've always been the heroic one. The selfless one. Have you ever considered that maybe I'm the one dragging _you_ down?"

Her breath caught and she pursed her lips as though holding back something she wanted to say.

"What?" he demanded.

"You saw in my letters," she said, sitting up and speaking in her careful diplomatic way, "That you turned me into the Queen I wanted to be. And I'm going to return to being that Queen in the days to come; you are far from dragging me anywhere but upwards, Roronoa Zoro."

He smirked, but she went on before he could say anything, "– And while I am glad I was able to help you in a moment of crises, that was all based on the woman I was before I humbled myself to my demons. I wasn't strong enough to stand up to my own Kumas in the end, was I?"

"You wanna talk about humbling yourself to your demons?" Zoro chortled. "That's right, I haven't told you where I've been the past few years."

She cocked her head curiously. "No, you haven't," she said. "I've been meaning to ask…"

Oh, this was going to be good. Zoro leaned in close to her. "Can you keep a secret?" he whispered playfully in her ear.

Helena chuckled. "I think we both know I'm a little too good at keeping secrets," she reminded him wryly.

"I was training with Mihawk."

Helena's reaction was everything he could have hoped. She gasped, and her mouth hung open, spluttering wordlessly in shock while he chuckled.

. "Did I hear you right?" she managed at last. " _Mihawk_ agreed to train you? As in, the greatest swordsman in the world? How in Hades did that happen?"

Zoro's amusement at her reaction quieted. "Because I begged him," he confessed softly. "I got down on my knees and begged."

Helena's still gaping mouth slowly shut as she took in his serious tone. "You did it for Luffy again, didn't you."

Zoro hummed an affirmative response.

"You humbled yourself to your biggest demon," Helena went on slowly, understanding creeping into her tone and what he could see of her face. "And you're the stronger for it."

"Now you're getting it," he said with relief.

"And you say you're not heroic," Helena chided with a playful smile.

"Nah, I don't want to be a hero," Zoro insisted, flopping down beside her on the bed. "A hero has to share his sake, see. I want to keep it all for myself."

Helena let out a gut laugh, and Zoro thanked whatever gods were still praiseworthy that they'd finally navigated out of dangerous territory.

"What's that supposed to even mean?" Helena demanded, chuckling.

"Well," Zoro started with a note of mischief in his tone. "I guess it means that I'm a pirate. Pirates get to take whatever treasure they want…and not share."

She snorted. "So sake is your treasure huh?" she teased, stifling a yawn.

His arms shot out around her, pulling her giggling on top of him in a tangle of sheets before she could escape. "Not even close," he told her seriously as she laughed. "Try again."

"Help! A pirate's got me! He's going to carry me off!" Helena joked. He could tell she realized his meaning but was too embarrassed to acknowledge it.

"Exactly," he said, and even he wasn't sure if he was joking or not. " _Exactly."_

* * *

Zoro awoke to sunlight in his eyes. The offending beam had just made its way through a crack in Helena's thin curtains.

"Don't tell me it's morning," the pirate groaned, pulling Helena closer to him. She had her back to him, and he hid his face between her shoulder blades. "When did we fall asleep?"

She didn't answer. When he got his bearings a little more, he propped himself up on one elbow to get a better look at her.

"Helena?" he murmured to her again, but she slept soundly on.

The blindfold had come loose from over her eyes. Gingerly he reached toward it and tugged it free, revealing her lovely face. Golden dawn light brushed gently over her fine facial features, spilled down her neck and illuminated her scared skin – the skin etched with her life story. The light of it made her glow with an almost spiritual beauty.

Zoro thought his heart would explode. It was so much harder this time. Before, he'd only been tempted to stay by a sleepy sense of contentment. Now he knew her so much better, loved her so much more deeply. Only a few days in her company had done that; imagine a lifetime!

She stirred, turning toward him to cuddle drowsily into his chest. "S'it morning already?" she mumbled into him.

"No," he murmured, stroking her hair. "We've got some time, yet. Go back to sleep."

Not surprisingly, she did almost instantly. She'd probably sleep for a month given the chance. Two years of exhaustion had finally caught up with her.

He held her there a moment longer, trying to stave off the growing dread of his departure as the sun rose higher in the orange-gold sky. He tried to drink in the look of her, the feel of her, even the smell of her. He wanted to etch it all into his memory, to fill his cup before he had to step away.

It wasn't enough.

It would never be enough.

* * *

The Queen of Ilium awoke fully at last, light teasing playfully at her eyelids. The bandana had disappeared. The bed felt different too somehow, less weighted, less warm.

She curled up beneath the linens but didn't dare open her eyes to confirm. She wanted to hold on to the feeling of his presence for as long as she possibly could. Soon, though, she couldn't deny that the bed felt different, less comfortable, less occupied. His weight had disappeared from beside her.

Zoro had gone without saying goodbye.


	31. Chapter 31 - Kidnapped Bride

A/N: Final chapter and Epilogue! As before, stay tuned for the afterword (which will go up later today or tomorrow). If you liked this story, it'll be worth your while.

* * *

Ch. 31 – Kidnapped Bride

Helena soon noticed some things other than the less cozy bed and the missing bandana. The room was rocking. Why would the palace be rocking? And she smelled the ocean. The ocean's breezes rarely reached as far as her room.

Her eyes shot open and she gasped in shock. This was not her bedroom. Cherry stained wooden walls, small, square windows, plush, woven rugs. She was in the cabin of her own trireme. It didn't take her long to surmise how she had gotten there.

She threw off the covers, stumbling as she tried and failed at first to find her sea legs. A moment later she had slammed open the cabin door, only to see Zoro standing with his back to her there on the upper deck, gazing out at the open ocean.

"Zoro!" she screeched.

"Oh, you're awake," he said conversationally, not turning to her.

"What. In. _Hades_ is going on?!"

"I thought it was obvious," he said. "I kidnapped you."

"You _what?!"_ Helena raged. "How could you…? Why would you…? What about Kuina?!"

"I kidnapped her too," he said proudly, pointing at the lower deck ahead of them.

"WHAT?" Helena cried, running to the railing of the upper deck to see her daughter happily chasing one of Perona's spooks below.

The ghost princess herself lay comfortably on a lawn chair set up beneath a giant umbrella. She munched a bagel sandwich as she lazily directed the hollows in loops around the deck.

"Hey, you hit her with one of your stupid ghosts and you'll be sorry!" Zoro called down to her.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry," Perona called back.

"ZORO!" Helena snapped.

"Yes?" Zoro replied, turning to her.

"Aah!" She quickly turned away. "You don't have your mask, remember?"

"Oh, you're right. One second," Zoro said, turning to look out at sea once more. "Or maybe two…"

A blast of cold air slammed into Helena, and she threw her arms around herself shivering. "What the…?"

"There, we're out of Ilium's waters," Zoro informed her, turning back to her shamelessly. "We just passed free of the summer climate. Now we don't have to worry about that little proviso anymore."

"You smug little…!" Helena started, but then stopped short when she caught sight of his face for the first time in over two years. He was more rugged than she remembered. More mischievous. He wore the same look of confidence, though; the man who never doubted himself.

"What happened to your eye?" she asked, gingerly touching his face. Naturally she had already noticed it was missing, but the scar reached farther than she realized.

"Oh, that's a long story…" Zoro started, but Helena cut him off.

The cold air had just started to get to her, and as she shivered she noticed her clothes, or almost complete lack thereof, for the first time. She had on nothing more than a short, silky night gown. Something she'd never wear in front of anyone but her husband.

"Zoro, you kidnapped me in my lingerie!" she cried, attempting to cover herself. At that precise moment she noticed that the rows and rows of oarsmen, a common commodity on board a trireme, were all staring at her with interest. "Where are my clothes?!"

"Oops! I guess I forgot to pack you some," Zoro replied, smacking his forehead.

"ZORO!" Helena cried in dismay.

"Well, I had to kidnap you so quickly. At least you're not naked."

"ZORO!"

"What? I for one am not complaining," he said, smirking at her.

"ZORO!" Helena shrieked. "You turn this boat around RIGHT NOW!"

Zoro laughed heartily, removing his long green coat and wrapping her in it. "Of course I brought you clothes," he said. "I'm not stupid!"

Helena pulled the warm coat around her, but glared icicles at him without saying a word.

"Ok, ok, calm down," he pleaded. "I'm not kidnapping you for good. Just as far as Saobody. I talked to your father, and he agreed a vacation would do you some good."

"A vacation…?" Helena asked incredulously. "I've got responsibilities back home! I mean, we just fought a small war! It'll look bad if I just leave at a time like this!"

"Not really," Zoro said. "Like I said, your father and I worked it out. He's already planning to tell everyone you are sailing out on a…how'd he put it? On a 'diplomatic mission to seal your ties with a powerful, independent entity.'"

Helena chuffed. "Who?"

Zoro raised an eyebrow at her. "The Straw Hat Pirates. Who else?"

Helena stared at him a moment, completely flabbergasted.

"Well, you said something like that yourself, didn't you?"

"Y-yes," she spluttered. "Yes, I suppose I did."

"Anyway, I'm not missing my daughter's birthday," Zoro went on. "There's an amusement park at Saobody, did you know?"

"Yes! And slave traders, and world government officials, and Zeus knows who else that would love to get their hands on her!"

"Which is why I brought Hector along," Zoro said, waving to the deck below.

The General had just appeared on deck. Catching Kuina as she ran to him, he tossed her into the air to peals of adorable giggles.

"Hey!" Perona snapped. "Bring me some hot cocoa! It's freezing out here!"

"I'm a General, not a servant," Hector said, throwing her a glare before turning back to Kuina. "Isn't that right Little Princess?"

"Higher, Uncle Hecky! Higher!"

"Humph…some royal yacht this turned out to be," Perona grumped. "I'm glad I didn't marry you, stupid bunny. You are so not cute."

"I told you, I'm already married, you weirdo!"

"See, if she goes missing, Hector can possess the whole Archipelago and find her in a heartbeat," Zoro said, placing his hands on Helena's shoulders. "Not that I think anything will happen to her. I mean, she's got pretty fierce parents."

Helena chuckled, half amused but mostly still shocked. "I…suppose a short vacation couldn't hurt," she conceded. "And it'll be nice to see Luffy and the others again."

"That's more like it," Zoro said with a grin. "Now…" He scooped her up in his arms, turning back toward the cabin. "I think it's about time we had our honeymoon. Wouldn't you agree, Ohimesama?"

"Yes indeed," she laughed. "After all, you did just kidnap your bride, Zoro-Kun."

* * *

* Epilogue *

Helena marched through the now familiar groves of Saobody, her teeth gritted as she led Kuina by the hand. _Where is that idiot_? she snarled inwardly.

Kuina sniffled to herself, understandably distraught. After all, her Papa had promised to meet them and had probably gotten lost. Again.

 _The groves have NUMBERS!_ She thought. _Even he should be able to manage that!_

Of course, she shouldn't really be surprised. When they had first arrived at Saobody, she had had to help him find his way to Shakky's Bar, even with Rayleigh's vivre card and the numbered groves working in their favor. Zoro had been delighted to discover that he was the first to arrive:

" _They never change_ ," he'd said of the crew with a smug smirk of satisfaction. His wife soon smacked him on the back of the head, reminding him to give her due credit.

Ten days later and they still hadn't seen the rest of the crew. Rayleigh had reported that a few had peaked into the bar that morning – and Zoro had been particular about knowing the order of their appearance – but the fact that she hadn't actually _seen_ anyone made her antsy. As nice as it was to spend so much time with her family, she hated feeling stuck in limbo. Anyway, she needed to get back to Ilium. Her father hadn't contacted her once during the entire vacation. –no news was probably good news, but still!

Her anxiety inadvertently translated itself into undue frustration at Zoro's disappearance. Her more logical side knew that he would turn up eventually, and he'd be able to make this all up to Kuina somehow. The man could do no wrong by his daughter, who still worshipped the ground he walked on. Helena was starting to get a little jealous, actually.

In Grove 42, Helena finally slowed her pace, instinctively pulling Kuina close to her. What was a full unit of marines doing here? And what were they doing on their hands and knees?

 _Holo holo holo holo!_

Helena heard the ghosts before she saw them wreaking havoc on the downcast marines. She looked around and soon found their source, sitting high up on a column.

"Hey!" Helena called up to Perona.

The Ghost Princess floated down to her, a look of surprise on her face. Helena spoke before she could say anything:

"Have you seen Zoro? He promised Kuina he'd take her fishing! – and he said he finally got her a birthday present. He's only ten days late!"

"Are you serious?" Perona gasped, her eyes bugging out. "Zoro and the rest of the crew are being pursued by the marines! They're meeting up with everyone else back at the Sunny!"

Without missing a beat, Helena scooped Kuina up and plopped her onto her shoulders. "Which way?" she asked.

At that moment, General Hector appeared out of the natural wood of the archipelago floor. "Your Majesty!" he cried, pointing a half striped branch. "Hurry! The Straw Hats ship is that way! They look like they're all gathered!"

Helena nodded at them both, then glanced up at her daughter. "Come on, Kuina. Let's try to catch your Papa before he leaves!"

* * *

Hector tightened his roots in preparation for battle, turning to face the as yet compliant marines. From beside him, Perona let out a huff:

"Humph, he hasn't even given Kuina her birthday present yet?" she grumbled. "He worked so hard to get it too. Every day back at that stupid game booth at the amusement park…"

"You mean he finally won it for her?" Hector asked.

"If he had better sense, I bet he could have found one to buy in town."

Hector chuckled. "I don't know. That particular color is pretty unusual."

"I guess I can't really complain," Perona went on. "He won a few consolation prizes on the way, and he let me keep one." She held out her new teddy bear. It had once probably been pretty cute, but she'd adjusted it to look like some kind of strange zombie surgeon in a blue bubble hat. No matter how he tried, Hector would never understand the ghost girl's macabre taste.

The marines started to straighten up. With a flick of her hand, small ectoplasmic balls appeared in Perona's palm. "I don't need your help, Tree Man," she pointed out.

"It's my duty to protect my liege and her family. You've got my help whether you need it or not, Ghost Girl," Hector replied. "And that's _General_ Tree Man to you."

He grew to about half the size of that grove's main tree, wrapping most of the marine unit in striped roots and pulling them waist deep into the ground. If he wanted he could shake up that entire portion of the archipelago, but he worried about hurting innocent bystanders, so he decided to keep it simple.

Perona let out a huff and floated back to her perch atop a nearby column. Her ghosts made short work of the rest of the marine unit, but she didn't even seem to care. Sighing, she snuggled the teddy bear Zoro had off handedly let her keep.

"You gave me trouble right up to the end, idiot," Hector heard her mumble. "Guess I'll have to find a new boy toy."

 _I didn't realize she had feelings for Roronoa,_ Hector thought, but the thought soon dissipated when she shot him an evil sidelong glance.

"Hey! Don't look over here!" Hector barked, suddenly rigid. "I'm what, twice your age? What's with you and going after married men anyway, weirdo?"

* * *

Zoro gazed back toward the archipelago off the port bow, his heart sinking as the moments trickled by, marked by each popping bubble. The rest of the crew had been distracted by something off to starboard – first a marine ship, and then something to do with some ally of Luffy's blocking the way. Zoro didn't really care – he'd sent a message with Hector about their whereabouts, and could only hope the General got in touch with Helena in time. They couldn't delay their departure, after all. Not with enemies closing in from all sides.

 _Just our luck,_ he thought. _We never get a proper goodbye, do we?_ He sighed internally, his eye lingering on the archipelago for one final glance. _Well, maybe it's better this way._

Just before he turned his attention back to the crew, he caught sight of Helena charging toward him with Kuina waving both hands at him from her mother's shoulders. A grin spread across his face, and he lifted an arm to wave back.

"'Bout time you showed up!" he called.

Helena glared at him as she ran, her mouth pursed in an unamused line.

"PAPA!" Kuina screamed at him like a fan at one of Brook's concerts, waving her arms all the more ecstatically when they made eye contact.

"Got something for you kid!" Zoro called to her, then retrieved her hard won birthday present from where he'd tied it into his sash. He tossed it as hard as he could, glad to see that it could pass through the bubble coating surrounding the ship without much trouble.

Perfect shot! Kuina caught it in her outstretched arms. She was just close enough that Zoro could see the look of wonder on her face. Just as he'd expected, it had been worth all the hard work.

Helena stopped to catch her breath, letting Kuina slide from her shoulders.

"Mama, look!" the little princess shrilled, holding up her prize. "Papa got me a fox!"

"A _green_ fox," Helena observed as Kuina waved the stuffed animal in her face. His wife looked up at him, and a smile finally broke her surly countenance. "That's pretty much perfect. What do you say, Kuina Bee?"

Kuina didn't answer. She was too busy attacking her new stuffed animal. Before Helena or Zoro could react, the dainty little princess had used her sharp teeth to gnash off the fox's left button eye. She spat out the black button without further ado and snuggled her prize, giggling.

"Now perfect," she announced as her parents laughed. "Thank you, Papa!"

Then her mother turned, momentarily distracted by another platoon of marines that had come to attack the Sunny by land. Putting herself between her daughter, husband, and the encroaching men, Helena drew her swords.

Zoro couldn't watch much after that, momentarily distracted by more Navy ships coming from both sides. One of Chopper's bird friends made swift work of one of their sails, while Sanji fended off canon blasts from another. The Sunny had just started to submerge.

They were running out of time. Zoro soon bounded up one of the masts with Brook, preparing to release the sails at Luffy's command.

He chanced a sidelong glance at Helena again as they sank, and smiled. She'd already blasted with her _Chariot of Apollo_ right through the center of the marines, catching more than half of them on fire. And she didn't dance on her tippy toes to put the flames out on her own feet either. Over the short weeks they'd been able to vacation together, he'd helped her train and even increase the range of that attack. If only he'd been able to help her more with haki, but as always, time wasn't on their side.

Zoro jumped back to the deck below as Luffy gave the call to spread the sails. The swordsman caught sight of Kuina as he fell. The kid wasn't watching her mother's heroics. Instead, she stared up at him and the submerging Sunny, her big brown eyes full of tears as she clutched the fox plush to her chest.

It tore at his heartstrings more than he could have anticipated. Leaving her was even harder than leaving Helena!

They were more than halfway under now, which brought him level with the shore. Though he knew the kid probably wouldn't hear him over the din of the submerging ship and the battling marines, Zoro couldn't help an attempt at farewell:

"Take care of your mom for me!" he called, cupping his hands to his face. In all the hulabaloo, the rest of the crew didn't seem to notice.

To his surprise, Kuina nodded energetically.

"I WILL!" she screamed. "I YUV YOU, PAPA!"

Before he could respond, he and the rest of the crew had sunk beneath the waves. The surface of the water closed over them, like a fragmented, liquid mirror, letting in a soft chandelier of sunlight. He found himself smiling despite himself.

He knew he would miss her, but he also knew he was doing the right thing. As Helena said, she and Kuina and Ilium needed him out here, shaking up the world.

" _Love you too_ ," he thought to her, turning to face the crew and the adventures ahead. " _See you around, Little Moss Head."_


	32. Afterword

My Dearest Readers,

Well, I hope that last chapter caught you somewhat off guard. I loved the idea of mirroring Zoro's kidnapping from the last story with a Helena kidnapping in this one. (and I had quite a few readers disappointed at the end of Iliad that Zoro didn't kidnap her, so this was my way of making it up to them). Thank you so much for sharing in this adventure with me! I hope the ending was satisfying!

To business. As one very astute reader pointed out, all good Greek Dramas come in threes! That's right! The story is far from over. After all, Calypso and Cipher Pole are still hanging around Ilium, and we can't have that can we? Without spoiling too much, I can say that Helena will spend a significant amount of time aboard the Sunny with the crew in the New World. The story will be (loosely) based on Virgil's _Aeneid_. (Yeah, not Greek, but it is about the aftermath of the Trojan War from a Trojan perspective. You could almost say Virgil wrote his own fanfic of Homer's classics.)

I've hit one pretty significant snag though. I don't know where in the official timeline to insert it. I'd like to have Helena join up with them sometime when the crew is all together, but I'd really rather not deal with all the other hangers on (Law, Ceasar, Momo, Kinemon etc etc. Not that I don't like those characters, it's just a big enough cast as it is). That means my only real options are before Punk Hazard...or whenever the current arc ends, when the crew reunites in Wano. (Or whatever pocket dimension Film Gold takes place in. That would be perfect.)

What I need from you: First, would you come back for a final installment? I need to know if I have enough readership to be worth the time investment of writing it. - Second, suggestions about where to insert it into the official timeline. Or should I do as many fanfics do, ignore the timeline and just kinda fudge it (like Film Gold)? - I'd love to include some of the newer stuff that's happened to the crew (Dressa Rosa, Whole Cake, etc), but if I do I'm going to have to wait until Oda gives me an opening.

Thank you in advance for your suggestions/comments!

-Cardboard Hut

* * *

 **Final Questionnaire, for those who feel like it:**

1- What did you love about this story? (What kept you reading to the end? I mean, you made it this far.)

2- What did you not love so much, if anything? (I'm not meaning parts or characters that you love to hate. I mean stuff that actually irked you, that you wish I hadn't written at all. Lay it on me. Constructive criticism will help me know my audience and improve).

3- What would you like to see in a sequel? I am currently open to suggestions and ideas.

4- Favorite characters? (OCs or Official Characters that you enjoy the way I write for. I want to make sure favorites are not left out of the sequel should it happen.)

* * *

 ***Bonus Question*** Are there any words or word patterns that you notice I use a lot? ...I know, that's a weird question, but I've run into a few and I'm trying to swap them out for a more varied vocabulary.


	33. Helena's Aeneid is now Up!

Dear Readers:

I decided to go ahead and start into the final book, despite my earlier reticence. Thank you for the reviews and encouragement!

-CardboardHut


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